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Fostering

Who can be involved in caring for a foster child?

13 replies

weewhile · 01/03/2012 15:14

Hi,
I am about to employ a part time, live-out Mothers Help. She will mostly help me with our animals and housework, interact with the children, supervise and play with them,although not sole charge. I'll be at home to supervise when she is here.

We are going through the fostering assessment and hope to be approved by summer. But it has got me wondering, how involved can she be with foster children? Obviously, some interaction with the children is within her job description but I would like to know, just how much she can actuallly help me to 'look' after any foster child we may have?

I did ask the social worker this question, but she said she had no experience of this and that it was a 'grey area'. She added that there could be issues around confidentiality, but as she had never come across anyone with a mothers help before, she didnt really know.

Does anyone have any experience of this and can advise me?
Thanks.

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OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 01/03/2012 15:31

I dont know.
Sorry Smile

I think the 'mother's help' title is the sticking point. If she was a housekeeper it may not be such a complex issue.

Sounds like she would be a great asset to a foster carer tbh. You may have fc with complex and time consuming schedules and having built in support/ childcare for you birth children would be great.

Anyone who has significant contact with the fc would have to undergo assessment and I wonder how your prospective Mother's help would feel about this?

I know that childminders are allowed to employ help to assist with their mindees. Perhaps it would be worth looking at how this works?

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BusterTheDonk · 01/03/2012 16:29

I would have thought she would have to be 'vetted'/assessed by Social Services and at the very very least have a CRB done on her.

As an example, SS would need to know her parenting method, her views on punishment etc etc etc

I agree that it could be a huge benefit to both you & the LO's, but I agree with MrsD that the title could be hugely 'problematic' to SS - maybe think about finding a more suitable name? Having a housekeeper sounds much more acceptable I would have thought...

a little bit of Envy emotion... Grin

Good luck at panel x

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weewhile · 01/03/2012 17:43

Thanks. Forgot to mention that that ANY person who spends reasonable time in our home has to be re-CRB checked and interviewed by social services.

I was just wondering how much I should separate the contact between my Mothers Help and any foster child? The reason she wants to work with me is to gain a little experience in childcare under my guidance.

I will check out how childminders get around this problem with their assistants. Thanks

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Mrbojangles1 · 01/03/2012 19:54

Right I have been fostering for 6 years and I hope y ou don't mind me saying but I don't think panel will go for this at all

  1. Their is no way of knowing if your nanny will be ale to cope with the needs of a foster child after all if she wanted to foster she would be a carer and not a mothers help.


  1. They are most likey to question how much time the helper will be looking after the fc and your own child after all if she is doing all the careing then they might question why you want to foster



  1. I am sure you have already taken on bord for some foster children it will be highly distressing to have more multipl carers. Espiaclly as it seems she is not long term


  1. Confidentailty, you would be limited to what you could disclose about the child's background to this helper whilest at the same time exposing the helper to children that have all manner of issues AND IN SOME INSTANCES WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO LEAVE THE CHILD ALONE WITH THE NANNY FOR HER OWN SAFTey



Sorry to be rude but fostering IS NOT CHILDCARE OR BABY SITTING these children are highly damaged and i suggest she applies at at a school or nursery in that case
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Mrbojangles1 · 01/03/2012 20:02

Childminders have work experince girls because the parents are usually are on agreement and the courts are not usually involed


Also have you thought about what would happen if a child disclosed somthing to the nanny


I glad your sw is ok with this but I don't think this is somthing my la would go for espically as it seems to be some kind of work experince

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OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 01/03/2012 20:04

I wasnt envisaging (sp) the mother's help working with the FC at all tbh mrb

It would be great if it could be worked out. But I agree, I dont think the panel will like it particularly as there is unlikely to be a precedent.

I think all fc could do with a bit of live-in help. Grin

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Mrbojangles1 · 01/03/2012 20:21

That's what we are for to be live in helps



Unless you are planning to foster mum and baby's I just don't get it



I can see why you might want a cleaner so you can get on and play and spend time with the kids


But as for supervising play if your their why would she need to be one of our jobs is to make observations for sw as they can't be their all the time

The child's temperament, how they play if their acting in a sexualised way if their talking about their parents if so what ECt how they are after and before contact

You will be surprised what comes out over a game of Cludo


I still not sure what role this person could play



Do you mean a cleaner?

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OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 01/03/2012 20:58

Um ok.
Bye.

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LollyBobs · 01/03/2012 22:37

I think that it would be a concern - I would find it quite a difficult thing to get my head around if it was my assessment.

The reason being that if a carer felt the need to have a "mothers help" then I would be possible a bit concerned about whether she could cope with all the demands of fostering and of maintaining her existing family. ie: if she had somebody helping out with her birth children, should we really be putting more children in the household?

It wouldn't be an instant "no" to me, but I would want to look into it in depth.

However, if it was a housekeeper once a week or something to help with cleaning then that'd be fine so long as they were CRB checked and not left alone with the FC.

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weewhile · 02/03/2012 12:55

Thanks for all your comments. I will take some of it on board.
I will have another lengthy conversation about this with our SW when I see her next.
Just to clarify, I live on a farm and I'm also lucky enough to have a large home, so the person I employ will have a broad range of jobs to do. I had thought that she would mostly help out with housework and meal prep, however, there will be times when we are all together and I would not expect her to ignore ANY child that may be present. She is not a nanny and her job does not involve childcare, but she will work alongside me in the home.

I am planning to foster babies and we have separate accommodation for parent and child.

I did just wonder if anyone else out there has experience of the ins and outs of this?

I'll let you know what the outcome is.

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TheCrunchUnderfoot · 02/03/2012 13:00

Weewhile, I can't comment on your question but just wanted to say good luck and send my admiration for what you plan to do.

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weewhile · 02/03/2012 13:10

Thank you so much, 'TheCrunchUnderfoot'. All positive and constructive comments are gratefully received

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Mrbojangles1 · 02/03/2012 16:33

was not trying to be rude in any way just trying to be clear on what part the MH would be playing in any potential foster child's life

as you did say "The reason she wants to work with me is to gain a little experience in childcare under my guidance."


i think if she was just doing work around the farm but it was clear that you were looking after the children cooking their meals getting the ready and taking them to contact yourself ect , and that she wouldn't be left alone with the FC then i cant see a issue

but i don't think panel would go for paid help being back up carer they usually like this to be a close friend or family member.( if that's what you had in mind).


its good your thinking of mum and baby their is a real need for this type of placement.

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