Goodbye to Mumsnet

(119 Posts)
dittany Thu 15-Sep-11 13:11:27

(Yet another great thing about Mumsnet is that there is actually a section especially devoted for flouncing off).

I didn't want to go without saying goodbye properly.

I just wanted to say what an amazing place Mumnset is and how much I've enjoyed posting and reading here and being part of it. I think it's a wonderful space for women to talk to one another and to support each other and just generally be able to be ourselves. The posters here are great and I think it's probably the best mainstream site there is by far. I've always felt like I know about a special secret coming to Mumnset because there are people (sexist people) who are bit sneery and superior at the name, and have no idea of the intelligent, witty and interesting conversations that go on here. More fool them of course. smile

And of course the Feminism Section. It says so much for Mumsnet that they were happy to give us a feminist section, which has turned into a place where feminism and radical feminism are addressed seriously and where posters have become active in real life and where real feminism is happening every day. It says so much for Mumsnet posters that so many of them are feminists, or were interested in feminism and want to engage. If Mumsnet is the best mainstream site, the Feminist section is probably the best public feminist forum there is (it's why we're getting trolled!). Standing up for women and girls is such an important thing to do. So of course Mumsnetters would do it.

I realise this reads like a bit of a speech (uber-flounce) but being part of Mumsnet has meant a lot to me (I spent enough time here to prove that) and I wanted to say why.

So so long, goodbye - I'll miss a lot of the posters here, I'll miss the feminist section, but it feels like the time is right to move on.

DontCallMeFrothyDragon Thu 15-Sep-11 13:58:28

<ties dittany's shoelaces to the chair>

HA! You're stuck here... grin

HereBeBolloX Thu 15-Sep-11 14:00:50

Dittany I hope it won't be forever. We will miss you and your clarity and I hope that once you've had a good long break, you'll come back.

PrincessFiorimonde Thu 15-Sep-11 14:02:42

Dittany, I'm very sorry to see you go. You are one of the first posters I saw (in Relationships) when I first starting using MN a couple of years ago. I haven't 'spoken' with you directly, but have found many of your posts - especially in Feminism, of course - interesting, thought-provoking, challenging (in a good way).

I wish you well.

ThePrincessRoyalFiggyrolls Thu 15-Sep-11 14:03:42

Dittany - you flounced and then came back to respond! How is that flouncing? Get your arse back here right now grin

BalloonSlayer Thu 15-Sep-11 14:05:29

oh nooooo

Don't go.

I am a fledgling and often find myself thinking "now what would Dittany do?" grin

Would be sad if you were not here.

ShirelyKnotSHIRE Thu 15-Sep-11 14:05:47

Don't go

HereBeBolloX Thu 15-Sep-11 14:06:37

LOL at "what would Dittany do?"

ShowMeTheMonet Thu 15-Sep-11 14:06:56

I understand why you're going but I think it's a real shame. A real shame.

adamschic Thu 15-Sep-11 14:08:14

LRD, you are right I didn't mean it badly, it's shame though but I can understand Dittany, it's just not worth it.

There are some strange, sad people out there.

Beachcomber Thu 15-Sep-11 14:10:20

Dittany are you going because you think there will be fewer trolls/less derailment if you do? I mean are you taking one for the team?

Or have you just have enough and want to post some place else?

If it is the latter that is fair enough on your part.

If is the former well, fuck that for a game of soldiers. We may well have less bullshit but it won't be worth it.

The way to sort out the current situation is for MNHQ to get their act together and do something to protect the feminist board - ALL feminist boards on the net need some sort of protection because they attract all sorts of low lives by their very nature. MNHQ is being very naive if they think that they are somehow different. They agreed to a feminist space now they need to accept that unfortunately in this shitey old patriarchal world of ours, feminist spaces are attacked and there are generally specific rules about what is and is not acceptable.

Don't go.

ComradeJing Thu 15-Sep-11 14:12:35

Best wishes Dittany, I've learned a lot from you. It's a shame MNHQ aren't on the trolls and I hope you pop back in the future.

Pan Thu 15-Sep-11 14:12:43

oh FFS.

Whatever the reason(s) you are going, I will organise a rota to keep your seat warm until you come back.

MarginallyNarkyPuffin Thu 15-Sep-11 14:13:41

If you feel you need to go I understand. You can pop back from time to time though.

I think that you have become a target for trolls who must be searching for posts in your name. More upsetting are the MNers who don't bother to actually read your comments or explore the thread topics so much as selectively quote you to tell you why you're wrong about everything.

I don't always agree exactly with what you say, but you always make me question my beliefs and re-evaluate the way I see things. You people think. That's the highest praise I can give.

MarginallyNarkyPuffin Thu 15-Sep-11 14:14:06

You make people think.

HereBeBolloX Thu 15-Sep-11 14:14:29

This is very true Beachcomber.

Mysogynist men are absolutely terrified of spaces like mumsnet, because they give women the opportunity to talk to each other, share experiences and support each other. The idea that nasty old feminists might be influencing "decent" women to have strange uppity ideas, is really threatening to them, whcih is why they're all over this space and MN seems to be in denial that they are of a different flavour to your average common or garden troll. It just won't work and it will destroy the space they've created.

GrimmaTheNome Thu 15-Sep-11 14:22:29

Its an awful shame if you feel hounded out. I occasionally drop into Feminist board ... reported a bridge-dweller last night even, MN deleted post then whole thread about as quickly as could be expected, late at night. You talk a lot of clear sense.

No chance you could namechange and stay?

mumwithdice Thu 15-Sep-11 14:25:52

I wish you weren't going, dittany. I always enjoy reading your posts even if I don't agree because, as Puffin says, they make me think. But I also understand why and I wish you the best.

ShirelyKnotSHIRE Thu 15-Sep-11 14:27:42

Totally agree with "ALL feminist boards on the net need some sort of protection because they attract all sorts of low lives by their very nature. MNHQ is being very naive if they think that they are somehow different."

PLEASE listen to this MNHQ

EldritchCleavage Thu 15-Sep-11 14:30:03

It's been an education. It's a real pity you are leaving and I will miss your contributions. Feel free to slope back on after a while with another name.

dittany Thu 15-Sep-11 14:34:52

"More upsetting are the MNers who don't bother to actually read your comments or explore the thread topics so much as selectively quote you to tell you why you're wrong about everything."

Yup.

Beach I'm not taking one for the team. I'd actually be taking one if I stayed I think. I'm really sorry to be leaving Mumsnet Feminist Section one radical feminist down, and it is a selfish decision at the end. I am hoping that the lack of lightening-rodness may be a side benefit of me not being around. But I know I'd hate it if any of the feminists or the people who've been supportive of feminism here left, so I'm sorry that it's me that's doing it.

SweetTheSting Thu 15-Sep-11 14:35:39

What lots of people have said. I lurk a lot more than I post and I don't always agree with you but I think you have a real clarity that will be missed and I'm sad that you are being personally hounded in this way.

I hope you feel able to return in future.

jugglingwiththreeshoes Thu 15-Sep-11 14:39:37

When I see a "dittany" post it always conjures up a cool, wise, edgy vibe.
( I don't always remember exactly who's said what to whom too much wine )
I'm sorry you're going.
Remember you could always flounce back and be very welcome.
Glad our paths crossed for a while, if only in cyberspace xx

Thumbwitch Thu 15-Sep-11 14:44:38

Dittany, while I don't always agree with your hardline stance on feminist issues, I do think you have been a very valuable poster and am sorry that you feel the need to leave. sad

Lightning-rod or not, you stood up for what you believed in and vociferously - something that someone needs to do. Others may take your place but certainly yours is the best known feminist poster name to me on here and I will miss you.

Hope you decide to come back.

GrimmaTheNome Thu 15-Sep-11 14:46:21

'ALL feminist boards on the net need some sort of protection'

What sort of protection do you mean though? Make this the one moderated board, or what? I'd love there to be a way to cut malicious trolls off at the knee but I'm a bit baffled as to what MNHQ can do.

Peachy Thu 15-Sep-11 14:47:44

Ggodbye Dittant and good luck; whilst we have not always agreed (though not always disagreed either) it's been a pleasure to meet a fellow campaiger, even if in a different field (mostly).

Best of luck.

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