EU mums in the UK - donor's rights?

(2 Posts)
partenope Sun 17-Mar-13 22:07:39

Hi there,

Together with my partner we are planning to start a family. I am doing my homework and browsing this and other forums and websites for lesbian mums. However I still have lots of questions as we are very new to this subject. We would like to have a known donor and we would want him to be involved ? to some degree, that is. Me and my partner want to be legal parents with our names registered on the birth certificate. I know that we have to be civil partnershiped before conception. We also know that it is advisable to have a donor agreement in place. My main concern is that neither me nor my partner are UK nationals ? we both come from Poland. (We live in the UK now).

I was wondering what we can expect as far as legal matters are concerned ? does it matter that we are not UK nationals and our donor will be British? Another thing is Civil Partnership ? we don?t have this in Poland and according to the Polish law a non-birth mother will be a complete stranger to the child. Of course, we want to bring up our child here, but we cannot exclude the possibility that we would want to come back to Poland one day. Would you happen to know how this can affect our legal situation? Is there a hypothetic possibility that our British donor goes to the Polish court and asks to recognize him as the legal father?

Any input much appreciated!

beeuk Mon 25-Mar-13 09:59:49

Hello, do you two have visas? Like indefinite leave to remain visa aka settlement visa? Im not a british citizen myself, i have a settlement visa an that is all okay. You both want to be birth parents, then you must be in a civil partnership. Or if you go through a clinic an go down the IVF method the non bio parent can still be named as parent on the birth certificate, but the bio mother has to inform the clinic thats what she wants. However if your doing AI at home then you MUST be in a civil partership first. Can you both live an work here legally? If so you can get a civil partnership fine. If you dont want to get a civil partnership then the non bio parent will have to go down the adoptin route, which is a long process.

The donor being british doesnt matter if he isnt going to be the sole care profider for the child aka the father, Also remember if your child is born in the UK the child is a british citizen, and you can if you want apply for dual citizenship of uk and poland. If you one day want to go back to poland then thats something you will have to deal with the non bio parent not having legal rights. I am american, if we decided to move to america, then Id have hardly if any rights to my child because the usa laws arent as equal as UK. its something you will have just deal with sorry. You know the poland laws and know that one of you will have hardly if no rights if you move there, if you choose to then thats something you will just have to live with. My wife and I refuse to move to america where we aren't a family in england we are a family.

A donor agreement is a good idea, it is known to not hold up in court but it does help. Id get a lawyer to sign it an make it more legal. I don't know polish law so that is something you should look into. I don't know if he can take you to polish court or not, but its a risk you have to take if you want kids. Hope this helps you .

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