I was right the first time

(96 Posts)
FanjoForTheMammaries Wed 06-Mar-13 22:33:25

Yet another thread about not sitting your kids beside the children with SN in school.

I left after the panto thread and was much happier in general but missed a few people so came back.

Wrong decision.

Don't flame me..this is not attention seeking or wanting to be persuaded to stay. I won't. mN is not for me.

Just wanted to say bye to the nice folks, who will know who they are.

And explain why I'm off, in case anyone wonders later.

Adieu thanks

FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 07-Mar-13 21:36:05

Have to say..the reason why I am nit totally gone is the good guys are doing a totally sterling job on the late child thread. Very heartening. And you lot of course.

And this elastic on my leg wink

dothraki Thu 07-Mar-13 22:11:33

Fanjo - I hope you stay. Hecate - excellent post. I try to avoid reading some of those threads - but honestly - we should be challenging them - or at least reporting them. Whatever you decide good luck & watch that bloody elastic on your leg grin

RubyrooUK Thu 07-Mar-13 22:29:54

Sorry you're off Fanjo. I didn't see either of the threads you mention but I'm sad they made you feel so shit that you're off.

Because actually I've found some lovely supportive people posting on MN in my time here. And I like to think the kind of cocks who post horrible things about people with SN are the kind of people I'd hate in real life anyway, so I generally just feel sorry for them that they're so consumed with being small minded and prejudiced.

So it's a shame to see someone with sense leave rather than an idiot.
On the other hand, I've heard Mumsnet is non-compulsory so obviously you don't have to hang around.

Good luck. X

lougle Fri 08-Mar-13 00:01:02

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Maryz Fri 08-Mar-13 00:03:56

You won't go.

You can't go.

Things are improving. They might be slow but they are. The first bus pram/wheelchair I ever posted on had about half and half pram and wheelchair supporters. The last one only had two people determined that pram users had as much right to be there as the wheelchair.

It is changing. Slowly, but it is. And if everyone goes who is prepared to stand up it will be slower.

So hop off this thread, and go back to being arsy grin

FanjoForTheMammaries Fri 08-Mar-13 00:18:11

Lougle...someone said it yesterday on the general thread about issues with MNSN. (plentyofsomething? said people argue with AIBU posters and give MNSN a bad name, then whinge about it and flounce, so she ignores them). And others said it after the panto thread. I'm sorry, I didn't word it very well, I didn't mean to lump you all together n a homogenous mass and imply all posters on MNSN thought that..but it was hard to read and did seem to fit me.

I didn't see any dissenting voices, so being sensitive sort that I am I assumed people were in agreement, so I felt unwelcome. I didn't mean you though, definitely smile

Mary..how dare you call me arsey <squares up> winkgrin

FanjoForTheMammaries Fri 08-Mar-13 00:23:39

I went back to quote the post but it was deleted (it formed part of the controversial post about PDA). A few people said after panto thread that people getting too heated was giving MNSN posters a bad name too.

I was heated on that thread (not swearing or personally attacking but upset) so felt a bit paranoid about that post.

That is what I meant. You and others have made me welcome before though so I am sorry I didn't word my post more clearly last night, I was extremely upset in general.

coff33pot Fri 08-Mar-13 00:26:07

dont go smile

I know its horrid and that post quote made horrid reading but all you can do is put your feelings accross and hope that it may hit a nerve of someone less ignorant

I dont go "out there" for this reason to much vile reading sometimes for someone to take in x

FanjoForTheMammaries Fri 08-Mar-13 00:27:56

Thanks, means a lot. I am certainly not feeling like going out there either!

Reading vile post after vile post is like getting a kicking sometimes

zzzzz Fri 08-Mar-13 00:32:56

I'd be sorry to see you go.

I found that thread hard too.

Children with sn are part of mainstream, not additional to. Comprehensive schools were built for all.

TheNebulousBoojum Fri 08-Mar-13 00:39:25

'people argue with AIBU posters and give MNSN a bad name'

That's always been a way that people have tried to shut down debate, and protest though. By telling those objecting that they are being rude or nasty or unladylike or upsetting applecarts.
I've upset a lot of applecarts in my time, and protested, from environmental issues, anti-apartheid to feminist to racism in schools to SN.
And every time we filled up trollies of SA goods and abandoned them in supermarkets, or nagged about multinationals and their policies, people always said that we were being stroppy and difficult and it was all so uncomfortable,
Bloody right, and I'm not going to stop being a PITA about issues I feel strongly about. grin
Even if it causes hoiking of bosoms and the need for smelling salts.

Maryz Fri 08-Mar-13 01:06:11

I posted this on the other thread.

"There can be some pretty awful stuff posted elsewhere on the board. If I'm feeling strong, I challenge it, if I'm feeling a bit down, I ignore and hide."

So it's ok to not react sometimes. You can't change the opinion of every poster on every thread. You (as in the general you, or we, or one) can only do as much as you can cope with. When I'm not coping well, those threads are lethal to my self-respect and my confidence, so it's counter-productive for me to even post on them.

If every one of those threads changes just one person's mind, then great. But it isn't a battle any one of us should even try to win on our own. Especially if it is upsetting you.

Attitudes to a lot of things are changing though, by the odd person sticking their head over the parapet. For example, a couple of years ago, had somone posted "my teenager is smoking dope and skipping school" every single poster on the board would have said "well, why don't you stop him, I wouldn't put up with it, it's all the parents' fault". That is changing, slowly, too.

Part of it is that there are more parents of children with SN (and teenagers) on here. Part of it is that society as a whole is changing very, very slowly.

But flouncing isn't the answer. That's cutting off your nose to spite your face. Just hide and do a bit of arsing around elsewhere on the board.

lougle Fri 08-Mar-13 06:29:00

Oh I see. Well I'm not that fussed about MNSN having a bad name if our children live in a better world as a result. Just as I assume Rosa Parks didn't much care about having a bad name when she refused to get off that bus.

SolomanDaisy Fri 08-Mar-13 08:14:06

The people saying they wouldn't want their child sitting next to a child with SN also seemed to object to ESOL children etc. i.e. anyone different. They = twats.

FanjoForTheMammaries Fri 08-Mar-13 08:26:47

"You = a twat " is a great put down!

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FanjoForTheMammaries Fri 08-Mar-13 10:04:53

Cuntulus

HumphreyCobbler Fri 08-Mar-13 10:12:43

I generally just hide the thread when people are that shitty Fanjo but you have made me resolve to go in any say something now.

Noodled Fri 08-Mar-13 10:22:30

I didnt look, couldnt face it. However don't go over this. Most of us care, some are twats with no empathy but not most. You contribute to a positive shift in opinion.

giraffesCantDateDucks Fri 08-Mar-13 10:56:45

Didn't see the thread, is it deleted now? Will miss you take care

dothraki Fri 08-Mar-13 22:55:19

FANJO - go and see Pags lovely thread in chat. It will make you cry - because it is so luverly smile

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