MN is full of rude and opinionated people

(35 Posts)
AnnaLiza Fri 07-Dec-12 19:40:43

I'm going to delete the app from my phone and try to forget about this poisonous forum for a while. It may do me good and I might even find the time to read a book for once.
Before I go I would like to say that I strongly despise all those posters who:
- hijack threads because they feel the need to open a debate over something you're not even asking about in your OP. e.g. If you ask advice on how to (not whether to) do cc. You just can't do that on MN because a whole army of harpies barge in to say you will fuck up your child if you do. Did I ask their opinion? I don't think so. But they won't go away.
- accuse me of being a shitty parent and tell me things like "shame on you" but expect me to take it all in my stride because I asked AIBU? Erm, no...I'm prepared to be told I'm being unreasonable not that my DS is going to grow up a fucked up teenager because I'm a shit mother!!!
Basically I've been depressed all day more than once because people are so shitty on this website. Other times I've sought advice and haven't managed to get any without people being judgey and digressing like on the cc topic.
Sure there are lovely people on here, but I feel there are far too many of you MNers who are just saddos who moan and don't complain and take out your frustrations by swearing at people on here.
Well I won't be one to take the swearing anymore.

Greensleeves Fri 07-Dec-12 19:43:59

Your thread title is entirely true

Your OP is a load of self-indulgent rambling crap though.

ISeeThreadPeople Fri 07-Dec-12 19:45:25

I do hope you can find good real life support.

MN isn't all bad. It isn't even mostly bad. It just isn't for you. That's fine. Good luck to you.

QODRestYeMerryGentlemen Fri 07-Dec-12 19:47:36

Not even vaguely familiar with your name, I think people take it a bit too personally, I've been here yonks and mama aged to get by quite nicely!

QODRestYeMerryGentlemen Fri 07-Dec-12 19:48:01

Mama aged of course means managed!

"DS is going to grow up a fucked up teenager because I'm a shit mother!!!"

"Well I won't be one to take the swearing anymore."

hmm

The basic problem you've encountered is that there are some parenting principles on which 90% of MNers agree. Piercing children's ears is one. Controlled crying is another. You will only ever get a flaming on these topics if you agree with the practices. And the reason for that is simple - they're cruel. So why on earth would you expect NOT to be flamed?

The best thing about MN is that people don't tell you what you want to hear, they tell you what you need to hear. They tell you the truth.

If you want people to agree with you no matter what weirdness you choose to spout, try Netmums.

TheNebulousBoojum Fri 07-Dec-12 19:49:36

Is it really just the one thread that's put you off the whole site?
Perhaps it is for the best, there are a lot of teachers on MN and you may be avoiding much future grief and distress for yourself.

BahSaidPaschaHumbug Fri 07-Dec-12 19:49:36

Wise decision. This place isn't for everyone. Hope you manage to find the support you need somewhere out there. Farewell and good luck!

FanjoTimeMammariesAndWine Fri 07-Dec-12 19:52:42

Calling people "saddos". Are you 14? hmm

madwomanintheattic Fri 07-Dec-12 19:53:17

Um, technically speaking, if you asked 'Aibu', you did ask for their opinion.

Other than that, I have no clue about that of which you speak, as I have never seen you around these parts.

Maybe avoid Aibu? That seems to work quite well for those that don't want abuse?

There are a few things that are controversial. Cc is one of them. The others are faily easy to spot, too.

But, horses for courses and all that. Tis a free world. Post elsewhere if it makes you happier x

JaquelineHyOnChristmasSpirit Fri 07-Dec-12 19:53:19

Yes there are some rude and opinionated people but that's life isn't it?

If it has depressed you so much I would agree MN is probably not the best place for you or at least for now.

I hope you get the support you need in real life.

Pozzled Fri 07-Dec-12 19:55:39

Good luck. I do hope you manage to solve the issues with your DS's teachers, I'm sure it would be a good thing for everyone involved.

LadyIsabellasHollyWreath Fri 07-Dec-12 19:58:56

I've been on a long recent CC thread which went swimmingly - entirely supportive, polite and co-operative. Nobody accused anybody of being a bad mother even once.

But yes, rude and opinionated is kind of MN's modus operandi. If that's not for you, then it's not for you.

JaquelineHyOnChristmasSpirit Fri 07-Dec-12 19:58:59

Annie please can you supply the research evidence that backs up your claim of the 90% of MNers agree to certain things being cruel.

I have been on MN for 7 years and can not remember ever being asked to complete this kind of research.

If of course you have plucked this statistic out of nowhere based on the limited number of threads you have seen on the topics mentioned then please to put a disclaimer in your posts.

usualsuspect3 Fri 07-Dec-12 20:01:20

I am rude and opinionated, sorry about that.

MisForMumNotMaid Fri 07-Dec-12 20:02:09

I haven't seen your CC threads but I think I understand what you're saying. Sometimes life is very tiring, i'm supposing if you're on cc threads this is one of them. Any directed negativity is painful - especially if you are putting hand on heart and asking for help. Online communication can appear quite aggressive and people write things that in most instances they wouldn't dream of saying to your face.

I think this is why some people have requested a hide poster button so if you find someone's opinions contrary to your own, in a non constructive way, you can make them as a virtual person disapear from your virtual world. I stepped back for a while a couple of years ago after I realised that I felt bruised by a series of trolling threads that I felt I'd missed something on.

I've gradually drifted back. As you acknowledge there are lots of lovely posters and lots of good advice to be had, amongst those just out to be contrary.

I must be in the 10% hmm who feel CC works.

I hope you're able to get through this period and are soon to enjoy a good nights sleep. That helps put most things in perspective.

petitfiloser Fri 07-Dec-12 20:03:00

are you serious op?

Disclaimer - my 90% statistic is based on my own personal experience of 5 years on MN and the responses I have seen on threads covering the topics of children's ear piercing and controlled crying. Similar statistics appear to apply to threads on circumcision. It's a bit like Friday night bumsex and Fruit Shoots. Some things just *are on MN. There's little point trying to change the collective hive mind. Opinions expressed in this post are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the average Mumsnetter.

Strawhatpirate Fri 07-Dec-12 20:03:49

O dear. Well good luck with everything.

Right. I fucked up that bold good and proper, didn't I? Ooops, no swearing in front of the OP.

NagooHoHoHo Fri 07-Dec-12 20:07:51

I have had some amazing support on MN.

Even when I asked if I should let my baby cry.

I like swearing smile

I hope you find the forum for you OP.

BeataNoxPotter Fri 07-Dec-12 20:08:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LynetteScavo Fri 07-Dec-12 20:13:07

Good Lord don't start an AIBU!

Viviennemary Fri 07-Dec-12 20:14:29

I don't swear but I'm sometimes rude though I don't usually mean to be and I'm often opinionated. But some subjects such as this cc which I presume is the controlled crying is a touchy one. I've seen threads on dealing with crying babies that have been really helpful with lots and lots of suggestions of what worked for different people. I think there is a lot of good and helpful advice on MN and a lot of kind people.

JudithOfThePeaceAndGoodwill Fri 07-Dec-12 20:18:12

Life is full of rude and opinionated people and therefore, so is MN.

If you care to look for it - or sometimes, even when you're not looking for it - life is also full of kindness, generosity and genuine friendship. The same is true of MN. I read a thread today that made me cry because it was so full of kindness and support for an MNer who clearly needed it.

If you ask AIBU - either in real life or on MN - you will get answers you don't like. If you have cause to seek help on the parenting or mental health threads for example (as I have) then you are more likely to find a sympathetic ear.

PolterGoose Fri 07-Dec-12 21:13:38

AnnaLiza, I think you're being a tad unfair, have looked at your posting history and it seems pretty obvious to me that you have received and given support to others during your time here. Maybe have a break and a name-change?

dawntigga Fri 07-Dec-12 21:19:28

::Opens the door of the shiny red huff mobile to let the OP in::

Proud to be loud and opinionated and sometimes rude if called for.

OffYouGoThenTiggaxx

germyrabbit Fri 07-Dec-12 21:22:42

you do need an exceptionally hard skin to persevere on this site but it's worth it if you can bring yourself to keep at it wink

i don't like the swearing much myself either if i am honest grin

germyrabbit Fri 07-Dec-12 21:23:03

thick skin not hard skin

BOFingSanta Fri 07-Dec-12 21:23:58

I'm sorry you feel upset and low at the moment- maybe taking a break is for the best. Perhaps you'll come back when you're feeling stronger and can see more of the positives, because there are many.

Good luck and have a nice Christmas smile

ouryve Fri 07-Dec-12 21:24:39

bye.

Lougle Fri 07-Dec-12 21:25:26

Ahh, don't see it as an exit, see it as a revolving door smile

Pantofino Fri 07-Dec-12 21:29:13

Yes - people are rude and opinionated here. And very kind and loving and giving, and unselfish, generous and rude and opinionated. And funny, and thoughtful, and witty and humorous and plainly mad, and rude and opinionated. And wise - whatever you are thinking of - someone already did it. So when you are ungrateful for their advice, they come across as rude and opinionated.

I love it here me.

ScooseIsAChristmasBauble Fri 07-Dec-12 21:49:24

Bye my love hope you get the help you need smile

AIBU is not the place for a calm, non confrontational debate about cc hmm

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