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Worried that I may have depression and this may mean I will always fail

(26 Posts)
FedUpCantKickoff Sun 23-Jun-13 19:34:10

I've got a lot going on. A lovely partner, but I'm scared to talk to him about how I am feeling, an abusive ex. Been signed off for stress but work pressurising me to go back early.
Have been reading the samaritans website :-(

desertgirl Sun 23-Jun-13 19:41:13

even if you are depressed, why would it mean you will always fail? it would just mean that you need a bit of extra help for a while.

is there someone else you can talk to about how you are feeling? would it help to type it?

FedUpCantKickoff Sun 23-Jun-13 19:45:32

It may do, I have to pop out for a bit first. Thanks for responding

FedUpCantKickoff Sun 23-Jun-13 20:31:01

My boss wants me to go back on Tuesday and I'm not sure i will be able to

FedUpCantKickoff Sun 23-Jun-13 20:38:08

really struggling

Triumphoveradversity Sun 23-Jun-13 20:40:15

When are you seeing your GP again? can you get signed off again and are you in a union? If not then call ACAS helpline for advice.

FedUpCantKickoff Sun 23-Jun-13 20:41:15

My boss wants me to cut my time short and tell my GP that I have spoken to him and am fit for work

FedUpCantKickoff Sun 23-Jun-13 20:41:33

Signed off for another week

desertgirl Sun 23-Jun-13 20:46:55

There is no way your boss should be doing that; if you have been signed off, particularly for stress (work related? does your boss know that is what it is?) he should not be adding to that stress.

I think you do need some help from a union or ACAS or whatever, in terms of standing up to the boss. Are you getting enough support with the stress (depression?) that is the reason you are signed off in the first place - has the GP been good?

FedUpCantKickoff Sun 23-Jun-13 20:48:43

Gp good. Yes, he knows it's stress. He said the things that are casuing it are all "solvable" and I should send him a list and he'll "solve it"

desertgirl Sun 23-Jun-13 20:50:18

Is he part of the reason for the stress?

FedUpCantKickoff Sun 23-Jun-13 20:53:09

No. It's the people under him

LostInWales Sun 23-Jun-13 20:53:22

Your boss is majorly in the wrong here. Take as much time as you need and get better properly.

As for 'always going to fail', not at ALL, it just means that right now you feel this way, not that it is true. It is a symptom of your depression and as soon as you can see it for that, you can tell yourself it is just a symptom and you ARE going to start to feel better very soon. People who tend to get depression are in fact creative and intelligent and some of the worlds best people IMHO wink

FedUpCantKickoff Sun 23-Jun-13 21:01:06

Thanks Lost

desertgirl Sun 23-Jun-13 21:04:59

If you had appendicitis, he wouldn't be calling you like this, would he?

You need to get better. Then he can fix things so you don't get to this position again. If you had broken your leg falling down stairs, fixing the stairs wouldn't mean you could take the plaster off....

You need to look after yourself, and he needs to back off and let you do that. Do you have a union or anyone you can call tomorrow to explain that to him?

FedUpCantKickoff Sun 23-Jun-13 21:12:26

No I don't.

desertgirl Sun 23-Jun-13 21:13:52

would your partner call? I think you need someone else to do it for you, so he can't lean on you and make you feel bad.

FedUpCantKickoff Sun 23-Jun-13 21:35:23

The gp might. I had one call an employer years ago (for a different reason, the gp was being a bitch), but if I see the same one I saw last time he might.

FedUpCantKickoff Sun 23-Jun-13 21:38:15

He told me my reasons for being stressed were "trivial" and "solvable"

desertgirl Sun 23-Jun-13 21:53:59

It doesn't matter whether they are or not, you are where you are. Could be worth talking to the GP about calling if you can.

Hang on in there... You will get through this....

lemonmuffin Sun 23-Jun-13 22:06:07

How dare he say your reasons are 'trivial' Fedup.

Ignore him and go back to work when you are ready. He won't think an employment tribunal is 'trivial' when he gets taken to one for the way he is treating you.

LostInWales Sun 23-Jun-13 22:26:47

Just going to bed but I wanted to add; a much cleverer friend than I said, in these instances always make sure you document everything. So where he phones and says things are 'solve able' and you should come back sooner or you should phone your GP and say you have discussed it with him and are fine to come back sooner, ALWAYS send an email back straight away detailing the conversation and saying 'just to clarify our chat' or some such, so in future you have a paper trail if needed. It might not seem important now but could be useful in the future.

FedUpCantKickoff Sun 23-Jun-13 23:37:52

Yes. I recorded our conversation.

Elquota Mon 24-Jun-13 21:23:49

OP, in your thread title you say you're worried you may have depression, but you don't say what your symptoms are, although you're clearly under a lot of stress. What has your GP advised?

jessjessjess Mon 24-Jun-13 23:32:32

You won't always fail. That is the depression talking. It's not the truth.

FedUpCantKickoff Mon 01-Jul-13 20:54:41

Mainly feelings of failure. GP said stay off work. Have been back and now feeling worse. Really not in a good place have not been able to post for a while. Finding it hard to express exactly how I feel. I was quite confident and enjoying my work. Now I'm not at all and this has branched out to other areas - home, hobbies. I'm really struggling sad

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