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Can't get out of bed

(52 Posts)
Messupmum Sun 06-Oct-13 11:26:59

I don't think people who haven't suffered from depression can understand that awful feeling when you can't physically do anything.

I'm lying in bed, attempted getting up and dressed a few times but it's like wading through treacle. My body feels heavy, my head feels foggy/muzzy-hard to explain. My eyes want to close but my racing thoughts wouldn't let me sleep.

I need to get up and do things but I can't even decide what to wear, even opening a drawer to get clothes out is hard work! It's so ridiculous but when you're stuck in this place, it's horrible, scary and frustrating.

I managed to have a cup of tea earlier and a biscuit, but that took a lot of energy and I found myself back in bed. Despite eating/drinking I feel so spaced out and dizzy it's like I haven't eaten for a week.

It's sunny outside but it could be raining and miserable for all I care. I hate this illness that no one can see, but it is a daily struggle and I'm expected to get on with it.

silvermirror Sun 06-Oct-13 12:40:31

Depression is Definately under estimated, and very dibilitating effecting you mentally and physically.

It Really Does sound like yr Really struggling are you still recieving the support from the crisis Team?

U shouldnt be left to just get on with coping with depression and complex mental health conditions I really do feel you need more practical support.

Find out if yor área had a Advocasy service for mental health, they will help you get the correct services to properley assess and treat you.

Not been able to get out of bed is common in depression, its a kind of self protection from the real world, in bed we feel safer, cacooned, in the womb evenbefore we were born.

Keep on posting even if its just to sound off yr experience at least its a way of coping and yr posts will be reaching out to lots of other people who are going through similar experiences.

sicily1921 Sun 06-Oct-13 14:58:23

Hi OP, so sorry you feeling bad it must be awful. We are here for you, Keep having tea and biscuits if you need them and your bed if you can.

what help are you getting, either at home or professional? Can I help?

Hugs and love to you.

Messupmum Sun 06-Oct-13 16:26:48

Urgh I feel like I'm wasting my life, I am just here, not really living. What's the point in being here if all I want to do is hide away in bed.

I feel like there's so much I should be doing, even just going for a walk, but I just can't. So many reasons I find not to, one being I don't want anyone seeing me.

I have a cpn and having group therapy, that's the support. People see me able to cope, they can't see me falling apart and unable to think clearly. I hate this.

I'm so sorry you're going through this sad I know the feeling and it's truly awful.

Do you feel you're getting anywhere with the group therapy/ cpn? Have you considered medication if it's sobad?

Sophiedotty Mon 07-Oct-13 07:05:22

Sorry to hear that. I remember that feeling well when my depression was so bad. Are you on medication? The new SSRI's like Sertraline & Prozac seemed to make you feel more awake & able to do things once they kick in.
Can you phone your CPN & say how bad you are feeling,

Messupmum Mon 07-Oct-13 09:09:12

I'm on sertraline, sometimes it feels like it's working, other days I might as well be taking sweets.

Didn't sleep well last night as intense feelings of missing people who I don't see anymore, anxiety was at an all time high and feeling guilty about everything.

I'm scared nothing is going to work, I've tried everything. Friends and family are fed up with me, there's only so much they can do. My cpn only works 3 days and I don't know what to say. Apart from I don't want to be here anymore, but she's heard it all before.

CaptainSweatPants Mon 07-Oct-13 09:13:43

Could you ring someone & arrange to go out for a walk later? The fresh air & sunshine might help you sleep better tonight

sicily1921 Mon 07-Oct-13 09:20:19

You don't sound too happy with the CPN service to me. Having a service for only three days a week seems really bad, are you able to say that you feel you need more than that, to her or your GP.

Also it shouldn't matter how many times she heard you say things she should be there to listen and support you. Do you feel that she does that?

Please please try and go for that walk, you have me, Silver, Sophie and Wednesday here at the mo to support you. Put some glad rags on if you can to give you a boost.

Sophiedotty Mon 07-Oct-13 09:47:31

I take 2.5 mg of Olanzapine with 75 mg of Sertraline. This is the best combination for me. For years I was just on 50 mg Sertraline. It just kept my head above water so I was able to work. I am not in the UK now & do find the treatment of m/h issues so much better here than in the UK. My Dr referred me to a psychiatrist & it was the best thing for me. I tried lots of other meds but this worked the best for me & no weight gain.
Olanzapine is an anti psychotic & mood stabilizer. It has a boosting effect on the Sertraline. I can't take 100mg of Sertraline as I get bad night sweats & headaches otherwise.
What dose are you on? Could you asked to be referred to a psychiatrist? I know on the NHS it will be a long wait though.

Sounds like you are having a bad time atm. It is really difficult but try not to feel guilty about it. Doesn't sounds like your meds are for you so you might need to go back to gp to get them changed. Try to think of something to motivate you to do the essentials ( mine is my ds) and not to worry about the rest.
We are here for you, talk as much as you want, you won't be judged hugs

Longtallsally Mon 07-Oct-13 09:59:39

Echoing Sophiedotty's post. I remember that feeling so well too, when bed is the only safe place. But it's lovely to read from Sophie and others that things can get better with the right treatment and support.

In the meantime, be kind to yourself and try not to expect too much from yourself. You got up and made tea and had a biscuit. Great. You posted here - wise move. You are hoping to get dressed, but that's proving hard. Maybe taking a shower would be a good first step. It's pleasurable too. Then back to bed for a little bit if you want, but get your clothes laid out first, whilst you are up, and you can pop them on later.

A walk would be lovely but it can feel like a big step. I always found that hovering one room each day was a useful aim. It's exercise of a sort, gets you up and about, but not too much - and it has a nice outcome which you can see too.

Thinking of you.

Messupmum Mon 07-Oct-13 11:26:45

I am able to get up, sort dd out, get her to school etc. some days I do meet with friends, get to the shop, but it's never easy and I hate it. Then the days I can't do those things I don't understand why, and I don't think others get it either.

This morning I got showered, did school run then straight back home where it feels safe. I feel so guilty for not working, but I've been told to take things one step at the time. Tbh I can't even think about holding down a job but it makes me feel useless.

I think my anxiety is bad today, I even did an online shop as I couldn't face going out to do it. I wiped the kitchen down so I feel less useless but now back in bed as I can't cope with all the stuff in my head, all the racing thoughts and guilt. I don't know what I should be doing, I can't think straight.

I'm on 200mg, but been told it's a mixture of that and therapy that will help. I think my diagnosis is bpd, depression and anxiety. So meds don't always help with bpd, it's been so long, gradually I've been feeling worse. I feel more desperate as it feels there's only one way out of this place.

I do like my cpn but she's the fourth this year, and I'm struggling with missing the support of previous ones. I have attachment issues and don't cope well with 'endings'. I just want to cry, I want someone here that understands.

You are doing well today then, you have done more useful things than me! I know what you mean about endings, I really struggle with motivation, leaving the house, facing people so trust me, you are still doing well

Longtallsally Mon 07-Oct-13 13:13:29

Totally agree that people who haven't suffered from depression can't understand that awful feeling when you can't physically do anything. But people on MN do understand and have been there. Some are still there with you, others have found a route forwards.

Depression is awful and soooo hard. Keep on posting. There will be hand holding and practical advice on here for you.

mumtosome61 Mon 07-Oct-13 13:25:36

Messupmum - first of all, you're not a mess up Mum at all. You are a woman who is suffering from a mental illness that is surrounded by a world who alternate between caring and not caring. I can tell you categorically that you are cared for - if only by strangers on the internet and especially from someone who suffers from anxiety and BPD (me).

I don't have much experience of the severe depression that sounds very painful so I am not going to pretend I know how it feels. My BPD means that I do have moments of this, but they are infrequent.

Medication isn't always the way forward with BPD, but if it is the depression/anxiety that is propelling things at the moment, it is better to address them with medication.

As for the CPN - if you feel you are not getting adequate support it is in your best interests to get someone who will be able to support you better. Also, it helped me to have a collection of "safe" people - that means that when the sh*t hits the fan (which it does for me, often), I can call them up without the fear of judgement. I only have two safe people, but it is better than none. Doesn't matter whether the safe person is a long term friend or someone you met last week - whoever you feel you can be genuine with. If that is on MN, then you do whatever works for you.

Small, achievable goals are the way forward. Do not think about work. Think about each day as it comes. Today is not such a good day - retreating to bed makes you feel comfortable - fine, do it. It may feel demoralising, but ultimately you have to do what YOU need to do to feel SAFE.

I found routine absolutely key in getting better (although I'm not better as such, just a bit better than earlier in the year) - but make sure it doesn't become a pressure cooker. Be realistic about what you want to do and what you can do. If it's not a lot - that's absolutely FINE.

As for the bad days - I had one at the weekend. I was all ready to just jump on the first train out of sh*tsville and run some kind of cult. But I tried very hard to remember that in spite of the crap day, I have had some good days recently. Although the bad days seem endless and crushing, there are good days.

Two quick things. I would look to see if there are any psychotherapists that would be willing to come to your house on a week on, week off basis. Meaning that one week they come to your house, and the next meeting you try and get out of the house, even if it's to a local park over the road. I don't know where you are located, but a few in my area did that.

Lastly - this helps me each day;

Do 1 thing you have to do (washing up, writing an email, etc)
Do 1 thing you WANT to do (have a nice cup of tea with a biscuit etc)
Do 1 thing that will make YOU happy (listening to a good uplifting song, watching a film, cuddling in bed - anything).

I hope that helps, and sorry for the essay!

sicily1921 Mon 07-Oct-13 14:13:26

61 what a great post. Thinking of you OP

Messupmum Mon 07-Oct-13 14:33:00

Thanks for all the lovely posts. I have a couple of friends I could call upon when I'm really struggling, but I can't get over that feeling of being a burden. I put off ringing incase they're busy, or asleep or just don't want to speak to me.

I had a list to do today, just had to sort out a medical certificate by ringing GP and sorting out the food shop. I've done those but I still feel I've done nothing. Plus I just went to one shop to buy dd school socks, and it was like I had to do a marathon or a performance etc, I feel horrible and agitated. All I had to do was buy bloody socks. And I'm back in bed. sad

I don't think I'll be offered any more support as I see a psychiatrist as and when I need to, have group therapy (which is too hard) and a cpn. It's just me being me, rubbish.

I wish I could escape for a while then come back, but sometimes the urge to be gone forever are overwhelming.

sicily1921 Mon 07-Oct-13 16:35:04

You have done something, plenty of things, well done!

I know exactly what you mean though about things, even 'simple' things feeling like a marathon.

Just take it bit by bit, you can't do more than that.

More hugs.

Messupmum Tue 08-Oct-13 20:25:06

I can't handle this anxiety! I feel like I'm on the edge. I can't relax because I feel something bad is going to happen and I just can't think rationally to tell myself it's ok.

I'm getting through the day but only just, I can't think clearly but getting the basics done. I feel really low, I don't see the point in eating, getting dressed or doing much at all, but I do, for dd's sake.

I hate this feeling of being scared, the slightest noise makes me panic. I don't want the tv on as then I think I hear dd crying, I turn the tv off but she's not. I feel paranoid about people talking about me, stupid, they've got better things to talk about. I just feel so alone but I don't think I want to be around anyone.

amawhoisayiam Tue 08-Oct-13 22:35:59

I can relate to all this and I get the scared feeling too sometimes, and I can be very avoidant of things. Wish I could give you advice on what to do and how to stop feeling like that but I don't know what to doo either.

Going to things make me anxious and nervous and not going which would be my first choice means I miss out, then feel bad that I cant cope with it.

I'm that pathetic with this I feel its an achievement if I went shopping and to the Hairdressers on my own.

HoopHopes Tue 08-Oct-13 23:45:18

Hi, sorry the depression is so bad right now. There are other medications that are sometimes used for severe depression and bpd such as quietiapine so it may be worth asking for a trial of something on top of the sertraline.

Regarding the Cpn, yours may only work 3 days a week but remember the office has a phone on 5 days a week and should have a system of a duty worker you can talk to or give you a second named worker if no duty worker. You never know who the duty worker is but they will be part of the CMHT.

As far as community mental health work a weekly Cpn, a psychiatrist and therapy is pretty much all they offer, apart from giving crisis team instead of Cpn if feel need more than a weekly Cpn visit. Some people get offered a support worker to help them with daily tasks, getting out and about or with children though. Sometimes they are an OT, sometimes a support worker- where I live that service used to be under CMHT but is now for provided by adult social care. Could you ask your Cpn for more support- I know the Cpn cannot offer it, but could they find out about getting you a support worker etc? Just an idea. Can you tell the Cpn at next meeting that you cannot get out of bed or manage daily tasks? If you could be honest about how much you cannot do they could do an assessment of y,our needs and see what they could provide?

Messupmum Thu 10-Oct-13 09:51:01

Saw my cpn yesterday and she asked me if I wanted different meds for sleeping or the anxiety. I said the anxiety was unbearable and she said about diazepam then hesitated as was worried as it's addictive. So I don't know if I'll get any or not.

What I do know is I can't carry on like this. I'm turned into an emotional wreck. I had to go back into dd's school for something this morning, and walking in the opposite direction to others made me want to hide away and become invisible. I talk to others and put on a smile, but I have no recognition of what I've said. I'm just panicking inside my head, just thinking omg, omg, I can't do this!

Now back home, put some washing on, got therapy later. I'm a waste of space, what has my life become? I feel like I've become someone who I don't recognise or like much.

Golddigger Thu 10-Oct-13 10:11:15

Are you venting?

Messupmum Thu 10-Oct-13 10:50:05

Feel free to ignore me!

HoopHopes Thu 10-Oct-13 17:35:19

Today sounds a tough day for you. Diazepam can be great especially if used short term for the worst times to avoid addiction. Aso if taken too often it seems to not work.

Could you ask the Cpn to get you say 3 days worth of it or whatever different meds they think might help and then choose when you take them? I find if I take them one day the next few days are much better.

Dear MuM (also not calling you MessUp!)
I sense from the threads you've started that you really need someone to recognise how you feel, and Mumtosome61 seems to have exactly done that in her beautiful post. Hope you can take her advice and just be kind to yourself, accept that you van do more on some days than others, and accept all the help from the mh professionals that is on offer. Thigs WILL get better for you, and you are doing so well to keep working at that. I'm here and care, though I don't have any better advice than that you've already received xxx

Sophiedotty Fri 11-Oct-13 12:12:29

I take Clonazapam occasionally when needed on top of my Sertraline & Olanzapine. My psychiatrist said her preferred to prescribe that than Valium. It does sound like you need a meds review. The 200 mg dose may be making things worse. I was on that dose for a while & my heart was racing & I felt anxious with such a bad headache.
Hope you are doing ok today. .

Messupmum Fri 11-Oct-13 13:05:09

I have a headache today, I have a lot of headaches. I feel like crying, nothing seems to be going right. I do mess up everything. I can't get a break from my thoughts, it's driving me mad.

Sophiedotty Fri 11-Oct-13 13:36:12

Do you have your mum or a friend that can be with you?
Can you see if you can get a Drs appt? You sound very low.
I found the headache is a serotonin headache, right at the front of your head & feels different to a normal headache. I found painkillers didn't touch it. The 200 mg dose can cause this type of headache. Can you call & speak to someone today about your meds? Sorry to hear you are feeling so bad.

NanaNina Fri 11-Oct-13 14:00:53

Oh MuM so so sorry you are feeling so crap and I know the torment of depression and anxiety at first hand and you said in your OP that it is only people who have experienced this illness that can understand it and that is SO true.

I know everyone is trying to help but there are times when we sufferers have to accept that there just is no more that can be done. You are seeing a psych, have a diagnosis, a CPN and meds - same here. My CPN is lovely and only works 3 days a week, but when the depression knocks me into a deep dark well of pointless nothingness where any motivation to do anything has completely evaporated there is nothing anyone can do and like you all I want to do is hide under the duvet. Even going to the bathroom is scary and getting a shower can be soooo hard. I am more fortunate as my family is grown and so I don't have to care for a child/ren. God knows how hard it must be when you have a child - how old is she - are you a single parent? Sorry don't mean to sound nosey. Incidentally I got that description of depression from someone on the MH thread and it certainly "spoke" to me - but somehow I suspect it is anxiety that is the biggest problem today - can you describe it?

Forgive me but I never know if BPD is bipolar disorder, or borderline personality disorder. I suspect it is the former as you mention "racing thoughts" in some of your posts. Like you I think I can't phone my friends because they have heard it all before, and might think "oh god not again."

Sending warm wishes your way........

NanaNina Fri 11-Oct-13 14:02:06

Oh and Goldigger why are you asking the OP if she is venting - sounds very uncaring.

Messupmum Fri 11-Oct-13 14:28:23

I took tablets but still have a headache, all I want to do is sleep. I feel exhausted, but I can't. I have been trying to get through this by myself as I realise there is a limit to what others can do. There's no point speaking to anyone today, my cpn asked about meds, but I'll have to wait to speak to psychiatrist anyway.

I don't blame people for questioning why I'm posting and what I'm asking for. I don't know really, it's like keeping a diary I suppose. I will write stuff down for my cpn too, when I can think clearly enough to do so.

Sophiedotty Fri 11-Oct-13 15:03:45

Could you get some pure lavender oil & put some in a bath or with some water in an oil burner. I find that helps me to relax especially with a headache.

Dear MuM
I hope I didn't sound like I was questioning why you are posting - I didn't mean to. I've read some of your threads and feel concerned for you that you're not getting the help you need. It's really good to keep writing here; please know that we are listening to you and care. I hope you might feel able to share this thread with your psychiatrist and that things can start to change for you. You're being very brave to deal with everything on your own xx

Messupmum Fri 11-Oct-13 18:49:29

Sorry I didn't mean that, I meant the question about if I was venting.

I actually had ordered some lavender oil, it came today and I'll have a bath tonight.

It is borderline personality disorder I've been diagnosed with. I'm having group therapy. This week the same two people who talk the most every week, took over the group. Plus the therapist admitted she wasn't 100% there as her dog was in the vets and twice she hurried out to take phonecalls. I sit there thinking, I've waited a year for this, so many people are relying on it helping me, and I don't see how it is.

I'm scared, that this is it. A life of ups and downs, negative and suicidal thoughts, anxiety and paranoia. If it is, I can't bear to think about it. I know I've got to take it a day at a time but that's hard when every day is crap.

NanaNina Fri 11-Oct-13 22:01:03

That is shocking behaviour for a therapist leading a group. The first rule for therapists is they do NOT talk about their own lives.........ok if they are asked a question about their personal lives they can answer, or just say gently "I don't think it will help you to know ..........(whatever is asked" This is more than shocking. I think you should make it known to her that you were very distressed by this because you felt that you had waited so long for therapy and now here she was worrying about a dog!!

There will always be people in groups who talk more than others, but the job of the group leader is to "manage" the group, by trying to draw in the quieter members and stopping any group members dominating the group. She sounds like a very incompetent group leader.

Messupmum Fri 11-Oct-13 22:23:47

I wondered if she should be trying to involve other members a bit more. I've been for 5/6 weeks, and there are two members who have hardly spoken and I know nothing about. It does seem to be the same two or three who are very dominating and end up talking for the whole session. About really random things.

One week I was saying about how I struggle and the thoughts I have, and one of the talkative members said that dd will remember everything, and she said 'poor thing (dd)', and then asked me why didn't I get her adopted if I can't cope?! No one intervened, or questioned her or asked how I felt about that comment. That weekend I ended up in a&e sad.

Anyway, still got a headache so need to sleep now.

yeghoulsandlittledevils Fri 11-Oct-13 22:36:36

Messupmum You should complain as you are right, that is not on. DD will not 'catch' this from you. My Dad's mum was seriously mentally ill and none of the rest of her family or 5 children were harmed by it, nor her teens of grandchildren. Makes me cross to hear/see the louder members of group therapy sessions inflict their pain on others like that. If they do it again, reflect it back on them and ask them why do they day that/ why do they think that/where does that come from/is it something that they are afraid of?

Is there no option of one to one counselling/therapy for you, as that would be far better. Or ask if there is a different group, or if the group could be split and you not with the 2/3 most vocal members?

Sleep well. Hope things are better tomorrow.

Keep a diary.

HoopHopes Sat 12-Oct-13 10:41:11

Complaining can be dangerous though, I complained about my therapy group leader and result was I was told to leave the group - it was either work their way or get no NHS treatment ( however ill I was, crisis team only support left open to me). They have their own methods of working and whilst we may be frustrated about how they lead groups and group dynamics they will always have a reason for it and be able to argue at a higher level their methods of working.

Do you feel able to say in group what you think about the group dynamics as that is probably what they are waiting for someone to say? Agree dog issue bad and would tell the Cpn about that.

Have you a nice weekend lined up? Rain here so looking fr indoor entertainment for my dc and trying to motivate myself to do the cleaning grin

yeghoulsandlittledevils Sat 12-Oct-13 11:12:58

Hoophopes that's a very good point, and something I hadnt considered.

Messupmum Sat 12-Oct-13 18:25:07

I don't feel I could say anything anyway. I don't know what to expect from group therapy so maybe this is how it goes.

I don't know why I'm finding it harder to go out. I am putting off going out where possible as some kind of fear comes over me. I thought my self esteem was already bad. Oh god, I really don't want to get worse, but more symtoms keep appearing. I can't let them but I don't seem to have much control. I know how ridiculous that sounds.

NanaNina Sun 13-Oct-13 13:40:54

I think it is very common to find it really hard to go out (sometimes to get out of bed) when depression/anxiety is really bad. In a way I think our brain is telling us that we need to withdraw (this is what animals do when they are ill.....they find somewhere to hide away from us) The fear that you talk about is also very common and that is what anxiety is isn't it fear fear of the present and fear of the future and even fear of fear if that makes any sense.

You are obviously in "secondary care" as you have a psychiatrist and CPN. Sorry you might have already said what meds you are on, but are they right - do they need changing/something added. I know though that sometimes meds just don't keep us well and we have bouts of awful days. Is there any pattern - do you feel worse some days than others, as these fluctuations are normal in mental illness. Mind nothing seems "normal" when we are so depressed we can't get out of bed.

That was an awful thing that that person said to you in the group and the leader should have pointed out that it was not the case and a very inappropriate thing to say. How about you pluck up the courage next time to say to that person something like: "your comment about my DD really upset me last week and you can't see into the future anymore than anyone else can."

HoopHopes Wed 16-Oct-13 21:39:19

Hi MuM wondered how things going this week? Hope a few brighter moments.

Messupmum Thu 17-Oct-13 09:02:32

Struggling a lot, but shouldn't really say how I've been. Thank you for thinking of me though.

HoopHopes Thu 17-Oct-13 13:42:19

Sometimes it is just keeping going that matters. Another day ticked off, etc.

I read something recently that I found helpful - instead of writing a to do list and not achieving it, writing a "done" list and celebrating even the little positives. Am going to try this. So today:
Washed hair,
Played play doh with dc


yeghoulsandlittledevils Thu 17-Oct-13 15:19:47

Am thinking of you too.
Yes, even just saying out loud what you've done (had a shower, brushed hair, got dressed, something for breakfast, drank a glass of water) in as small detail as necessary can make you realise you are doing the best you can with what you've got.

Have had an awful morning and now hiding away with laptop before the 'afternoon rush' which can be a challenge at times. However, the awful morning was full of some pretty amazing family time too. It just felt horrible (some of it).

Messupmum Thu 17-Oct-13 20:01:39

God it's all gone wrong. Someone found stuff I'd written down, my worst thoughts, bad stuff, I can't even bear to read through what they have seen. I can't remember everything I'd written and I don't want to know. I'm mortified, my minds racing. I hate my life, and the fact I'm ruining others.

yeghoulsandlittledevils Thu 17-Oct-13 20:04:26

Any chance you tell them you were writing notes for a novel? Would they believe that?

Messupmum Thu 17-Oct-13 20:16:35

No they know! It's my own stupid fault for not getting rid of it. People might say its best people know, but it doesn't feel that way. I feel like all my private thoughts are being spread about. It's killing me inside. I want to scream, cry but can't even do that as my head is screwed up.

yeghoulsandlittledevils Thu 17-Oct-13 20:56:35

I can imagine. I really can. If I knew people had read my darkest or most unattractive writings when I was at my lowest ebb, I would be feeling the same way. What you, and they, need to realise is, everyone (including you) has thoughts and feelings that we don't mean, haven't decided upon, get out of our system to clear space for oneself in ones own head (if that makes sense - maybe that last bit is just me). In other words, when we write private things down, we don't necessarily express them in a way that puts us in the best light.

For example, I have felt like killing a certain person (Not any more. They're dead now actually, but not because of me.) There was even a scary time when I would dream about it. In order to free myself from the dreams, I wrote about it. Anyone finding that (now destroyed) would think I was... not a safe person to be around, which I was not and am not.

HoopHopes Thu 17-Oct-13 23:46:20

Agree with poster above, what we write is not always what we have done or will do.

Is it a professional that has this writing? If so they will know that and it should not change anything at all.

I was encouraged to write a journal, to empty my head. Writing can be helpful - some therapies use art or writing as part of their treatments.

What is going to help you right now? If you are like me you will catastrophise everything which makes everything worse. Can you challenge those thoughts and help calm a racing brain down? That is what I am meant to ( and not good at) do.

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