Would you take on a family members kids?.

(34 Posts)
lisad123everybodydancenow Sun 14-Jul-13 21:15:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Yonihadtoask Sun 14-Jul-13 21:18:58

I think I would if I had to. If no one else in the family was willing or in a position to look after them.

I think that Dsis expects me to have her DS if anything happens to her l(rather than he goes to live with his dad 100% of the time).

And I would be in the best position to look after him -re .space, time etc

mynameisslimshady Sun 14-Jul-13 21:18:59

I would take my brothers child/children in. I wouldn't take in a cousins/other extended family members child on.

My Mother did always used to tell me she was jealous of her friend who had custody of her grandchild (the parents were on drugs) then tell me she wished I was a druggie so that she could have my kids confused

morethanpotatoprints Sun 14-Jul-13 21:19:37

If I was able, and under the circumstances you list, most definitely.
I think if they are kept in the family especially with siblings or extended family it is good for them. Obviously, as long as all their needs can be met and it is acceptable to ss.

Yes, without hesitation.

lisad123everybodydancenow Sun 14-Jul-13 21:23:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AmandaPandtheTantrumofDoom Sun 14-Jul-13 21:23:50

Yes, my brother's children (not that he has any yet). Less certain about extended family. I'd have to balance it more carefully with the best interests of my own kids.

SoupDragon Sun 14-Jul-13 21:26:42

It is irrelevant as the only family children other than mine are now adults but yes, I would have taken them in.

TeWiSavesTheDay Sun 14-Jul-13 21:27:15

Yes. It is an expected part of my culture, so I grew up with relatives 'coming to stay' and the concept is normal to me. (disclaimer: they did generally go home again when things were better)

It would he very difficult for us right now though, the house would get very cramped and finances would be very difficult. Probably someone else more suitable would volunteer first.

coffeewineandchocolate Sun 14-Jul-13 21:31:56

my siblings children yes but probably not more extended family. I work with kinship carers and see how intrusive the agreement process is and how much it changes their lives on terms of family dynamics, contact, emotionally and financially...

expatinscotland Sun 14-Jul-13 21:33:50

I couldn't afford it.

SweetHoneyBeeeeee Sun 14-Jul-13 21:38:34

Absolutely, 100%, no questions asked. Probably naive but my sister was taken into care when she was young and noone stepped up to help her. It had devastating and (so far) lifelong consequences. And there are some bloody unsavoury characters in my extended family that I wouldn't want having responsibility for the unlucky kids, if I could help it.

I guess, a more generic answer would be- it depends what the alternative is

BrianTheMole Sun 14-Jul-13 21:40:41

Yes I would.

lisad123everybodydancenow Sun 14-Jul-13 22:53:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Beamur Sun 14-Jul-13 22:58:51

My Mum had this dilemma when I was a child, my cousin spent a great deal of time with us and the parents were having a difficult time. My parents were about to move away and my Mum wanted to offer to foster the child and take him with us but my Dad refused to consider it. My cousin stayed with his parents but had an awful childhood and left home at 14, is now an alcoholic and his life is generally a shambles. My Mum (and I) often wonder if it would have turned out differently if he had come to live with us instead. Very sad. I didn't have a perfect childhood, but I felt secure and loved and have turned out reasonably ok I think.

Flojobunny Sun 14-Jul-13 23:01:43

Yes. Without hesitation.

BeaWheesht Sun 14-Jul-13 23:05:17

Any of our nieces and nephews then yes - it helps that they're all the same ages as my children so not a massive age difference if that makes sense?

notanyanymore Sun 14-Jul-13 23:06:57

Yes definitely

Annunziata Sun 14-Jul-13 23:09:12

I have twice. You can PM if you like.

Yes. I was a child like that once. I wish someone had taken me in.

So I would do it. It would be hard. It would be tough. It would be a big struggle- for everyone, especially the child. But I would HAVE to.

Annunziata Sun 14-Jul-13 23:09:56

*questions

We took DH's (then DP's) 12 year old nephew to live with us three years ago, the same year we had a baby. It was hard and still is sometimes but it was clearly necessary and our moral duty.

TidyDancer Sun 14-Jul-13 23:14:24

Yes I would. I would take on the children of any of my siblings.

DP and I are named guardians in his half sister's will (he has three siblings, dsis is the only one with children) to take her two DCs in the event she and her DH both died.

Very difficult though. You have my greatest sympathy for the sad situation in your family.

Clearlymisunderstood Sun 14-Jul-13 23:15:31

Absolutely, I would have my niece if anything happened to my sister and I am a named guardian of my younger brother and sister if anything happened to both my mum and stepdad. Distant relatives whose children I don't really have a relationship with I would have to think a lot more carefully about.

XBenedict Sun 14-Jul-13 23:16:56

Yes I would take siblings children without hesitation, not sure about cousins, probably. Difficult situation for you OP.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now