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Im suffering really badly with anxiety and panic attacks....saw doctor on Monday he gave me se tablets to take if the panic attacks get to much but they are addictive so can't take everyday. I don't want to take one incase I have a bad reaction or get addicted.
I just want to feel better again.....I can't cope with the never ending anxiety building inside me.
Nothing has changed from this time two weeks ago, why is this happening? Will I ever feel better without medication?
So sorry you are feeling like this - i am in the middle of anxiety hell too so i know how you feel. What medication has the doctor given you, you need soemthing long term, why hasn't he done this?
Hi there, what is the medication has the doctor gave you and why are you so reluctant to take them?
I think it's called citolapram 2mg, but it's in the car so I can't be sure. I didn't think I wanted anything long term, just something to help me if I felt really desperate in the middle of the night or something. Last night/evening I felt nearly normal and was happy then today it has built up more and more
I know that I will be ok in the end, I've had this before and got through without medication then but it's the long journey ahead I'm scared of
I know I'll have good days followed by bad days and slowly the bad days will get further and further apart but at the moment I just want it all to end an go away
He told me they are not everyday tablets just one offs and they can be addictive. Also I'm taking st johns wart and it says not to mix them
Ok this might be long but here goes
I started with anxiety and panic attacks. They got bad. Nobody realised how bad until I rang my mum and said I would rather drive into a wall than have another one
I went to my GP and started on 10mg citalopram, I didn't want to take them. Eventually I did but it still wasn't brilliant. So I went back, got a referral for cognitive behavioural therapy and a prescription for 10mg propranolol to take 3 x a day.
I'm now still on citalopram (v low dose) and down to 1 x a day propranolol
Things that helped:
Having people that were close to me that knew, I could ring them and say "talk to me" and mum used to talk me through my panic (usually in the supermarket!)
There's a website called no more panic. The symptoms thing is helpful, it explains why you get each symptom and reassured me I wasn't having a heart attack/dying
Saying to myself when it started "oh hello panic" to acknowledge it, but then carry on with whatever I was doing
Distraction - anything! Cooking, baking, exercise, a funny film, a good book, a puzzle, listing things alphabetically in my head (colours, places)
It's a horrible, horrible feeling, I know and if you want to talk just PM me. I'm 3 years on now from when it was at its worst
Hi Plantaseed, sorry you're feeling so bad at the moment. There's nothing worse than anxiety
Were you give citalopram 20 mg?
If you were, you definitely shouldn't be taking them 'as and when' as they won't work and could possibly make you feel worse!
You should be taking them every day to get the benefits.
I'm stunned your GP prescribed them to you like this. Unless there's a whole other regime to taking them I didn't know about. (I'm not disbelieving you by the way, just surprised about the way they were prescribed to you!).
I'm on citalopram but you do have to take them consistently for them to help. I was also prescribed betablocks to help with physical, anxiety symptoms. They were prescribed to me more like you described - to take when things got particularly bad but not necessarily regularly.
I'd definitely go back to your GP (or better still ask to see another doc) and carefully go through their instructions to you.
Best of luck and I hope you feel better soon. The pills can/will help if they're taken the right way.
Take care xx
p.s. as far as I know they're not addictive (citalopram). I may be wrong but I'm pretty sure that's the case.
Take care x
Did the dr tell you to take them as and when? You should be taking them every day at a regular time. Also, while they are addictive, they're not addictive in the way that stuff like valium is. More like when you come off them, you need to drop the dose slightly every day.
Please go back to your GP.
I can sympathise, I am in the middle of anxiety hell too atm.
You doctor is mad - citalopram takes at least two weeks to work and will do nothing for you at that dose - please go back to your doctors and ask for another dr.
Thank you for talking to me, it's helped a little already.
Everyone around me knows but I just feel so desperate and helpless. We run our own business and I can't even face working, but at the same time if I don't do it it will all just build up for me for another day anyway
One of the reasons why I didn't want to take medication everyday is because I heard that it numbs emotion so whilst it will help with the anxiety I won't feel really 'happy' either. I really don't want that, feeling happy is what I'm aiming for, I don't want to feel 'zombie' like at all.
I am on anti depressants and I don't feel like a zombie. You have to find the right one for you.
I might be wrong about what they are then? I didn't really look and have left them in the car. I will try to face going out and looking in a minute. He definitely said take them if it gets bad like a 'chill pill' but I can't rely on them everyday so I will need to go back if it's bad in two weeks.
Really mechanical? Which ones are you on? Do you just feel 'normal'?
I've just tried to call my doctors but they are closed untill tomorrow...cue more anxiety.
I don't have any side effects off citalopram. And yes you have to take them consistently for them to work. I feel ok, I get happy, I get sad
I don't understand why I can feel normal one day/moment then BAM feel like a shivering wreck the next. When I feel normal I think 'oh it wasn't that bad, just breath through if it happens aain' then when it hits I just can't see past it at all
How will I get through the next two weeks until they work though? And I can't see the doctors until tomorrow.
WTAF? Are you sure they're citalopram? You need to see a different GP if that's the case. That's not how you take them.
I'm on sertraline, but I've been on more or less everything over the years. Do I feel normal? TBH, I've had mental health problems my whole life, so would struggle to really tell you what "normal" is. I feel ok and most days I can get out of bed and face the day. I feel sad sometimes, happy other times. That's good enough for me.
It just comes out of nowhere doesn't it? I remember having one on the motorway on Christmas Day 2 years ago! I felt like a right idiot after but I pulled on to the hard shoulder, rang my cousin and was ok after a few minutes
I take Seroxat for it, it's brilliant. I feel normal - no side effects.
Don't worry, ADs are the most prescribed pills on the planet, they are very safe.
PlantaSeed I'm on citalopram and it does help to take the edge of the anxiety. I'm pretty sure you would have been prescribed 20 mg if it was citalopram he prescribed you, but whatever the dose, the way he's told you take them is very wrong!
It may be if it's not citalopram, it's something like propranolol like EMUZ mentioned.
Either way you've been left anxious and worried, on top of feeling anxious and worried.
I'd hang in there until the surgery opens and then book an appointment with another doctor (are you sure the surgery doesn't open this afternoon?).
If you feel you need to, I would ask the doctor for something "immediate" like propranolol
You can do it, you made it through yesterday, and you can make it through today. Sometimes that's all you have to see it as is making it through an hour, and then another one
I forgot to say, nights were worse for me I used to panic I couldn't see properly. Ended up with a plug in tiny night light and it was v reassuring
When is your panic worse, do you know what's started it or what triggers it?
Work triggers it I think. I have been really stressed lately with the amount of work I have to do as well as house/children stuff too. But even with the thought of putting the little one in nursery and getting more help with the business it's still not making me feel any better. Maybe I'll feel better when it actually happens. I'm having an internal battle with not wanting to work at all but then I know if I didn't have work I would be bored/depressed with nothing to do. I really feel like I can't win
Ok so I got it wrong they are diazepam 2mg. Can I take these with st johns wart? And has anyone taken these before? How will I feel?
I think when you have anxiety you can't see the wood from the trees and its only when something actually happens that you realise it's better?
For me not working would give me more time to navel gaze and probably make me more panicky! The best thing I did was start exercising again
What do the propranolol do?
I've been exercising and eating healthy for the last 4 months just because I wanted to get healthier but I can't face exercising at the moment, I can't even eat
A quick google suggests no with St. John's
I've never taken them
Also interacts with caffeine and grapefruit juice
St johns wort are supposed to be herbal, I'm not sure why you any take them with anything else? If I don't take st John wort tomorrow do you think it would be ok to have one of these tablets then?
Propranolol in simple terms block the anxiety symptoms for me. Stop my heart racing, lower my blood pressure and help with chest pains that I get
EMUZ does the propranolol help with racing-heart, shakes type thing?
I'm not sure as I haven't taken the ones prescribed to me. But she did say it was to help with the physical side of the anxiety.
I can't help thinking that a proper course of ADs would be so much more helpful to you Plantaseed (alongside ones to help with physical symptoms).
I really would get in and see another doctor who will hopefully be much more helpful.
take care of yourself x
It can decrease how effective some medicines are. I mean it's herbal but it's still effectively a treatment or medication
Here's the website I mentioned earlier. Down the side you can click on symptoms and lower down is medications and it has details on different things
I think you need to go back and see another GP. It is not good prescribing to give a benzodiazepine (like diazepam) for anxiety other than for a defined situation like flying, NICE guidelines recommend an antidepressant as others have suggested upthread.
You need to eat too. If you can't face it then try and take a multi vit and an omega 3 supplement. Omega 3 has had a study showing that essential fatty acids can lessen the body's reaction to stress
I'm trying to eat day by day, evenings are best, I seem to be able to eat half a dinner but struggle to eat more than a handful of cereal during the day.
I'm also taking iron tablets and multivitamin.
If I can just get rid of the anxiety I an function normally. But the anxiety of everything I have to do builds up and the work isn't going away so why would the anxiety go away?
Tbh the diazepam are only for a short relief, with 2mg you may feel slightly less anxious for a few hours but thats it.
I second what the other posters are saying you need some type of anti-anxiety treatment, I have been on several pills, none habit forming but I also get diazepam for anxiety attacks too.
If the anxiety stops, I can get the work done and then hopefully it won't come back. But I don't knowing this is just hopeful thinking or whether this will actually be able to happen?
I think I'm just scared of being reliant on pills for the rest of my life, everything I read seems to suggest that people are on them for years and years, I really don't want that
What's better though? Being on pills or having anxiety? For years, I refused to take anything because I didn't want to be on medication. But then I realised that I was just a slave to my illness instead. And I'd rather just be on the medication. It's not ideal but it's by far the lesser of two evils.
Diazepam work for me to just get over the initial hump so that I can get on with things. Then I'm usually fine. The doctor won't give them to me though.
Propanolol don't really work for me, because I don't get any physical symptoms, it's all just in my mind, making me feel terrified.
I too think you should go back to your doctor. You need to tell them that you are taking/have taken St. John's wort and that you are anxious about taking what they prescribe because of the warnings they have given you.
. It maybe that a different drug, one which is suitable for longer term use and which you know you have to take daily would be more suitable.
Sorry cross posts. How about guving yourself a break and don't worry about the rest of your life- focus on now and how you can overcome the anxiety and when you feel it is under control then you can come off them. May be two three months will be enough to get over this.
I think because this has happened twice before in my life and I got through without medication I feel I should be able to do it again, but at this moment in time I don't want to just 'get through it' I just want to feel better now. I think I will have to call in the morning and get something long term for it. The doctor said because it had only been 5 days it was still early days and so didn't want to prescribe anything long term. Maybe when I feel a bit better I can come back off of them?
Can that happen though? Two or three months and I'll be better to come off of them? When I read about them it says you have to stay on them a couple of years, I haven't read any stories about people coming off after a. Couple of months and being better.
Sorry, I sound so needy, I just want to know that I'm going to be better, what's the point in struggling through until you feel better, if you meet get there?
You can come off ADs once you are feeling better Plantaseed. It just has to managed and in stages, but as long as that happens you'll be fine. There's no reason at all to think you'll be stuck on them for years and years.
I had crippling anxiety for yeas and worked from home, I tried an anti-anxiety medication and managed to get out to work in an office with people which was huge for me at the time.
I have a stress disorder so will be on medication until it goes, I cannot sleep otherwise. I obviously don't like having to be turned off at night with a pill but it beats not sleeping tbh.
Another thing you could look into is CBT, you may have to go private.
I think working in an office with other people would help me immensely but we can't afford it and I also have my little one home with me, I could maybe afford 1 or 2 days at nursery but not a whole week.
So has your anxiety gone now? Except for the sleep problem? No more medication for it?
There is nothing wrong with taking the medication. Sometimes it's caused by a chemical imbalance
My doctor said "if you had an allergy you would take the drugs, so this is no different"
Occasionally you have to stop being strong and take the help in the form of medication. And it doesn't matter if you are on it a while. I don't even think about it, I take it in the morning with my cup of tea and then go and get on with my life
I just hope I suppose that this is just a stage and I'll get through it. I love my kids so much and want to be well for them
Mine hasn't gone but it did go. It was a lot better for a good few years.
I have PTSD now, it's all new to me tbh.
I really don't mind taking the medication if it makes me feel how I felt a couple of weeks ago, but don't want to take it of it makes me feel 'zoned out' and non emotional, does that make sense? I just want to feel my normal self, not 'muted' - I want to feel happy and joyus etc
Definitely look at CBT - I had to wait 18 months on the NHS though
Whatever helps, yoga, meditation, swimming, hypnotherapy....
PTSD is what started my anxiety. Didn't have it until a bad birth which triggered PTSD and panic attacks, but then I knew why it was happening so it was a little easier to make sense of. This time nothing has 'happened' in my life to trigger it
But if you have to go through a stage of feeling neither joyful or sad, surely that's better than panic?
It really honestly doesn't affect me (my medication anyway)
I've been incredibly happy and incredibly sad (new relationship and breakup)
18 months? That feels like forever away what do they do?
It's hard to explain but she talked me through a lot of things and we did some actual panic stuff - I'm not good with things I can't "escape" from like lifts and crowded places so we went out to a shopping centre and in lifts etc
EMUZ you're right, it will feel so much better to just calm down inside me. Just to feel calm and not worry. But feeling 'nothing' scares me. I'm grateful for your advise and hope that I will be able to still feel happy with the medication too.
Will I be able to carry on working when I take the medication? I won't have to be off work? I need to do the work.
Of course - I work for the emergency services!
I wish my doctors were open
I'm going to be a little harsh now and you can tell me to bog off if you want to
I know you wish the doctors was open, but you can't change that it isn't and dwelling on it will make you feel 100 x worse. So what are you going to do instead? Do they have OOH cover for when they are shut? What are you going to do for the rest of the day to help you?
I'm one of those irritating people that would be dragging you out for a walk and chattering away if I was there
You need coping strategies
My partner has come home from work so I've had a big cry. Even talking through what we can do to help me hasn't helped much. I don't know why I can't shift this desperate feeling. I've stopped work for the day but know it will be there tomorrow. I've got to stay strong as my little one will be home from school soon and I don't want her to know anything is wrong. But I can't rely on others everyday, that's what makes it worse
Can't use ooh as I'm too far away from surgery
Even the fact that my battery is running low on my phone is giving me anxiety for gods sake
Going out for a walk would probably help if I had the strength to walk, I haven't eaten hardly anything today, just can't face it right now. I know that not eating is probably adding to the feelings that im getting too.
Probably doesnt help
How about some soup or a milky drink or even some ice cream?
My partner made me a hot chocolate, managed half, so not too bad. Feeling a little better not doing any work but I can't keep dodging the work forever, I'll have to face it at some point
I am on diazepam and citalopram, the diazepam is to help me keep more normal until the citalopram kicks in properly (citalopram can increase anxiety at the start) It is working. You probably need something like this - but you must stop taking the St Johns Wort for two weeks before you start taking the citalopram, they do not mix. The dr is right - diazepam is addictive but 2mg is a very very low dose, im on 2mg up to three times a day and citalopram 20mg.
The diazepam is much more likely to zombiefy you than the citalopram - I was on citalopram 40mg (thats a high dose) a few years ago and i was not zombie like.
IT is horrible to be anxious all the time and i have just lost a job because of it So please make sure you sort yourself out, with the right meds and possibly soe sort of therapy you will beat this.
I found that diazepam relieved the nausea that comes with anxiety and helped me to eat and sleep. That made me feel better and broke the cycle.
Lucy - how long have you been taking them? I've only had two st johns wort, do you think I'd still have to wait two weeks?
Pinky- did you not take an ad at all then? Just diazepam? And how long did it take to work?
Thank you for all your help and kind words, it's really helped today
No, you shoudlnt have to wait if you have only taken two - i woudlnt take anymore of those tbh. I have been on the diazepam since last friday and my doctor has given me enough for another week - they are addictive so i wont be able to have anymore. Hopefully by this time the citalopram levels will be sorted.
Is it panic attacks or generalised anxiety throughout the day that you are dealing with? Im surprised that your doctor hasn't thought more long term - does he know about the st johns wort?
At least a little relief from the high anxiety all day. At times like this I think 'I can do this, what's the problem, we can sort it' type thing, but everyday the anxiety returns and builds throughout the day. Fingers crossed that this good feeling lasts a little longer this time. It's also times like this I think I shouldn't take medicine because I feel normal, tired but normal... Anxiety is such a strange thing...
No he doesn't know about the sjw my partner just bought it for me the other day when he got my multivitamins. I'm not sure what it's called. I get panic attacks and then high anxiety levels for hours on end, but then it subsides sometimes, like now and although I'm very very tired I'm not highly anxious.
Not sure if that's general anxiety or not?
Yes it is, a strange and horrible thing - I find that i tie myeslf up in notes about doing things and then when i have done them can't work out what i got so wound up about. I keep thinking i'll buy an "easy" button - you can buy them in staples (the stationers) you press it and it says "that was easy" silly but it fits my sense of humour i guess (freak). I really think you need to talk to your doctor about long term meds, you wont be able to have the diazepam for longer than a few weeks and it really will take more than that. The tiredness is from the diazepam i think.
What do you get anxious about?
So glad your feeling better already Lucy, last Friday isn't that long, so it's positive that it's working that quickly. Do you feel you need to take the diazepam or that you would be ok without them, and just on citolapram? How many did you say you were having each day?
Can I ask what's caused your anxiety?
I haven't taken any diazepam yet, as I was too scared and also had the st johns wort.
I think this time it's because of work, as two days in a row I've been terrible in the day and then in the evening been not too bad, but the problem is that we run our own business and so there is no one else to do the work, I can't get signed off or anything to have a break. No win situation really
It sounds just like me to be honest - the SJW is a herbal medicine that affects the seretonin system which is why you cannot take it with many of the anti-depressants as they too affect the seratonin system. The problem with SJW as well is that it too can take a few weeks to work and can cause agitation as a side effect. I have never taken it for this reason - i prefer drugs that have been tried and tested and are very specific the SJW has too much other stuff in it for me to be wanting to take that.
How long have you felt like this?
Even though it's horrible to say, it always makes me feel better when other people say they feel the same. It makes me realise I'm not going crazy and not alone.
Since I'm feeling better I can think about it rationally and I think it's been building for a while, maybe a couple of months, but came to a head last Friday when I had a panic attack that started this sustained high anxiety/more panic attacks feeling.
I just can't believe that I can feel so normal now but know that more than likely tomorrow will just be a repeat of today work is the thing that starts it off, although to be fair my first panic attack was Friday night so the weekend had officially begun. Who knows what's going on, only I can figure that out I suppose
You are definately not alone - you only have to do a search for anxiety on here to see how common it is. Try and get a good nights sleep there is no reason why you will feel like this tomorrow, tomorrow is a new day and you are recognising your problem - so tomorrow will be a better day.
Honestly there is no need to be worried about taking the diazepam, it will just take the edge off the anxiety. It will not zonk you out!
I am also taking an antidepressant venlafaxine 150mg for anxiety and depression but it takes a few weeks for this to kick in so the GP prescribed the diazepam as a short term measure.
Feeling more positive today
Had a good nights sleep. Tried calling doctors this morning but their systems are down so can't book an appointment. Now I'm wondering whether I should or not. I'm not sure medication is going to work, I think I just need to sort out my worries and get more help from people with my work. Work is the thing that's stressing me so hopefully if I can get that sorted I'll feel better. I'm just not sure if that's a wise choice because I'm feeling slightly better or if that's how these things work? Can I just get better by sorting out what's stressing me or am I in need of medication and I'm deluding myself thinking otherwise?
There are no rules! If work is stressing you out, no amount of medication is going to sort that out - you need to get that sorted out because otherwise you will be just masking with medication. If once you have sorted out your job you still feel bad then talk to the dr again. However, make sure that it is not your anxiety that is causing problems with work, which is how it was for me. Take care
I think I just feel like there is too much work and also I work from home with a little one. I feel like I want to 'go to work' and then enjoy my time at home. But instead I'm at home all the time and the work takes over making me anxious especially if I haven't completed something. But the anxiety makes me not want to face the work so it piles up more and more.
I think maybe I need to see a counsellor too, just writing it down I feel I nee to talk to someone to make sense of all of this. Maybe I can get to the bottom of it all and find out what I need.
What I really want is someone to tell me what I need to do for it all to go back to normal, but that's definitely not going to happen. Only I can sort this one out, but even I can't understand what to do
I really am just babbling now, I just know I'm looking forward to the evenings and weekend but dread weekdays so there must be something in that?
Well, i quit my job and i feel better! Do you work totally for yourself or do you subcontract? Can you break things down into smaller tasks, things that are achievable by the end of each day so that when you finish for the day you feel you have done what you needed to do? I know exactly what you mean about procrastinating and this is a key symptom of anxiety - i do this ALL the time. I put things off because they appear impossible and then when i have done them im about why i felt anxious about doing it because it was really simple. When i look back at some of the things that i have achieved i don't feel it is the same person, but it has my name on my thesis so it must have been me! I think anxiety eats away at your confidence and it becomes a bit of a bitter circle.
Thank you Lucy, your words have really helped. I've managed so far today without any panic attacks, underlying anxiety, but just about bearable, do I feel this is an achievement in itself
Yesterday was horrendous, but today when I've felt anxiety I've asked myself, 'what's making you feel like this?' then 'what's the worst that can happen?' I've been really dissecting my thoughts today and 'talking to myself' about why it's happening and that it's not that bad. Just got to get through. So at the moment I'm focussing on how I know I'll feel so much better once my partner is home tonight and what we could do (watch a programme together etc) and then I'll get rest at bedtime as, touch wood, I seem to be able to sleep ok.
I've also managed to eat small amounts throughout the day and have a feeling this has really helped my mood.
Everything that's bothering me, I just think 'ok, so what are you going to do about it?' it's not going to go away by itself so small steps in the right direction.
Glad you're feeling better about giving up work too. Must feel like a big relief not having that responsibility. Unfortunatlry I can't sub any work out, but have asked my partner to help me more and we will work through it together
Procrastinating is exactly what I've been doing for a few months now. And now I can see that. It's obviously been building for a while, but small steps, and I'll get it done.
I do the same, my counseller helps, well she tries to, she sets me tasks for the next 2 weeks, then I see her again and sh tells me what I have said I will do.
Try not to set yourself tasks which are too much. I do think if you really do not want to take medication talking over your anxieties can help.
I was on Mitrazipine (fat pills) but stopped them, they were brought in as an Depressant to treat Anorexia and they give you sugar/carb cravings, I was telling myself I was shallow for not taking them, so took them for a year and sure enough, I have gone up 2 dress sizes.
I now take Trazadone (since Monday), I take one at night with food as otherwise I feel quite sick and they seem to help with sleeping. Hopefully the anxiety will get better soon too.
I get sheets of paper for my CBT they help a lot a bit like this
But mine have a section for better ways to think, so say the situation was:
Going into town with 10000 of people.
Emotions: Panic/ fear/ anxiety - 90%
What is the fear of: So many people
What is the worst that can happen: Nothing really, they could all stare, so what if they do..[wimp]
Re-asses situation: Okay, lots of people but nothing bad can happen
Reassess Emotions: 40%
Result: I went into town and there were many people and it was fine, I felt a bit panicky but nothing bad happened
It's changing the way the mind reacts to situations
Sorry I missed out some words. My PTSD makes my mind work too fast.
That's exactly what I've been doing but in my head instead of writing it down. Maybe writing it will help more.
Mornings seem to be the worst time. I think because I'm thinking of all the things I have to do during the day. As the day goes on I feel better
I keep trying to tell myself that it doesn't even matter If I don't get it all done, but deep down because I know it HAS to be done it makes me anxious.
Suppose it's like a daily struggle, I'm hoping will just get a little easier each day....only time will tell.
Watch out on the "no. More panic" site above......its the lunatics running the "asylum". dodgy people in a dodgy place, trying to bring you down to their level. You might find some info there. but when they say the site is run by sufferers...they mean it. the admin & owner there are the low point. and their 'therapy' is often bringing you down with them
I had anxiety attacks, on and off for about 2 years.
For me, I really needed to look at the causes, and see how I could change my life rather than just dealing with symptoms.
I really needed to take away some of the load, and make some changes to my life.
Do you know what your triggers are? Could you work a bit less? Get more help with kids? That sort of thing.
It takes time to get rid off anxiety and panic attacks, and I can still get them (crowds stress me, so going to London for the day would be a trigger, so I avoid that), but apart from taking meds, also see what (small) changes you can make to your life.
The post about the 'no more panic' really should put me off going but strangely I want to go and have a look now.
Yappy - oh, be my guest. Go and discover who and what is there. nmp is to depression what David Cameron is to the economy.
No, I had a little look, it looks a bit fluffy for me, fluffy sites are usually deceiving. I had a little read, they don't have PTSD there so they may see me as 'different' which is fair enough as I am but.... I did look though!
Funnily enough...PTSD is probably what a lot of people have after visiting it, and leaving the site to avoid....the site. when you say fluffy...is that "people seem to be acting nice, for themselves" ?
tbh "different" might not be what they have in mind. "next victim" might be more appropriate....
I think sometimes people can act a bit OTT to hide their inner-self, I might go back to have a look but tbh having people with anxiety disorders running and maintaining the site can never be a good thing, you're always going to get a few people on a bad day and I notice some of them like me do not go out a lot, some not at all, that makes me think they get together online and have a good old bitch.
I'm pleased you escaped alive and SOH intact!
I've just found this thread and wanted to know how OP is doing.
I suffered with terrible anxiety and panic attacks about two and a half years ago. I ended up resigning from a very good, senior job and spent two years as a SAHM. Financially it was beyond tough - we only just held things together and our lifestyle changed dramatically.
For me, it worked. I also resisted regular medication. I was prescribed citolopram but didn't take it. I did take occasional diazepam to help with the really bad nights and I got through, sometimes hour by hour never mind day by day.
Often, even when I got to sleep I'd wake in the early hours in a blind panic and then not be able to sleep again. My coping strategies were various but, if I wanted to stay in bed rather than get up and get busy, I'd either force myself to read a trashy novel (sometimes I read the same page dozens of times) or I'd play a silly game on my phone or iPad. I had to force myself to do it, but it did help a bit. If the anxiety got really bad, I'd get out of bed and make myself do something.
Taking control for the anxiety and panic attacks was the hardest thing and the turning point for me. It didn't stop them at first, but it made a difference not letting them control me as much. I second the importance of being able to call someone and just asking them to talk to you.
Looking back, about six months are a fog. I know I functioned ok, but I don't know how and I only did it because I didn't have to try and work as well. I still have occasionally night-waking anxiety attacks, but these are triggered by financial worries and I can manage them more easily. I start a new job next month and I finally feel I can cope again.
I do hope this, like the other stories, help you realise how common this is. You are not alone and you will get through it.
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