MIL thinking of fostering teens

(6 Posts)
Mummy2MiaD Sat 20-Jul-13 23:12:05

I'm posting on behalf of MIL as I promised to help her look into it.
Basically she's been wanting to foster for quite a while but has no idea how it works.
Ideally she's looking at fostering teens or older children. She has two spare bedrooms they're quite small but more than adequate. It's just her living at home since her husband died 5 years ago and her son and daughter have moved out. Would it be a problem that she works? She works in a school so she's gone from 8 until 4 Monday to Friday but is off weekends and school holidays.
The school she works at is a specialist secondary school so she has experience of dealing with disabled children and Children who have behaviour problems.

I know the best thing to do would be to contact SS and the agencies for advice but was hoping to maybe get some advice from people with first hand experience of fostering?

CheeryCherry Sun 21-Jul-13 11:05:22

Look on your local council website, there will be a link there to explain the procedures. Most areas have more foster children than foster carers. It's a lengthy process to become accepted as a FC but hopefully well worth it.

Takver Sun 21-Jul-13 12:00:13

Don't have direct advice, but as well as regular fostering my ILs have also done respite care fostering of teens so if full time fostering isn't an option that might be worth her checking out too?

I do know that in the past when full time fostering my MiL did spend an awful lot of time in meetings, going to appointments etc but her foster son had SN so that probably increased the time spent (and I know she received a higher support payment to reflect that).

Its an amazingly valuable thing to do, good on your MiL.

AlphaBetaOoda Sun 21-Jul-13 12:21:13

Problems re working could be the volume of meetings and that teens may be out of school. Depends on how suitable the placement is though. In theory it should be matched up (with a long term placemejnt) in practice the lack of carers causes desperation.

Short term placements for children with disabilities are always needed too, they would be able to be concentrated in school hols/weekends to balanced out

Roshbegosh Sun 21-Jul-13 14:51:48

If she is interested she should look into it. The first meeting is informal and you can ask these sorts of questions. I think working full time might be a problem for her because you do get a call from school in the middle of the day saying the child is excluded, you do have meetings to attend - though they could usually be arranged for 4 pm so that might not be so bad. Thing is what would she do with a teen that refused to get up in the morning and she was stressed trying to get out to work. They might nick things too, smoke, drink etc. I really don't mean to sound negative because actually it is far more positive than negative but to foster alone and work full time might be too much, unless the child was going to school etc. Work would quickly lose patience if she kept having to take time off with short / no notice. It is easier when the child is there long term because you know them and know whether you can trust them home alone for any length of time but a teen suddenly coming to you that you know very little about might be difficult. I hate to point these things out and I hope she does look into to, there might be a niche, as some other posters have said, that will work for her. I do think you need to think these things through though and that is why I mention them. All based on my experience or the experience of friends. Don't forget, sorry again, the possibility of police stations at night and court appearances with troubled teenagers. I started this response thinking yes go for it, and I still think that but I probably sound schizophrenic.

Mum2lots Thu 25-Jul-13 01:25:59

Tell her to look at supported lodgings 16-21 years xxx

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