Short term foster carers adopting.....

(43 Posts)
threeandcounting Tue 15-May-12 14:16:22

Hello

I was wondering if any "short term" foster carers have any experience of keeping children who were initially placed with them, and would mind sharing your experience with me?

Many thanks

SkinnyMalinkiLongLegs Tue 15-May-12 16:20:03

We did. What would you like to know?.

threeandcounting Tue 15-May-12 18:18:09

How long was did you foster for and were LA positive about the adoption?
Just testing the waters and was interested in others experiences...! Thanks

SkinnyMalinkiLongLegs Tue 15-May-12 21:32:35

DD was 3 days old when she came to live with us. She was 10 months old when her SW told me that although she would eventually be adopted it was going to be a long process. We were told she would probably be with us at least another 18 months before her adoption.
At that point dh and I discussed adopting her ourselves. Our whole family had bonded with her.
We approached her SW soon after and told her we would like to put ourselves forward as adoptors. DDs SW and our FPSW were both very happy to support our application. The SW from the adoption team was not so happy but knew there was nothing she could do to stop us.

At this point the final care plan had not been finalised in court so we kept quiet about our plans. It was several months before the case came to court and the plan for adoption was approved. At that point DDs birth mother asked if we would think about adopting her daughter.

We were then advised to get a solicitor to advise us. We found a fantastic one who came out to see us and told us to put our request in writing to the LA. We hadn't been told we had to do that but he said it was a legal requirement. He didn't charge for his time. We would only need him if the LA didn't support our application. He said he would keep our file on hold until we had been approved in case we had any problems.

SkinnyMalinkiLongLegs Tue 15-May-12 21:42:20

Sorry posted to soon.

Anyway, our assessment got underway and it was brutal (don't think just because you have been approved as carers it is easier. It's not grin).

It took 10 months to finish the assessment. Then after several delays we went to panel 6 months later and were approved. I think because DD already lived with us the department were not in a hurry to finish our application which was very frustrating. We then had to take a break from fostering for 12 months to allow us to bond with DD confused. As she had lived with us from birth the bonding was very much already done but thems the rules.

We eventually adopted DD when she was 2.6. She is 5 now and we love her to bits. smile

bonnieslilsister Wed 16-May-12 22:23:21

threeandcounting I have pm'd you

TulipsfromAmsterdam Thu 17-May-12 12:28:20

Threeandcounting - I am very interested in this thread and hope you will keep us updated smile
SkinnyMalinki -- your story is lovely and very encouraging to foster carer's who may want to follow this route though I am very aware not all endings are as happy.
Our LA told us during training FC's are not allowed to adopt but I have also heard of many success stories so have an open mind and will see what develops for us.

threeandcounting Fri 18-May-12 10:37:50

Thanks everyone!

SkinnyMalinki-What a touching story. Can i ask how the adoption assessment process was compared to the fostering process? It is lovely to hear that it ended so well!

Tulips-We are in the very early stages, but it is something that we would love to do but not sure how the land lies with the LA (getting conflicting messages/hard to get any concrete info....but suppose thats just the way it normally is grin )

threeandcounting Fri 18-May-12 10:38:42

Oh, and sorry for the delay in replying......it's been a VERY full on week!

SkinnyMalinkiLongLegs Sun 20-May-12 14:44:51

The process was very similar to the fostering assessment in some ways. We had to have medicals (despite having recently had a fostering medical confused). Our finances were checked, we had to provide bank statements ect. They also asked for referees and visited all of them. They insisted on speaking to my DDs father despite us splitting up more than 20 years ago. Sadly he told DD he would be stopping us adopting. He then told the SWs a pack of lies about me being violent and not a fit person to be around children. Fortunately they saw through his lies.

As we were asking to adopt a particular child a lot of the assessment dealt with her. We discussed how we would deal with issues that may arise from her particular history. She has 8 half and full siblings so we talked about future contact with them. There is a history of severe LDs in her family so we had to say how we would cope if she were to have LDs. One whole session dealt with how we would feel if she were to be gay which we found a little strange.
The adoption team were very wary of us fostering after and alongside the adoption. We did have a bit of a battle to be able to resume fostering. A fantastic FPSW was our biggest help with that.
The whole process was dealt with as if we were adoptors only. None of our history as FCs was taken into account and everything was started from scratch.

I will admit we did go into the process a bit naively. We assumed that as DD had come to us at birth she wouldn't grow up with the insecurities that children who have been through the fostering system before adoption often have. I see now that the worries of the adoption SWs were well founded.
DD is very happy and a joy to be with. However, she can be very insecure. She constantly asks me if I will give her away if she's naughty. She needs to know where I am at all times and doesn't like change.

Do you have a child in placement that you want to adopt?.

holiday88 Fri 09-Nov-12 19:43:41

we are foster carers and been asked by the guardian and social workerif we would consider adopting the baby in our care we have notified the adoption people and have a meeting at the end of the month worried that they will not asses us .what questions will they ask etc any advice or help?

threeandcounting Fri 09-Nov-12 23:23:03

Hello

Holiday 88-not sure how much use I will be in answering your question as we are awaiting to start the assessment to become adopters for our lo.

We have the backing of lo sw, our ssw and LA, so hopeful that the process will not be too difficult hmm...however things seem to be taking forever!

There had to be a professionals meeting between the adoption team, lo sw and ssw (without us) to agree if we could even be considered, and happily they said yes grin

Before the meeting we had mettings with ssw and discussed things like how it would effect our other children, financial implications (due to space we will no longer be able to foster, and how we would mange this) etc...

I would imagine in your case that as you have approval from the guardian and sw this will go hugely in your favour. It would be great to hear how you get on, best of luck x

holiday88 Sat 10-Nov-12 18:43:06

thanks for answering threeand counting will let you know whether they will assess us fingers crossed.

plainjayne123 Wed 21-Nov-12 20:32:32

Our family finder SW said the adoption process has been considerably shortened and they are desperate for adopters. At the moment it is difficult to find adopters for healthy young babies.

holiday88 Wed 21-Nov-12 20:52:48

thanks thats really interesting.does anybody know whether foster carers are entitled to the equvelent of maternity pay and any other monies because i believe that we will have to stop fostering for a period of time and obviously that it is how i earn an income and dont want to be destitute!!

bonnieslilsister Wed 21-Nov-12 21:46:17

I wish holiday !! I think it is because we are "self employed" that we wouldn't be entitled to any maternity payment from the LA.

threeandcounting Wed 21-Nov-12 22:27:27

Don't think so holiday88

I think you could only claim child benefit and child/working tax credits if they would be applicable to your circumstances.

We are also going to have to stop fostering (spare room issue) but i am planning to go back to work when lo starts pre school and manage on dp's wage in the meantime!

scarlet5tyger Thu 22-Nov-12 19:49:30

I think if your LA are asking you to adopt a particular child then they will also negotiate some sort of pay package.

If they don't then shouldn't you be entitled to some sort of maternity pay from the government? I've never claimed it but have been told you're entitled to stat sick pay if you're ill (with sick note from GP) and would have thought the same should apply to maternity pay.

Interesting to read that it's hard to find adopters even for healthy babies ATM. My LOs adoption SW mentioned to me just this week that more FCs should put themselves forward for the children they have in placement rather than assuming that their LA will automatically veto it.

holiday88 Wed 16-Jan-13 19:52:03

quick update had meeting this week all positive and we are going to begin the assessment process very soon

threeandcounting Thu 17-Jan-13 09:22:44

Glad to hear it holiday88-let us know how you get on :-) we are about to start the assessment for our lo grin

LaurieBlueBell Thu 17-Jan-13 10:11:56

Good luck both of you grin

TulipsfromAmsterdam Thu 17-Jan-13 10:51:03

We are currently doing our adoption prep course and starting assessment soon. Good luck holiday88 and threeandcounting, keep us informed.

holiday88 Wed 27-Mar-13 18:14:10

hi everyone we have been to panel and now have a dd cannot believe it was all so quick

threeandcounting Thu 28-Mar-13 00:03:50

Wow, that was quick grin

We are currently going through the adoption assessment process and hope to be at panel possibly May/June and finalised in court by Sept/October.

Huge congratulations to you all, and best wishes for your future together! X

sheena111 Thu 02-May-13 15:40:53

hi. i am a fostercarer and would like to adopt a baby we had from a few days old. we informed all concerned parties in writing, and although the childs sw is happy but the adoption team seem to be not so keen but awaiting a meeting to take place.

in the mean time does anyone know if fostercarers have any rights in respect of adopting a child who has been with them for almost a year?

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