Hi, I have a sibling group of 3, plus my own young child. From day one I have felt (and many friends/extended family have pointed out) that there is something more than just attachment problems with the youngest of the 3. Obviously our children are a result of their environment and I understand that (I go above and beyond to do any and all training) but I feel there's something more there. They've been with us coming on for 2 years now and the sw's just keep repeating the same thing - disorganised attachment. The children's sw will very often say, when I'm telling her of an incident/problem, well that sounds like my lg or lb which is ridiculous as her children are her own so to compare is like comparing an apple to a loaf of bread. Anyway, I'm starting to just give in now and accept that maybe it is just the attachment problem and nothing more.
My issues in that case are that having 4 young children here and one that physically cannot follow any rules because literally as soon as I've said it she's forgotten it, can't ever tell me why she's done something because she has the same understanding of the word why as a toddler, lies all the time over pointless things, even saying she's done things she hasn't done that will get her in trouble, not to mention the daily wetting and soiling and then continuing to sit in it all day even after being asked is she has, all of this is too much for me.
There, I've said it. It's too much. My husband took them to school this morning and I've sat at home crying, feeling like I'm in a hole I can't get out of. When we started fostering I said no under 5's. She was 4 but I thought it would be ok as I really wanted this group and the other 2 were a little older. Nobody explained that she was so badly delayed that she wasn't really 4, she was 2.
My massive problem now is that if I can no longer do this, they will move the whole group, not just her and the thought of what that will do to them and us is heartbreaking.
Sorry for such a long post! I'm just so lost.
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23 replies
fc6362 · 16/03/2016 09:19
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