Adoption process

[willowrose30]

Hi all. We have a sibling group moving onto there forever family. They have been with us since coming into care.
They are our first placement and I'm wondering if anyone has been through the adoption process and can give any words of advice on what to expect and timescales. It is my understanding that introductions take place over a month? Any input on the introductionas also greatly received.
Also how do you "get over" it. Whilst I am obviously really happy they will be moving on in such a positive way I know it's going to be really difficult to let go. Do you normally take a break between placements or jump straight back on the horse so to speak.
Thanks.

[scarlet5tyger]

Hi Willow, I've been through it lots of times now. Timescales vary, I've had intros range from 6 weeks to 7 days. It depends a lot on the age of the children and how prepared they are. As a (very) general rule my babies have tended to move in 7 days whilst older children (oldest was 7) are around 2 weeks.

Be prepared to be VERY tired even though you're not doing much more than you usually would. It's emotionally draining, and making conversation with strangers for 12 hours a day is not easy. Plus there's all the baggage of preparing yourself to let the children move on.

Be prepared for your foster children to be little angels during the day, then release all their emotion at night once new parents have left.

Usually half the intros will be at yours, and the second half at the children's new house. Second half is generally easier for me (as you obviously have left child care to do) but much more emotionally challenging as it becomes real that they're actually going...

I don't think you ever do "get over it", you just "get on with it". I don't have a break between placements if I can help it. Can't afford it, and also the house is so quiet it just leaves time to brood.

Do you have a buddy system in your area? Lots of FCs will know exactly what you're going through and be able to offer support locally. Otherwise, feel free to PM me.

[wonderpants]

We have never done intros that last more than a week. It is a very intense time in which I have always felt that we've merged as a big family for a week then separated.
It is hard, but brilliant at the same time. My advice would be

1. Always remember that they are now the parents. Remember how it feels to be a new parent- exciting, scary etc

1. Don't cry, don't show anything other than happiness for their special time. Do it in private.

1. Give them space, don't hover! Try and have times scheduled in for chats without the kids. Cup of tea after bedtime and things like that.

1. Give them all the information you have, even the little things about which brand of dummy they prefer. Write it down.

1. Make sure you do something nice after they've gone. Don't spend the day crying, go out and celebrate a job well done!!

Good luck