DS/DD off to Uni? - Empty nest support thread

(1000 Posts)
rustybear Thu 31-Aug-06 20:09:19

DS is off to Warwick in October - anyone else feeling old? Or are there any old hands with advice ?

outtolunchagain Sun 09-Dec-12 07:28:42

Ds home today , he apparently has a lot of work to do but needs to recharge . Apart from some organisational issues I think the first term has gone OK , very proud of him for settling in so well and taking most of it in his stride .

Can 't imagine where all his stuff I'd going to go though,would be good if he could leave quite a lot there!

fussychica Sun 09-Dec-12 12:16:39

Lucky you - another week to go here - really looking forward to seeing him.

Glad it is all going well for him. Mine is able to leave everything there until year end so I have months to think about where it's all going to gogrin Howeever, when it comes home in the summer most of it will be stuck here for a year or more as he is on his Year Abroad next year.

zerua Mon 10-Dec-12 02:26:46

Can I join? Bit late though... Three DCs all in uni- teach me to have twins! Mine are all currently home. They're all at different unis and they seem more interested in each other, the dog, the cat and the budgies than me hmm. DD1 is at Maastricht (so in the Netherlands), DS is at Uppsala (Sweden) and DD2 (twin to DS) is in Copenhagen. Felt all lonely, until they came home and messed up the house so spectacularly in just a few days. DD3 is going to university next year. Hopefully it'll be closer.

fussychica Mon 10-Dec-12 13:29:49

zerua Where abouts are you? If you are in the UK what made your kids all pick places abroad?

zerua Mon 10-Dec-12 16:38:36

We lived in Sweden originally, then Denmark, Switzerland and finally Germany until the twins went to university last year, now in England all because of our jobs. They chose universities where we lived, most of them want to settle down in one of those countries but for DD3.

gelo Sat 15-Dec-12 00:50:30

Went to fetch ds today - really nice to have him home, but he's not at all well. Any suggestions for tonsillitis?

LondonMother Sat 15-Dec-12 09:43:15

Plenty of fluids, lots of rest. If it doesn't get better get him to a GP as he might need antibiotics. Tonsillitis is very nasty, really quite like flu. Hope he's better soon and the rest of you don't succumb!

gelo Sat 15-Dec-12 11:16:35

Thanks London. He's already on his second course of antibiotics (so he's seen a doctor twice), but they're not doing much good, so I think it's viral. He is being sick a lot sad

fussychica Sat 15-Dec-12 12:34:27

Poor you gelo and your DS, of course. Hope he get's well soon.
Due to pick DS up from the station at 2.30pm - getting quite excited now grin. Already have orders for meals over the next couple of days - he's a lanky lad so happy to feed him up.

webfizzystuff Sat 15-Dec-12 15:52:46

Could it be glandular fever gelo? It has the same symptoms as tonsillitis but isn't shifted by antibiotics. Hopefully not and he'll feel better soon.

DD2 needs picking up from the station in about an hour and DH is picking DD1 up smile.

gelo Sat 15-Dec-12 18:21:51

I suppose it could be webfizzy - it's a fairly common thing to have at that age. To be honest, I'm not too bothered what it is as long as he gets better soon. I don't think there's a treatment specific to glandular fever that doesn't apply to anything of that ilk?

He's been drinking plenty and seems to be appreciating being waited on, so hopefully he'll get better quickly. It's so nice to have him home again and be able to spoil him a bit. He had a rough time last week what with being sick and the heating in his room breaking.

I hope everyone else is enjoying having their dc home and that they've not bought too many unwelcome bugs home with them.

outtolunchagain Mon 07-Jan-13 18:46:08

Just dropped ds off for second term, feeling decidedly wobbly , after the initial high he hasn't really gelled with the people he shares with , not not getting on but not soul mates if you know what I mean .

He has made friends but they seem a bit scattered . Everyone seems to be sorted out with somewhere to live next year and he isn't , he is worried he will end up in a bedsit on his own . How people can make decisions like that when they have barely known each other 2 months , the whole thing seems very pressurisedhmm

I just want to make it all right for him, he's bright, interesting but quite serious in some ways , and a bit introverted in that he finds chit chat difficult and doesn't want to drink gallons of vodka night after night.hmm

gelo Mon 07-Jan-13 22:36:49

That's tough for him and you out, hopefully he'll settle in better this second term, but it's a worry. Ds went back (to a weeks pre-term training camp) on New Years Day, having been ill most of the break (to the point of almost needing hospital admission) and still with a residual ear infection and I've been worrying about him ever since. He didn't manage to get through his holiday work and it is so hard if you get behind. His workload seems slightly insane and was worrying him.

outtolunchagain Mon 07-Jan-13 22:41:08

It's so hard isn't to stand back and say units up to the now . Dh seems to be so much better st that then me.Your poor ds , ear infections are awful, ds was plagued with them all through year 13. What is he studying , ds has gone back to exams , am hoping he copes OK

outtolunchagain Mon 07-Jan-13 22:42:01

Sorry that was meant to say "it's up to them" not units !

gelo Mon 07-Jan-13 23:38:50

Yes exams for ds on friday too out (they don't count for anything apparently, but it dents confidence to not do so well).

I think it's not uncommon for them not to find their longer term friends straight away, so I hope your ds meets some similar people this term. Often when people pal up with the people they just happened to be neighbours to it doesn't work out as well as if they wait to find friends that really are more compatible.

Ds is doing maths - says it's very, very, very much harder than school maths (which he breezed through with little effort and 100% in most modules), so it's been quite a shock to his system, but as far as I understand the others are mostly in the same boat.

fussychica Tue 08-Jan-13 14:38:11

Try not to worry out DS was in hospital from freshers to mid term last year so missed out on the first round of flat sharing arrangements for the following year (ridiculously early at most Unis). He has been sharing a house with 7 other - only knew 3 of them prior to living together. I'm sure he'll get sorted - they'll be loads of people who are in the same boat.
gelo - hope your DS is better soon.
DS still has 2 weeks at home as had all his exams pre Xmas and lectures don't resume until the end of the month - I sometimes wonder what he's paying for!

fussychica Tue 08-Jan-13 14:40:08

there will be not they'll be - hate lack of edit facility on this site.

sandripples Sat 12-Jan-13 18:09:34

Out - my DS doesn't feel as though hes made many real friends as yet either. I do recall that I was the same though, and that it took me most of the first year to find soul-mates (whom I still love now nd that's 40 years later!)

DS is in London and I think it takes longer to settle there as well, as its a shock to the system if you haven't lived there (or indeed in any city) before. He had a lovely Xmas break and it was hard seeing him go back as the work is so intense (Imperial) but he says he's fine now.

Pleaseandthankyou Sat 12-Jan-13 20:40:48

Sandripples does he enjoy Imperial? my ds has an offer and feels he wouldn't enjoy it but also feels it is an excellent uni

Copthallresident Sun 13-Jan-13 13:09:57

My dd is at a London uni, also a very demanding Science course, she loves it. I would say she probably doesn't have the easy and wide social life that her friends at other unis have and she does have to work very hard, 9 to 5 lectures and labs and works most evenings so no watching Countdown and Pointless! However she has made lots of good friends and they make the most of what London has to offer. She is in third year and now wouldn't dream of anywhere else for postgrad.

sandripples Wed 16-Jan-13 19:56:14

Hi, sorry haven't been on MN for a few days.
I think its still a bit early to say how DS feels about Imperial. The work load is definitely very demanding (so at least I feel we're getting our money's worth) and he felt he'd had a good first term. Socially - there are not many he's met so far who are from the North, and certainly not from Northern comprehensives - he feels a bit different because of that, but he's enjoying getting to know students from all over the world, and he's keeping up fine with the courses.

His experience is also affected by the fact he has a serious girlfriend who is not in London -

And its very expensive.

Another friend of mine says students do take longer to feel at home in London if they're not from there, but they do settle and enjoy it in the end. (She is a teacher who's known lots of pupils go to uni all over the place and also has a daughter who went to a London uni so I trust her advice)

The course is very well regarded of course.

I'm glad Copthall's DD enjoys it - encouraging! Waving!

sandripples Wed 16-Jan-13 19:57:33

BTW Please and thanks- what course is the offer for?

Pleaseandthankyou Wed 16-Jan-13 20:15:35

mechanical engineering. Ds wondering if the Imperial course is much better than Bath or Bristol as he feels he would have more fun there. Bath seems to be the up and coming university for engineering.

Copthallresident Thu 17-Jan-13 08:48:44

Waves at Sandripples, DD has two flatmates from northern comprehensives, they were her flatmates in her first year flat and they have stayed together, there are some out there!! I was very pleased as I am northern myself and sometimes wonder how I bought up these Home Counties Princesses wink. One of the things DD likes about the London unis is they seem to be more mixed than some of the city unis that attract large contingents from private schools who tend to stick together. Her flat is a complete mix, a bit like Fresh Meat (hopefully only a BIT like Fresh Meat) but they have christened each other after the characters and they even have an annual weekend at the posh flatmates country pile........ shock

pleaseandthankyou I would say from DDs peers that whatever uni they go to they will have a good time socially. They obviously have to make their own minds up after visiting but as an academic myself I would say that it is vital they make sure the course is right for them. Too many drop out because they did a course because they thought they should, either for league table position or job prospects, rather than because they really wanted to do the course, and it's structure and modules offered etc. were right for them. DD didn't even apply to Nottingham for that reason, and rejected Bath's offer, even though she was offered a scholarship, because the academic staff didn't inspire her.

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