Ocado Delivers Bag of Urine

(268 Posts)
noidsleft Thu 11-Oct-12 23:45:35

How should I take my complaint forward? A day ago I emailed my complaint to Ocado and they have not bothered to reply. Our last delivery started by the driver removing our bags of food from the back of the van. He then looked about, lent into the van and removed a bag of liquid which he threw down the side of our house. It landed in the middle of the pavment, he walked towards it and kicked it against the side of our house, where it slowly seeped urine down the pavement. This gentleman, has allegedly (I think that's what I need to add here) used the back of the Ocado van for his own private toilet, used an Ocado bag as a urinal (not what I thought we were returning the bags for)and nothing as soap water and a sink. Then handed over the shopping for my family. I have very good CCTV of all this, should I put it on You Tube and forward the link to Ocado and see if they reply, then?

HazeltheMcWitch Thu 11-Oct-12 23:49:06

You're joking, right?

CelineMcBean Thu 11-Oct-12 23:50:23


lisad123 Thu 11-Oct-12 23:51:40

I would email them again, explain you have CCTV and if you don't receive response by xx then you will assume they are ok with it being on utube!!

lisad123 Thu 11-Oct-12 23:51:55

I bet she's not joking!

NewNames Thu 11-Oct-12 23:52:33

....the fuck?

Solo Thu 11-Oct-12 23:53:45


essexmumma Thu 11-Oct-12 23:53:52

Hmm you should get free shopping for a year for this!! If true.

showtunesgirl Fri 12-Oct-12 00:01:34

WTF?! That's bloody Press worthy!

My Ocado men are always REALLY nice!

CelineMcBean Fri 12-Oct-12 00:04:08

Am I the only person to click the thread wondering what the hell was the substitution?

Op why did you not say anything to him if you saw him do it?

HardHittingLeafletCampaign Fri 12-Oct-12 00:06:00

You didn't order peas did you? They're terrible for substitutions,

FannyFifer Fri 12-Oct-12 00:07:53

How did u capture the moment on CCTV?

FannyFifer Fri 12-Oct-12 00:08:48

Would it not have been something burst in a bag like apple juice maybe?

noidsleft Fri 12-Oct-12 00:09:08

I saw the bag after the delivery and went to pick it up using a doggy bag as a glove thinking it was someones dog doo. But it was full of liquid and smelt of urine which was dripping out. Thats what made me look at the cctv to see where it had come from.

noidsleft Fri 12-Oct-12 00:10:47

I have 24 hour recorded cctv, 12 cameras, and no I didn't order peas.

Solo Fri 12-Oct-12 00:12:01

12 cameras?! shock

HoneyDragon Fri 12-Oct-12 00:12:12

I bet it wasn't Jesus in his cabbage van.

Do you get texts op. gives the name of driver too for youtube your complaint.

lisad123 Fri 12-Oct-12 00:12:53

Maybe she has a large house grin

NewNames Fri 12-Oct-12 00:13:23

Can we see the vid. I want a nosey at your gaff - must be nice for 12 cameras.

Nagoo Fri 12-Oct-12 00:14:41

Blatant placemarking smile

BettySuarez Fri 12-Oct-12 00:16:50

Good grief - have they responded?

HoneyDragon Fri 12-Oct-12 00:17:29

Yup, nevermind poor ops bag of piss. Straight to property porn.

Op do Ocado know you have proof? If so they must be mad to ignore you.

TerrorNotSoFrightened Fri 12-Oct-12 00:17:41

honeydragon I was going to ask if it was Jesus in his cabbage van grin

Firewall Fri 12-Oct-12 00:17:48

Oh my! I would definitely be giving their head office a ring. Then how about YouTube, watch dog... Environmental health!
I would be interested to see what their response is!

MonthlyChanges Fri 12-Oct-12 00:17:53

Copies nagoo

noidsleft Fri 12-Oct-12 00:18:39

We had 2 attempted break-ins, so yes lots of cameras. I don't know what placemarking is and no reply from Ocado.

HoneyDragon Fri 12-Oct-12 00:20:10

Means lots of people have nothing constructive to say but want to see what happens op grin

Ie place marking = nosey bugger

I was going to explain place marking not so as to mark my place or anything but Honey beat me to it.

<Sits down crossed legged and awaits video expectantly>

<Passes round urine wine>

CelineMcBean Fri 12-Oct-12 00:24:57

Was it Lou in the leek van?

HanSolo Fri 12-Oct-12 00:25:35

Sorry... if you'd said Tesco, I would have believed you!

HoneyDragon Fri 12-Oct-12 00:27:38

Lou in the leek van grin

Wouldn't Ocados have marrows? (they are big carrier bags after all)

HoneyDragon Fri 12-Oct-12 00:28:07

Oh just remembered its a courgette sad

SirCharles Fri 12-Oct-12 00:28:53

Watching with interest!

Nagoo Fri 12-Oct-12 00:29:50

Do they have a special colour bag for piss? Fresh is green, frozen purple piss yellow? It's been a while since I had an Ocado delivery.

MummifiedBonkeyMollocks Fri 12-Oct-12 00:31:17

Another place marker.

Must sleep!

HoneyDragon Fri 12-Oct-12 00:31:54

I once let the milkman puke in my bin.

CelineMcBean Fri 12-Oct-12 00:33:38

Is that a euphamism HoneyDragon? wink

EmBOOsa Fri 12-Oct-12 00:34:24

Um.. <insert something relevant and useful here>

fuzzywuzzy Fri 12-Oct-12 00:34:36

Have you told them you have CCTV evidence?

Ocado answer emails within 48 hours.

Call them?

EmBOOsa Fri 12-Oct-12 00:34:47

ps. why is this in the food section?? confused

SadPunk Fri 12-Oct-12 00:37:01

Is it only me wondering how a flimsy ocado bag would even hold urine, unless it was ties at the top, but surely that would be tricky manoeuvre confused.

HoneyDragon Fri 12-Oct-12 00:39:33

Only in the same way as the piss up the ops alley wink

It was 5am and he was a very poorly milkman. He recollected his milk snd went home sad

Emboosa which topic should it go in?

AIBU to put this dirty bastard on YouTube?

Ethical Living ..... What to do with unwanted waste from shopping?

WWYD about dirty scrote Ocado drivers

Tbh, this is the kind of op that can go anywhere grin

DameFannyGallopsAtaGhost Fri 12-Oct-12 00:42:46

Don't all carrier bags have small holes at the bottom to make it harder to suffocate children?

Or did he double-bag?

steppemum Fri 12-Oct-12 00:44:17

never mind youtube, you should contact the daily mail, grainy cctv photos spread across the centre pages.

difficultpickle Fri 12-Oct-12 00:45:03

Maybe it was double bagged? That's what they tend to do for heavier items.

I'm surprised the OP didn't call Ocado:

"Hello Ocado how may we help?"
"Please would you arrange to collect the bag of piss I didn't order"
"May I have your address so I can deduct the bag of piss.I'll also mark your account for future reference that you are not a piss taking customer."


grin bisjo!

CelineMcBean Fri 12-Oct-12 00:54:10

But still possible DameFanny? If one puts the effort in? wink

How strange! I would be ringing environmental health and probably contacting the press if I didn't receive a satisfactory explanation from Ocado. Thought I can't imagine what a satisfactory explanation would be. confused I really hope you were mistaken!

Notafoodbabyanymore Fri 12-Oct-12 01:16:14

I really want to know how this turns out. Also, please let us know if you do upload CCTV footage onto YouTube so I can have a stickybeak and a giggle give you my expert opinion.


berri Fri 12-Oct-12 01:53:19

Funniest thread of the day <sorry op not helpful, I know>

Def Daily Mail material though!

2MumsAreBetterThan1 Fri 12-Oct-12 02:03:17

Have you told them you have it on CCTV? Bet that will make a big difference.

FreddieMercurysEnormusPumpkin Fri 12-Oct-12 06:58:23

It was wrong of the driver, but I feel a bit sorry for him tbh. I wonder if he has the time to make toilet stops. I let the Tesco lad use my toilet before and he was so apologetic and grateful, he told he he'd get told off for stopping at a garage and just didn't have the time to do so anyway.

BettySuarez Fri 12-Oct-12 08:01:51

Second thoughts, don't upload to You Tube, that would be really unfair on the delivery driver who probably had no choice sad

It must be awful actually, having no access to loo!

kekouan Fri 12-Oct-12 08:05:55


HoneyDragon Fri 12-Oct-12 08:09:25


He had the choice to lob a bag of piss in a bin didn't he? Not down the side of a customers house?

Lot and lots and lots of people drive for a living. They are allowed to stop to use the toilet.

OcadoAnnie Fri 12-Oct-12 08:14:55

Hi @Noidsleft, Annie here from Ocado. I'm so shocked by your post and really want to look into this as soon as possible. Your email will be in the queue waiting to be opened but we definitely want to pick it up straight away! Could you give me the reference number that should have been sent back to you in the automated response? If you can't find that, the order number will be fine too. Hope to hear from you soon. Thanks.

SkeletonButterfly Fri 12-Oct-12 08:19:19

Place marking now grin

SirSugar Fri 12-Oct-12 08:19:55

This is getting even more interesting

poachedeggs Fri 12-Oct-12 08:22:33

Sticking to Tesco I think grin

BigBroomstickBIWI Fri 12-Oct-12 08:25:13

Is this the wee equivalent of the poo troll? hmm

This is why I love MN grin

ClaimedByMe Fri 12-Oct-12 08:26:54

I've had some iffy subsititutions from tesco but i'm glad it's never been a bag of wee!!!

twofingerstoGideon Fri 12-Oct-12 08:27:07

Wonders if OP will ever come back...

SaraBellumHertz Fri 12-Oct-12 08:29:44

You feel sorry for the driver??? Seriously?!

I want OcadoAnnie to let us know the findings of her investigation grin.

CelticPromise Fri 12-Oct-12 08:31:24

<marks place>

Excellent Friday morning thread grin

sashh Fri 12-Oct-12 08:31:46

put a link on twitter with #idon'tshopatocardobecause

HairyPotter Fri 12-Oct-12 08:33:02

Yes OcadoAnnie you need to update us as well. Tis the law you know.

HarlettOScara Fri 12-Oct-12 08:35:06

I used to be very jealous of you all with your Ocado deliveries. Now, not so much. Don't feel so bad about Tesco now where every widdle little helps.

LeeCoakley Fri 12-Oct-12 08:35:36

Hahaha. Great start to a Friday morning. grin

I'm trying to think what it could have been a substitute for

whattodoo Fri 12-Oct-12 08:37:46

Oh my!

I fleetingly wondered about the logistics of peeing into a carrier bag, then decided I should wonder about something else instead.

ocadoAnnie do you often get these sort if complaints?

Catsu Fri 12-Oct-12 08:38:03

The milk and more man pissed against my garden fence. Unfortunately I don't have CCTV so couldn't prove it (even though I saw it with my own eyes), so can well believe it has happened.
Dirty bastards

OcadoAnnie Fri 12-Oct-12 08:40:14

whattodoo - No, I can categorically say that we don't! That's why we're so keen to investigate straight away.

NormaStanleyFletcher Fri 12-Oct-12 08:40:29

I thought it was going to be a compost heap accelerator for those whose dp won't wee in the black bin for them

(shamelessly marking place)

Valpollicella Fri 12-Oct-12 08:40:33

Marking place. OcadoAnnie howd you stumble accross this?!

SunshineOutdoors Fri 12-Oct-12 08:41:18

Shameless placemark

Did you know wee is sterile
<any excuse to place mark, and Tbh I'm not convinced I believe that>

bulletwithspookybatwings Fri 12-Oct-12 08:43:57

Wee is sterile until it comes into contact with air or carrier bags I believe smile

readyforno2 Fri 12-Oct-12 08:44:45

Another one shamelessly marking place

getrealandgetalife Fri 12-Oct-12 08:47:30

its more worrying that people who dont have cameras are ignored! does this mean that we have to put cameras up everywhere on our property, on our cars, on our KIDS and on ourselves so that we are believed when someone wronged us?

what kind of a world are we living in?

12 cameras and a delivery man that pisses in a bag is just the start......

smalltown Fri 12-Oct-12 08:48:45

So he stopped driving, parked the van, got into the back, peed into a large floppy carrier bag & somehow tied it up so it didn't leak?
Everyone knows men you pee against walls see milk & more driver smile or into bottles. Carrier bags aren't used for liquids, as they don't contain them.

I have boys who always need to pee in the most dangerous safari park enclosure possible, so I'm officially an expert on car pees

MaryZed Fri 12-Oct-12 08:51:41

Did you join especially to tell us about this? Or have you name-changed, and if so why?

Just wondering, like smile

<marks place> smile

OcadoAnnie Fri 12-Oct-12 09:05:35

getrealandgetalife - We'd take this just as seriously whether or not there were cameras, don't you worry about that!

MaryZed Fri 12-Oct-12 09:06:38

Well done to Ocado for being on the ball, btw smile

noidsleft Fri 12-Oct-12 09:09:24

Yes I did mention I had cctv of him removing the bag and throwing/kicking it etc. 48 hour reply is normal but I though a compaint of this nature may get a quick response. I was very very angry on the day and this norning noticed a stain on the egg box, may just be water but it brings back the anger. I have been advised against putting video on Utube due to the data protection act. I may need to block out his face etc.

You have emailed them. You have told them you have cctv.

If you want to be on the safe side, you could email again and tell them that this footage will go viral in 15 minutes unless you get a satisfactory reply.

I would also inform Waitrose, as I reckon they did the delivery on behalf of them?

Then, link on Youtube, let us know, I am sure we would like to share it on facebook and twitter......

MaryZed Fri 12-Oct-12 09:13:49

Well you have had a very quick response on this thread. Have you sent OcadoAnnie the reference number that should have been sent back to you in the automated response, as she asked you an hour ago?

twofingerstoGideon Fri 12-Oct-12 09:15:09

I would also inform Waitrose, as I reckon they did the delivery on behalf of them?
Waitrose and Ocado are entirely separate companies. Waitrose does its own home-delivery service, which is completely different.

OcadoAnnie Fri 12-Oct-12 09:16:18

Hi again noidsleft, our emails come through to our agents in chronological order so unfortunately we wouldn't know your email was urgent until we'd picked it up. However, our IT geniuses have managed to go into the queue and have traced your email. Somebody will be calling you shortly.

How did you know it was urine, and not say white wine? You didn't smell it did you?

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Fri 12-Oct-12 09:17:41


Valpollicella Fri 12-Oct-12 08:40:33
Marking place. OcadoAnnie howd you stumble accross this?!

Valpollicella, most large companies (that deal with the public) today use social media snipers, it is a service that flags up to them if their company name is mention anywhere across forums, twitter, facebook, etc.

Nagoo Fri 12-Oct-12 09:25:23

The op said she did smell it.

I did a little snigger at "stain on the egg box"

Oh, I think OcadoAnnie is very on the ball tbh but I also want to know how she found the thread? smile

boredandrestless Fri 12-Oct-12 09:27:42

Eeeeuuuw! Gross.

OhDeerHauntingFENTON Fri 12-Oct-12 09:30:53

If I worked for Ocado and saw this thread I would absolutely alert the relevant colleague to get onto it pronto.

OcadoAnnie Fri 12-Oct-12 09:34:29

Valpollicella and MissBeehivingUnderTheMistletoe, we do scan sites for mentions to see where we can help our customers, but I also used to be on Mumsnet quite a bit a few years ago to help where I could.

That is horrible! I have nothing further to add. Apart from I would LOVE to see your house!

MummifiedBonkeyMollocks Fri 12-Oct-12 09:36:19

shock Do we have our own MN Ocado customer service? shock

OatyBeatie Fri 12-Oct-12 09:38:00

I wish I was called OcadoAnnie. It sounds very jaunty. I picture her bursting into the thread like a cowgirl in a 60s western movie bursting through the saloon doors, all gingham and wholesome singing.

Felicitywascold Fri 12-Oct-12 09:38:59

grin. I don't know why I am enjoying this thread as much as I am. But a great start to Friday!

Pinot Fri 12-Oct-12 09:39:02

I'm just laughing at OcadoAnnie. Sorry.

Is this a wind up?

OatyBeatie Fri 12-Oct-12 09:39:44

I'm pretty sure Ocado and many other companies monitor places like MN quite carefully., just like they do with other social media.

Felicitywascold Fri 12-Oct-12 09:39:55

<almost certainly Pinot>

Oh don't spoil the fun Pinot!

Pinot Fri 12-Oct-12 09:40:40

Sorry blush

Get back to work OcadoAnnie! Supermarket shoppers NEED YOU! <cracks whip>

NewNames Fri 12-Oct-12 09:40:50

OP has probably gone to work and won't come back until tonight. Annoying!

Pinot Fri 12-Oct-12 09:41:31

Aha, yep.

NewNames Fri 12-Oct-12 09:41:49

Oh yes, they do. They monitor everything. Very normal.

MummifiedBonkeyMollocks Fri 12-Oct-12 09:42:15


Could OcadoAnnie be the OP in disguise~?

MaryZed Fri 12-Oct-12 09:43:07

No, OcadoAnnie is real - I've seen her before. She's a bit like Olivia, sent out to smooth the wrinkles when people have got pissed off with Ocado.

The op, now, I'm not so sure grin. It seems odd to join mn at 11.30 at night to post a thread like this.

Pinot Fri 12-Oct-12 09:43:10

NewNames grin hahahahahahahaaaaa

DameEnidsOrange Fri 12-Oct-12 09:43:46

When I was working in IT for a bank that is now often slated on here, they were working on software that would search for mentions daily so they could respond to any negative PR pronto - given they were taken over by Santander, they damn well needed it

MummifiedBonkeyMollocks Fri 12-Oct-12 09:44:42

Ah, <waves to OcadoAnnie which btw, seems wrong to shorten!

Me thinks the OP is taking the piss ! grin

Takes bets thats been done already and I have missed it

MissVerinder Fri 12-Oct-12 09:45:27

Oh my days, place marking shamelessly!

Mintyy Fri 12-Oct-12 09:45:51

OcadoAnnie - nice to see you again. I was a little bit disappointed you didn't pop up on my recent thread whingeing about the Ocado packing tbh, but I know you can't be here 24 hours of the day grin.

Well, I had a busy day planned but I can see that being decimated by the need to stay near the pc and refresh this thread!

BobblyGussets Fri 12-Oct-12 09:49:15

Piss in a bag? Whatever will they be delivering next?

My money is on a turd in a hotdog bun, boak.

A bag of piss, piss in a bag. The mind boggles.

I used to work for an IT company and part of what they did was train peolpe in other companies to search/respond/use social media and other websites in this way.
It helps to alleviate negative publicity and happens on other sites such as MSE a lot (as in a representative from the comapny being moaned about popping up on a thread to help.)

Narked Fri 12-Oct-12 09:51:40

I was very impressed with Ocado's own fruit and veg - Waitrose quality at normal prices. I didn't get a bag of urine though.

hermioneweasley Fri 12-Oct-12 09:52:11

I can't wait for the update on this. I thought that AIBU about not allowing a bloke to take a wazz in the mornings was the best wee related one in ages, but now we get this!

DinosaursOnASpaceship Fri 12-Oct-12 09:54:34

<marking place>

imperialstateknickers Fri 12-Oct-12 09:56:00

Place marking.... I'm going to get bugger all done today aren't I?

ethelb Fri 12-Oct-12 09:56:35

OcadoAnnie often turns up on threads like this. Except the time I had a problem with Ocado angry.

Haemadoots Fri 12-Oct-12 09:56:41

Shameless place marking

PrettyPrinceofDarkness Fri 12-Oct-12 09:57:56

Pfft! All I got was a little booklet as my welcome pack.

Maybe it depends on wher you live. Are you from Staines OP?

Was it organic?

ClaimedByMe Fri 12-Oct-12 10:00:55

Am I the only one dissapointed that we wont get to see the cctv video now??

Poor OcadoAnnie I bet she didn't see this one coming!

OcadoAnnie Fri 12-Oct-12 10:01:56

Well, I hate to abandon you but we've got it all in hand now so I'm going to quietly go back out through the MN saloon doors.

I just snorted coffee up my nose at that Shriiieeek

I am finding this very amusing which is probably what the OP doesn't want to hear.

NewNames Fri 12-Oct-12 10:02:27

I wasn't being sarcastic Pinot! smile

janey1234 Fri 12-Oct-12 10:02:38

But we want to know what happens!

MummifiedBonkeyMollocks Fri 12-Oct-12 10:02:42

If your a bloke, why would you piss in a bag?

I mean, maybe if you were a woman then it could possibly be done, but as a man, you would have to dangle your cock in the bag, hold the bag with both hands (otherwise it would just lop and spill) and then tie it without too much spillage. D'yknow what i mean? confused

A bloke just wouldn't do it!

Surely its just much easier to piss out the window if the fancy took you?

BoiledEggandToastSoldiers Fri 12-Oct-12 10:03:26

Maybe I won't use my £10 discount voucher.

O&hhh the mental images

Ahem <clears throat> Paging noids noids come back and tell us what happened PLEASE!

MummifiedBonkeyMollocks Fri 12-Oct-12 10:05:02

I would find shit in a bag more believable!

<never thought I would say that!>

MaryZed Fri 12-Oct-12 10:07:17

I suspect if the op doesn't return, we can assume this was a pile of piss grin

notjustamummythankyou Fri 12-Oct-12 10:08:17

Love the Western reference! I hope ocadoannie tipped her hat as she went, and rode off into the dust. Job done.

PostBellumBugsy Fri 12-Oct-12 10:09:18

arf @ Mummified trying to work out why a bloke would piss in a bag & the logistics of how he'd do it!!!!! grin

I bet it was not human piss.

It was special Ostrich piss. Extracted from Organically reared Ostriches at the foot hills of Himalaya, cared for and sampled by thoroughbred Sherpas dressed in organic cotton. Used to heighten sex drive and fertility, packaged in mother of perl vials. Delivered to your house by Ocado.

I bet a shipment broke, and he just emptied the spills on your house. If you are careful, your house will now mulitply and you will get a small guest annex next door. Take good care of it smile

noidsleft Fri 12-Oct-12 10:13:07

I think thanks to MN, I have had a timely phone call from the head of customer services, and an email from the CEO, I think it's only fair to update you all. They are taking this very seriously, they are not happy and are investigating further. Obviously they need to get a view from both sides.

WandaDoff Fri 12-Oct-12 10:13:16

Nosy fucker coming through.

noidsleft Fri 12-Oct-12 10:15:45

I should add the customer services gentleman was nice, very apologetic and and concerned.

MummifiedBonkeyMollocks Fri 12-Oct-12 10:16:57

I bet he did it and is smurking right now! grin

I am sure that driver will be getting his P45 today.
I am sort of wondering if I should offer the van drivers use of our tradesman's loo in future?

I'm praying Ocado have CCTV in the back of their vans so we can suss out the logistics of the bag widdling

MummifiedBonkeyMollocks Fri 12-Oct-12 10:19:01

MissBeehiving No need I sussed it! grin

shesariver Fri 12-Oct-12 10:19:24

Yep he will be dining out on this story for years!

ihatethecold Fri 12-Oct-12 10:23:43

Please update on the findings. This thread has made me laugh so much this morning.

P.s I still love Ocado!

TinyDancingHoofer Fri 12-Oct-12 10:25:53

Nosey bugger here...

Marking place. Is this too late to make Roundup? Great thread, thanks OP grin

Aspiemum2 Fri 12-Oct-12 10:33:21

12 cameras is a bit excessive is it not? I'd just get a dog I think hmm not that I have anything worth nicking anyway and any burglars would be foiled when they tripped over all the baby toys, washing and general crap on the floor

Interesting story though, odd for the driver to dump the bag at a delivery address (that just happened to have CCTV) and not just chuck it out the window as he was driving or pull over and pee in a bush hmm

Arithmeticulous Fri 12-Oct-12 10:34:40

Those Ocado bags are of a superior quality to the Tescos ones.

Baaartimaeus Fri 12-Oct-12 10:37:03

Am I the only one who reads OcadoAnnie as AvacadoAnnie ? confused

My first thought was why didn't the bloke just piss up a tree hmm but very good point about not dumping it at a delivery address. Maybe he was hungover and not thinking straight? or maybe OP has pissed him off previously ans he did it deliberately

DameFannyGallopsAtaGhost Fri 12-Oct-12 10:42:12

«awards WandaDoff the medal for most honest placemarking on the thread so far»

MardyBra Fri 12-Oct-12 10:51:05

It it wasn't Lou in the leek van, maybe it was Dick in the Pee Pea van.

RinderThrillerNight Fri 12-Oct-12 10:51:08

leaks leeks Lurks

EmBOOsa Fri 12-Oct-12 10:51:37

So this is real?? shock

HeadingHome Fri 12-Oct-12 10:56:19

I need to know the outcome... [placemark]

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney Fri 12-Oct-12 10:59:03

Very glad you came back noids to update us, thanks, glad they are taking it seriously for you. The CEO really????? Wow. The power of Mumsnet huh? Bet they're thinking "that's our key market, throw everything PR at it NOW" grin

I do feel a bit sorry for drivers in general who can't even stop for a pee, my friend worked briefly for Tesco.com and said their expected schedules were unreal, esp where we are in rural land delivering to farms up tracks etc.

But I feel no sympathy whatsoever for this bloke. Couldn't he even look for a bin??? Gross gross gross.

It's faired cheered my morning up tho, all the comments, and the image of gun slinging, driver lassooing ocadoannie swinging into action.

Will offer the loo to my Asda chap later, I think !!

LFCisTarkaDahl Fri 12-Oct-12 11:00:11

Whatever the outcome of this for the mumsnetter I want Ocado to really take note of how they incentivise their drivers to get to the customer on time.

It's a sad state of working culture if in order not to lose pay they have to pee in a bag (due to traffic or stuff out of there control).

People don't pee in a bag out of choice unless they're a loon so that leaves shoddy working practices as the explanation.

LFCisTarkaDahl Fri 12-Oct-12 11:01:44

I have a total delivery pass and buy all my shopping from Ocado (about 5k a year) so I'm going to be emailing or trying to find out working practises.

ArtfulAardvark Fri 12-Oct-12 11:02:54

"Obviously they need to get a view from both sides."

hahahahaha....with 12 cameras I would imagine they can get it from as many angles as they like!

ArtfulAaadvark gringringrin

DameEnidsOrange Fri 12-Oct-12 11:16:55

LFC makes a very good point about the pressure that drivers are under

QuenelleIsOrangeAndGoldForNow Fri 12-Oct-12 11:21:03

tak1ngchances you have a tradesmans loo?


[missing point of thread]

Ocado and the bag of piss, surely this has to be one of the best threads ever - perhaps up there with the cheap minge one.

OcadoAnnie - loving your work. We got our Kiddizoom camera this week at your bargainous price. Glad we didn't get a bag of piss though. Had one of, actually no, had the nicest ever grocery delivery driver so we were vair vair impressed.

Marking place in the hope that OP returns to fill us in on the outcome <nosey emoticon>

whistlestopcafe Fri 12-Oct-12 11:27:33

I'm loving this. grin

If the OP and OcadoAnnie are the same person it's the best trolling I've seen in ages!

I have no idea whether it is for real or not and I'm usually quite good at sussing them out.

I wish I had 12 CCTV cameras not because we live in a bad area or are isolated and at risk of burglars but because I'm a nosey sod and could spy on the neighbours

travellingwilbury Fri 12-Oct-12 11:32:52

Can we really not see the cctv footage ?

What a very odd carry on.

SkivingAgain Fri 12-Oct-12 11:33:09

I've never had an Ocado delivery, but if it was tesco it would stay on your favourites list forever.

TheCunningStunt Fri 12-Oct-12 11:40:07

Don't supermarket bags have small holes on the bottom and sides?? Or are ocado bags superior and piss proof??? grin

QuickLookBusy Fri 12-Oct-12 11:41:07

I complained on here about Ocado, this week.
Mind you, it was only because they put raw minge mince in the same bag as my salad.

Not in the same league as pissing in a bag.

OhDeerHauntingFENTON Fri 12-Oct-12 11:44:46

Of course it's for real, OcadoAnnie is a real person who really works for Ocado and wears her pants on the outside I suspect.

I will think of this every time I get an online grocery delivery now, every time, especially when I click the box "please deliver my groceries in bags" and when I order peas, or leaks.


QuickLookBusy Fri 12-Oct-12 11:48:22

It's been a bad week Fenton. What with peas and leaks from Ocado and cheap minge.

I sticking to chicken this weekend.

OhDeerHauntingFENTON Fri 12-Oct-12 11:52:28

Best you do QLB, chicken is cheaper than minge at Tesco's at the moment anyway.

ihatethecold Fri 12-Oct-12 11:53:25

Cheap minge!

Iheardthatpardon Fri 12-Oct-12 11:54:13

Did you get minge in your Ocado delivery?


QuickLookBusy Fri 12-Oct-12 11:56:22

Here is the cheap minge thread ihatethecold.


QuickLookBusy Fri 12-Oct-12 11:58:58

Yes I did IHeard.

It was on offer.

Buy 3 get 1 minge free.

Oh I've just found this.
I wonder if I can use my 'contacts' (by that I mean family and friends that work there!!) to use and find out who it was.

PLEASE tell me that you got the message that tells you who is delivering!!

And before you ask, it wasn't my DP. He's been on businesses in London all week.grin

PrettyPrinceofDarkness Fri 12-Oct-12 12:07:53

Quenelle I'm so glad it wasn't just me that picked up on the tradesman's loo. I'm in awe. Either you have a shed load of work being done to your house or else you must be incredibly posh.

WitchesTitWhistles Fri 12-Oct-12 12:09:02

Wants more updates. Wants more OcadoAnnie.

Got quite enough cheap minge, thankyouverymuch grin

BobbiFleckmann Fri 12-Oct-12 12:09:11

Ocado bags are indeed superior quality to tesco and sainsbury's ones which justifies my annual delivery fee right there. As OcadoAnnie could probably tell you, I have never ordered bin liners as the Ocado ones don't have holes in them & don't rip, but DO biodegrade (& colour coded). Hurrah for the Ocado piss bags.

I wonder whether Posh Tim Steiner is going to issue all his drivers with Ocado branded wee bottles now? shewees for the few lady drivers?

Iheardthatpardon Fri 12-Oct-12 12:29:37

We have a Summer loo, old cobwebby outdoor loo from when house was built that kids refuse to use which doubles as tradesmans loo for delivery drivers.

ihatethecold Fri 12-Oct-12 12:33:42

Thanks for the link. Very funny!

I'm really not getting on with doing anything today cos of mumsnet

UltraBOF Fri 12-Oct-12 12:40:54

I wonder what colour bag they use for wee?

Trills Fri 12-Oct-12 12:42:27

This isn't as good as the pouffe of poo.

smoothieooo Fri 12-Oct-12 12:49:58

So funny! Another one here awaiting news of how Ocado will deal with pee-in-a-bag-and-dump delivery man!

BlathersNightOfTheLivingDead Fri 12-Oct-12 12:51:02

shock And I thought it was bad when I caught the postman spitting on my path!

ethelb Fri 12-Oct-12 13:18:31

How do they know it is wee? My first thought was something that had split or defrosted.

IvantaOuiOui Fri 12-Oct-12 13:28:36

Do all supermarkets have an Ocado Annie equivalent on Mumsnet ? Sainsburys Sue? Tesco Mary?

Trills Fri 12-Oct-12 13:31:03

They don't, but they should do.

Social media etc is important, and replying to someone complaining on MN is much more visible than just replying to an email. The customer gets good service and everyone sees them getting a good response.

BlathersNightOfTheLivingDead Fri 12-Oct-12 13:34:16

Maybe I'll start a thread about how shit Whirlpool dishwashers are and see if they do anything?

<looks scornfully at once more broken contraption>

Slaymill Fri 12-Oct-12 13:38:06

slight derail on thread

Does anyone know of the Head of Customer service email or CEO. I have a complaint not piss related but H&S issue !

Its to with cleaning product spillage in the same bag as baby items and intial phone & follow up email having been very very poor and dimissive.

So either call out to OcadoAnnie or anyone else with information

thanks... as you were

Trills Fri 12-Oct-12 13:39:02

Presumably you could send a PM to OcadoAnnie and she'll see it when she is next on.

TempusFunghi Fri 12-Oct-12 13:41:25

I have a question for OcadoAnnie - can you request to not have a specific driver? Mine are all lovely with exception of one who I found a bit starey and creepy. Dh has said if this guy is delivering again to ring him and he will be home at the same time.
<disclaimer : this man has done nothing specific and was perfectly polite but I felt uncomfortable so the problem lies with me rather than him I think>

MrClaypole Fri 12-Oct-12 13:43:38

Shamelessly marking thread for update!

SkiLift Fri 12-Oct-12 13:46:30

marking and scenting.............. grin

Also marking...

PelvicFloorClenchReminder Fri 12-Oct-12 13:50:46

If there is a sainsbury's Sue, I have some issues over here. Sue? SUE??

Right, that's my place marked with my legitimate reason for lurking grin

SkiLift Fri 12-Oct-12 13:51:55

pmsl @ Sainsburys Sue grin

Tesco Tracey?

nbee84 Fri 12-Oct-12 13:52:07

Shamelessly marking place grin

MaryZed Fri 12-Oct-12 13:52:34

Poor OcadoAnnie.

She will log in tonight for a bit of innocent bumsex and her in-box will be innundated with Ocado complaints grin.

I hope she doesn't get her name-changes mixed up.

QuickLookBusy Fri 12-Oct-12 14:05:14

Slaymill I complained about a similar thing to Ocado this week.

Raw meat put in the same bag as ready to eat stuff. I wasn't happy with my response from their team. They basically said like it or lump it, that's the way we do it.

I think mixed packing is just lazy. Sainsbo don't do it apparently. Not sure about the other supermarkets.

Slaymill Fri 12-Oct-12 14:09:58

Very annoying isn`t it Quick ? They packed one bag with a six pack of crisps. The bag in question had all my baby products plus cleaning soda which leaked.

Interesting Sainsbury don`t do it might need to jump ship if Ocado gets worse.

OcadoAnnie should be OcadoOlive. Annie should be AsdaAnnie, it just sounds right

IvantaOuiOui Fri 12-Oct-12 14:17:21

What I love best about the Sainsburys deliveries is that the driver bends down and presents you with each bag, handle held out to you. As a person who gets dizzy bending down this charms me every time. Other supermarket drivers stand there scaratching their bits on my step.

EleanorBloodBathsket Fri 12-Oct-12 14:24:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hugandroll Fri 12-Oct-12 14:24:31

Wouldn't happen here, you have to pay 5p for carrier bags, he would have had to piss on the floor, or presumably, the side of the op's house.

Felicitywascold Fri 12-Oct-12 14:24:32

Tescotessa? As well surely.

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney Fri 12-Oct-12 14:25:38

Oh god.

As said earlier, I asked my very nice Asda delivery man if he needed the loo or a hot drink (it is PISHING doon here today, windy, really miserable weather).

He looked scared shock and said no, no, it was fine he was off to meet his WIFE for lunch soon ....

So I will now be marked down as saddo housewife who propositions the delivery drivers blush blush blush bet he asks to be taken off the Friday run .....

Slaymill Fri 12-Oct-12 14:25:45

I know the reason they don`t send the same driver it`s so you don`t get pally with them as they have the power to refund items.

I had a weird driver who first words to me : Have you got a dog... Answer : not the last time I looked. Man was dog phobic though he acted scared and literally threw the bags at me in case I lied confused

Faverolles Fri 12-Oct-12 14:26:20

Also shamelessly marking place.
Loving OcadoAnnie. Supermarket Superhero - special powers - sensing Internet injustice and sweeping in to right wrongs.

QuickLookBusy Fri 12-Oct-12 14:30:14

Ivanta that would put me off my food, all that scratching.

Slaymill I agree. I had one bag full of raw meat with a packet of sliced ham in the middle of it. Then another bag full of salad, tomatoes, butter and in amongst it a packet of raw mince. Why wasn't the mince with the raw stuff and the ham with the fridge stuff? It doesn't make any sense.

And I would not want baby stuff in with cleaning products. Very silly.

ThatVikRinA22 Fri 12-Oct-12 14:32:05

shamless place marking ahoy....

ive not had a home delivery for a while but thats one hell of a substitution....i wonder what the Tesco man would have done.

IvantaOuiOui Fri 12-Oct-12 14:42:26

My cat got into the Tesco van once. Didn't wee on anything though (I hope).

Faverolles Fri 12-Oct-12 14:43:58

Vicar - if the Ocado man did it in a bag, the tesco man would just louse out and do it on your doorstep!

Iheardthatpardon Fri 12-Oct-12 14:47:27


Rooble Fri 12-Oct-12 14:50:21

Slaymill I had to make three consecutive complaints about three consecutive deliveries, in each of which cleaning products had leaked and damaged dry goods (eg flour). Their response was only ever to refund the cost of the damaged dry good.
The fourth time it happened I think (normally v mild-mannered) must have displayed a little irritation to the driver as I had a call from customer services before he'd reached the end of the road.
But I couldn't accept any offers of recompense , have promised to never ever shop with them again so will never find out if they've improved. Except that reading your post it is clear, 18 months later, that they absolutely have not.

straighttohellymelly Fri 12-Oct-12 14:51:40

I do think this wins the prize for the best thread title this month-or possibly ever.

imperialstateknickers Fri 12-Oct-12 14:52:27

<wanders through thread whistling casually and trying not to stare too obviously>

FlibberdeGibbet Fri 12-Oct-12 14:56:43



Ocado bags are good (i use them for bagging used cat litter), but I would have thought that there would be some sort of seepage from liquid.

i have a lovely conversation about the best strong white flour for home breadmaking with my last ocado delivery man.... please say it wasn't him!

Have we had lidllil yet?

Shed post very fast then everyone would have to move across to another thread to actually discuss what she said grin

Onken Fri 12-Oct-12 15:06:11

lidllil - grin

There would be 'no' carrier bags there unless you wanted to pay for the piss. Actually I wonder if lidl man would buy his bag to piss in (10 pence I believe) of if he just rumages for a cardboard box to piss in.

Static Fri 12-Oct-12 15:16:45

honeydragon TerrorNotSoFrightened My first thoughts went to Jesus in his cabbage van too!!! ...I am now singing the Robbie Williams song with Jesus in a cabbage van. I know what I'm going to be singing all evening!

I'd be going absolutely crazy if that was me! The fact that they've not responded beggers belief. Out of interest... Did you order directly through Ocado or was it Waitrose? (Just trying to think of another avenue)

No reply to the initial email? Is it time to upload to youtube and send them the link (also here too please!!!)

QuickLookBusy Fri 12-Oct-12 15:20:05

Static, I think you may have missed a few pagesgrin

OcadoAnnie is sorting it. Do not fret.

QuickLookBusy Fri 12-Oct-12 15:20:29

and we're all waiting for an update

noidsleft Fri 12-Oct-12 15:46:02

Two days on and the anger/shock has subsided, I hope the driver doesn't lose his job but I do hope he doesn't deliver here again. I am still waiting for the head of customer services to call back, but I have been in the underground on and off today so maybe he has tried. I am otherwise happy with Ocado and am expecting a delivery in a couple of hours, cameras rolling.

Has anyone ever seen OliviaMumsnet and OcadoAnnie in the same place at the same time? shock Just sayin' like

whattodoo Fri 12-Oct-12 16:18:33

What happened to the eggs?

OatyBeatie Fri 12-Oct-12 16:26:22

ROFL at LidlLil. She'd just drop fag ash all over the thread tell us all not to be so choosy, with our fancy piss-avoiding ways.

OatyBeatie Fri 12-Oct-12 16:28:03

Then she'd cop off with AlAldi.

BrainSurgeon Fri 12-Oct-12 16:45:32

<holds sides> Definitely a classic.
OP I'm impressed by how serious you are, this is a flipping hillarious thread.
Please keep up posted with today's delivery....

Geordieminx Fri 12-Oct-12 16:57:49


BrainSurgeon Fri 12-Oct-12 17:14:25

OMG the minge thread grin <cries>

notanotter Fri 12-Oct-12 17:26:25

What area are you in NOIDSLEFT?
< awaits Darren in the onion can with outstretched arm from behind a closed door>

whatinthewhatnow Fri 12-Oct-12 17:26:28

toomuchmonth grin grin at the asda man running scared from your advances.

TeaOneSugar Fri 12-Oct-12 17:47:32

I shall be watching Peter in the Apple van very closely, he's due at 6:30.

HairyPotter Fri 12-Oct-12 18:05:27

Ahh feck! I'm at swimming with a gaggle of 9yr old. They keep asking why my shoulders are shaking and tears are running down my face! grin

LidlLil!! <clutches sides>

toomuch you hussy! shock Poor delivery driver will be terrified if he ever comes again, bet he tells the other drivers about you and you get an offer from one though ... grin

pretty please, put it in classics MNHQ? Go on... Pleeeeeeaaase!

nannyl Fri 12-Oct-12 22:27:07

marking place

halloweeneyqueeney Sat 13-Oct-12 01:34:45

"I would find shit in a bag more believable!

<never thought I would say that!>"

grin agree on both counts

PoppyScarer Sat 13-Oct-12 02:17:12

Great thread.

The postman once crapped in our toilet. It was a special delivery we could have done without, to be honest.

DH and I wondered if he did it every morning, at a different house.

We have since moved.

Very funny!!! Have to say our Ocado drivers are great most of the time - though Waitrose ones are even nicer, smile.

Waitrose also seem to manage to pack the bags properly, which Ocado seem to have great difficulty with - we have had bleach with baby food too and I think I am yet to receive a complete carton of eggs.

Interested to see how this pans out......

needsomesunshine Sat 13-Oct-12 05:03:02

The Argos man had diarrhoea & didn't flush. That was truly disgusting

BlathersNightOfTheLivingDead Sat 13-Oct-12 07:52:12

The Tesco man is due here between 8.25 and 9.25. Hoping for no bags of piss!

BikeRunSki Sat 13-Oct-12 08:07:12

Is there a difference between Waitrose and Ocado?

twofingerstoGideon Sat 13-Oct-12 08:23:54

Yes BikeRunSki. Ocado sells some Waitrose products, but is a completely separate company and has nothing to do with the John Lewis Partnership.

noidsleft Sat 13-Oct-12 09:14:42

We received our next delivery yesterday which was to include substitutions and missing items, I was caught by surprise as the delivery driver turned out to be one of the senior management, and he had gone shopping beforehand to source
the missing items to complete our order. This delivery however also contained an extra unordered Ocado bag, I was relieved to discover it contained two very nice gifts from Mark Bentley who had phoned earlier. A little time later Mark called again, we had a good chat for over 20mins. I think Ocado have dealt with this remarkably well, we are happy and surprised how passionate they are about the company, It has been like dealing with a small family concern.

Nagoo Sat 13-Oct-12 09:18:15

I think they only put chat threads in Classics, which is a shame, since I like the funny ones where they are easy to find.

Nagoo Sat 13-Oct-12 09:18:58

oooh good service OP smile

needsomesunshine Sat 13-Oct-12 09:25:47

I feel a bit bad for the delivery driver now. I hope he doesn't get the sack. They need to sort out this issue for drivers as it seems to have happened to quite a lot of us but don't know what. I rmbr how awful it was getting stuck in the snow for 6 hrs last year. Everyone was so desperate. Must be awful on a daily basis..

noidsleft Sat 13-Oct-12 09:36:23

needsomesunshine just google 'bumper dumper', it's the perfect solution.

Iheartpasties Sat 13-Oct-12 09:37:17

yikes, what a tale. thank fook you had cctv.

IvantaOuiOui Sat 13-Oct-12 09:37:24

Lovely service - what gifts did you get? <nosey>

SaraBellumHertz Sat 13-Oct-12 09:38:37

Did ocado accept this had happened [Shock]

ggirl Sat 13-Oct-12 09:39:12

oooh what were the nice gifts ?

postman once spent nearly 30 minutes in my neighbours loo....we think he may have been pleasuring himself shock , no smell of poo when we investigated afterwards..was v strange

RoxyRobin Sat 13-Oct-12 09:58:00

We have a lane at the the rear of our houses which is regularly used as a loo by the caught-short of both sexes. You can actually smell the urine on a hot summer day. Drives us mad - especially my neighbour who has extensive filmed footage of the culprits at it.

I spotted one of the binmen having a pee a while ago and saw red. I complained to the council but did worry a little about the repercussions. Hopefully just a slap on the wrist (or willy) and a warning not to do it again.

Not having the strongest of bladders I do feel some sympathy. A few more public loos might help.

noidsleft Sat 13-Oct-12 10:10:22

The solution bumperdumper.com/bumper2.htm

Ocado are looking into it, interviewing the driver etc. and wish to see
the cctv. There are obviously a number of possibilities of what has
happened here, not just the obvious one I thought of.

NewNames Sat 13-Oct-12 10:44:47

They're being nice to you because you've put it on the Internet. They clearly weren't fussed before you did, you said so yourself.

I bet they're glad you don't have a high profile twitter account or something

MaryZed Sat 13-Oct-12 11:15:31

Do you think they should fit one of those to every Ocado delivery van grin? Imagine the protests of Disgusted of Suburbia at that.

needsomesunshine Sat 13-Oct-12 11:47:25

Your joking right noids? Do you not think a urine bottle might be a little more discreet?

Ahem maryz I don't think Ocado are looking into the BUMPERDUMPER, I think they are looking into the whole situation.
Which is totally freaky weirdo loopy as it is, without adding in a truck-mounted outside loo.

I have read some pretty odd things on MN. Real life is very tame in comparison

ChristineDaae Sat 13-Oct-12 22:09:38

Sorry OP but this thread really cheered me up tonight! smile

hardasfuc Tue 14-Oct-14 17:56:47

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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