Garden dilemma

(11 Posts)
p2nmh Sat 25-Jun-16 06:50:45

Morning all. Oh the sun is out again and it's the weekend☀️

Lovefromhull Sat 25-Jun-16 07:02:01

No dilemma there smile

p2nmh Sat 25-Jun-16 07:05:14

I'm not a keen Gardner i have a front garden which I would describe as a challenge one which requires strength, tenacity and lol sheer goodwill. So I recently took advantage of the good weather and began to tackle my garden. As I was beavering away I became the subject of interest to a lovely lady that lives across the road from me during her discussion with me she offered to help me with my garden maintaince I kindly thanked her for her offer but did jovially say it's my project. Ever since then this lady has entered my garden twice to cut down a huge amount of shrubbery which has been lovely but one which I would have preferred to do myself I again thanked her kindly and even wrote a thank you card, but my lovely neighbour won't hear of it again and is saying it gives her some to do, makes her feel useful as she is five years in remission of recovery from the big "C" she is telling me not to touch my own front garden as she loves gardening....AIBU I really don't want the pressure of someone doing my garden, how do I ask this lady politely to please stop? What does anyone else think?

EsmesBees Sat 25-Jun-16 07:11:52

Well that sounds very well intentioned, if a bit intrusive. Could you let her help with other aspects with the project? Ask her opinion on layout etc? To try and deflect her energy from the actual gardening.

Otherwise, you'll just have to be blunter I'm afraid. I'm sure there are local charities who would appreciate her time and skills. Maybe you could point her in their direction.

p2nmh Sat 25-Jun-16 07:18:12

Thank you I was beginning to think it was me.x. I guess I'm just really worried that if I don't have another discussion with her sooner than later I'm guessing she'll continue

steppemum Sat 25-Jun-16 07:37:35

Anticipate her.
Go and knock on her front door, and say you've just come for a chat about your garden.
Nicely say you appreciate her help, but it is your garden and you want to do it.
Repeat about 20 times in different ways, including saying that although you appreciate the thought, it isn't helping you and you actually find it now a bit intrusive. It feels like someone coming into your house without asking.
You would still welcome her advice, but please do not do any more, as you want to do it yourself.

Blunt is the only way unfortunately.

PotteringAlong Sat 25-Jun-16 07:39:56

Do you live near a national trust house? Lots of them have volunteer gardeners. Could you go over armed with Internet printouts?

p2nmh Sat 25-Jun-16 07:48:38

Unfortunately I fear that blunt really is the only way forward...I've noticed at my local library not far that they had started a gardening club....good thought perhaps as suggested I could pop along and collect as much info as possible to act as a deterrent to lessen the blow to this lady but it really is beginning to feel a little intrusive 🙊

GrimmauldPlace Sat 25-Jun-16 07:52:11

If you live near me you can send her round to do my garden grin

p2nmh Sat 25-Jun-16 08:09:50

Lol MrsFizzy just point me armed with my lovely neighbour and she's all yours😉😂😂

charlestonchaplin Sat 25-Jun-16 10:56:09

You're not a keen gardener, but someone helping you out is 'pressure'. You must be British. Unable to accept a gift without good grace because you feel you must reciprocate, or worried about privacy. This could have been such a mutually beneficial arrangement, with the added benefit of generating a bit of a community spirit. But if it doesn't suit you, just tell her. She'll get over it.

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