DS/DD off to Uni? - Empty nest support thread

(1000 Posts)
rustybear Thu 31-Aug-06 20:09:19

DS is off to Warwick in October - anyone else feeling old? Or are there any old hands with advice ?

mumeeee Fri 25-Sep-09 13:03:47

Just a quick update. I've spoken to DD2 this morning and she.s geting on fine although she's a bit lonely today as a lot of her friends are sortimg out a script and she is doing hers at a differnt time. . SHe told me that electricity is now included in thier rent which I'm really pleased about. Also she can now recieve parcels ( they didn't used to be able to). Apparently they have changed the rules since last year as thre has been some complaints about both things and also with the electricity they found that students were finding it difficult to sort it out.

mumeeee Thu 01-Oct-09 10:27:00

Just wondering how eveerybody is getting on. I suddenly had a bit of a break down yesterday and started crying about DD2 although I know she is Ok. I spoke to her on Saturday and she was going in to London for the day with her new friends.

Milliways Thu 01-Oct-09 22:07:18

Hi Mummee!

I have tomorrow off work to help DD pack. She has more friends around tonight for a final goodbye with those who are having a year out as other friends all gone now.

I will be having my wobble this time next week!

mumeeee Fri 02-Oct-09 22:11:43

Hi Milliways. Your DD seems to have a very late start to her course. Is she going on Saturday?
I've just spoken to DD2 she is stillhaving a great time,but has got a bit of work to do now. She says she is fine with it and will be able to finish it by the deadline as she has 2 days off a week,
She hasn't bothered to sort her TV out as she says she is not missing it. I think she goes out a lot with her firends and at other times is busy with uni. Dh and I are off to Barselona tommorrow to celebrate out Silver Wedding Anniversery so won't be around for a week.

Milliways Fri 02-Oct-09 23:31:13

Yes, she is still packing (11:30 pm !) and we drive up tomorrow. Freshers week next week and term ends Dec 5th!! They only have 8 week terms.

Glad your DD is settling in. DS is going to download her favourite TV programmes and send them to her to watch on laptop.

Have a great time in Barcelona. We have a friend based there and weather is still around 21degrees so should be nice

Milliways Sat 03-Oct-09 18:44:09

Dropped her off today!

She has already put out vases with artificial flowers, pictures & photo's on walls, extra cusions on bed etc so her room is very "homely".

She's also very happy they her neighbour has bought all her indian spices with her and is into cooking - asked if she liked Indian! grin

Lots of free parties and events organised for the week - so the fun starts now!

Milliways Wed 07-Oct-09 17:34:37

How y'all doing?

DD phoned yesterday as has had the accommodation bill (we have said we will pay this). They also had the matriculation ceremony - all gowned up. Can't wait to see the photos.

Lectures start tomorrow.....

shockers Wed 07-Oct-09 17:41:56

My DS phoned today and told me he can't sleep because his halls are so noisy til the early hours. His lecture this morning was in a stuffy room which is underground and full of people and it lasted for 2 hours.... he fell asleep. He is getting upset through lack of sleep but likes his fellow hall dwellers and doesn't want to make a fuss. I cried after I'd spoken to him.... he sounded so down. sad

Squishabelle Wed 07-Oct-09 17:59:34

Aw Shockers I feel so sorry for your ds. DD1 had this in her first year and it really was a problem. She was sharing with a group of girls (in hall) who all seemed to be going absolutely wild and just couldnt handle their new freedom (from parents). They didnt even think about going out for the night until 10-11ish! Dd1 used to come home to sleep sometimes and return early the next morning. It wasnt just the noise either - the stealing of food/milk etc always seemed to be a problem, although the installation of a fridge in her (locked) room sorted this. It was much better in her 2nd year when she went into a rented house with more sensible people.

Milliways Wed 07-Oct-09 18:26:32

Aw Shockers! <<Hugs>>

They are all the same. DD only arrived at Uni on Saturday and was out Sat, Sun & Mon - so last night she said she was staying in even though "everyone" was going to see a band in the next college. She was so tired.

I suppose once the coursework etc has to be produced, (and money runs low?) they will all calm down and settle into a routine.

webwiz Wed 07-Oct-09 19:06:31

DD1 is halfway through her third week and they have already calmed down - she has practicals to write up and research for reports and so couldn't carry on the extensive partying she had been doing. She has had also had a few nights in because she's been feeling under the weather (not surprising really - I was beginning to wonder how she was going to survive clubbing every night and going to lectures). I think she's starting to get into a bit of a routine which I'm quite glad about, she has quite a long first term and I think she needs to pace herself.

Shockers I hope your DS gets some sleep soon.

shockers Thu 08-Oct-09 23:04:07

Thank you!
I've spoken to him today, suggesting ear plugs which he says he will go and get. He's going out tonight with some friends who are in their 3rd year and have a house.... am hoping something will come of it!
The thing that's worrying him most is the falling asleep. He did his foundation year with the OU with a full time job so he knows he can cut the mustard but if he can't stay awake to listen....
Thanks again smile

mumeeee Fri 09-Oct-09 13:08:06

Hi |Everyone. I'm back from Barcelona now.had a great time weather was really warm and sunny.My MIL spoke to DD2 on Monday says she semed very happy. I'm going to phone her later today but am dreading it a bit as our cat is not very well and DD2 adores her.
She has a reading week at the end of October and will be coming home for part of that,I'm looking forward to seing her. Shockers sory that your DS is finding it hard to sleep. DD2 has been out a lot but she is used to the late hours because whenever she went to a night club with her friends here they never went out before 9. But she was always very good about coming in quietly(well most of the time). I think they are calming down now as they all have uni work to do.

Milliways Tue 13-Oct-09 16:14:29

Hello everyone - how are they all coping with regular lectures?

DD has a tough timetable with 6 lectures on 1 day (her best day has only 2). When the whole lecture is in a foreign language, given by a native speaker, it is hard!

Will you all have them home for an A leverl Certificate night? Ours in on 20th November.

mumeeee Tue 13-Oct-09 21:17:39

Hi everyone DD2 sems to be coping with long days. Well long for her. She starts at 9 and finishes at 5.15. But she only does 3 days ,she has Tuesdays and Fridays off at the moment. That might change next semester.
We don't have A level certificate days around here, they just go and collect them sometime after they are available. DD2 took her A levels las year she had an unplanned gap year.
She has a reading week at the end of October when she doesn,t have to go into uni. She is coming home for that. Told me last night that she has booked her coach ticket for Monday 26th October and will be staying until the following Sunday. I'm really looking forward to seeing her. I had to tell her last night that our cat had got use and the vet had to put her down. So she is feeling a bit sad about that but otherwise okay. Managed to get in touch with her and DD1 before it actually happened.
Oh and when I phoned last night she was actually staying in to get some uni work done so the going out sems to have calmed down for now.Sorry for such a long post. How is everyone else?

mumof3teens Wed 14-Oct-09 09:24:43

DS2 is loving his course although the placement he went on yesterday was a bit of a reality check - v deprived area. He is really enjoying s catering (although he had requested catered halls). He is coming home for the weekend which will be great. DS1 announced he was also coming home this weekend, turns out he needs to apply for his junior Dr post for the next 2 years and wants us to look at his (thought it wasn't just the pleasure of out company he wanted!). They all seem to be settling in so well though don't they, which really helps us Mums?!

webwiz Wed 14-Oct-09 15:48:41

I think the fact that DD1 has settled well has been a great help - she seems to be having such a good time. DD2 is looking forward to going to stay with her sister for a couple of days in the half term holiday. DD1 has told her to bring something to do on the monday because she will be very busy with her lectures and a 3 hour practical that day and if you had seen how lazy DD1 one was in her A2 year you would know why I am shock about this - but in a good way smile.

DD1 gets her A level certificates at the school's prize giving night in Dec which will be when she is home for Christmas

Milliways Fri 23-Oct-09 20:27:48

One of DD's friends has left Uni due to home sickness

Luckily the college have agreed to defer her place for a year.

mumeeee Fri 23-Oct-09 21:55:43

That's god that she has a place for next year. I think DD2 gets a bit homesick sometimes but she has also made a few friends. She actually said I love you to me on the phone the other night. She was in the pub with her friends. She is coming home on Monday for a few days. It's areading week and she doesn't have to go into uni. I'm really looking forward to seeing her

mumeeee Sun 01-Nov-09 18:18:42

Well DD2 came home on Monday. We've had a good week and beenout for a ccouple of meals together. One with Me and her younger sister and one with the family including MIL ( not DD1 though as she's in London with her DH). She's had a couple of late nights out with her friends from here. She woke us up on Tuesday night when she came in and then she woke me on Wednesday night at about 1.45 texting me to tell me she was sleeping at a friends.grin.
We dropped her off at the coach station this morning and I felt sad again. Although I won't miss being woken up late at night.grin

mumof3teens Mon 02-Nov-09 12:06:58

Yes I still feel a bit sad when DS1 goes back after a weekend at home. DS2 is coming home on Thursday night for the weekend - really looking forward to seeing him (although I know the main reason he is coming is to meet up with his GF!). It is so interesting to hear all of their news though isn't it mumeeee?

mumeeee Mon 02-Nov-09 21:58:46

Hi mumof3teens. Yes it was interesting to here all her news. She kept us entertained by telling us all about the antics she and her friends have got up to. One was taking a roadsign on a bus( the bus driver didn't make any comment) and putting it in their lift.It stayed ther for a few days. She also showed us a photo of her first attempt at making chiken stir fry. She managed to burn it but still ate it. She tends to eat very litle but told us her friends make her finish her food. She has also done some work.grin

Milliways Tue 03-Nov-09 20:36:57

My DD said she is becoming Veggie as meat is so much time/effort! She also eats in the Canteen somtimes just to get out from the books and into some company for a little while each day.

She is finding the workload very tough. She has to produce essays/do tests every week and the work is all expected to be an extremely high standard - which can be demoralising when you are used to being "Top of the class".

We hope to have her home for a weekend in a few weeks for the A level cert. night.

mumeeee Tue 03-Nov-09 20:56:30

In a lot of universities the first year isn't to hard it's seen as just beibng the first step of independance. Although DD2 has done some essays and has two to to hand in this week. She says they are much harder than he English A level ones. She has also got to do a performance on Friday that she wrote,

Milliways Tue 03-Nov-09 21:15:40

I think that's part of the problem for her - most of her friends are telling her how much spare time / lack of actual work they all have! Still, she wanted the joys of Oxbridge!

Hope your DD's performance goes well

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