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Never felt so alone

(45 Posts)
SaveWaterDrinkMalibu Wed 10-Apr-13 23:20:54

Bear with me - currently in tears

Have depression - have lost friends and OH. Feel like no one cares or wants to know me any more as I'm mentally ill

fiverabbits Wed 10-Apr-13 23:27:48

Talk to me I am listening and wishing you well.

Isabeller Wed 10-Apr-13 23:28:36

I'm here too

SaveWaterDrinkMalibu Wed 10-Apr-13 23:30:17

Thanks it means a lot

I really feel like giving up

Unfortunatelyanxious Wed 10-Apr-13 23:31:26

I'm going to bed soon so please don't think I'm leaving the thread for any other reason. I have been awake since four this morning. I have depression and have lost friends over the years, they liked me when I was well.

I'm sorry you feel so low, the depression is hard but losing people feels so unfair.

Catmint Wed 10-Apr-13 23:33:56

Save, I am so sorry you feel alone. Depression is very lonely and the symptoms and behaviours associated with it can just worsen the situation.

But you are not your illness. You are a likeable person and I feel sure that you can get through this difficult time.

If you aren't getting professional, medical help please do.

SaveWaterDrinkMalibu Wed 10-Apr-13 23:34:18

I'm finding coping from depression hard enough but then you lose friends and it get harder

SaveWaterDrinkMalibu Wed 10-Apr-13 23:36:03

Been to the docs who referred me to some agency who works with people to get a social life back - really not the help I need

Catmint Wed 10-Apr-13 23:36:30

I have bouts of depression every few years. I have lost friends. But in a funny way I have come to be better friends with myself. I have made friends as well because depression has changed my perspective, although obv that is hard to do when you are in the middle of it.

Catmint Wed 10-Apr-13 23:38:47

Is that all the docs did? Sounds a bit odd...what about cut, counselling, drugs?

Unfortunatelyanxious Wed 10-Apr-13 23:39:04

A couple of months ago my best mate of ten years dumped me. You will get through it, the pain lessens though it is so upsetting.

Can you distract yourself with anything? When I was waiting for counselling I rang Samaritans a couple of times, it really helped. Do you think you could speak to them?

Catmint Wed 10-Apr-13 23:39:10

C b t not cut

Catmint Wed 10-Apr-13 23:40:09

YY Samaritans.

SaveWaterDrinkMalibu Wed 10-Apr-13 23:40:49

Docs said that it doesn't need counselling yet although been back every week practically begging. Now got to the point of I can't help myself if no one will help me

Unfortunatelyanxious Wed 10-Apr-13 23:41:48

When did you see your GP? could you tell them how you were feeling? It is very hard to speak in the short time of an appointment. I think you need to go back and possibly see someone else you feel more able to speak to.

Isabeller Wed 10-Apr-13 23:43:13

I have lost friends through MH/depression and also feel embarrassed to see some people because of how I was when really unwell.

You are not alone.

SaveWaterDrinkMalibu Wed 10-Apr-13 23:43:25

Have seen the GP I always see ( only one ill talk to). Ended up crying for 15mins whilst talking

Catmint Wed 10-Apr-13 23:48:08

It makes me so angry when I hear of people experiencing gp not listening about depression. Perhaps the weird social life referral was as a stop gap because of waiting times for counselling, though.

What about anti d's?

SaveWaterDrinkMalibu Wed 10-Apr-13 23:50:06

No anti d's just the social life people even they couldn't work out why I was referred

Unfortunatelyanxious Wed 10-Apr-13 23:52:54

You obviously need further help.
Is there any kind of mental health charity in the area you live in? I contacted one in my area, they have been very helpful.

I was assessed at an out of hours appointment once, is there a service in your area? Obviously I'm not sure if you can manage something unknown.
They are the only things I can think of.

Sorry I'm about to drop of to sleep and it is such a rare feeling for me I need to go to bed.

Please consider Samaritans, here is their number 08457 90 90 90.

Take care.

Catmint Wed 10-Apr-13 23:58:33

Me too, I have sleep anxiety smile and need to go now. I really get quite flustered if I go later than midnight, but didn't want to post and run.

But I agree, see if you have a local mind or similar. They are ace. Also, if you can summon the energy, go back to your gp and ask for anti d's specifically.

Try keeping a diary for a few days, so you can describe how you feel eg cried for this long, could not get out on these days, missed these meals, felt I needed to harm myself at these points etc etc

You're not alone.

whodunnit Thu 11-Apr-13 00:06:43

Thinking of you but have no advice. hope these messages above have helped. Lots of other MNers have been through this, and you could really learn from their experiences although youa re feleling pretty low now.

Isabeller Thu 11-Apr-13 00:29:04

Hope you get some sleep, I must now but will come back tomorrow

Catmint Thu 11-Apr-13 10:19:47

Thinking of you today, Save. Xx

SaveWaterDrinkMalibu Thu 11-Apr-13 11:24:34

Currently laid in bed crying - dont want to face the day

kizzie Thu 11-Apr-13 11:44:15

One of the most unfair things about depression etc is the fact that often you have to really fight for decent treatment (which of course is the last thing you feel able to do.)
But it is worth it and so are you - so dont give up and keep going back to GP until you get proper help. It might help to write down excatly how you are feeling and just give that to the GP.

In the meantime some of the things Ive done (none of them are miracle cure - but sometimes it helps to think of doing a basketful of different things - with each of them helping a little bit.)

- Tell yourself that you'll try and help yourself feel 10% better. It feels manageable - and anything is better than you are at the moment. It takes away the pressure of 'ive got to get better'

- Eat very regularly to keep blood sugar levels even. And reduce sugar.

- Get some fresh air every day

- Set a list of easy things to do each day. Nothing too taxing but just to give you a bit of structure.

- Set a 'worry time' for each day. So eg 5- 5.30. Then if you start to obsess over worries tell yourself 'Im not ignoring this but im not thinking about it now - im going to think about it a lot between 5 and 5.30'

- Some very easy craft/ reading etc to do to pass the time. Ive even done colouring in in the past - concentrating on staying in the lines - has taken my mind off the depression a little bit hmm blush

- Go to library and get a book on CBT techniques

Take Care

Catmint Thu 11-Apr-13 16:33:50

Yes, I agree with Kizzies list.

I got a colour your own advent calendar last year to help manage my anxiety. smile

Fresh air is always important in my recoveries, when it is cold I think about the cold scouring the depression away, when rainy I think about it washing it away. When sunny I think about it giving me energy.

I was recommended mood gym online to help. Sorry cant link on this.

Catmint Thu 11-Apr-13 16:37:56

Save, there is a mh thread in chat at the mo which might be of interest to you, beginning of title is Cba to name change...

marjproops Thu 11-Apr-13 16:46:52

sitting here on mn crying too. you are not alone. ive got 4 days till next counselling session and i feel like topping myself right now. only EVER hold on cos of DC.

and OP. you DO find out who your freinds are with depression.

i have 2. proper friends.

i used to know many but 2 friends in the whole world but even they cant help.

just want to make like a tortoise and hide in my shell. savewater like you in bed under the duvet.

you are not alone. thanks

Catmint Thu 11-Apr-13 19:50:00

You can come back from depression. I promise.

Catmint Fri 12-Apr-13 10:24:18

Save, just a reminder that you are not alone again today. X

SaveWaterDrinkMalibu Fri 12-Apr-13 19:58:06

Thank you all so much - it means lot.smilesmilesmile

Unfortunatelyanxious Fri 12-Apr-13 20:06:29

Take care, I hope that you can get some good help.

SaveWaterDrinkMalibu Fri 12-Apr-13 20:31:47

Thank you all so much - it means lot.smilesmilesmile

SaveWaterDrinkMalibu Fri 12-Apr-13 23:07:45

I want people to understand how I feel and why I can't deal with certain situations

Catmint Fri 12-Apr-13 23:40:35

I think the previous idea of writing it down is a good thought and will help you put across what you need to your gp.

If you have had self harm urges or suicidal thoughts you must tell gp.

Really sorry have no more practical advice except I know you can get through this tough time. And I am thinking of you.

SaveWaterDrinkMalibu Sat 13-Apr-13 00:24:15

Have managed to get GP appointment but not for another 9 days

Isabeller Sat 13-Apr-13 00:55:36

thinking of you x Is

Summer115 Sat 13-Apr-13 04:16:32

So many people care about you here. You are not alone.

Catmint Sat 13-Apr-13 15:27:39

9 days, you can get through 9 days.

Don't forget to breathe and be kind to yourself. Are you writing things down? Can you tempt yourself to eat a treat? Sorry to nag.

Have you managed to go outside? Sunny here this morning, we went to a farm to cuddle lambs. X

SaveWaterDrinkMalibu Sun 14-Apr-13 21:08:37

Sorry I haven't been back - it's been a good weekend gringringringrin

Catmint Sun 14-Apr-13 21:39:33

Hello Saved! I have been checking back for you. Very pleased to hear that you have had a good weekend. What have you enjoyed?

I had a great day yesterday, lamb cuddling. Today was a bit odd, helping a friend sort some stuff as she has recently left her husband. Then a food shop followed by drawing and cutting out fairies (badly!) for my daughter to stick into her novel. She is 6. She has written 1 sentence, which covered an entire page. grin

Catmint Sun 14-Apr-13 21:41:08

I have been on hol this week. Back to work tomorrow hmm I might not be able to check everyday. Job is quite demanding. Draining.

SaveWaterDrinkMalibu Sun 14-Apr-13 22:36:46

Been shopping with a close friend - huge step!grin
Met my snuggly newborn niece today

Catmint Tue 16-Apr-13 07:51:07

Off to London today and tomorrow.

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