I thought I was tougher than this, but I am so tearful

(200 Posts)
YouOldSlag Wed 20-Feb-13 19:35:10

Right away I know I am pathetic. I love Mumsnet and its a big part of my life. many posters have given me a spring in my step just by agreeing with me or quoting me, or just by being wise or kind. Or making me laugh until tears flow. Or outlining an opinion I hadn't considered before.

However, and I know this is stupid, but I am being fucking macerated over the manner of how I got engaged on the "People who plan to "Get engaged" thread.

I cannot believe how nasty it has got. I have got really good at hiding threads that upset me in the past, but this one has actually made me go shaky.

I just feel stupid and thought I was better at holding my own, but I feel outnumbered over something so silly. DH and I went to Paris to "get engaged" and that very act has been labelled pathetic and meaningless. It was such a lovely memory for us and it's had me in tears that it has been called "meaningless" and "pathetic".

I'll have to leave as it's actually made me jumpy and lose confidence about posting. Not flouncing, just feel so shaken and daft to even feel that way.

scottishmummy Wed 20-Feb-13 20:46:50

Some folks clearly think engagement is joyful etc.to others it's boaky schmaltz
Haven't read all thread,but if it's your significant memory it can't be altered by another pov
I think to do mn you need to rub along,accept different pov and no mn grudges,I never recall who said what anyhow

Growlithe Wed 20-Feb-13 20:48:36

That thread is horrible and sneery. OP FWIW your DH sounds really considerate, and your engagement sounds perfect.

I got engaged in the way those sneery posters think is ok. He proposed, in a grotty little club where we were having a late drink. We went and chose a ring together, and it had to be resized, so we picked it up a few days later. He took me for a coffee and put it on my finger. The whole thing was a bit meh. I was glad to be engaged of course but it was a bit of an anticlimax.

I'd rather have planned it with him and gone to Paris. smile

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM Wed 20-Feb-13 20:48:43

Fuck 'em OP and hide AIBU for a while.

I have been told (not me personally, but from reading opinions on threads) that I am an utter shite of a person who everybody hates because amongst other things:

I love baby showers runs for the hills
I enjoy other people's weddings and don't mind giving money in place of a gift
I have had my baby scan picture as my FB profile pic <watches entire thread hoik bosom>
I allow my daughter to wear nail varnish
I don't shop and nor do I ever plan to shop, in Boden or Waitrose. Why would I unless I planned to tell everybody that that is where I chose to shop so they could all revel in my marvelousness? and I can't afford to so Matalan and Aldi it is

God, I could go on and on.

Don't sweat it. Honestly. Your engagement sounds lovely and I am very envious - how romantic.

My uncle proposed to my aunt on the balcony of a chalet, in the Alps, on New Years Eve <nawwwww>

I'm a sucker for romance.

Youold my dh did the bloody unmentionable of asking me just after make up sex after a row. It isn't exactly a tale for the dc!

You'll be ok, have a day off and come back, you'll be right. smile

FanjoForTheMammaries Wed 20-Feb-13 20:51:51

DH proposed to me in a gondola in Venice..clichetastic!

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM Wed 20-Feb-13 20:52:02

Growlithe that sounds like my engagement actually.

He's not from Crewe is he? wink

I got engaged in a blaze of anti-depressants, whilst recovering from a breakdown, having known him for 2 weeks. Was surprised when the relationship didn't last more than 6 weeks....after I made an utter tit of myself in front of all my friends and family who stood back with permanent shock faces, as their normally ordinary, sensible friend/relative acted like an alien!

I can laugh about it now......confused

icepole Wed 20-Feb-13 20:52:17

Bollocks to them. Not read the thread but I am jealous of your romantic engagement. Mine was like something out of a bad comedy.

ErikNorseman Wed 20-Feb-13 20:53:11

Really? Outrageous abuse? Overreaction much...OP you are taking it all way too personally. You volunteered your experience, which jarred with the general tenor of the thread, so you were disagreed with. Next time don't share so much. But don't take it so seriously.

scottishmummy Wed 20-Feb-13 20:53:27

Indeedy,one person big spesh gesture is boaky to someone else.and so what
no I really don't think anyone is jealous of engagements,I largely agree it's boaky
But you know what mn is big enough for all pov and it'd be twee to all agree

<hoicks bosom> and what is wrong with Crewe?

I am from Nantwich <waits for jaw to drop>

Yama Wed 20-Feb-13 20:54:01

Thanks BeerTricks.

YouOld - this thread has brought back lovely memories for many of us. See? Don't let the dicks win.

harrietlichman Wed 20-Feb-13 20:56:46

OP you need a break from MN if that thread bothered you this much - that really wasn't a flaming, and why on earth would you give a shiny one what strangers think of your own, personal engagement? Let it go (and if you want to leave, leave...never really got the advertising on Flouncer's corner either...)

Have you seen this lovely vid? Makes me all mushy.

sing along proposal

scottishmummy Wed 20-Feb-13 20:58:56

Now you lot are over vehement and yo about engagement,bit too touchy I think
No ones jealous,no one crying into their single girl latte,just different stroke different folks
Mn doesn't boil down do doesn't agree with you=dick,jealous,denial.it really doesn't

I think they'd chew me up and spit me out over on that thread, Dh proposed on the orient express, and I loved it, and him for doing that, he knew I'd always wanted to go on it, like murder on the orient grin

Stuff em, they're just jealous.

Pan Wed 20-Feb-13 21:00:19

if it helps, OP,a lot of posters get name-called. Sometimes it matters, sometimes it doesn't. It really doesn't say anything about you. <I know you are lurking..smile>

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Foggles Wed 20-Feb-13 21:01:12

I mentioned oop thread that we got engaged in Paris. It was 24 years ago and my significant memory is more to do with humour than romance.

I didn't know anything about the trip that DH had booked or his plans to propose <romantic>

He was going to propose over a champagne meal <romantic>

He had booked a table at the LIDO!! He swore he had never heard of the Bluebell Girls. We had a front row table and rather too much of a view of the titties & bumcracks.

He was shock

He "forgot" to propose.

Next day - he was going to propose at the top of the Eiffel Tower.

He thought it was Too Busy.

Long story short. We were in Paris for 3 days and he finally proposed in the park at the foot of the Eiffel Tower ONE HOUR before we were getting on the plane back.

We celebrated with a can of lager and a sandwich. grin

FanjoForTheMammaries Wed 20-Feb-13 21:01:42

Scottishmummy..it is too late. .we have all seen that you secretly are a big mushydrawers

No no. It's me you should feel sorry for. No Paris here, I got engaged in Wetherspoons. Shoot me now.

You got the Seine, I got a chicken burger grin

Corygal Wed 20-Feb-13 21:04:49

Your engagement is beautiful!

Twats are one of life's side-effects, pah.

scottishmummy Wed 20-Feb-13 21:05:43

Really you ladies just keep telling yourself all the unengaged are jealous,if it helps
alternatively,mn is odd microcosm were opinion never discussed in rl is elevated to histrionic heights
That's the pleasure,humour and frustration of mn -the sheer histrionics

Wishiwasanheiress Wed 20-Feb-13 21:05:53

I wish we had gone to Paris. I have wonderful memories of a weekend there with dh before he was dh....

We got engaged in a restaurant. It was beautiful. I wouldn't really change it but well.... Paris! Sigh.....

U lucky lucky birdie xxx

Yama Wed 20-Feb-13 21:06:06

Well, Scottish I apologise for calling people dicks (if it upset you). I didn't read the thread but extrapolated (wrongly it would seem) that they must be dicks if they upset the lovely YouOld.

scottishmummy Wed 20-Feb-13 21:07:51

I'm absolute believer in keep self safe and Sane on mn,and don sweat the wee stuff
I love Paris,it's a gorgeous city

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