Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on fostering.

Can a child leave foster care at 16 (UK)

(8 Posts)
SarahJ14 Wed 23-Nov-16 13:08:49

My cousins daughter was taken into foster care when she was little. For valid reasons she was taken from the area away from our whole family. Anyway without going into it, her mum was useless her dad went bad ways. i did everything i could for her but being young myself and living where i did i was completely powerless i could only do so much and now 12 years on i pretty much still am. The thing is, out of all of my family who i have mostly disowned, i was the only one who felt real love and concern towards her. I watched her be born and even as a baby was the only person she ever wanted as her mum couldnt be bothered. I died inside the say she was taken. So as you can imagine we have a strong bond. I tried everything within my power to protect her, i miss her terribly and have thought about her everyday since.
A few months ago, she found me via social media. She said she remembered me and all the fun we had together, and that she misses me. Which was lovely to hear as i didnt think she would remember after all this time. Shes had a terrible time emotionally in foster care. She just wants to be with me and have a mum. Im a married mum now, my husband of 11 years knows how important she is and is extremely supportive. Only problem is, our local authority rented home is too small. We are saving for a mortgage but its going to be 2018 before we have enough deposit together. Shes 16 soon, where do i stand? I really want her back.
Ps i havent gone to social services since she got in touch, shes worried about having her phone taken away and being moved (again) theyve threatened to put her in a childrens home as according to her foster carer "no family will want you" 😡

OohhThatsMe Wed 23-Nov-16 13:11:49

I think you should talk to a social worker in confidence, ie not giving her name, and ask what you should do.

fasparent Wed 23-Nov-16 13:46:42

Theoretical she could be transferred too your care is still under eighteen and as long as she is in continual education can be until after education.
Would speak too her LA and explore possibility's of Kinship care and Special Guardianships order's.
Given the right support and understanding no reason why can not proceed with her education is sixth form and college. Of course would have too be on a strict understanding of all party's including the child.
Wish you the best of luck.

SarahJ14 Wed 23-Nov-16 16:31:02

I have a social worker in the famly (different side and knows nothing about this child) she wants no part in it which is admirable for her to want to be professional but at the same time completely useless to me. Im guessing without going about it officially by disclosing her name & then risking disrupting her then social services arent going to help. But i can try.
I know i can apply for parental rights, but surely by the time all checks are done and we find a house big enough for her she would be almost 18 anyway.
I know that my hands are still tied with regards to gaining parental responsibility due to the long process and tbe changes needed to be made in our housing circumstances. But what im really asking is what are HER rights in regards to leaving foster care when she turns 16? Can she be stopped from leaving by her own decision at that age? X

hesterton Wed 23-Nov-16 16:38:12

Can't you start by seeing if you can have officially sanctioned contact and see her regularly before anything as drastic as a move is considered? She will be half way through a school year and a disruption in her education now could have significant implications.

TwentyCups Wed 23-Nov-16 16:45:28

Can't a child of sixteen leave home legally anyway? I think it's legal to leave home at 16 once you have completed year 11. I know a few girls who moved in with boyfriends at 16 and 17.
Obviously the laws might be different for a looked after child. The best person to speak to is probably her SW.

Congratulations on finding each other again smile

SarahJ14 Wed 23-Nov-16 23:22:10

Hesterton- contact would definately be the next best option and definately better than the nothing weve had for the last 12 years. In regards to disruption, she would never have to change schools to live with me, as the school she attends is a half hour drive away, not only that she has a friend who lives around the corner from me where she sometimes sleeps over and they get the school bus together from here.

TwentyCups- i know under normal circumstances of lots of children leaving home at 16/17. I (think i) know at the very least at 16 foster kids are entitled to request addresses and details of family members etc. But family members cant be given details until the child is 18.

And thank you 😊 its been an emotional few weeks for both of us xxx

elfish Sun 27-Nov-16 21:15:12

i think it will depend if she is under a full care order, she should know herself what her status is, can you ask her?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now