Emergency Intrem care order need advise please.......

(5 Posts)
clairesmith923 Sat 03-Aug-13 02:00:45

My fiancée and i are offering to take in out grandson 5 month old baby boy who is on an intrem care order. The court case is on Monday and i do not have any info yet about what out assessment will consisted of etc. He is in emergency placement now but am hoping to get temp care of baby for the 8 weeks until review date.As for all i know my step daughter could win him back off of the social after 8 weeks. So if i can avoid baby going with strangers in between that would be great. What will be expected of me and my partner. I know they crb check you, what other checks do they do? We have a baby same age, but we know we can cope with two as have all they would need here and have a close bond with baby as i was at the birth and we love him. Also i have support of family and friends. What if its a permanent fostering order they go for. Would we be eligible? I hope some one has some answers for me am so worried i wont get him due to the short time were offering to take him as my partner will only agree to 8 weeks my hands are tied.

lovesmileandlaugh Sat 03-Aug-13 10:18:56

It is hard to advise really, I think you just need to be completely upfront with the social workers, and ask them all the questions you want answers to. They will give you better advice than any of us could as they know the circumstances.
I wish all your family well, it must be an awfully stressful time.

Roshbegosh Sat 03-Aug-13 23:02:34

I don't know but I hope they can sort this out for you. They may look at whether you smoke, if you can offer a safe environment for the child and they will want to see their room. They might ask about feeding the child. They will want to know the baby will be safe from whatever the risk was that put him in care, so if your DD will be around then maybe that will be a problem. If it was for longer term they would want to know all about your support networks and your health. I am only speaking from my experience as a foster carer, I am no expert on this sort of thing and I hope someone more knowledgeable comes on to tell you more. Good luck.

auntycupcake Sat 03-Aug-13 23:25:15

hi clairesmith...you must be going out of your mind with a lot of "what ifs" and "should i" and with a little one yourself to care for!
I have been in your shoes with my niece (but i do not have any children of my own).
my niece was placed with me under an interim care order back in march and we have a final court hearing in a few weeks where she will either be placed back into her mum's care or myself and my partner will "hopefully" be granted a special guardianship order.
one big factor in comparison to my circumstances back in march which is different to your situation now is that i had made myself known as possible alternative carer for my niece when social services first became involved as like you i did not want her to be placed into foster care pending an assessment taking place. so...our viability check had been carried out and we had already been recommended for a full assessment.
the viability check included police checks and a sw coming to visit me and my partner at home for a very indepth chat which included going way back into family history, previous significant relationships, etc! this meant that when my neice became subject to a police protection order ss were able to place her with me immediately as the viability check had been done.
now...from my experiences i know that a child can be placed with a family member in an emergency situation for a period of time before full checks have been made.
they will be very interested in how your partner feels about the situation and they will want him to show that he is fully supportive...my partner was reduced to tears when the sw "interrogated" him about how he felt about my neice being placed into foster care!
they will want to know where the baby will sleep, eat, etc.
u have to prepare yourself for the sw to ask you why you will be happy for the 8 weeks but no longer...they literally cannot leave any stone unturned!
ss will also need to see that you will be able to put your grandsons needs first regardless of the relationship you have with your daughter! this has been the hardest part of the interim care orders for me personally with regards to contact. for the first interim care order, my neice's care plan stated that my brother and sister in law were to have strictly 3 hours contact per week only! you feel completely torn between your family and ss! ive had my brother begging to come and see my neice and i have had to refuse because theyve had all of their access time already for this week!
i am assuming that your daughter is going to have a parenting assessment done during the eight weeks (my bro and sil had a negative outcome which led to another interim care order and now a final hearing date). you need to prepare yourself for the outcome of your grandson not being able to be returned to your daughter...and you must be honest with social workers about this.
i sympathise with you regarding your partner's views. my partner has always been supportive of us having my neice as long as needed (thank god!) but he isnt so supportive of contact! he finds it so frustrating when they arrive for contact saying "im knackered. we went out last night drinking and we didn't get home until 4 this morning" when he is caring for "their" daughter! i feel completely in the middle and dread contact time as i know afterwards he will find something to moan about! but theres only so many times i can tell him that they are entitled to this contact time!
if you do have your grandson placed with you under an interim care order i cannot stress to you how much your life will be turned upside down! there will be lots of appointments including visits from LAC nurses, social workers, health visitors, independent guardians!!!! i work full time and i literally lost half of my annual leave entitlement due to having to take time off for appointments at the very beginning! thankfully it has now calmed down!
i feel like ive ranted about all the negatives...ooops! i can assure you that i sleep easier at night now knowing that i have prevented my neice from entering the care system which inevitably would have resulted in her being put up for adoption. everyday she puts a smile on our faces and we have somehow adapted our previous "no children" lifestyle into a family unit! please do not read the threads which complain of how unsupportive social services are...these scared the crap out of me when i was sat up worrying about the "should i" questions. social services have a lot on their plate and are quite frankly overworked! we had a shockingly unprofessional social worker at first (she was sacked) but the social worker i have now is wonderful and in fact all other social workers i have come into contact with have one thing in common...the welfare of the child! take time to build on this relationship and know that you can contact childrens services any time!
i think your first step has to be making yourself known to social services and get the ball rolling...if you have not already done so! the LA have a duty to place children with family or friends first if suitable people are identified!
i hope somewhere in this essay (sorry!!) you can find useful info. if you want to know anything else/ask any questions feel free to pm me!
let me assure you that there is light at the end of the tunnel...as long as it may seem smile

NanaNina Sun 04-Aug-13 19:04:53

Hello Claire - I think auntycupcake has given you a great deal of very helpful information.

However if your DP is only agreeing to keep the baby for 8 weeks then you would be ruled out. The LA social services would not do an assessment of any kind on you I'm afraid. The baby is in a foster home and all kinds of assessments will be done to see if he can be returned to the birth parent(s) and if not then the LA will plan for him to be adopted given his age. It is of extreme importance that the baby is moved to a permanent family as soon as possible IF he is not to be reunited with his parents. I think you are muddled (unsurprisingly) about this 8 weeks business. The LA do have a duty to place a child in his extended family if the family are suitable. Due to your DPs view, you would not be considered suitable. Incidentally I think it is as well that your DP has stated his intention sooner rather than later, so that time is not wasted in assessing you. There will be approved adopters waiting on a list for a young baby, so there will be no problem placing him with adopters.

I would also have a concern that you have a baby of the same age, as your step-grandson needs to be the youngest child and have the full attention of adoptive parents, given that he has already suffered some form of abuse or neglect whilst with the birth parent(s) and suffering trauma in those early months can cause problems for the child as he grows up and especially in adolescence. Adopters will have been prepared about this and hopefully will be able to give him the permanence and stability he deserves.

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