Grandparent (male kissing female grandchildren on lips)

(31 Posts)
BreakingDad77 Thu 01-May-14 11:15:30

To me I think this is weird and should only kiss them on head/cheek, we have had a son so has not been a problem.

DW thinks I am being silly, I remember hearing Germaine Greer talking about the same thing and I found myself agreeing resonating with what she was saying.

TheNightIsDark Thu 01-May-14 11:19:18

Get a grip.

Do you not kiss your DS/DD on the lips? Why does the grandparent being male make a difference?

SirChenjin Thu 01-May-14 11:22:13

If your DC don't mind then it's not a problem. My personal experience clouds my judgement on this issue, so all I will say is take the lead from your DC, but if they ever say that they don't like it then please listen to them.

MumsyFoxy Thu 01-May-14 11:23:50

I think grandparents shouldn't kiss on their grandchildren's lips fullstop!! Also not share their cutlery with the grandchildren either. My ex MIL used to do this (and probably still does) and I found it repelling; she should have at least asked me.

FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 01-May-14 11:25:11

I think some posters think this is in AIBU not Feminist Theory.

FuckyNell Thu 01-May-14 11:25:57

Using the same cutlery? That made me laugh out loud!!!!

elQuintoConyo Thu 01-May-14 11:26:13

Fuck me, now I've read it all.

Teach your dc about boundaries and how to feel comfortable enforcing them - then leave it up to them.

wonkylegs Thu 01-May-14 11:26:23

I agree with your DW - you are being daft.
Why does this upset you?
It's a normal display of affection between family. Would it be more acceptable if granny kissed a grandson on the lips or would this too be taboo?
I think it's sad when people get worried about normal actions like this.

Youdontneedacriminallawyer Thu 01-May-14 11:26:25

Oh for goodness sake! It's the child's grandfather. Things have come to a pretty pass when we start monitoring how granparents kiss children.

MumsyFoxy Thu 01-May-14 11:42:09

Grandparents themselves shpuld be wise enough to know better than to kiss their grandchildren (opposite sex or not) on the lips. It's not appropriate and u hygenic.

BreakingDad77 Thu 01-May-14 11:42:28

My DS is only 6 months but I dont kiss him on lips as I think its weird.

BreakingDad77 Thu 01-May-14 11:50:50

I was quite young so when grandmum died was only her and her two brothers alive at that time cant remember when she did.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf Thu 01-May-14 11:55:31

Some lip kissing is inappropriate and/or abusive. Most is not. The difference is context.

TheBookofRuth Thu 01-May-14 12:00:44

That's really sad BreakingDad. That's your baby boy, you helped make him, he's part of you. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you kissing him on the lips.

BreakingDad77 Thu 01-May-14 12:08:45

I love hugging and holding him and do kiss him on the cheek, head, though with my dad I cant remember him being that affectionate, we weren't a hugging type family. Took some time to get over when I started dating and met families where this was more the norm.

TheBookofRuth Thu 01-May-14 12:16:16

That's good, there's no such thing as too much affection for a baby.

And in no time at all he'll probably be running away from any form of affection going "urgh, no, gross!", so enjoy it while you can grin

BreakingDad77 Thu 01-May-14 14:39:49

cheers Ruth, and everyone else for your input

Mumto3dc Thu 01-May-14 14:43:02

I remember really struggling with this with my dc when they were babies, I felt really strongly that they had no choice or control and it felt wrong to me.

Parents are different, a much much closer bond. IMO not appropriate with other relatives.

deepinthewoods Thu 01-May-14 14:48:18

I don't think it's sad breakingdad- we are a family of non lip kissers also. I don't kiss my children on the lips- neither does my OH. I was never kissed on the lips by my parents and neither was my OH.

I have no problems with those that do, it's just never been part of our behaviour. We give our children lots of affection -kisses and cuddles otherwise.
I am quite glad that my FIL didn't kiss my kids on the lips as he had terribly rotten teeth, and know that dental caries and gum disease can be transmitted by lip kissing. I didn't want my baby's perfect little white teeth to be subjected to all those nasties.

whereisthewitch Thu 01-May-14 15:01:23

Both my DDs grandads kiss her on the mouth....I have absolutely no issues with it at all. I think you're being a bit weird tbh, and she's old enough now to say no if she doesn't want to anyway.

World gone stupid if you ask me when an innocent and loving sign of affection is made out to be something sinister!

deepinthewoods Thu 01-May-14 15:42:42

Could it be a cultural thing? i believe kissing babies in some countries is not very common. I live in Scotland, none of my friends kiss their baby's lips either. Could it depend where you live as to how common or accepted a practice it is?

HPparent Thu 01-May-14 15:56:07

OP one of my parents comes from continental Europe (a northern country) where children are commonly kissed on the lips even by non relatives such as aunts uncles by marriage. Nothing sexual and applies to girls and boys.

It really upsets me that every sort of physical contact with children is now seen as sexual by some people. DH offered to take a little girls hand getting off a bus recently as the mum had bags and the girl was struggling with the step. He basically got a shriek of no and a look as if he was a paedophile from the mum.

deepinthewoods Thu 01-May-14 16:31:49

Is it seen as sexual? I don't think anyone has said that.

I'm in Scotland and in our family, everyone kisses each other on the lips. Apart from one aunt as she smokes so doesn't like to kiss anyone on the lips. I agree that kids make up their own minds. Both my sister and I went though a phase of not kissing anyone on the lips but don't worry about it now.
Some people on here are quite over the top, imo.

AiryFairyHairyAndScary Thu 01-May-14 16:51:38

I don't think anyone should kiss kids on the lip except their parents however, I don't think its creepy more that it's unhygienic.

It's the type of thing that I would politely ask GPs not to do especially those with cold sores or those who regularly kiss their dogs on the lips [confused--

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