I was right the first time

(96 Posts)
FanjoForTheMammaries Wed 06-Mar-13 22:33:25

Yet another thread about not sitting your kids beside the children with SN in school.

I left after the panto thread and was much happier in general but missed a few people so came back.

Wrong decision.

Don't flame me..this is not attention seeking or wanting to be persuaded to stay. I won't. mN is not for me.

Just wanted to say bye to the nice folks, who will know who they are.

And explain why I'm off, in case anyone wonders later.

Adieu thanks

akaemmafrost Thu 07-Mar-13 01:24:18

I wish you wouldn't go sad. If you do it's just one less voice to speak up for our kids.

amillionyears Thu 07-Mar-13 06:47:39

I dont or cant blame any parent of a SN child to hand around here.
There is only so much a person can take.

I dont mind ignorance of something ,so long as a person or parent is prepared to be educated.
So of them, unfortunately, have no intention of ever becoming educated about somethings.

Lostonthemoors Thu 07-Mar-13 06:52:32

Fanjo I also mostly lurk but I like reading your posts. Please don't go.

I didn't see that thread.
If I had I would have been once of the voices against that attitude, believe me.
I don't see why comments like that aren't treated like the ones on the Panto thread about children with SN not being permitted at public performances i.e. deleted as disablist.

I am really sorry to see you go, as someone whose 'voice' I think "Oh good, Fanjo's here!" when I see you post.

I do understand why you feel MN isn't for you and I respect that. No one needs to be made to feel shitty on an internet forum, or come up time and again against attitudes that are deeply hurtful about their children.

That doesn't stop me wishing you weren't leaving <selfish>

MN will be the poorer for you going, however vast a site it is. And I will miss you sad

HecateWhoopass Thu 07-Mar-13 07:00:56

Haven't seen it. I would have had NO problem telling them exactly what I thought of them had I seen it.

It will be sad if you go. I wish you wouldn't let yourself be chased away, but I understand why you don't feel up to sharing space with arseholes.

but there are selfish people everywhere. We are never going to create a bubble where they don't exist. There are people everywhere who think everything from our children shouldn't cause them or theirs any inconvenience no matter how small to our children are a drain on society and should be killed. (and if anyone thinks that's an exaggeration I can only say -in the news - two cornish councilmen - to them!)

If you let such people be the ones who decide if you stay somewhere or leave somewhere or you are happy or you are sad - you are giving them far more power over you than they deserve.

GetOrf Thu 07-Mar-13 07:15:23

I wish you didn't feel that you had to go.

I think mumsnet are far better now and take a line that we are NOT here to educated thick and offensive twats re SN.

There was a thread a few weeks ago - some shoocking crap posted. I reported the post amongst others and the thread was deleted. Some people said that the thread should have stayed and that it made people see how horrible some people's opinions were, but mnhq came on and said they took a line that they didn't think people should educate others at all and we should report and they would delete disablist stuff.

There are hideous people esp on aibu, but I still think they are outnumbered on here by the kind and wise. The thread about the woman with a dd with HFA and wanting the teachers to wait - yes very harsh and spiteful comments but also a LOT of kindness and advice.

I'm sorry though fanjo that you are hurt. I don't blame you at all for wanting to leave. I hope you do vcome back though, you will be missed.

SilentSplendidSun Thu 07-Mar-13 07:16:01

Fanjo, there will always be ignorant twats around who won't know the truth, if it "screeched in their faces". Idiots.

But you delude yourself if you expect other people to support you. Or stick up for you. This is not RL. Stay for your convictions. Or stay away if it is getting hostile. But don't go because you think no one is supporting you. It doesnt work that way

greenhill Thu 07-Mar-13 07:16:17

What a shame that a load of long standing posters are being driven away by trolls / goady f'ers and people who are just looking to be as obnoxious as possible.

None of these people have any interest in the supportive, informative and funny threads that are the mainstay of MN.

It must be very hard to put so much of your emotional energy into fighting the artificially created battles about SN in AIBU fanjo, I hope you feel better soon and feel able to come back.

amillionyears Thu 07-Mar-13 07:22:38

The trouble is that even if there are lots and lots of posters to help a SN parent, if there are say 6 or 12 others, the whole thing must end up being very hurtful [I speak as a parent who does not have a child with SN]

HotPinkWeaselWearingLederhosen Thu 07-Mar-13 07:31:26

Fanjo sad, haven't seen the thread. I'm so sorry you're going, and wish you weren't. But you have to protect yourself this crap as best you can x

FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 07-Mar-13 07:58:27

Thanks for the lovely posts.

Am mortified as I obviously had an excessively emotional moment last night (no wine had even been taken)

Feel a bit of an arse now.

But clearly I am not robust enough for MN at the moment..noone's fault really. Although certain posters don't exactly help.

Maybe one day I will be tough enough to rise above disablist posts.

Have just not reached that day yet. So best I back off.

blush

<attaches elastic to Fanjo's leg>

There. you'll be bungeeing right back here if you leave - ha!

FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 07-Mar-13 08:01:41

grinblush

FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 07-Mar-13 08:03:47

Feels like the day after when I drank too much at Xmas party and cried on colleagues after DD regressed.

And without even drinking last night <crawls in hole>

MrsWolowitz Thu 07-Mar-13 08:06:54

So sorry you feel that way Fanjo.

There are some horrible people on AIBU. Sorry they hurt you sad

Ach, it's enough to make a stone statue weep at times on here.

Don't go <bats eyelashes>

NoTimeForS Thu 07-Mar-13 08:38:05

The internet is a reflection of the real world. There are always going to be some giant fools.
But nice people too.

Sometimes the nice people make it worthwhile and everything seems easier, and sometimes the idiots seem too prolific and you want to hide away for a while to forget they all exist.

And if you feel that way, take the break and come back when you are in a different frame of mind. That is what I reckon.
You have to protect yourself from hurt but I think there are enough nice people to... make it worth not withdrawing forever. I hope so anyway.

Lostonthemoors Thu 07-Mar-13 09:18:09

I think the threads where people show their ignorance about SN are so annoying (just for the record my dc is NT AFAIK).

Don't feel guilty for feeling the way you did, it is upsetting and people should be challenged. I didn't read the thread but the poster who wrote that comment should be ashamed of themselves. It's disgusting.

But please don't go. You can't let the fuckers win. sad

FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 07-Mar-13 12:36:26

Have tried the break thing.

I think its best if I go.

Especially since MNHQ completely ignored the disablism in that thread and just deleted it because it was "identifying".

I originally came back because I thought they had toughened up on disablist posts but it seems not. So the place is not going to become a more SN friendly place any time soon.

Too much on plate IRL to deal with being upset on here. Just had a complaint from neighbour about DD disturbing them at night..we are at end of tether already trying to get her to sleep.

Feel in a bit of a precarious state just now.

Thanks for all your support
x

Sunnywithshowers Thu 07-Mar-13 13:05:33

Big hugs Fanjo xxx

Ah shee-it, you really mean it don't you? sad

FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 07-Mar-13 14:54:42

oh yes...i give you this post to explain why:

whogiveatoss Thu 07-Mar-13 14:48:13
clay that is bullshit. The only debilitating thing is the attude of some of the sen parents.
As a society we need to do our best for equality. some parents scream and shout about there child getting equal treatment and rightly so but then use the excuse 'but there sn and need special treatment.''

Stop blaming your own inadequacies on your child's sn.

I'll wait for the shout of cunt and such that this little gang is so fond of.

Jux Thu 07-Mar-13 15:07:27

Understand why, but sad you're going. I hope you come back some time, maybe when we're all very old women.....

Those threads were vile. Sometimes, you see a title in Active and know you have to say something because you know there are a lot of twats about these days.

Still hoping for a tolerant society.wine

Have a good life.

I'd file that post with the type Wouldn't wipe my arse on it if it were printed on toilet paper, but I understand that you feel you can't.

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