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Please tell me happy antidepressant stories

(32 Posts)
BluBurd Sat 08-Mar-14 11:17:46

I am having a really hard day. I honestly feel completely and utterly hopeless and heartbroken.

I'd really love to hear some positive stories about antidepressants. I'm on sertraline, just about to increase to 100mg today and I am desperate to believe they are going to help me.

I'd love to know what it felt like when they really kicked in. I can't have therapy yet as I am too unstable, so basically I am existing for the meds to work.

LastingLight Sat 08-Mar-14 12:31:21

Hey BluBurd. I'm sorry to hear things are so hard at the moment. ((HUGS)) Sertraline made a big positive difference to me, unfortunately I cannot remember how long it took or what my dosage was as it was years ago. What day are you on now, around 8? It is too early to start worrying that it's not going to work, you will just have to hang in there and wait. Hopefully the higher dose will make a difference.

BluBurd Sat 08-Mar-14 12:33:07

Thanks LastingLight, I'm really struggling today, fighting back tears constantly and grieving for my old life.

I have been on the 50mg of sertraline for 12 days now. I'm so scared of the dose increase. My mental state is so fragile, I don't know if I could handle the same side effects I had when I started sad

WomanScorned Sat 08-Mar-14 12:39:17

Hi,
Sorry you're feeling so crappy.
Sertraline has changed my life - seriously.
I started on 50, then increased to 100, then 150. I didn't get the same side effects when I increased, as I did when I first started taking them, ie, the heavy limbs, dizziness and lethargy.
I'm not sure I can pinpoint when they started working, but I realised they were, after only 2-3 weeks.
My friend also takes them. Twice, she has run out and not taking them for 4-5 days and it was noticeable almost instantly.
Bear with them - I really hope they help you as they have helped me.

LastingLight Sat 08-Mar-14 13:06:34

Don't be scared of the higher dose. I've been on many different ad's and I've very rarely had bad side effects because of dosage increases.

PublicEnemyNumeroUno Sat 08-Mar-14 18:55:52

Hi smile

I have been on 100mg Sertraline for about 4 or 5 months now, and in all honesty i have never felt as happy and positive in all my life. I actually feel on top of the world, nothing bothers me anymore, i wake up actually looking forward to my day.

Things will get better x

ShoeWhore Sat 08-Mar-14 18:59:17

Sorry to hear things are so tough Blu

It worked brilliantly for me. I started feeling noticeably better about 2-3 weeks in and then kept gradually improving for a few weeks more.

Hang on in there Blu it will get better.

Would it help to talk to us more about how you're feeling today?

BluBurd Sat 08-Mar-14 19:07:05

Thank you for the stories, I am due to take the 100mg tonight and really trying to be brave.

Shoewhore, I just want to get out of this nightmare. I am barely functioning, only to look after the kids when they need me too. Other than that I am constantly on my phone, searching the internet for answers,cures,help,anything. Or crying and crying because the way I am scares me and it feels like I won't get better.

I only really have my mum and my exhusband, but my mum is starting to get down too, because of me and I have to be careful with my exhusband to not lead him on. I have to move in two weeks too. I need to be brave and take the new dose. I don't know what I will do if the tablets don't work for me sad

DioneTheDiabolist Sat 08-Mar-14 19:41:06

Hi Blu, I was on antiDepressant medication when I was in my early 20s. I think they took about 6 weeks to work, but once they did the result was clear. I felt like someone pulled my head out of the water.

Instead of feeling like I was drowning, I could see clearly for the first time in ages. They gave me headspace and the clarity to see what environmental factors were having an impact and change them. I really felt that I could breathe and see again. I made some changes and came off them a few months later.

I hope that your antidepressants start helping soon.thanks

anchories Sat 08-Mar-14 20:07:40

Can I ask what your environmental factors were Dione?

DioneTheDiabolist Sat 08-Mar-14 20:55:49

My main environmental factor was my job Anchories. I had loved it but following sexual harassment (me and a collegue complained, our complaint was upheld) I found myself in a situation whereby I was the target of a vendetta by my harasser's friends.sad

It was all low level stuff, but had a cumulative effect on my MH. The headspace granted by the antiDs made me realise that although I loved my job, my workplace was a source of deep unhappiness for me.

Does that make sense?confused

anchories Sat 08-Mar-14 21:06:31

Yes, lots of sense!
I too was on them like you for a short time. Nothing like for your reason. When I took them, I was not sure that they ever did any good, but what they did give me was hope.
And I found that the hope was vital.

DioneTheDiabolist Sat 08-Mar-14 21:20:58

If they gave you hope, then they did their job.smile. When depression hits, it's like a fog that prevents you seeing where you are, what's happening and how to get out. It impacts every part of your life.

My antiDs gave me clarity, yours gave you hope. I think the most important thing is that they give you the realization that life doesn't have to be as awful as it feels when depressed.

anchories Sat 08-Mar-14 21:30:47

BluBurd. Have you any idea why it is happening or what may have started or triggered it?

omletta Sat 08-Mar-14 21:33:41

Sertraline, for me, is a wonder drug. I'm six weeks in and feel soooo much better. I can't describe it other than to say I am no longer cross, angry or shouty.
Stick with it.

BluBurd Sat 08-Mar-14 21:45:10

I know what brought it to crisis point. I had a hard year last year. A cancer scare, pneumonia which reoccurred, I cut my wrist open in December and was in a psychologically abusive relationship for seven months. I was working full time 6 days a week and trying to manage four children. In January, I was talked into trying some legal highs at a house party. I was with my now ex partner and had no experience of that sort of thing but him and his friends did. I had a terrible experience, believed I was about to die.

I had no idea I was being psychologically abused, my family, crisis team, police and friends have eventually got me to see things the way they were. I had to report him for harassment at the weekend unfortunately.

So the crisis team opinion is that I was already anxious and depressed before the house party but that brought things to a head. They also believe I have some trauma from the experience. They also believe I am grieving for the relationship, as awful as it was. And that there may be some trauma from the cancer scare last year.

EBearhug Sat 08-Mar-14 21:47:43

Antidepressants took a bit of time to kick in with me - a month or so, with a couple of dosage increases - but once I'd got a dose that was taking effect, I felt like things were going to be okay, that I could smile at the sun and the flowers and I felt that I was making some forward progress, even if it was slow. There are still occasional bad days, but as long as you're making more forward steps than backward steps, then the overall progress is still forwards.

MooMaid Sat 08-Mar-14 21:56:05

Hiya - first off HUGS!

Secondly, I was on sertraline for just over a year and I resented even having to go on them BUT it was the best thing I ever did and really helped me.

However, it took about a month to really kick in and I did have some crap side effects sad but I persevered because slowly, each day seems just a tad more manageable. Don't get me wrong, I had days where I stopped taking them because "I knew better" and didn't see why they were ruling me..... I soon saw the light and got back on them. Cold turkey was no joke!

I started on 50mg, went to 100mg, 150mg, back down to 100mg (thought I was ready), back up to 150mg and then, work shat on me from a great height - 200mg. However, I eventually started coming back down (over a long period of time) and I'm not even on them now!!

But you know what, they really did work for me and I needed them to help me out. 12 days is only a little time, it might seem ages but your body needs to build up a good supply. And, if they don't work don't despair - easy to say I know but all the other people I know on AD's (3) are on citilopram, not sertraline. There are alternatives but honestly, just take a day at a time xxx

MooMaid Sat 08-Mar-14 21:57:32

actually I've just worked it out and I was on them for more like 18m/2y - wow time flies.....

You can do it!

anchories Sat 08-Mar-14 22:34:17

That is some list.
I suppose the good news that can be gained from that, is that, with time, and being easy on yourself, much of that list is recoverable from.

DioneTheDiabolist Sat 08-Mar-14 22:57:54

Anchories is right. Give the medication time and be kind to yourself. You have come through so much in such a short period of time, is it any wonder your head is fried.sad

Have you been offered any talking therapy BluBurd?

BluBurd Sun 09-Mar-14 08:00:41

I'm struggling today again sad I was brave and I took the 100mg last night. I didn't sleep great, woke every hour but did go back to sleep.

This morning I am back to being shaky, pale, hot and anxiety is really high. I'm actually scared to get out of bed today. I don't want to end up in an anxious crying state, wanting to end my life again.

I am so desperate for these tablets to work. It's been two weeks, should there be some signs by now?

LastingLight Sun 09-Mar-14 11:16:17

BluBurd, for some people the first ad they try doesn't work. That's an unfortunate fact. However you need to persevere a bit longer because it can take several weeks for the meds to take effect. I do think you must give feedback to your doc so that they know what is going on and can support you. Just try and get through the day, 10 minutes at a time if you have to. Hang in there.

BluBurd Sun 09-Mar-14 15:06:20

Thanks LastingLight. I don't want to jinx it but I've actually had an okay day. I cleaned the bathroom, washed the dishes, hoovered and put clothes away. I even had a shower. All of that is more than I have done since I got ill. I also haven't had a crying fit today. Hoping this might be my first good day.

LastingLight Sun 09-Mar-14 16:18:42

Glad to hear that. smile

jojack17 Sun 09-Mar-14 21:20:29

Hi bluBurd, I've been on sertraline for about 4 months...I didn't notice a positive effect until I'd been on them about 3 and a half weeks, and then gradually day by day I felt better and better, much lighter and just able to react normally to stuff instead of being wrapped up in my own miserable thoughts. For the last week I've been horrified to feel the old anxiety symptoms creeping back. I have a feeling I may need to up my dose as I'm only on 50 mg, and even though I'm not keen on that idea, I know it may be necessary and if the doc suggests it, I'll do it. Hang in there, the sertraline will do its job, give it a bit more time, and remember, this will pass! We will all get through this crap, doing whatever we need to do, it will pass xxxx

jojack17 Sun 09-Mar-14 21:24:03

Hi bluBurd, I've been on sertraline for about 4 months...I didn't notice a positive effect until I'd been on them about 3 and a half weeks, and then gradually day by day I felt better and better, much lighter and just able to react normally to stuff instead of being wrapped up in my own miserable thoughts. For the last week I've been horrified to feel the old anxiety symptoms creeping back. I have a feeling I may need to up my dose as I'm only on 50 mg, and even though I'm not keen on that idea, I know it may be necessary and if the doc suggests it, I'll do it. Hang in there, the sertraline will do its job, give it a bit more time, and remember, this will pass! We will all get through this crap, doing whatever we need to do, it will pass xxxx

BluBurd Sun 09-Mar-14 21:58:37

Thanks jojack! I've had a good day today, not cried all day and feel happy smile

I increased my dose last night from 50mg to 100mg and I didn't have any side effects so far, so if you do have to go up, don't worry too much.

LastingLight Tue 11-Mar-14 07:04:16

How are you doing BluBurd?

BluBurd Tue 11-Mar-14 07:31:45

I'm doing okay LastingLight. Seem to be a lot more stable, haven't had crying fits for two days now and the bad thoughts are a lot less and easier to distract myself from.

I am not thinking a lot about anything to be honest as a large part of me still has trouble accepting how suddenly my life changed. I was initially diagnosed with adjustment reaction disorder and sometimes I still think that's the case. I sometimes just think...what happened to me? How did my life change so massively in one night.

I am hoping time and therapy will help me deal with that.

TrueWorrier Sun 16-Mar-14 16:41:07

Hi Bluburd glad to see you're feeling better and calmer.

I think one of the most terrifying aspects of anxiety/depression is the way it feels as though it has stolen the 'real you' and replaced you with someone else, that you just don't know or recognise sad

When I had PND, I went into hospital to have DC feeling perfectly normal, my usual bubbly self and full of confidence. When I came out of hospital just 3 days later I was a total wreak, a completely different person entirely.

Everything and anything scared me so much. I was terrified to be left alone, just wanted to be with my Mum all the time and would sob when DH left for work. I developed irrational fears such as 'fear of the dark' and 'fear of answering the phone'.

But time DOES heal an awful lot. Slowly I got used to the 'new me' even though I didn't like the new me. And with familiarity came acceptance, and then slowly I began to relax and the 'old me' started to come back.

ownedbycat Mon 17-Mar-14 13:05:00

Good news BluBird !

I found that the first two weeks at 50mg there was an effect, but I was still having days curled up under the duvet crying.
Stepping up to 100mg after two weeks, I feel very different.

I'm coping with things better, been back visiting my OH in the hospital, done some cleaning, even been feeding myself!

I'm still having problems related to the depression. Some anxiety but not the sweating and shaking that I had before the Sertraline. I find it hard to get out of bed and start the day, but I think it won't be long before I can get a night's sleep and out of bed next morning.

I take mine first thing in the morning, which might not be the best time if the amount in the blood dips in the evening - might be why I'm not sleeping. I seem to be at my best around 2pm, which would be four hours after the tablet.

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