Goodbye to Mumsnet

(119 Posts)
dittany Thu 15-Sep-11 13:11:27

(Yet another great thing about Mumsnet is that there is actually a section especially devoted for flouncing off).

I didn't want to go without saying goodbye properly.

I just wanted to say what an amazing place Mumnset is and how much I've enjoyed posting and reading here and being part of it. I think it's a wonderful space for women to talk to one another and to support each other and just generally be able to be ourselves. The posters here are great and I think it's probably the best mainstream site there is by far. I've always felt like I know about a special secret coming to Mumnset because there are people (sexist people) who are bit sneery and superior at the name, and have no idea of the intelligent, witty and interesting conversations that go on here. More fool them of course. smile

And of course the Feminism Section. It says so much for Mumsnet that they were happy to give us a feminist section, which has turned into a place where feminism and radical feminism are addressed seriously and where posters have become active in real life and where real feminism is happening every day. It says so much for Mumsnet posters that so many of them are feminists, or were interested in feminism and want to engage. If Mumsnet is the best mainstream site, the Feminist section is probably the best public feminist forum there is (it's why we're getting trolled!). Standing up for women and girls is such an important thing to do. So of course Mumsnetters would do it.

I realise this reads like a bit of a speech (uber-flounce) but being part of Mumsnet has meant a lot to me (I spent enough time here to prove that) and I wanted to say why.

So so long, goodbye - I'll miss a lot of the posters here, I'll miss the feminist section, but it feels like the time is right to move on.

Beachcomber Thu 15-Sep-11 14:50:20

I hear you dittany. Fair enough. Keep in touch.

If we get our arses in gear and ask MNHQ to sort things out, would you consider coming back? (If we get them sorted I mean) You don't have to answer that.

Beachcomber Thu 15-Sep-11 14:54:33

We just need common or garden posting guidelines.

Stuff like making jokes about rape (offensive sexism) or calling feminists man haters (personal attack done in a cunning group attack way) are not acceptable.

People will report stuff that goes against the guidelines and people who consistently break them will be warned and then banned or at least told to refrain from posting in feminism.

It isn't difficult.

So sorry you're going, dittany.

I don't blame you.

But MN and the Feminism section in particular will be the poorer for it.

Jux Thu 15-Sep-11 14:58:25

Dittany, I don't hang out on the feminist section, but I've seen you many times on Relationships. I don't always agree with you either but that doesn't mean I'm not sorry you're off. I do understand why you're doing this and tbh the events of the last week (?) have been very troubling.

I'm sorry you're off, and I hope you return soon; but my best wishes go with you.

Oh. Sorry you're going, Dittany. I'll miss your posts.

HereBeBolloX Thu 15-Sep-11 15:01:11

Yes I am yet to understand why racism, homophobia etc. are not allowed, but sexism is.

I asked that question and no one has answered it.

GrimmaTheNome Thu 15-Sep-11 15:03:02

Beachcomber - yes, I guess the posting guidelines could do with some beefing up - currently 'we will remove posts we consider to be obscene, racist, disablist, homophobic, contain personal attacks or break the law, once they are brought to our attention.' - doesn't cover offensive/discriminatory sexism.

DontCallMeFrothyDragon Thu 15-Sep-11 15:03:31

It's because we're just women., HereBeBollox.. we got the vote... what more do we want, eh? hmm

Thumbwitch Thu 15-Sep-11 15:04:25

Sexism and disablism, Herebe.

Peachy Thu 15-Sep-11 15:06:07

Quite Thumb.

Maybe MNHQ should, if they ahve not done so, seriously think about attedning some training on hate speech and discrimination? hal;f their policy is arse over tit wrt that; deleting attacks on individuals over groups is the reverse of their legal obs.

GrimmaTheNome Thu 15-Sep-11 15:06:15

It may be that guidelines on sexism have to be somewhat carefully thought out because there are probably a fair few posts which could be jumped on as anti-male sexism - I don't mean in feminism particularly - some of the jokey threads could be accused of being sexist by shitstirrers.

GrimmaTheNome Thu 15-Sep-11 15:08:18

>Sexism and disablism, Herebe.

'disablist' is verboten now.

bucaneve Thu 15-Sep-11 15:12:59

Such a shame you're going dittany, I really enjoyed reading all your posts in the feminist bit, even if I didn't always agree. I can tell from your posts that you really care about what you are saying. Hopefully you'll come back one day

Thumbwitch Thu 15-Sep-11 15:18:20

Grimma - what do you mean? the term "disablism" is wrong, or that disablism itself is forbidden? I was using the term as it has been used a lot recently (last few days) - wasn't aware that it was wrong?

GrimmaTheNome Thu 15-Sep-11 15:21:45

Thumb - I meant that disablism is now included in posts which will be deleted, which is as it should be!

''we will remove posts we consider to be obscene, racist, disablist, homophobic"

Thumbwitch Thu 15-Sep-11 15:23:37

oh goody! thanks for pointing that out. About time too - I feel all fucknuggety about that smile. (apologies for "in joke" blush)

ViolaTricolor Thu 15-Sep-11 15:29:02

Dittany, although we haven't directly interacted I've always been hugely grateful for the clear-sighted, strong voice with which you speak out for women and girls and for all the things they deserve -- many of those things very small and ordinary, yet out of reach. Good luck to you.

nickelbabe Thu 15-Sep-11 15:32:53

dittany, you can't leave!

nooooooo
i loooooove you really!

In all seriousness - i wish you weren't leaving, because I like debating with you.
sad

Peachy Thu 15-Sep-11 15:33:58

That happend quite a while ago actually; took a lot of SN matter raising to get it, some could argue the effects has been minimal, although there is hope that last weekend might have some effects, given the loss of Fanjo etc.

And yes sexism should be included- although would it not be betetr better to ask that people fulfil their obligations under the hate speech was? Would cover all and just remind people it's illegal.

But getting deja vue feeling so off to harvest apples LOL

StewieGriffinsMom Thu 15-Sep-11 15:36:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Goodbye it is then. Thanks for all the insight.
I would second the motion that your reconsider the namechange option in a while; but would far rather you do what's best for you.

I also think the MN guidelines are Not Good Enough anymore. A serious revision is needed in the light of what happens on the Feminist board (and the SN one I understand).

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StayFrosty Thu 15-Sep-11 16:56:10

I think this is a huge shame, although i understand why. I have been very underwhelmed with mnhq's efforts to deal with the concerted trolling lately.

QOD Thu 15-Sep-11 16:57:03

ffs! I must miss so much! lots of leaving sad

is it me?

<<sniffs arm pitts>>

ForYourDreamsAreChina Thu 15-Sep-11 17:01:48

I'm a namechanger, and have been withdrawing from MN slowly myself over the last couple of months.... (hence the namechanging)just wanted to join in wishing Dittany well, as with a few others, she is one of the posters I want to be like when I grow up.

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