It was fun while it lasted

(98 Posts)

Especially the Christmas bargain thread. I learnt a lot there. Thank you Reastie and JerseySpud. I have also loved the Baby Name topic and Style and Beauty.

I joined up after my beautiful darling daughter was born. She is now one and today we go to her first settling in session at nursery. Next week I am back at work. Mumsnet has helped me retain my sense of identity, for the most part I have loved it.

However having just been told off by someone who says they have been here for years and apparently I had committed a newcomer crime , I think it's time for me to log off and bid MN farewell.

I hoped MN would be a forum of support, not people trying to assert seniority over others. It is something that happens a lot across the chat boards and I find it very petty and immature. It's like dealing with 13yr old girls at high school. It's a shame because this long time MNers versus newcomers is spoiling an otherwise excellent site.

Goodbye, I wish you all well.

PrimalLass Thu 28-Aug-14 10:22:26

Noooo, don't let them win.

thereturnofshoesy Thu 28-Aug-14 10:26:08

wow drama lama
your leaving cos someone told you off

ok

RobinSparkles Thu 28-Aug-14 10:26:36

What newcomer crime did you commit?

I love MN but sometimes the old timers can be so up their own arses! I say that as somebody who has been here 8 years ish.

Don't let one silly poster put you off being here. You're right in that MN is great for support, don't let one arsehole ruin it for the whole bunch!

thornrose Thu 28-Aug-14 10:29:23

What is your newcomer crime?

AuntieStella Thu 28-Aug-14 10:30:11

Using the Christmas topic appropriately is important though.

The longish thread also running points out why, and recognises that newbies won't know about it (any more than they'd automatically know about the MN Secret Santa).

Thread policing is pretty rare on MN. The only other one I can think of (that works) is the moving of pregnancy chat into Antenatal Clubs, so the Pregnancy Topic isn't swamped.

But if yo don't like even that very light touch, then you are right to go. I can't think of any less moderated sites than MN so have nothing to recommend as a place that might suit you better. But I hope you find the sort of place you want.

Pagwatch Thu 28-Aug-14 10:33:33

Blimey. You are leaving because a poster was irritated with you?

The post you are composing about wasn't horrendously rude and it did try to explain why Christmas is difficult for some.

I think you are being incredibly thin skinned and using 'old timer vs newbie' is nonsense.

Pagwatch Thu 28-Aug-14 10:34:25

* complaining* about..

PrimalLass Thu 28-Aug-14 10:37:40

Actually I have looked back and you are being ridiculous.

"Using the Christmas topic appropriately is important though."

It really isnt though Auntie Stella it really isnt.

It might be important to a few people but not everyone. Its the same people who complain about it every year. Ive been here 7 years and it actually signifies Autumn beginning when I see those complaints.

Mind you OP, if you want to go, go, thats what Flouncers Corner is for!

Really? Someone in a forum of thousands of women from all walks of life said something you don't like so you're flouncing? Do you really expect everyone on here to be naice and lovely like some fantasy universe? We're real people, some nice, some absolute bitches. Would you run away from a job if someone made one unpleasant comment? End a friendship, change your child's school?

Leave if you feel you must but if you have otherwise found MN to be supportive, it seems to me you're cutting off your nose to spite your face.

MirandaWest Thu 28-Aug-14 10:40:08

If you want to stay then stay. If you want to go then go. You are an adult and can decide what you want to do. I don't notice old timers being horrid to other people but maybe I am just in a bubble of my own (I have also been here for years though, just going about my own business)

LEMmingaround Thu 28-Aug-14 10:43:56

There are some cunts on mnet - just like real life. It's why i love it so.

Clearly you haven't been to aibu -best not eh?

MirandaWest Thu 28-Aug-14 10:47:05

I've read the thread in question now and would agree that the poster who you are feeling was being an old timer and was telling you off was trying to explain in a sensible way why having a Christmas topic that people can hide is an excellent idea. If this has made you want to leave Mumsnet that is as I said your decision but there are ways in which people could be lot more mean and this IMO was not one of them.

ZoeWannaBaker Thu 28-Aug-14 10:47:17

Hang on a bit a rethink it.

I think that other poster was actually explaining it quite gently and diplomatically. She wasn't saying 'tut these newbies nothing' she was saying 'it's understandable if you didn't know this'

I don't see it as an ticking off.

ZoeWannaBaker Thu 28-Aug-14 10:49:11

Whereas I on the other hand should flounce immediately as I can no longer type apparently.

AuntieStella Thu 28-Aug-14 10:56:27

Nothing on a chat forum is that important.

And the Christmas topic is unimportant to a few people, but not everyone and you can see this by the annual autumnal gripes when reminded to play nicely.

But it's a considerate habit, and one worth maintaining (and which MNHQ do act on).

Especially when it's still August.

NamesNick Thu 28-Aug-14 10:59:28

what..is someone trying to cancel christmas??

let me at em...grin

Yes, it's probably a good idea for you to leave OP.

You weren't told off, you were told that for some people Christmas is a very painful triggering time of year and it would be better if discussions about it stayed in the Christmas topic that people can hide. You weren't even the OP of the thread. Instead of saying "I'm sorry, I didn't think" you said "Bah Humbug," blustered excuses and are now flouncing.

Not a great loss tbh.

magpiegin Thu 28-Aug-14 11:01:06

I just read the thread and she was being diplomatic. In my opinion you're acting like a child, someone pulls you up on something and you spit your dummy out.

I am a relative newbie - been here around 3 years now and I don't see too much of the behaviour you have described OP but I do find the comments you are reacting to a bit snarky.

I feel your pain. I can cope with the bitches and the cunts. It's the holier than bloody thou that drive me mad. It is a ticking off. Honestly making excitement about Christmas (or at least sharing your excitement in the high traffic board) a moral crime on a parenting forum is just weird.

I have no time for hidden rules and 'in the know' and the poster bouquet is responding to does sound a bit head girly to me...

^Do feel free to report your own thread and ask MN to move it for you, they're very accommodating and it will stop you getting lynched discussing Christmas on the main boards in August!

There are actually some very good reasons that it's just not 'the done thing'^

I picture a cross between Bridget Jones' mum and and the vicar's wife....

NamesNick Thu 28-Aug-14 11:07:58

is it possible that OP is just in need of a bit of 'stroking'

sometimes shit just gets you down, stay bouquetofpencils thanks

dont let one comment negate the good stuff.

I can understand why there are certain topics for certain things. ..

But LtEves that's not the order - she was told 'it's not the done thing' which to me is just snotty.

She said 'Bah humbug' jokingly and got a very stern, pince nez response.

If the initial grumpy post had SAID 'do you mind moving this to Christmas, that topic was set up because some people find it a really hard and triggering time' but she didn't. She quoted, quite cryptically, 'some very good reasons that it's just not the done thing'

Bowlersarm Thu 28-Aug-14 11:09:53

Just had a read, and actually I can see why you are cross about it. It was a bit head girl-like from another poster.

But I don't think it's a flouncing matter.

If you feel you've got to go though, then you've got to go.

NamesNick Thu 28-Aug-14 11:10:17

oh no she di'ant

this isn't going to end well

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