Mumsnet Talk

So - this is the first thread I've started within the Feminism section, but I'm a long-time lurker and occasional poster.

I've been motivated to start a thread by this story from last week, and then also by this both in the last few days. (There was another one too but i can't find the link at the moment).

Every few weeks, it seems to me from reading the newspapers, a woman is killed by her husband or lover. Sometimes her children are harmed too.

My DH would like to argue that every single murder is an isolated incident, and caused entirely by factors only relevant to that one man. I argue that these cases are manifestations of misogyny, and that these are not isolated examples, but are all linked. He finds this an uncomfortable point of view, because of what it suggests about him, about us, about our friends.

I think that misogyny is similar to an epidemic - say, swine flu. It's infectious. It affects a significant proportion of the population, but not all. Of those affected, only a minority are severely affected. But it can be fatal - not for the sufferer, but for those close to them.

I don't know how many others here agree with me, but I do see a number of posts from some people who most definitely wouldn't. So the thread I want to start is to collect examples of victims of misogynist violence - women who were killed because they subverted their husbands and boyfriends desire to control them. I want people who visit this board with doubts about why feminism is necessary and justified to read my thread with its examples of victims and to start joining the dots for themselves.

Those posters who think that misandry is equivalent to misogyny are free to post their examples too (of women killing men).

If this thread (or something like it) already exists, then please point me to it and I will post there.

What always struck me about family annihilators is how they used to be portrayed as some kind of noble, tortured person full of love who just couldn't bear it all going wrong for his family so killed them all. I think this angle has changed a bit recently.

Best I ever read on this was a tweet that said if you feel the urge to annihilate your family do everyone a favour and start with yourself first.

Excellent idea for a thread - there is a site that collates victims of murder by their husbands/partners/exes but it's never very up to date.

Amanda Sorrell is the latest from my area.

How about we post a link, and then add the name to a running list?

Jane Clough

Unnamed 23 year old, Bradford.

Amanda Sorrell

And this - just on the radio this afternoon. "No one was to blame" apparently. Some of these women are victims twice - first by the men who killed them and then by the officials who fail to investigate or sentence properly.

Jane Clough

Unnamed 23 year old, Bradford.

Amanda Sorrell

Arsema Darwit

This was on the news earlier in the week. I'm going to a workshop called "Violence against women as hate crime?" at the Feminism conference this weekend - will report back (info about halfway down)

Jane Clough

Unnamed 23 year old, Bradford.

Amanda Sorrell

Arsema Darwit

Asha Muneer

This was reported yesterday although the murder happened a few weeks ago.

Jane Clough

Unnamed 23 year old, Bradford.

Amanda Sorrell

Arsema Darwit

Asha Muneer

Geeta Aulakh

According to the fawcett society, a woman a week is killed by her ex/partner. Hell of a coincidence isn't it that men simply aren't killed by their ex/spouses.

According to The House of Commons Library Domestic violence statistics Standard Note: SN/SG/950 Last updated: 10th March 2010,

"Between 1995 and 2009, 47 per cent of the 3,249 murdered women and 12 per cent of the 6,806 murdered men, were killed by a partner or ex-partner."

I calculate that to be an average of 2 women and 1 man murdered each week in the UK by their partner or ex-partner.

The sex of the murderer is not given in the report.

Another one here

Jane Clough

Unnamed 23 year old, Bradford.

Amanda Sorrell

Arsema Darwit

Asha Muneer

Geeta Aulakh

Patricia Bardon

Thanks EvilAnts. At least bail was refused this time - too much to hope that the judge might have learned something from the Jane Clough case though.

They're not releasing too much information on this case yet, but it seems likely that we'll be adding Rebecca Aylward to our list in the future. She was so young

As I mentioned on another thread a really good friend of mine is a fellow (as in ship) psychiatrist and she came round last night for drinks. She gets involved in DV cases due to the anxiety suffered by women and getting court orders and so on. She says that a few areas in Bristol breed DV and violence generally. She also has a woman who is so anxious that her exh will kill her that she can't be properly diagnosed as she can't speak coherently, she spends the whole session pacing up and down and looking out of the window. There's no cash to rehouse her miles away, apparently. If these men were threatening their bosses like they have their wives or gfs they would be locked up, no?

I have just delivered cake to a local project who help women escape from DV!! (thanks to the Bristol Feminist Network).

Of course they would Posie. Can't believe that women living with the threat of violence aren't re-housed as a matter of priority.

(BTW - what does "as in ship" mean?)

maybe a psychiatry fellow? as in academic?

fellowship....as opposed to jolly good fellow!!

Yay! Evil

It took me a minute but I got there (after initial "I didn't know Posie lived on a ship" revelation)

Looks like another one here although they haven't found her yet.

Jane Clough

Unnamed 23 year old, Bradford.

Amanda Sorrell

Arsema Darwit

Asha Muneer

Geeta Aulakh

Patricia Bardon

Joanna Brown

They've just found a body in the Joanna Brown investigation.......

No lives lost here but I'm posting it because the victims were so young and because of the systematic way that they were abused.

Jane Clough

Unnamed 23 year old, Bradford.

Amanda Sorrell

Arsema Darwit

Asha Muneer

Geeta Aulakh

Patricia Bardon

Joanna Brown

Unidentified teenagers, Rotherham

Zahra Baker. A ten year old girl who was put in the custody of her father because her mother supposedly suffered from PND. He then took her from her home in Australia to the US. She survived bone cancer but lost her leg. Her mother had just tracked her down on the internet to get in contact when she was reported missing. Her stepmother is in prison for faking a kidnap note and her father is in prison on other charges.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1326341/Zahra-Bak ers-father-did-kinda-horrifying-childs-body.html?i to=feeds-newsxml

treats, I think this is a wonderful idea for a thread, but without links, will people (I mean, doubters with a huge invested interest in denying that the phenomenon exists) bother to google these women?

It would be easier to follow the thread actually if each victim had one post, saying who she was and what happened to her (maybe bold the victim's name and age) rather than creating a running list in each post. The thread itself could work as the running list.

It's a very good idea for a thread BTW, should have added that.

And also those who got away with nearly killing their partners. See this 'man' regularly around here.

menmedia.co.uk/stockportexpress/news/s/1081870_med ia_boss_who_beat__up_woman_in_street_attack_escape s_prison_

can't believe that guy got a suspended sentence - is there any excuse for that?

It's a disgrace but unfortunately as we all know, not unusual.

He nearly killed her. She was in intensive care for over a week.