Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on fostering.

I need all the advice I can get!

(4 Posts)
sunnydisposition123 Wed 05-Aug-15 14:12:45

Hi all,

My name is Rach and I am a single Mother of a 5 year old girl. I have recently found out that my Sister is currently in care.

I won't dive too deep in to the circumstances but the long and short of it is that I am now going through an assessment in the hope that she can come and live with me.

I am looking for as much help and advice as I can get surrounding my situation.

Before I realised the situation I moved house (in May) into a small two bedroom house. I think I am tied in to this house until November (I rent). The social worker has told me there might be a work around and financial help available for me to move into a bigger home. Although this is an inconvenience as I have only just moved, I am more than happy to do it if it benefits my Sister long term. There is no way we would all comfortably be able to live in my current home, we are all on top of eachother. Does anyone know how I would go about this? Do I just start looking for bigger houses and approach the social worker?

Now all my parenting experience comes from being a Mother to my 5 year old. My sister is 14...so very different ages. Does anyone care for children of this age? What rules do you have in place? What sort of activities do they do? How do they spend their time? Do you monitor mobile phone/internet usage etc?

Also, I can't seem to find much about financial help available to people in my situation. I am going through the "friends and family foster care" route. Does anybody know what financial support I will get? I need to make sure that I can still afford all of my rent, bills etc.

Finally, what impact will this have on my 5 year old? They have met each other and they get on fine. My daughter is pretty easy going and not really the jealous type so not too concerned there, especially if I move and they have their own bedrooms.

I completely understand that my situation is a little unusual. I have a very good friendship with my daughters father so he will help where he can. I will be honest here and say that I know this situation is not going to be easy. I will miss having my free "me" time when my daughter is with her Dad. I understand that any future relationships will be affected by this (not that I'm really looking but you never know). I have weighed up the pros and cons and overall I just want to be there for my Sister. She hasn't had the best upbringing (through no fault of her own) and I want to be there to support her, make her feel loved and guide her on the right path.

What I'm looking for is any information or advice I can get as this is completely unfamiliar ground for me.

Thank you so much in advance smile

Cassimin Wed 05-Aug-15 15:00:18

There is a forum you could look at and maybe ask legal questions on I know they have advisors who may be able to guide you through financial matters. That are called family rights group. (FRG).

sunnydisposition123 Wed 05-Aug-15 15:19:08

Thank you Cassimin, will look now smile

alwayhappytohelp Wed 05-Aug-15 20:40:15

What a nice thing you are doing! Looking after teenagers is the hardest of jobs. Today's teenagers its another ball game.Try and look back at your own teenage years what can you remember. It also can be costly! Make sure you get the best of financial support package. I would be skeptical with social worker helping with accommodation. If you were offered financial assistance towards the rent. What happens if relationship broke down. Once she had left you would have no further links with LA. Teenagers can be jealous of younger children and find them irritating. You could apply to the local housing. There has been a lot of changes re: benefits etc. The bedroom tax etc. You could be left with paying the short fall. You don't say if you are working or will be giving up a job. I would speak to your sister re: hobbies, pocket money, access to the internet etc. Ask her what expectations does she have once she lives with you. I assume she is aware. If not check with those looking after her. What her expectation re: boy/friends. You need to be asking a lot of questions. Do you feel able to leave her in your home when you go out etc.

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