Have no idea how much to spend on birthday/Christmas...

[em1883]

I currently have a foster son who has been with us for 4 months (today!), he is our first placement, he is 11 years old and I have no idea how much of a budget we should set for his birthday or Christmas? Anyone have any advice??

[ChooChooWowWow]

Do you get a birthday/ Christmas allowance. We get an extra weeks allowance to cover special events which for us would be £148. However, we spend around £250 each on our own dc so that's what we spend on the foster dc as well.
If he is your only child I don't think it matters what you spend within reason. As long as he is happy. If you have your own dc I just think it needs to be fair. Although I know several foster carers who spend only the allowance on the fc and much more on their own dc which really makes me mad.
On the other hand, my two long term fc get loads of presents from their family. The family insist they have to be opened on Christmas morning. So actually the fc have huge piles compared to my dc and the other fc.

Tis a bloomin minefield

[em1883]

He is the only child we have here so we can't compare with our own children, I've asked my mum what she used to spend on us but with inflation I'm not really sure what it would equate to, plus he definitely has bigger ideas than what my parents could have ever afforded... And what we can! We have an allowance which is £150 but we want to add to it, don't want him to be too spoilt either as he has a competitive nature. Thank you for your advice x

[PandaG]

I have my own 11 yo son. I would spend up to about £40 on stocking fillers (mostly books and things I would buy anyway eg deodorant, toothbrush, washbag, plus a few silly bits and pieces) and probably up to another £100 or so on main present.

Not a foster child I know, but just wondered if my perspective may be helpful?

[em1883]

I don't think it is different for looked after children or birth children we all want to make Christmas as special as we can without breaking the bank! Thank you x

[BusterTheDonk]

We get our Christmas Allowance which is one weeks allowance (£120) but I think I probably spend an xtra £100 or so each on other things...

It'll be their second Christmas with us (2 & 3 yo) and I am soooo excited.. already talking about Santa and looking at the Argos catalogue!!

I guess the older they are the more material they are and you don't want him to be receiving less than other kids at his school.... maybe if you have support groups/coffee mornings with other carers, you could ask them what is about right for an 11 year old??

Congrats on your first placement too... I hope you all have a fab time and just a gentle reminder to us all that Christmas can be particularly stressful for the fc's

[lechatnoir]

I would say £100 could buy any child (birth or foster) a a few stocking fillers and at least 2-3 really decent presents. I also then spend £20-30 on new PJs & slippers for Christmas eve which might be a nice touch.

[scarlet5tyger]

I have a dilemma because this Christmas I'll have 2 placements, both receiving a Christmas allowance of £100 which I think is plenty as they're both very young. However, one will also receive a HUGE amount of presents from parents whilst the other will receive virtually nothing. I'm tempted to make the difference up myself, but wonder if I should as they'll both play with each others toys anyway - or more likely, the boxes the toys came in!

[em1883]

I think when children are young (4-9ish) they pretty much look at how many rather than how much was spent etc, I remember sizing up my pile compared to my sisters! I can completely sympathise with your dilemma, will the child receiving presents from their family open them Christmas morning with you or on contact with their family?

[scarlet5tyger]

They'll open them at contact on Christmas Eve so I think I'll just sneak them home at the end of it and pretend they've always been there!

And the sizing up piles of presents doesn't stop at 4-9 - I still compare my (very small) pile with the kids even now!