Victims of Violence

(384 Posts)
Treats Tue 19-Oct-10 12:57:05

So - this is the first thread I've started within the Feminism section, but I'm a long-time lurker and occasional poster.

I've been motivated to start a thread by this story from last week, and then also by this both in the last few days. (There was another one too but i can't find the link at the moment).

Every few weeks, it seems to me from reading the newspapers, a woman is killed by her husband or lover. Sometimes her children are harmed too.

My DH would like to argue that every single murder is an isolated incident, and caused entirely by factors only relevant to that one man. I argue that these cases are manifestations of misogyny, and that these are not isolated examples, but are all linked. He finds this an uncomfortable point of view, because of what it suggests about him, about us, about our friends.

I think that misogyny is similar to an epidemic - say, swine flu. It's infectious. It affects a significant proportion of the population, but not all. Of those affected, only a minority are severely affected. But it can be fatal - not for the sufferer, but for those close to them.

I don't know how many others here agree with me, but I do see a number of posts from some people who most definitely wouldn't. So the thread I want to start is to collect examples of victims of misogynist violence - women who were killed because they subverted their husbands and boyfriends desire to control them. I want people who visit this board with doubts about why feminism is necessary and justified to read my thread with its examples of victims and to start joining the dots for themselves.

Those posters who think that misandry is equivalent to misogyny are free to post their examples too (of women killing men).

If this thread (or something like it) already exists, then please point me to it and I will post there.

notjustapotforsoup Tue 14-Dec-10 11:22:51

And some people wonder why extreme caution is given on the Relationship threads when men display worrying behaviour....... These women are just like you or me or our mothers, sisters and friends.

arudolf Fri 17-Dec-10 09:50:00

this is such a horrific thread - not meaning it should be pulled, just the sheer number of deaths is horrific . I've just seen another on - Sally Cox and her son, suspected to have been murdered by her ex-partner

ElfPantsAtMidnightMass Fri 17-Dec-10 12:35:10

I know arudolf. And I feel like no-one is keeping track of them properly. Sounds like the one you posted is the same as the one that notjust & I posted links to above - they've been named now then.

There are two on the BBC front page this morning, both in Shropshire. This article names one of the women as Jill Nevitt.

StoodAProleyCattleShed Sat 18-Dec-10 11:04:50

I thought of this thread when I saw in the news that the LAPD has published photographs of 160 women found in the home of a man who has already been charged with the murder of 10 women. I don't know their names

ElfPantsAtMidnightMass Sat 18-Dec-10 21:10:41

I hadn't heard about that Proles - have you got a link?

StoodAProleyCattleShed Sat 18-Dec-10 22:28:46

here

It's heartbreaking to read this thread

hellymelly Sat 18-Dec-10 22:35:11

this was on a friends facebook page recently.He thought it was really funny.It wasn't sent to me so I haven't responded yet,I'm lost for words tbh. www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXy1iiQgOAM

StoodAProleyCattleShed Sat 18-Dec-10 22:42:06

I'm at a loss as to why anyone would find that funny tbh, I mean why?!

Re: the news report I linked to, it bloody sickens me that the killer gets glamourized in reports like this (even in a 'quality' paper like the guardian).

hellymelly Sat 18-Dec-10 22:56:41

I was equally shocked by the fact that some of his friends found it so funny that they had to watch it all over again.

StoodAProleyCattleShed Sat 18-Dec-10 23:00:28

confused

I don't get the joke <humourless feminazi>

dittany Sun 19-Dec-10 10:03:17

Some men think the idea of killing women is funny. Women remind those kind of men that they are worthless assholes (see guy in vid) so they need to be eliminated.

Helly, I'd rethink your friendship if I was you, with any men who are laughing at that, because they hate women and they aren't hiding it very well.

notjustapotforsoup Sun 19-Dec-10 11:52:43
hellymelly Sun 19-Dec-10 22:58:23

He is a gay guy,has always seemed really woman friendly,so I was honestly shocked to see that on his profile.Crap isn't it.

Treats Wed 22-Dec-10 09:48:05

Oh good god - I've just been reading the details of this case on the train into work this morning. Feel utterly sick and wretched. Don't read it if you're easily distressed.

Susan Rushworth
Suzanne Blamires
Shelley Armitage

Susan Rushworth had three children including a ten year old son.

The report in the Times made a specific reference to his controlling behaviour with former girlfriends:

"Every relationship he embarked upon with a woman ended unhappily. Girlfriends initially warmed to a man who seemed shy and polite. He had a sharp sense of humour and could be charming. All too soon, each found herself in the hands of someone who wanted to dominate her, utterly."

One girlfriend described her experience:

"He allegedly punched and headbuttd her, once breaking her nose for having the temerity to talk to another man. She was not allowed to leave the flat without him and in public he insisted on holding her hand "in a tight grip"."

The report suggests that he was probably a psychopath:

"To such a person, the only function of Susan Rushworth, Shelley Armitage and Suzanne Blamires was to satisfy his pathological desire to possess and then eradicate them. The act of c*********m was his ultimate power trip."

(My stars - I've blocked out that word in case you haven't read about the case and don't want to know any more.)

This differs from some of the cases that we've highlighted because this man's victims weren't already in a relationship with him, but it seems to me as if the controlling behaviour he showed with former girlfriends was escalated by his psychopathy until he was just appallingly dangerous to women.

There's a lot of speculation in the report about why such a dangerous man was unmonitored by mental health services. To me, it seems that it stems from the same failings that we've seen from the police and the courts - that controlling behaviour towards women falls into the boundaries of 'normal' behaviour and doesn't raise alarm bells.

Treats Wed 22-Dec-10 09:52:14

Just been catching up with the rest of this thread after my earlier post and am really shocked to see how many more examples have been posted just in the last few weeks......

ElephantsAndMiasmas Mon 10-Jan-11 00:41:05

Wendy Adlard, few details available as yet.

BelleDameSansMerci Mon 17-Jan-11 14:19:07

Laura Smith last July but court result here. The verdict was murder.

ElephantsAndMiasmas Fri 21-Jan-11 01:00:16

Susan Smith from East Dunbartonshire, alleged to have been strangled by her husband, Jack Smith.

ElephantsAndMiasmas Thu 27-Jan-11 17:31:19

Julie Ann Fenton, stabbed to death by her partner David Paul Jones last July.

The BBC reported that "The Crown Prosecution Service said Jones had a history of mistreating woman with whom he had previous relationships".

He was sentenced to life, to serve a minimum of 17 years.

Prolesworth Sun 06-Feb-11 18:10:35

Message withdrawn

dittany Tue 08-Feb-11 17:27:34

Aasiya Zubair Hassan murdered by her husband because she tried to divorce him after a brutal abusive marriage. He also attempted to blacken her name during the trial.

ElephantsAndMiasmas Thu 10-Feb-11 20:14:09

Joanne Oliver killed by her abusive husband Brian Oliver aged just 32. According to the BBC: 'Their relationship was described as "volatile", with Oliver being "possessive and controlling". Oliver told a park workman that his wife had 'cheated on him' The court was also told Oliver would "drink excessively" and was sometimes violent to Mrs Oliver. They were in the process of breaking up and had been living apart, prosecutor Graham Wood QC said."

Another violent man killing his wife as she tries to leave

ElephantsAndMiasmas Thu 10-Feb-11 20:16:32

Also Toni Rudman, 24, who was beaten and kicked to death by Ryan Backhouse, a complete stranger, after he was dumped by his girlfriend.

Any woman would do for this guy it seems.

ElephantsAndMiasmas Thu 10-Feb-11 20:21:24

God dittany I just read the one you posted shock

"In handing up its guilty verdict, the jury also repudiated the claims of Hassan, 46, that he Ô not his wife -- was the victim of battered spouse syndrome." - one of those guys eh?

And this: "[The killer] also said the judge, prosecutors, police officers and medical professionals who testified against him did so based on their preconceived notion that only women can be abuse victims. In closing arguments, he referred to their adherence to a "religion of patriarchy.""

Isn't it funny how the people who hate and despise feminism never turn out to be the good guys?

Naimo Moalin

Only in the country a couple of days and refused him sex.

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