February 2012 Non-Fiction Book Club:Gavin de Becker's The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals that Protect us from Violence

(53 Posts)
StewieGriffinsMom Mon 16-Jan-12 16:36:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SweetTheSting Wed 29-Feb-12 23:03:26

The baby monitor is running out of battery which is my signal to go to bed! Thanks for discussing, everyone, good night!

AyeRobot Wed 29-Feb-12 23:06:12

Exactly. It only works if you have choices that are safe and practical. I was lucky on that score and the phrase helped me think "Why am I still here when I can go somewhere else?". It broke the mental stranglehold he had on me and allowed me to bring all options to the fore to be examined, rather than just the one I had been living with, which was to stay and try and get him to change. Well, it contributed to my thinking, rather than being the sole cause.

Yes, empowering. Big self-help term and not reflective of reality in the main.

BasilRathbone Thu 01-Mar-12 14:11:08

Yes I think that would have been crucial in your cases wouldn't it Aye - the fact that you had somewhere else to go.

The book doesn't recognise that some people don't. But tbh I'm not going to quibble with that, that isn't what the book is discussing I suppose. That's not its focus.

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