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Would this go against an approval for foster care?

(5 Posts)
goddessoftheharvest Sat 21-May-16 10:51:48

DH and I have been talking for years about becoming foster carers at some point in the future. It wouldn't be for another couple of years, but it's definitely something we want to do

I realise that as part of the approval process, your past history is looked into very thoroughly, and that ex partners are sometimes interviewed

I have only been with one person before DH, the father of my child. He has no contact with my child, who sees DH as daddy, has done from toddlerhood

My ex was not a nice person. We were young when we met and we never lived together. I have no doubt that he would happily say awful things about me out of pure spite. Would ss take this into account?

I would be so upset if there was no chance of us doing something we feel so strongly about, just because of him

Withershins Sat 21-May-16 21:48:00

When we were assessed they wanted to contact my husbands ex-wife, she was very bitter towards us, so we were worried. In the event she never replied to our social workers letters, emails or phone calls, but we had discussed it with our social worker, who said that she could say whatever she wanted but if she didn't have an evidence of anything then it wouldn't be given credence. The social workers are not stupid, and your ex will not be the first they have encountered with an agenda, or an axe to grind.
Good luck when you finally apply, it's hard but rewarding.

Ticktacktock Sat 21-May-16 23:00:26

They didn't contact my exdh.

How long ago it was may have some bearing on it.

blueskywithclouds Tue 24-May-16 20:44:20

Mine contacted my ex...who I lived with for a total of 6months...8years ago! The reference isn't detailed, it is just a tick box with "do you have any concerns" and that is pretty much it. It doesn't give them an opportunity to talk in detail. My social worker assured me they understand that ex's may be malicious. Don't worry too much about it.

bexollie Thu 17-Nov-16 15:54:59

Ive completed stage one and I'm waiting to see if I've gone to stage two .Basically they have to contact significant past partners my childrens father has had no contact for almost twenty years and the circumstances were tricky, the social worker contacted extra people who know me to get a picture and references of what I'm like to avoid seeing him.It depends on the circumstances

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