homophobic comments on home visit

(7 Posts)
berocaboy85 Mon 01-Jul-13 11:57:31

we are a male same sex couple in early stages of fostering application. We had a visit from social worker and it was all going really well but when she asked about preferance for age, and how we would feel about a child with a disability, she commented "obviously we would be looking to place girls with you". My partner immediately (and maybe slightly agressivly) asked her to explain what she meant by this, why girls and why obviously - she stumbled with her words without any real explanantion then concluded the meeting rather abruptly and left! we haven't heard anything since!

we can't help feeling this has homophobic undertones along the lines of all gay men abuse boys or if a boy were placed with us we would somehow turn him gay sad

gallicgirl Mon 01-Jul-13 12:00:36

Perhaps worth seeking clarification on policies but in a neutral manner.
You might be the first same sex couple the social worker has dealt with but the choice of words isn't good.

charlie80 Mon 01-Jul-13 12:36:15

social services can be very suspicious even when its straight men and their own kids!!

sorry but you will probably experience this a lot if you go ahead with fostering or adopting.

good luck

lovesmileandlaugh Mon 01-Jul-13 15:59:06

I'm quite horrified by this! It isn't obvious to me at all why they would only consider placing girls with you. I have to say you should consider a formal complaint. That is an appalling statement!!

HerrenaHarridan Mon 01-Jul-13 16:05:51

Please follow that up with a formal complaint.

It's is your responsibility to challenge this so the next couple don't have to deal with this.

Fucking ludicrous, what an idiot! So what sort of child could a hetro couple adopt? confused

I'm sorry you've been treated this way. It's bang out of order. It sounds like you handled it well.
You did well for not keeping your mouth shut!

jojofun22 Mon 01-Jul-13 18:12:08

How rude of her... Defo find out why the comment was said. That is just so wrong.
Good luck in the future, find somewhere that treats EVERYONE equal like they should xx

NanaNina Mon 01-Jul-13 20:05:24

I am a retired sw and tm mgr of a LA Fostering & Adoption team (30 years experience in all) and I think this is appalling and it doesn't matter whether it was the sws first time assessing a gay couple, it demonstrates that her thinking is fundamentally flawed and that may be the dept's stance as well. This needs sorting and quickly and I think you should e mail the sw and his/her manager and ask what is going on and state that you are puzzled (always a good word to use when you mean WTF!!) as to why the sw mentioned only placing girls.

I'm sure you don't need me to point out that this is an absolute insult, confusing gay men with paedophiles. Horrendous, absolutely horrendous.

Never mind "homophobic undertones - I think it was patently obvious that this sw doesn't know what she's talking about and shouldn't be let loose on applicants. Please don't just accept this. Contact the LA (assume it is a LA) and ask what is going on.......

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