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Any anxious obsessives out there ?(79 Posts)
I think I might be a bit, I don't know, a bit overly anxious and obsessive.
This have come to ahead recently, I went for a night out and can't remember bits, I am filling my head with all sorts of things I might have said and done. None of them that logical, but I feel really anxious about it. I have spoken to a friend who said I was fine, spoken to loads of people afterwards who haven't said I was out of line, but my body doesn't seem to react to logical thinking.
I have always been like this, over thinking everything, obsessing about it and working it over in my mind till my heart is pounding and my head is knotted. I over think everything that most people wouldn't give a second thought.
What can I do ? I know I could see a GP, what would they say ?
Is anyone else like this ?
Yep. I take citalopram and had cbt. I feel a million times better than I did. Seeing your GP is a great start.
Thanks Snakey. I know I should see my gp, I just don't want to because then it means I actually have something wrong with me. I know how silly that sounds, because I am starting to realise I actually might have something wrong with me and I want to feel better.
The thing is, you do have something wrong - you have anxiety (as do i) but it is very treatable, you may need medication or you may need counselling to adress the negative thoughts. But you can sort it out.
I too am on citalopram. As are many people who i know.
I know, I know that, it's a weird feeling to realise that me worrying is more than that, although it's strangely reassuring to know it's not just me and it can get better.
I will phone GP tomorrow.
Thanks for replying.
It is scary and of course having anxiety makes it scarier. I am very open about my condition and as a result lots have people have said they are on medication for anxiety so you are definitely not alone.
Thanks Lem, it is scary. At the moment I get waves, which in a way is ok because at least I get a break from the tense gut and panicked feeling, I am really trying to watch nice things on tv and not drink too much coffee. Does anything else help ?
I am really sorry you feel like this. I used to feel this way too, it was agonising and all consuming. I thought it was just me but I read up on it and found that it was definitely 'a real thing' and that others suffered too. Talking therapy can be excellent. Don't be afraid to see your GP, try to be brave and take steps to stop the suffering you are experiencing.
Yes, me, try CBT. For me this anxiety is a classic negative automatic thought and CBT really helps identify those and figure out a strategy to deal with them
Thanks, talking about it to people who understand makes it seem a lot less daunting. I actually feel like I can sort it out, I felt a bit hopeless before.
I think my Mum has it too tbh and my Nana, I see so many of my anxious traits in them, and when it's them it so easy to say no come on, that's not what is going to happen, it's harder to do to yourself.
Thanks so much for your replies, they really have helped. I don't feel so anxious about calling GP now.
What do I say though ? Shall I say what I said in my op ?
Yes - it would be a start. Ive picked up that your thoughts bother you and wont stop once they start - unwanted negative thoughts. Mention that you feel it physically -the pit of stomach feeling.
What helps me with the thoughts is giving myself a talking to. Sort of come across all school mistressy and lay it on the line why the thoughts are irrational. Once ive gone past a certain stage that doesnt help though.
What surprised me recently was chamomile tea -had a recent health scare and was in a bad way mentally. In desperation I bought some (its an acquired taste! !). It really helps me and ive becone a bit of a herbal tea addict.bachs rescue remedy is good too
Alcohol knocks me back so I avoid
I am on citalopram which is what helps me more than anything.
Oh and please dont be worried abouf talking to gp. They will have heard it msny times before
Perhaps write down your thoughts before you see gp?
This is so common. Medication really helps. Be brave!!
Yes, that's exactly it Lem, unwanted negative thoughts and they just snowball. To the point where I can convince myself they're true and get myself worked up in to a horrible state.
I spoke to a mate today and said I was worried about being a pita when we went out, she was like what are you on about, why worry we had a good night. I am relieved in a way because some of the anxiety has lifted, because I know I didn't do anything wrong, but in kind of highlights that I really need to get it sorted, I have been doing this for so long it seems almost normal.
Got a GP appointment for the 9th. Dp is off that day, so I won't have to arrange childcare.
Feeling a lot less anxious and a lot more positive.
Thanks so much, you have really helped.
I'm exhausting myself recently with over thinking and 'what ifs.'
I'm starting counselling next week, I'm sure it'll help.
Its horrible Dame, sorry you feel like this too.
Hope the counselling helps.
Thanks, hope your appt goes well too
Thanks Dame, I feel a lot better today. My heart is still a bit racey and I am really tired but otherwise ok. Not many negative thoughts, which is the worse thing I think, it makes you doubt what is real or logical.
I feel tons better knowing I have a plan in place, at least I'm being proactive I suppose. The woman I'm going to see specialises in anxiety-perfect!
Loving the name Dame! i do like a bit of diazepam from time to time! It is most definately good that you have a plan in place, help you to take control which is what i feel we often need with anxiety, the ability to take control but also not to fall apart when things are beyond our control. I know it sounds really trite and im not especially religeous but i often think of this prayer - sometimes it helps, sometimes i need the diazepam!
The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
There is more, but this is the bit that i remember and TRY to think about when i feel things spiralling out of control - you don't have to believe in god or anything i don't think, just the sentiment.
I like the serenity prayer Lem, a very good sentiment. I will try to repeat it to myself when I can feel myself getting worked up.
Not feeling that great so far today, I know I just have to talk myself down and relax, Trying to distract myself on the property porn thread.
One of the dts woke me up at 5. Yes 5, his eyes are not tired and his tummy was hungry apparently. I was going to try and sleep on the sofa for a bit, but my heart is pounding too much now.
Might try a shower instead.
It is often worse in the morning as that's when your cortisol levels peak. I often wake up in a state of panic. It does get better as the day goes on.
Proprty porn is a great distraction
Have you had a look at the headspace app? Free trial and not woo but mindfulness which is a great way to relax.
Property porn good too!!!
Hi. I'm just beginning to realise that that feeling I live with is not normal. That what I feel all the time is anxiety. It's nothing else, just anxiety all the time and about everything.
I over think everything to the point it's a running joke with everyone I know. I'm always worrying, I'm paranoid, I think everyone's against me, is horrid. Ok, I know people aren't against me, I know that really, but they are. Do you know what I mean?
I'm sat here now trying to decide whether to hit post or not..........
My DH suffers in a similar way so I have huge sympathy. CBT has helped him although it's still an ongoing struggle. He talks a lot about identifying 'category 3' worries or things he can do nothing about and so can stop thinking about. It's cutting off the urge to ruminate as quickly as possible which is the key I think. Two things have helped him recently: (1) mindfulness, mindfulness, mindfulness. He has a course thing and makes time for this every day even when he's feeling ok; and (2) a very simple acceptance that he is an anxious person. This means that he doesn't need to think through every crisis or concern in immense detail. Often it's enough to say, I am an anxious person and this is the anxiety speaking.
I am glad you pressed post Silvery I know exactly what you mean, with me I am always worried that I have done something wrong, maybe upset someone or fucked up somehow. It is exhausting.
I will look in to headspace thanks for that suggestion twenty
I feel ok now, still waves of anxiety and overthinking silly unimportant things. I have been out all day, which has been good, taken my mind off things. Keeping busy seems to help as does being outside.
It really does seem worse in the mornings Lem, it's nice to know there is a reason for that.
Hope you're all ok, thanks for the support.
I've been doing mindful breathing using the qi gong Android free app, it's really helpful.
It's been a few weeks that I've seriously entertained the thought that this isn't just a quirk, that life isn't supposed to or have to be like this. But, if I seek advice from a gp and they want to medicate and book therapy, what if it makes it better? Who would I be without the extreme and constant worry?
Reading this I almost feel relieved that how I feel isn't normal. I'm like this all the time. I can't enjoy myself without anxiety afterwards.
The poster that mentioned morning panic really hit home. I wake up in such a depressed/anxious state. If I don't get up fast I am a mess. I've got presentations coming up at work and I've found myself obsessing over how I can hurt myself so I don't have to do them.
I am on Citalopram and in the middle of CBT. I had begun to feel better but am going through a bad patch at them moment and struggling to use some of the CBT strategies. I am not eating or sleeping and have a constant knotted stomach at the moment.
I hope to try and pull myself together and get back on track as I so hate feeling like this. I am aiming to do some work on the strategies I have been taught to try and feel better.
Sorry to jump in but to those of you suffering from anxiety- do you suffer this all the time?
I don't know if some people with anxiety feel ok much of the time (when you are at work etc) but in stressful situations feel completely out of control. I've been advised to see a GP rather urgently but today I've had a really good day and feel fine. On a difficult day I might feel anxious/tearful much of the day and on another once or twice during that day.
Like most people on this thread I do overthink most of the time.
I overthink too. I have bad anxiety - GAD.
Citalopram didn't do anything for me, but now I take a high dase of Propanolol and that is working, much of the time. Sometimes it doesn't, but that's less regular, so I can cope with that now.
I've got an understanding GP who puts me back on track with sleeping tablets and new meds when I need them, so I don't feel like I'm going to be in crisis forever.
Dys-no, not all the time at all, today had been fine, sometimes I can go weeks and I'm fine.
Beta blockers (Propanolol). I've been on them for the last fortnight, and they are bloody marvellous - they definitely reduce the anxiety levels. Quite why no GPs have suggested them up until now I have no idea - much better than some of the ADs I've been on over the years.
Other than that I don't really have many answers. I try and write things down and make lists to try and ensure that I remember things. I'm also trying to really hard to slow down, and try to focus on one thing as opposed to flitting from thing to thing in a panic.
I had a bad day on Friday - lost my keys on the way home from school, asked my son to hang out a washing, which he did - only thing was, I hadn't actually washed the clothes, clicked on a link to my Paypal account from an email (it was a scam, surprise surprise, and I was this close >< to giving them my details, and then to top it off I forgot my friend was coming to pick up DC3 for something in the afternoon and went out. Ended up sobbing uncontrollably and shaking as a result (upped my beta blockers as a result!)
Dysfunctional - I don't suffer all the time. But mine is getting gradually worse. I suffer most in the mornings and mine is related mainly to certain situations. Presentations, public speaking, potentially embarrassing situations. I think mine is tied up with depression and low self esteem but I don't really know, I can't get any perspective as I don't know what's 'normal'. I also think negative thoughts most of the time.
Ok that's good to know as I thought the Dr might think I'm wasting their time. I don't get anxious about going to the doctor so I'm probably going to appear very together. I don't even know what I'm going to say apart from my reactions to stressful situations are getting gradually more extreme.
I feel what I'm now thinking is anxiety all the time. It's constant and has been for as long as I can remember. I don't definitely know that it's anxiety but something someone said to me a few weeks ago made me think <shock horror>
The things I experience:
Difficulty falling asleep, and staying asleep. I don't remember ever having a full nights sleep. I'm awake every hour and half/2 hours.
Fear that the worst will happen in every situation, and needing to prepare for that worst.
Thinking that if someone doesn't answer their phone, I must have pissed them off
Everything needs to be done NOW and at full speed. Even cooking dinner, everything is put on the highest setting because I'm inpatient and need to stand there constantly stirring and checking
I think if you can do something quick, why do it slow? Dp is the complete opposite and drives me crazy
Negativity, everything has a negative spin on it. I'm the one there's no pleasing
I feel uncomfortable if someone is looking at me
I hate to be touched
People are talking about me, I know they are (I know they're not really)
I have to have a plan, I don't like to do things on the spur of the moment or whatever, I don't like to just go somewhere without at east 24 hour notice
I have lists for everything. I have to cross things off as I do them. Even things I'd never forget or not do, like get up, or get dressed.
Some part of my body needs to be moving all the time. Normally my leg, I just jig and shake it around, especially if I'm sitting down.
I day dream, but nothing is actually happening. It's like an absence of some kind and then I have to say to myself (not out loud) get back in the room Silvery
I shudder a lot, just randomly, like an extreme shiver, but can be really bad. My line manager, the first time she saw it thought I was having a seizure.
I get noticable heart palpatations, just sitting on the sofa watching tv.
I have what I call 'anxiety belly'. If I am nervous my bowel gets effected. I have to 'go' after I've been on the motorway, for example (tmi)
I talk. A lot. Even when I don't want to say anything, I can't keep my mouth shut, gets me in lots of trouble at work!
Something's not right with me, it's been like this forever. Apparently it's not normal......?
I also catch myself imagining the worst. Like I'll be driving my car and thinking 'if it catches on fire, how will I get the dc's out quick enough? There are child locks on the doors.' Or 'the person behind us on this platform will push us. How will I get back on the platform before a train comes?' 'If the flat downstairs catches fire, and we can't get out of the main door, we'll have to throw the sofa cushions out the window and jump' the list goes on.
I mean I think it's ok to have a plan, like the fire thing, but other people think I'm weird.
SilveryMoon so that sounds like a generalised anxiety disorder in that it effects every aspect of your life every day. I hope you are getting the treatment you need.
Hmm. I've always thought that's just me, you know, just a few little quirks that make me me.
But it is some kind of anxiety disorder? Maybe I should see the gp then, but what would be left if I took treatment that removed who I am?
It sounds mad when I read all that back, but it's ok. I'm ok. I suspect I'm hard to get along with, or live with.
OP don't be worried about seeking help. There is nothing wrong with you other than anxiety which thousands of people have. Some people are predisposed, some aren't. The annoying thing about anxiety is that the more you fight it the more it gets, sometimes you need some help to calm the anxiety so you can start treating yourself.
I am on treatment for anxiety after having a breakdown. Before the treatment I was anxious about the anxiety and nothing anyone said or did changed that. With the anxiety medication it calmed my mind enough to get it under control. I still have moments each day where I feel it could spiral but with meds and self help it passes quickly. Nothing is going to happen to you, anxiety is just thoughts that cause scary physical symptoms that are actually entirely normal and healthy.
Sorry you had a shit day Friday Sir glad the beta blockers helped, it's good to hear that the medication really does help.
Mine isn't usually constant, I have had a really bad week where every day I have had a really bad spot of overwhelming anxiety. Usually I will go for a week or so with out it happening but will always over think things.
I feel like a bit of a fraud going to the gp too, because I could and might be fine by then and for a while after, but I think it's worth going just to help with the times when it's not ok.
I've got a question to the people who already take medication, hope that's ok.
Is it lifelong medication ? Is anxiety like diabetes or epilepsy and if you have it there is no cure, or does therapy eventually hep so you can come off the meds ?
Just sitting here mulling things over, but trying not to overthink them
Hope everyone is ok, it's been a lovely sunny day here.
I think you can just take beta blockers as you need them, from what I remember the GP saying (I wasn't in the best frame of mind when I saw her so may not be remembering correctly, but am pretty sure that's what she said).
No, it can be taken as needed. I haven't really had anxiety like this for about ten years.
Silverymoon "But it is some kind of anxiety disorder? "
Of course I'm not qualified to answer that but maybe worth looking into and seeing if it rings bells for you. But no need to see GP if it's not affecting the quality of life to the extent that something needs to change.
I agree with a lot of what you say though about the anxiety being such an integral part of your personality its hard to know what you would be like without it.
I've been taking rescue remedy-don't giving a flying fuck if it's a placebo or not, it works a treat
That's good to know, thanks. Obviously if you need to take them you need to take them, but I find the idea of taking medication forever a bit daunting.
I have always been anxious and over thought things, this has been a lot worse than normal though. I have only ever been like this once before and that was many years ago.
What does therapy actually do ? Sorry, I know that sounds silly. Will it help stop anxiety completely or does it help you sort yourself out before you spiral out of control ?
I will have to get some Dame, I have heard it's really good, I would much rather pay out for a placebo than feel like crap and try to talk myself down.
I can also really recommend Emotional Freedom Technique (or tapping as it's also known) - my Community Psych Nurse used this with me and it definitely stopped the obsessive and anxious thoughts. Youtube have got some good videos, or have a look on the website
That looks great Sir, thanks. Will try it out.
Thanks just had a go, yes it seems to help. Will keep on going with it.
Actually wow, I feel quite calm and ...fine. I hid in the loo and watched it on my phone while the dts ate breakfast, was feeling a bit niggly and anxious and feel good now.
Sometimes hiding in the loo is the only way, isn't it? I'm glad it was of help, and hope you feel better soon.
Ahhhh, I am really nervous. Got a gp appointment today, just about to go now. I did have one for the 9th but I feel too crap to wait.
Keep on having loads of anxious spiraling thoughts, when I step away from it it all seems so silly but I really can't keep on top of it.
Tell the GP exactly what you have said on this thread. Good luck
Hope your appt went ok OP? x
Thanks, it went really well actually, he was really nice and sympathetic. He want to do some tests to see if it is my thyroid as anxiety is a common symptom of that and go from there. He says it won't take long to get the results and he would rather make sure he knows what he is treating.
Tests are tomorrow morning so should get the results early next week.
Feel a lot better for talking about it with him.
to everyone for your kind worlds and support. It really means a lot thank you.
Glad it went well, good that he's so thorough x
Well done!! First step- glad he was helpful
Thanks, it feels good to take that first step. I am headed in the right direction.
How are you feeling snark?
Ok thanks, thank you for asking.
Better than I was, but still anxious. I have good and bad times in the day. More good than bad though and I am able to talk myself down. Onwards and upwards.
I am still obsessing about this bloody stupid night out, I wish I hadn't gone and it's silly, such a silly thing to be worried about. I have spoken to so many people who have said I was great fun, I didn't make a fool of myself or upset anyone, I didn't argue with anyone. Etc etc but some how I find myself worrying about what I might have done, what repercussions might be, what people are really saying about me.
I have always worried about upsetting people though, always. I have always worried about coming across as an arse or people thinking bad of me.
When I get anxious and obsess about something, it's usually about that.
I think I need to sort that out tbh, if it's sort outable
How are you doing Dame ?
Hove you started therapy yet ?
Oh God I know what you mean,I went out recently with a group of really good friends plus one woman that I didn't know at all-I obsessed about EVERYTHING from what I was going to wear to what I'd talk about with this new person. It was ridiculous as she was utterly lovely but I am still thinking about it
Therapy starts Thursday
Glad you're able to talk yourself down. Did I mention rescue remedy? It really helps me when I get a bit 'hyperventilaty.'I don't care if it's a placebo
I only have two friends that I can be completely relaxed around tbh, everyone else I find hard work even though I love them
Yes up you did, I meant to get some today and forgot. I will get some though, lots of people have said it helps. I think I heard that the emergency services carry it to help with shock.
I find people hard work too, I am ok when I am there but get nervous and anxious about meeting up with people, even people I am really close to.
Good luck for Thursday, I hope it goes well for you.
I got most of the test results back, so far so normal. Thyroid is normal, so it looks like it's anxiety causing my anxiety rather than anything else.
I am <touches wood> starting to feel better, despite waking up in full blown panic mode this morning. I am getting better at not letting my thoughts spiral and feel like I can function in normal life when I am feeling anxious.
I have got some rescue remedy and kalms, I have also got nytol to help me sleep, I think I go to sleep being scared of waking up anxious which isn't helping. So hope they will help me sleep through.
I have to wait for the rest of the results to come through and see where we go from there.
Oh sorry I forgot, best of luck for Thursday Dame I hope you start to feel better soon.
Actually what I am most anxious about now is the anxiety, I am not so bad with the spiraling thoughts, but I still get waves of the physical feeling of it and it scares me, I don't like it and dread it coming.
A bit like when your little and you know your gong to be sick and try to fight it.
When I was at my most anxious I had a Walkman (long time ago) with audio book cassettes do if I woke up I just plugged myself in straight away and listened to a story. It really helped. It was my sister's idea, Mel Gibson reading My Cousin Rachel was fab in the middle of an anxious night
I'm getting a bit twitchy about Thursday in case I cry, which I probably will
Yes I am have suffered with anxiety of some form or other all my life, think it is in the genes, diazepam helps best although effect is temporary & addiction is easy (been taking it @ least 25 years though) probably tried every a/d going have Effexor now also have depression ( I think I was born depressed - my first words @ birth were probably put me back) so I have ocd ...........only positive is I am not as aggressive as I used to be like always falling out with ppl Oh & I have never been able to make friends........that inner fear that I hide well probably stems from childhood & having BAD TEMPERED scary father.............to summarise Im a total nut job but if anyone can bear to chat with me Id really appreciate it ;-)
Well,I had my appt this morning and bawled through the entire hour she was lovely though and very helpful and although I was tearful I now feel greatly relieved I have a 'plan' in place. Seeing her again next week. If anyone's dithering about going, just go, if you REALLY don't like it, you don't have to go again.
Hi Dave <waves>
Dame I am so glad things are looking up. How did you access it ? Through your GP ?
No, the waiting list is 6 months with gp but might be shorter elsewhere. Luckily we have private health insurance through Dh's work.
Ah actually dp has been going on about putting me on his, it's just something we haven't got round to doing.
Will cbt still work if I am not going through an overly anxious phase ? I always over think things but not to the extent I have recently and the anxiety is sometimes ok. Do I have to wait till I am in a bit of a mess or is it ok to go when things have calmed down.
How are you feeling today ?
No,I was having a good day when I went, we just talked about how I feel on a bad day and a good day. Tbh I felt very delicate yesterday and teary BUT really relieved and I slept amazingly.
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