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Advice (and reassurance) needed for newbie!

3 replies

Bubble12345 · 20/04/2016 08:02

We were approved as foster carers last year and after what has seemed like an awful long time (5 months!) we are about to start intros with a sibling group of 4 (10 yrs+) for a long term placement. I have no idea what this entails apart from we will be meeting them on 'neutral' ground before they come over to our home.
I appreciate they might be more nervous than me, but I would be great full for any advice on what to expect!

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3PurpleCrocs · 20/04/2016 10:18

4! Wow, you're jumping in at the deep end!

Have you been provided with structured intros? I.e. Meet for an hour on day one, a bit longer on day 2, your house day 3 etc? I only usually get basic intros when taking a new child (they usually arrive in the middle of the night with no info!) so would love something properly arranged - I'd use it to gather as much info on routines as possible from their current carer (as the kids may tell you bedtime is midnight, they only eat McDonalds etc...)

I did have a good introduction to my current FC and we spent most meet ups playing games, exploring my house, going round the local area. They brought a few more of their belongings each time so when "moving day" came there were already lots of familiar things around.

Good luck!

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Bubble12345 · 20/04/2016 18:19

Hi Purple, yes were surprised as we were expecting to be asked to take 2 or even possibly 3.
Lol, I have a suspicion that the meals and bedtimes you mention are the norm! As for the structured intro, I'm not sure but I get the impression that they are trying to move them ASAP. Our SSW only got back to their SW yesterday and she responded with wanting to start intros on Saturday. I guess I'm just wondering what to expect!

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willowrose30 · 21/04/2016 08:28

Hi Bubble. How exciting. We took on 3 little ones as a first placement.
I find that it's always a bit awkward at the first meeting. For the kids and you. You just need to take your lead from them. If they are super chatty and running about inquisitive then encourage their questions and show them around. If they are more quiet and reserved ease them in gently and don't bombard them with questions.
I always find it helpful to have a few snacks and drinks out on the table as a distraction.
It's not exactly good parenting 101 but it's an idea to have the tele on in the background so it gives them something to focus on.
Please don't worry in a few months time it will be like intros never happened and you have known them of an age.
You will quickly fall into a grove.
Also a good idea to stick to your expectations from the start. You don't need to go in a list of the house rules on the first visit but mention things as you go. Eg this is our bedroom, if you ever need me give me a knock or shout and I will come out. We don't go into each others room unless invited. Or this is the dining room, we like to eat our meals together at the table.
Good luck, I'm sure it will be fab. :)

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