August Non-Fiction Book Club:

(94 Posts)
StewieGriffinsMom Mon 08-Aug-11 18:28:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bucaneve Wed 31-Aug-11 21:52:02

That's a good point actually, I quite enjoy cooking and it would mean he would have to do all the washing up which is my most hated of all household chores.

PettyCoat Wed 31-Aug-11 21:53:23

madwomanintheattic I still do most of the cards to mutual friends, friends of the DSes etc. I just figured that as DH probably never sent his family birthday cards before we got married, I was actually 'overdoing' it and applying my own standards to him. So I think that's a bit different somehow to saying 'this task needs to be done, which of us will do it?' - in his mind, there was no such task!

madwomanintheattic Wed 31-Aug-11 21:54:01

petty, same here with diet. i've been steadily putting on weight for 13 years, largely due to living with a man a foot taller than me with a huge appetite. he cooks a lot tbh, but sometimes it's just tooooo much. (can't win, really!) and yep, i eat it all up. nicely. like a good girl.

i don't thank him out of the ordinary for cooking though. it's the actual cleaning and stuff where i feel most guilty of that, i think. and he does do a lot. but i've become sort of normed to feel grateful. and a bit diminished myself for my 'failure' to do it without help...

StewieGriffinsMom Wed 31-Aug-11 21:56:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

madwomanintheattic Wed 31-Aug-11 21:56:44

interesting about the different standards thing. that's always dragged up in 'defence' of men who do feck all in the house though. grin <not here, obv>

madwomanintheattic Wed 31-Aug-11 21:58:02

ds1 wouldn't take his bag if i didn't remind him. he's 9. were you grateful he'd taken her though, sgm?

StewieGriffinsMom Wed 31-Aug-11 22:01:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bucaneve Wed 31-Aug-11 22:01:59

To be fair I'm sure all our DPs/DHs have higher standards then us in different things. For example I will just turn up at the train station and get a train ticket for £££. DP on the other hand will remember the week before hand to book it online and avoid zone 1 for much less £. (He is also nice and texts me reminding me which train I need and to remember to buy a plus bus ticket or whatever)

PettyCoat Wed 31-Aug-11 22:02:14

Cleverything I agree re the planning being work. DH now does a lot more of that, he's more likely than me to pop to the shop for some fish after picking up the DSes for example. At the end of the day, if there are beans in the cupboard and bread in the bread bin, I won't go to bed hungry!

bucaneve, if you can afford it between you, would always advise getting a dishwasher! <nothing to do with feminism, just SOO much nicer!>

madwomanintheattic, I always feel bad if I'm sitting down and DH is doing a chore. Never mind if he sat down the previous night whilst I did chores. And it's not him making me feel bad, it's me. Gah, why is that?! I am fighting it though by sitting (wo)manfully on smile

StewieGriffinsMom Wed 31-Aug-11 22:02:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StewieGriffinsMom Wed 31-Aug-11 22:03:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PettyCoat Wed 31-Aug-11 22:04:11

Yep, SGM, I wouldn't have felt any gratitude there either!

Cleverything Wed 31-Aug-11 22:07:28

It certainly was a contributing factor in my case!

PettyCoat Wed 31-Aug-11 22:09:57

SGM I think you are right about the little things. DH & I do try and split chores equally (we WOH/SAH equal hours and do tidying, laundry, cooking, about equally) but I always feel like my brain is 'fuller' than his with 'stuff' (pay school lunches, fill out milk form, label uniform, get DCs' feet measured...)

It's more 'motherwork' than 'wifework', maybe.

HereBeBolloX Wed 31-Aug-11 22:15:09

oh here you all are
forgot it had its separate topic
it's ages since i read it

But what I remember, is how important it is that men do the planning as well as the doing. The doing is the easy bit.

StewieGriffinsMom Wed 31-Aug-11 22:18:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PettyCoat Wed 31-Aug-11 22:26:53

SGM I've done that with packing too!

StewieGriffinsMom Wed 31-Aug-11 22:27:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PettyCoat Wed 31-Aug-11 22:36:18

Goodnight SGM, I am tired too. Thank you for arranging the club.

Can we come back and post another time or is it like a webchat and we all stop after tonight?

HereBeBolloX Wed 31-Aug-11 22:38:20

No come back and post again!

PettyCoat Wed 31-Aug-11 22:40:38

OK, HereBe, I will try and do that! 'Night, all!

bucaneve Wed 31-Aug-11 22:44:54

Everyone saying good night has made me sleepy (bit like when you see someone yawn)

Night all

Tentatively bumping because I think three (?) of us at least have just read this ... (hope that's ok).

Takver Thu 22-Sep-11 21:17:14

Happy to see the bump, LRD, as I'm half way through it so good to see what others think.

So far I've been wondering about her early chapters & assertion that there are no female dominated societies at all. I don't know enough to be sure whether this is correct or not, but from what I remember of the very tiny bit of women's studies I did many years ago, I wasn't sure if it was 100% the case.

I do think the biological explanation for the origin of wifework is interesting, but not sure that I find it 100% compelling.

Yes, I wondered about that. I need to read the matriarchies thread.

To be honest, I felt she went on a bit about the biology, but my impression now I've had time to think is she probably felt she had to do that not so much because it's hugely convincing, but because so many people will not hear any argument against the status quo because they believe the status quo is 'natural'.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now