how do I deal with dh/neighbours without being told I'm being too sensitive & I should lighten up. Or indeed, should I?

(4 Posts)

Party at neighbour's house last night. I get the train every morning with 2 of the dh and they seem really nice.

Anyway, as the evening wore on they started playing kids game which turned into a drinking game. All rather drunk, someone suggests a ladders round. A couple of women agreed to play but no alcohol. The men all got really sarcastic and a couple even shouted out what's the point, get back in the kitchen then. angry a couple of the women were driving (so their dh could drink) others just didn't want to get rat arsed.

Aside from that, in every single case it was the women who had to leave to take the kids to bed (party started early so kids could play together) which really stood out to me. So all the women had to do the driving or childcare.

Then we're critised for being party poppers and told to get back into the kitchen. I guess it was an eye opener to see sexism to alive and kicking in people who otherwise seem ok.

Finally, my dh managed to get totally smashed and he left without me. One minute he was there. Then I noticed he wasn't - called home, no answer. Came home by myself (just at end of cul-de-sac) to find him snoring in bed. He's been massively grumpy with hangover all day.

How best to tackle?

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Sun 12-May-13 18:54:25

Do you want to tackle DH or your friends or both?

Both but Separate. actually I don't suppose i can say anything to the neighbours, but they have gone way down in my estimation. it feels depressingly like deep down and with a bit of help from alcohol all men, even those who normally seem ok are actually sexist idiotssad sad

mustardtomango Mon 18-Aug-14 08:48:04

Perhaps your dh got caught up in the moment /man camaraderie (gah) and played along more than he might have done otherwise?

You've a couple of options I reckon... Avoid being chummy with the neighbours for a bit and work on getting your husband a bit better on side, or rally round with the women and create an evening where the men do all the legwork, perhaps going to a restaurant. I like the latter - far better to show than tell, and you avoid being labelled nagging.

Agree would probably irritate me too, crowned by snoring disappearing husband.

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