Thinking about fostering..................

[LauraIngallsWilder]

Hi all
I am after a few years vaguely wondering, now beginning to think seriously about fostering when my own children are older.

I am particularly interested in temporary fostering perhaps of babies or respite care. Babies removed at birth because their mothers are drug addicts (and therefore the babies are addicted) interests me in particular

But as a newbie I am slightly clutching at straws.

How does it work out financially? (not that I would do it for the money obviously!)

I know that in my county there are only 2 placements available for temporary overnight stay (for teenagers) so I am assuming their is a local need for more foster carers?

Thankyou for your thoughts everyone! :)

[LauraIngallsWilder]

Thanks Sabine, that information helps a lot

Its not something I will be able to do for a good few years yet though!

Is the paperwork involved, just as voluminous as it is for childminding? - I am guessing it is.........

[LauraIngallsWilder]

Final question honest!
Is the paperwork for the actual day to day fostering voluminous too?

I have been totally put off being a childminder owing to the new 'rules' that came in a few years ago; the need to record the mindees almost every move etc

I understand the need for extensive form filling etc but I also find the prospect overwhelming!!!! Initial formfilling and meetings fine, some day to day records yes

But pages and pages of daily record keeping - arghhh!!

[mumsiepie]

No it is not like that but you will probably need to write a few lines each day, that is all, apart from reports prior to reviews. Nothing like what you need to write for child minding. I really love fostering and find it is so much better than childminding in that the child has a totally different relationship with you because you are totally there for them until they leave, instead of just keeping them safe and happy whil;st their parents are working....
I love it very much and I would encourage you to go for it when you feel the time is right. My children were 9 and 11 when I started and it was an ideal age to start. Good luck xx

[LauraIngallsWilder]

Awww thanks mumsiepie that is exactly what I needed to hear tbh.

Im grateful to you sabine for giving me some details of the "nuts and bolts" and you mumsie for confirming some of my preconceived ideas! - about the different relationship.
Im also relieved about the paperwork issue :)

[scarlet5tyger]

Hi Laura,

I've fostered a few drug addicted babies and can't recommend strongly enough that you wait until your own children are grown up. I had no idea what I was taking on with the first one but they literally run your life 24 hours a day for the first few months - I've had ones who can't stand to be put down even for a couple of minutes, who hate noise of any kind (even opening and closing a door can start a screaming fit that lasts hours), can't tolerate light (could you really expect your own children to live in twilight for 3 months???) and who fight against every feed you give them.

Of course, once they get "better" you get a huge sense of achievement but it can also be much much harder to let them go, particularly if they have to go back to the home environment.

Sorry to sound pessimistic - I'm enjoying the happy time of a post-drug addicted baby now and he's an absolute joy. I have no birth children though and don't think I'd have taken him on if I had had as I knew what was coming!

On the plus side - the paperwork's not too bad for a baby as most days are fairly similar! Contact on the other hand is likely to be daily...

[LauraIngallsWilder]

Hi Scarlet
Gosh your post is a real insight, but also what I expected! Tbh Im not going to be able to foster until my own kids are much much older anyway - due to various things in our own family - eg atm Im HEing both my children :)
I hadnt imagined daily contact visits with the potentially still drug addicted mother though! Do you have to trek to a contact centre or somesuch for that? And do you sit with the mother and the baby - or do you never meet the mothers?

[mumsiepie]

In our LA we drop off for contact and pick up but do not supervise the contact as a rule. Yes, you meet the parents when you hand over the baby/toddler for contact. They become the people in your life that you see everyday!! Some are friendly and some are not. I would say nearly all have been fostered themselves .........

Contact can be anywhere from parks to burger king! For babies I guess it is mainly social work offices, contact centres, hospitals and their home.

Contact is kept usually daily if there is any chance at all that the child is returning home for obvious reasons.

Good luck x

[maypole1]

in our la contact is strictly at the contact centre or the parents home if directed by the courts

[scarlet5tyger]

I meet my current placement's parents each day at a contact centre and we always have a chat about what he's been like, anything new he's done etc. I do sometimes supervise contact but hate doing so as it's hard to sit back and watch them doing things which, whilst not exactly dangerous, are certainly not the way things are done at home. In my experience drug addicted parents are the hardest to deal with as they blame absolutely everyone (including you) except themselves for the problems baby faces.

I'm lucky at the moment as this baby's parents are together but I've had other children who have twice daily contact as they have time with mum, then time with dad. Also you get to meet grandparents, siblings, even aunties and uncles!

[mumsiepie]

Burger King and parks are places my wee one and his many siblings all met with their parents 3 times a week. This was always supervised by social work. After about 4 months they began contact back at home.