FC wont drink....any advice?

[DwellsUndertheSink]

Im having a devil of a job getting FS to drink - he was only just weaned from full time bottles at 2y4mo when he arrived, and has steadfastly refused to drink from cups since then - he occasionally drinks from a particular sippy cup - but we are talking max once a week - so there is no physical issue. He's been with us over 4 months. He still drinks bottles at night, because we have to ensure he gets enough liquids in him.

We've had some great advice from our health visitor, and have managed (baby steps) to stop the daytime and overnight bottles. He now has 8oz milk after his bath and a further 4-5 oz in bed. He is sleeping well and gaining weight, eating well and otherwise a happy chappie.

I have managed to get him drinking juice from a carton - yeay! and Im diluting the juice therein so we are not wrecking his teeth.

But how the heck do I get him to drink from a cup or beaker? SOme have advised letting him go cold turkey. He will drink when he is thirsty etc. But this is not really my style and also, I feel that this might be an attachment/nurturance issue with him.

He will only drink from the carton if I hold it. No one else, just me. He could hold it himself but wont. He likes to sit on the stair and for me to hold it while bending down to him. Then he strokes my face. Sometimes he looks at me. most of the time he avoids eye contact. He will also sit in his high chair and drink if I hold the carton. If im out, he will tolerate my son giving him a drink. He has attached very well to both my son and me.

We have tried every cup/beaker in the world, including the sippy straw cups. We have taken it right back to the beaker style bottle teats, sippy cups with two handles, you name it, we have tried it.

He can drink direct from a cup because he has done so with a jug in the bath! He just refuses to do so, even when thirsty. Ive stopped him, before now, from dipping his hand into the dogs bowl and sucking on his wet sleeve. Heartbreaking.

He is with us because of neglect and abuse.

ANyone heard/experienced similar? Any advice on helping him?

[burberryqueen]

aww poor little boy........have no suggestions sorry except to keep on offering him drinks in a normal cup and getting what u can down him with the carton....

[HappySunflower]

Have you tried straws?
Turning it into a game might help....letting him blow bubbles etc quite often does the trick!

[HappySunflower]

Whoops, hit post too soon.

The comfort he derives from his bottles probably outweighs the benefit of getting him weaned off them, to be honest-so I wouldn't worry too much.
So long as you are managing a good tooth brushing regime, and he's only having milk or water through a teat, I wouldn't worry.

I think you're spot on in thinking its a nurturing/attachment thing.

[Fourbears]

Would he use a straw in an ordinary cup? A curly straw? Take him to choose a very special cup that is just his? One with his name on? Sorry, you've probably tried all that, it's just what came to mind. for you, sound like you're so great with him.

[hettienne]

Is it very important that he doesn't drink from a bottle?

[DwellsUndertheSink]

thanks all. Hettie, im not planning on dropping nighttime bottle just yet, its more during the day. he wont drink anything but milk from a bottle, and if he has milk in the day, he does not eat. SO we have stopped the bottles to get him eating, and just need to top up the liquid during the day - especially when its so hot.

He does eat juicy fruits like grapes and satsumas, and loves yoghurts. He is a recent convert to Heinz Tomato soup, so he does get some fluids through his food.

Its just awkward and difficult to eg. go out and about with an open carton.

Im hoping that as we deal with the attachment issues, he will start to copy other children and drink from a cup. We keep offering, and he refuses every day, but we leave the cups lying around for experimentation.

[hettienne]

Will he have water or diluted juice from a bottle?

[HollyMadison]

My DS is about the same age. Actually he loves drinking water but he is a fussy eater and has a bit of an oral aversion. Up till a few months ago he wouldn't drink anything other than water from an uncovered cup (although in the past he had drunk high calorie formula out of a tommy tippee sippy cup but he had to come off that).

We wanted to get him drinking cow's milk to get more calories into his diet but he was just so suspicious of anything other than his water bottle. We managed to do it in a few steps...

First, we got him drinking Milo in cartons (not in UK, not sure if you get it there). He started this because he goes to a sports group thing that he loves and there is a drink vending machine there. We made a big show of letting him put in the coin and get a drink and when he saw the other kids doing it he did too. We then bought the same drinks from the supermarket and had them in our fridge. Then I told him we had run out of the cartons but made up the Milo myself with powder and cow's milk and served it in a plastic cup with a straw. It took a few offers but now he is happily drinking it and I'm reducing the amount of powder.

So could you start with what he will currently do and make small changes at a time? Start with the carton he likes and a straw. Then "accidentally" split the top of the carton so he can see the juice but still gets to drink out of the straw? Then run out of cartons but luckily have the same juice in a cup with one of the old straws?

Or maybe offer drinks after some fun physical exercise so he's thirsty and relaxed? Or the "fun" vending machine with other kids? Or buy him a special bath cup with his favorite animal/character on and let him drink (non-soapy) bath water then bring the special cup into other parts of the house?

I'm in favour of the gradual approach not cold turkey.

[lambinapram]

Perhaps water down the milk gradually? Use full fat so he still gets the creamy taste.
my DD who is 3 still likes a morning bottle, we use doctor browns Y shape teats (in a standard boots wide neck bottle) so she can drink it quickly so less damage to teeth.

[scarlet5tyger]

I think the key thing that stood out to me from your post is that he will tolerate a carton if you hold it. I think you are more important than the drinking implement. Will he drink from a cup if you hold it?? Perhaps not, as he is likely to be associating a bottle with being held and maybe feeling safe.

I had a 3.5 year old come to me still with a bottle. We moved on by using straws and by her making a few friends and seeing they didn't have bottles. It took a long time though, and she often asked to play "babies" so she could have pretend baby bottles even when her own had gone.