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Emetophobia - my worst nightmare

(1000 Posts)
zonedout Fri 09-Nov-12 18:09:02

Ds1 goes to a school set on several different sites. Today one of the sites has been closed for deep cleaning due to norovirus wiping out hundreds of children this week. There are loads of siblings in ds1's building/class and 8 of his classmates were off today.

I am a single parent (really outing myself here!) and terrified of what feels completely inevitable right now. I was awake all night last night, waiting. Shall be doing the same again tonight.

You know, I feel like I have improved a lot with my emetophobia recently. I am no longer worried about the odd v. It's the awful, debilitating violence of noro that terrifies the life out of me.

The waiting is utter torture sad

amillionyears Fri 09-Nov-12 19:14:07

Have you been to the GP about this?
Are you the poster that posted about this 2 or 3 weeks ago when your children got a bug?

zonedout Fri 09-Nov-12 19:20:19

No, that wasn't me. There are quite a few emetophobes on MN.

Have recently started some treatment but unfortunately am
still feeling extremely panicked.


amillionyears Fri 09-Nov-12 19:25:40

Do you want to talk about the treatment, if that helps.
Not sure if I am the right poster for you to talk to.
Perhaps you need the emetophobes to come along and help.

corblimeymadam Fri 09-Nov-12 19:27:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

zonedout Fri 09-Nov-12 19:46:50

Thanks amillionyears, i think I probably do smile

Thank you BB. Nice to see your comforting presence again. Am happy to tell you if you really want to know. I know I always want every bit of detail, in some botched attempt at gang some sort of control, I suppose. Hope you are getting on ok. Really appreciate the hand hold. Really struggling with this one.

zonedout Fri 09-Nov-12 19:47:40

Gaining. Not gang. blush

Tuttutitlookslikerain Fri 09-Nov-12 19:50:37

Aww Zonedout, I know how you feel.

I am an emetophobe too. DS2's friend has had Norovirus this week. I am absolutely panicking that we are all going to come down with it. DS told me "X was sick 21 times on Tuesday!" I haven't calmed down yet!

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Fri 09-Nov-12 19:56:40

I've been in your shoes, I am better after therapy. Not cured, but better. I do still have moments of utter panic when I know there is an outbreak but they are just moments now rather than all-consuming thoughts that keep me up all night.

corblimeymadam Fri 09-Nov-12 19:57:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

zonedout Fri 09-Nov-12 19:58:08

21 times???

Oh goodness, please make it all go away.

The only time I am truly relaxed is during the summer holidays when the boys are at home with me. Norovirus season is pure hell. Don't think there has ever been an outbreak so close to home before which takes the fear to a whole new level.

corblimeymadam Fri 09-Nov-12 20:03:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

zonedout Fri 09-Nov-12 20:05:27

x posts... Yes BB, that's us.

You talk wise words. Actually during the day my fear is Vwry manageable and can even see the funny side of it hmm It's at night that I start to drive myself crazy. But you are right that I will cope (because I have to!) and also I have to remind myself that, should the worst happen, it will pass. Poor ds1 is really worried about catching it. He has just missed a whole week of school for a different bug otherwise i may well have kept him off today. Having said that I figured that he could equally go straight back and pick it up on Monday anyway. Goodness I bore even myself with this blush

zonedout Fri 09-Nov-12 20:07:03

Thank you hel. that is very encouraging. I am definitely a million times better than i used to be but still reat struggling at times like this.

zonedout Fri 09-Nov-12 20:08:02

Oh goodness, sorry for all the typos. On my iPhone, typing fast & not checking blush

corblimeymadam Fri 09-Nov-12 20:12:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tuttutitlookslikerain Fri 09-Nov-12 20:14:44

I am right in thinking that bleach kills Noro? So if one of you does get it, wash the toilet, flush handle, sink, taps, anything they touch with a bleach solution. Wash towels at 90 60, and everyone have their own. Soap and water is better than anti bac gel I think, but I wash my hands then gel them after.

I usually send my DC to school with the gel because there is never any soap in the toilets, so perhaps you could get some for their bags Zoned?

Tuttutitlookslikerain Fri 09-Nov-12 20:16:35

Sorry Zoned I didn't mean to upset you at all! blush. Many apologies if I did.

corblimeymadam Fri 09-Nov-12 20:23:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

corblimeymadam Fri 09-Nov-12 20:24:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tuttutitlookslikerain Fri 09-Nov-12 20:31:50

I am an emetophobe too BB. I hate this time of year. As soon as someone mentions the words "sickness bug" I go into panic mode. I wish I could get rid of this flipping phobia. I had CBT years ago, it didn't really work TBH. I keep thinking about going back to the GP, but think they would think I am mad!

sosotiredagain123 Fri 09-Nov-12 20:36:44

Right you can do this get prepared makes me feel better. Bowl and towel so easier to clean up and deal with

amillionyears Fri 09-Nov-12 20:37:48

zonedout, now I have wandered into this thread.
If you are reasonably ok about it by day, but not by night, I personally ignore all my thoughts awhen it is nearly bedtime, until after breakfast the next day. Because they are quite frankly rubbish, and that includes my dreams.
Might that work for you eventually?

corblimeymadam Fri 09-Nov-12 20:37:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chocolateistheenemy Fri 09-Nov-12 20:38:43

My DS got this in 2010 and was hospitalized on a drip. I've never got over the fear.
Im currently having cbt for health anxiety (of my dc's) and am on a v v v high dose of venlafaxine. I thoroughly recommend both of these in conjunction with each other.
It has taken almost a year to get the medication right. I feel finally like my old self... almost.
You guys CAN overcome this.

amillionyears Fri 09-Nov-12 20:41:19

To the others.
Can you describe which part of it all is the yukky bit, or will that not help.

I realised on a thread about this last month, that my mum is a bit like this.
Even when I was very little, me or a sibling used to have to wipe up sick, as mum was extremely reluctant to.

zonedout Fri 09-Nov-12 20:51:37

Tuttu, no apology needed. I appreciate the support smile Yes, as far as I know bleach is the only thing to actually kill norovirus.

Sosotired, good idea re preparation. I actually went out and bought some diarolyte today too.

Amillion. Thank you for that. Do you have any tips for banishing the thoughts at night? I'm just not quite sure how to do it, it can become quite overwhelming.

BB, sorry to hear that you struggle with sleep too (I do even at the best of times, am currently attempting to wage war against my insomnia with a whole host of lavendar/camomile/relaxation type products blush) Good luck for life as a fellow single parent. Can't help but smile a tiny bit at your one fear about it! I would have been the same had my xh not been away every time, without fail, either of the dc's got poorly even when we were together. He is actually travelling now which doesn't bode well either hmm as he is still pretty present in the dc's lives and would probably lend a hand if he were about. Am fairly new to this single parent lark too and you sound very sorted but I'm happy to chat about it if you ever fancy.

amillionyears Fri 09-Nov-12 20:57:16

No tips exactly, just if that thought comes into your head, think, "I will ignore it".
And repeat , and repeat.
It does take practice.
I have before now put a note under my pillow as well , just saying, "ignore, ignore, ignore". So I know the note is there when I feel it, and know what I have to do when in my sleepy state.

zonedout Fri 09-Nov-12 20:57:52

amillion, for me I think it's the total loss of control combined with not knowing when/if it will end. That and just the utterly horrible feeling of bad nausea and v. I can handle other people's v if I, very selfishly, know I can't catch it.

sorry to hear about your experience as a child. I am trying so hard to not let this effect my dc's and try so hard to be relaxed about it all but I'm afraid that this week I have been getting quite strict with my dc's about hand washing and this evening ds1 (who is already a terrible worrier sad) is really worried about getting the bug, poor baby.

zonedout Fri 09-Nov-12 21:02:39

Thank you,chocolate. I shall look into that (never heard of venlafaxine)

Hope you continue to go from strength to strength. As the mother of an asthmatic i know that there is nothing worse than having a very sick child in hospital.

amillionyears Fri 09-Nov-12 21:15:18

Not sure if I can help, but here goes.
when/if it will end - this may be the easiest part. It will end, it absolutely always does.
horrible feeling of bad nausea. Yes it is yuk. Maybe you and others with emetophobia feel it worse than the rest of us?
total loss of control. Interesting. Are you like this about other things in your life that are out of your control? Such as for example, if you are a passenger in a car or bus?

If I am making things worse, please feel very free to tell me to get lost!

sosotiredagain123 Fri 09-Nov-12 21:19:08

i also suffer with this and must say it is horrible ferry journeys etc terrify me. you will cope though and come out the other side

JulietMontague Fri 09-Nov-12 21:26:31

I'm an emetophobe and find night time the worst. DS has this bug one night last week. It broke my heart that he was so upset about being sick - I know he got that from me sad. Anyway we survived and I found being strict with myself such as insisting 'im fine, nothing bad will happen' and calming breathing techniques very effective. It will always pass, probably quicker than you think and nothing is bad as you imagine. It's a horrendous feeling and hard to imagine when you don't suffer from it.

TramadolJacket Fri 09-Nov-12 21:28:48

Op, I really feel for you, I suffer with this also.

I ip

TramadolJacket Fri 09-Nov-12 21:36:10

Op, I really feel for you, I suffer with this also.

I totally agree regarding the loss of control aspect. I guess I would also be stocking up on anti bacterial soap/ disinfectant so not much practical advice really, although I find sometimes I can take my mind off it with a good book or DVD. I know it sounds cliched but sometimes distraction really does seem to help.

TramadolJacket Fri 09-Nov-12 21:38:00

blush sorry, not sure what happened there!

HousewifefromBethlehem Fri 09-Nov-12 21:39:42

Just to let you know antibacterial hand gel DOESN'T kill norovirus. The gel provides a nice smooth culture for it to grow!! Washing hands is the best way to get it off your hands. It doesn't kill it, it dislodges it so is washed away. <good old radio 2>

Don't touch your face either if you can help it, and obviously no nail biting.

Tuttutitlookslikerain Fri 09-Nov-12 21:40:20

Sosotired my emetophobia goes back to a ferry journey, I think. I was on a school trip, and the journey home was really, really rough. Everyone was being sick. I wasn't, but I felt so ill. The boat stunk, the noise was horrendous and as it was night time we couldn't see what was going on outside. I really thought we were going to die.

Now I associate being sick with those feelings. So if someone is sick around me, I panic I am going to catch it. I can cope of DS1 has an attack of his cyclical vomiting syndrome because I won't catch it, but if someone is sick because of a bug, I panic like hell. I just can't help it. I know I won't die. I know nothing bad will happen to me, but I just can't rationalise it when I am panicking.

zonedout Fri 09-Nov-12 21:43:00

Thank you Juliet & Tramadol.

No, amillion, you are not making it worse at all. It can be nice to talk about it in an even, unemotional way actually. To kind of logic it out. Am not too bad with the control thing in other areas of my life although I definitely do have some traits. The sickness thing is the worst. I don't love flying ever since a very scary experience in my twenties but talk my way through it in my head, more than anything so the fear doesn't pass on to my dc's.

Am starting to try out your ignoring technique. I like it smile

zonedout Fri 09-Nov-12 21:49:40

Poor you Tuttu, that ferry journey sounded horrific sad I am very similar in terms of my fear of catching it but being able to cope if it is not contagious (ds2 was sick a few weeks ago but it was from his antibiotics and didn't bother me at all as I know he is prone to bring up medicine, especially when he is feeling poorly with a fever) Mine stems from me and my whole family getting salmonella as a very young child. We all spent a night I still remember vividly well over 30 years on, being very very ill indeed. My mum was too ill herself to look after or comfort me. She has also always been a bit 'funny' about cleanliness and isn't too worried about her own v but runs away from other people's.

zonedout Fri 09-Nov-12 21:50:51

Sorry, just realised I'm calling you Tuttu but you are actually Tuttut blush

The fear is messing with my brain...

corblimeymadam Fri 09-Nov-12 22:27:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

corblimeymadam Fri 09-Nov-12 22:34:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

liveinazoo Fri 09-Nov-12 22:45:38

big big hugs.another emetaphobe here.ive just started another thread as didnt want to hijack yours!.x

liveinazoo Fri 09-Nov-12 22:45:47

big big hugs.another emetaphobe here.ive just started another thread as didnt want to hijack yours!.x

zonedout Fri 09-Nov-12 22:45:56

Thanks bb, he looks great and both locations are really near me. Have recently started a similar sort of therapy but not specifically emet focused. Will give it a bit longer but good to know of a back up if it doesn't work as well as I'd like it to!

Think I know that website, will have a look now...

zonedout Fri 09-Nov-12 23:46:30

really think ds2 might be the first victim after all. He is tossing & turning & moaning/crying in his sleep. the ridiculous thing is me staying up all night listening & waiting which then becomes a vicious cycle of exhaustion making the anxiety so much worse (and lowers my resistance to the infection sad

Stupid stupid head.

corblimeymadam Fri 09-Nov-12 23:52:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

zonedout Fri 09-Nov-12 23:54:18

You are so lovely. Thank you. My stupid sensitive eyes are watering.

Sleep well, sweet dreams smile

liveinazoo Sat 10-Nov-12 00:21:45

like my therapist says if i was scared of flying i neednt go abroad,sadly having kids means avoidance is impossible sometimes

you doing great,really you are

i never thought id live to see the day where i could even be in the same room as someone who had just been sick and here i am just having to deal with the stair explosion!

i doubt we will ever be "free" of this but its learning to LIVE with it<as in living our lives and working around it rather than stopping and stop doing anythingwhich i hold up my hand and admit i have sont thus far>

i am very gratefull fo the fabulous support i get from my psychologist.he very understanding.the last time my tribe were ill<slapped cheek and 2 of the 4 threw up at the start before we found out that was what they had>he rang me every day and tried his best to send calming vibes my way<it also helped him realise just how debilitated i felt/behaved>

fro the age of 13 til last year when i bit the bullet and admitted to a professional this was what had been main source my MH issues <i have ocd fuelled by this and depression> i was embarrassed to admit to anyone i couldnt deal with it,couldnt even say teh word sick i was that paetners always had to tend the kids and i struggled to be near them for 4 days after they had been ill case i got anything

its good to be open as isolating the issues make you feel "stupid" when really you are not the only one and people have been really supportive

hugs and calming vibes wafting your way!

corblimeymadam Sat 10-Nov-12 04:51:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

brighthair Sat 10-Nov-12 05:47:03

I hope you have got some sleep. It's one of those stupid things people saying "oh I know how you feel" but I am phobic. Not too bad with other people but even feeling sick tips me over the edge. I went down with norovirus 2 years ago. Honestly? I was sick twice, the rest of it was just horrible cramps and diarrhoea. I still worry about getting it again but the main fear is the cramps as they hurt! Soap and hot water is the best thing, I just try and be a little more careful about washing my hands
It's an awful feeling, I was crying on the phone to my mum when I had it
My phobia is the out of control thing, I'm not good with planes or lifts too

zonedout Sat 10-Nov-12 07:55:28

Happy to report that the night passed without mishap & the dc's seem fine so far. Thank you all so much for the handholding. I appreciate it enormously. Will, no doubt, be back to panic stations tonight blush

Managed about 4 hours sleep which is unheard of for me in these situations.

zonedout Sat 10-Nov-12 07:56:26

Thanks brighthair. I don't love planes or lifts either, interestingly.

amillionyears Sat 10-Nov-12 07:56:34

zonedout, hope you slept well, or at least well enough.
Hope your children are fine.

I am starting to realise, reading the emetophobia stories on here, just how bad it is for you all.
The only think I can compare it to for me is r a t s.
The poster who said they can barely say the word s i c k, it is a bit like that for me with r a t s . And again, that stems from instances that I remember vividly still from childhood which I wont go into now.

And for myself, I can see that I should ration out which bits precisely alarm me. And see if I can do something about it.
But for me, the problem rarely comes up, but I can see that for entophobes, it is more difficult to escape.

amillionyears Sat 10-Nov-12 08:18:20

Sitting here thinking about rats, it is the out of control thing, and the fact that they are sooo ugly. As an aside, I went to London zoo years ago, and they have, or did have a building of night time creatures, lots of which I had never seen before. And some of those creatures were unbelieveably ugly. And I realised I might have a bit of problem dealing with those if I were to bump into them.

re being out of control. On the whole, I have realised over the years, that we have a lot less control over our lives and others that we care about, than I thought. And I have come to accept this.
Still struggle with rats and my husband's driving though.

liveinazoo Sat 10-Nov-12 08:38:12

morning everyone
<waves to zonedout>
glad you got some sleep honey!
i will be around tonight if you want to chatwink<from around 10>

zonedout Sat 10-Nov-12 13:04:57

liveinazoo, meet you here tonight with a wine hope all ok

amillion, will respond this evening once the dc's are in bed smile

liveinazoo Sat 10-Nov-12 13:20:30

<i will bring the choclolates!grin>

corblimeymadam Sat 10-Nov-12 17:19:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

zonedout Sat 10-Nov-12 17:56:56

Hi BB smile no signs of anything untoward thanks goodness. Have had a lovely day with my ds's, mostly pottering at home. Only went out for an hour to do a puppet making workshop at the local school which was fab. It's my first full weekend with them for months as weekends are usually split with xh sad

Have been absolutely fine and relaxed all day but now that the evening is setting in I can feel the panic setting in again. hmm

How was your day? smile

corblimeymadam Sat 10-Nov-12 18:11:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hormonalhell Sat 10-Nov-12 18:12:05

Another one here, I'm 7 months pregnant too...................must be crazy starting all over again as my two DC's are at age where they can see to themselves now (10 and 12). I too am a single mum but I think as the kids have got older my anxiety has lessened. I wouldnt let their dad work away from home when they were small blush

My daughter caught the bug herself the other week and I was home alone with her all day, first time I have ever done that. I just stood in the other room until it was over and then cleaned the bucket and gelled mine and her hands. I didn't catch it, I dont think I ever have from the children as I am so meticulous with hygiene and wash everything!!! That may give you some comfort OP, I always feel anxious and sick for a day or so after and convince myself I have it but I never do smile. My BF also just had it the other week and I didnt catch it from him either.

Belgianbun I remember us comforting each other years ago, my username was Crazydazy then smile

corblimeymadam Sat 10-Nov-12 19:21:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

zonedout Sat 10-Nov-12 19:29:06

BB, hope you are enjoying strictly grin I am a big fan. Xh is away until next weekend so am very much alone, which only adds to my anxiety. If he were here (and not busy hmm he would help out. Ds1 would be ok with that but ds2 o ly wants me when he is ill anyway and, quite frankly, I do actually think I am braver on my own somehow. I guess just knowing that I absolutely have to get on with it.

zonedout Sat 10-Nov-12 19:33:19

Why on earth do I always forget my closed bracket? I'm annoying myself with it.

Just realised I completely contradicted myself in the above... I know what I meant, at least hmm

zonedout Sat 10-Nov-12 21:22:58

Back on vom watch sad

amillionyears Sat 10-Nov-12 21:30:46

Is norovirus worse at night/evenings?

corblimeymadam Sat 10-Nov-12 21:33:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

zonedout Sat 10-Nov-12 21:38:25

It's not so much that but the emetophobia gets much worse at night. Most stomach bugs seem to start in the night. The salmonella I had as a little girl, which I believe is at the root of all this, woke me from my sleep in the night.

I really had improved recently in that my emet is very manageable during the day and that I am no longer afraid of the very minor bugs that involve one or two v's. But the combo of noro being present in our school and nighttime (also something about the darkness, queitness and being alone)

Interesting what you said up thread about your own phobia. I don't like them (in fact I had one in my house not so long ago shock but I don't go into panic about them. I guess for you, it's the opposite. You probably don't like being sick but nor do you go into blind panic at the merest possibility.

amillionyears Sat 10-Nov-12 21:43:24

belgianbun, the problem for you sounds like it is the anxiety itself rather than the actual sickness??

zonedout Sat 10-Nov-12 21:49:52

Thanks BB.

I think it is an anxiety thing. For us emets, for different reasons of varying complexity, the anxiety is focused on being sick. Generally based in some old and out of date sub conscious message.

I know in the past, the fear and apprehension has been far far worse than the actual act. But, as I say, those experiences have been relatively mild compared to what I hear about norovirus.

I am sure BB will be along to put it all far more eloquently than me, if I haven't x posted already grin

amillionyears Sat 10-Nov-12 21:50:25

zonedout, it does sound like what happened to you as a child is the root.

Mine is too, though I am not sure I would class it as a phobia. Difficult to tell as r a t s dont make too much of an appearance in my life nowadays. Would hate to be in an enclosed space with a lot of them, which is what happened to me on a regular but infrequent basis. Actually just posting this is making me a bit tense.

No, sickness is yuk, but it doesnt really bother me. It doesnt move or attack, so I am fine with it.

Sounds like you need to ignore ignore ignore again. Hope it helps a bit like it did last night.

Do you want to talk a liitle about what happened when you were a child, or is this not the right time or place?

AfishhCalledElvira Sat 10-Nov-12 21:51:51

I'm a hypnotherapist and have treated x3 people with this phobia in the last 2 weeks! You don't need to live with the fear. Usually 1-2 sessions are all that's needed to take fear down to much more reasonable levels. Find a GHR registered therapist smile

corblimeymadam Sat 10-Nov-12 21:52:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

amillionyears Sat 10-Nov-12 22:02:09

Heck belgianbun, that all sounds severe. sad
That must somewhat control your life ,and to a certain extent others around you.

zonedout Sat 10-Nov-12 22:02:43

<zoned wishes she had just left bb to the explanation all along as she is far more clever, knowledgable and eloquent>

Couldn't have put it better myself. What BB says is exactly my experience of it. It's actually blardy awful, how all consuming it is. When I see it written down like that it really hits home as I think I get so used to my 'coping' behaviours I barely notice I'm doing them.

Afish, I have recently had 2 sessions of hypnotherapy (actually initially for my insomnia) I do think I am a tiny but calmer than I would have been without them, given the situation. Perhaps I should ask to deal specifically with my emetophobia for a while? I did touch on it but the hypnotherapist somehow didn't think it so relevant, more a symptom of my deeper stuff (or something)

AfishhCalledElvira Sat 10-Nov-12 22:12:30

Zonedout has your Hypno regressed you yet? Obviously I don't know the details but I usually consider insomnia to be a symptom rather than a separate issue? A phobia with a presenting symptom of insomnia is common due to the active sympathetic nervous system being activated by the phobia. (Excess cortisol being released by the fight or flight mode causes insomnia/-anxiety etc )

MsElleTow Sat 10-Nov-12 22:13:14

My emetophobia actually stops me taking painkillers which might help. If I read an information leaflet in a pill box and it says 1:10 suffer nausea or vomiting, I won't take them. I refuse strong painkillers after operations. I'd rather the pain than be sick.

I have never been drunk because I don't want to be sick. If DH and I go out I barely drink any fluids s I don't go to the loo incase someone is in there being sick.

When there is a bug in the house I literally don't eat anything and drink the bare minimum as I think if it is not 'down' it can't come up. I never touch lift buttons when I am out, or toilet door handles and very, very rarely eat anything.

I'm glad your day was fine

AfishhCalledElvira Sat 10-Nov-12 22:15:00

If you work with the root cause then the other presenting symptoms will disappear normally. I'd ask them to tackle the emetophobia before the insomnia smile

zonedout Sat 10-Nov-12 22:21:11

The hypontherapy is actually all very much about being calm and relaxed in general. He then sends me home with a cd recording of some of the session to listen to. I suffer from insomnia even when my emetophobia is fairly benign (Summer school holidays for instance!) I felt completely zonked for the rest of the day after my last session, which was a bit odd.

Thanks MsElleTow (love it grin) and sorry you are a fellow sufferer. I am very careful about what medication I take and also eat the bare minimum if there is a bug in the house.

AfishhCalledElvira Sat 10-Nov-12 22:33:56

Being calm and relaxed is great as it counters all that cortisol. I'd work on the phobia as then it removes another source of the insomnia. Good luck

InNeedOfBrandy Sat 10-Nov-12 22:39:09

Sorry I haven't read the other 82 messages but OP I understand. I almost cancelled seeing a friend because her friends daughter had a bug and I don't go out where people will be to drunk/be around drunk people in case they vom. I can't even sit in the back of a car if there isn't a door in case I vom, or in a seat thats not an aisle seat in the cinema for example.

Apparently CBT training helps I posted before on this and got told a website to go to and he has a test about this and I answered yes to every single question but one. Will have a look back on threads Iv'e started and see if I can find link if you'd like?

zonedout Sat 10-Nov-12 22:41:32

Thank you smile

I am due to have a session this week (noro permitting blush) so will mention it again.

SantasHugandRollintheSnow Sat 10-Nov-12 22:53:26

I also have this. For the whole of the winter I panic about norovirus. My dh knows this and warned me on his way home from work last week he felt sick, I had a full scale panic attack. My dsis was here thank god and she had to calm me down and deal with me putting a bucket by the toilet, a towel Solely for him in the bathroom and his own toilet roll. He was fine, just tired.

I always ask if people are ok, if ds1 is not himself I panic its going to be a bug, I've cancelled plans due to the fear of catching something and inspect my food before I eat each bite. I overlook chicken and wash my hands after each egg is cracked when baking. I'm already on sertraline 100mg!

Hope everything is good in your houses, this phobia is frankly both ridiculous and debilitating. Hate is a strong word but I HATE it.

zonedout Sat 10-Nov-12 22:53:52

Thank you InNeed. Sorry you are suffering from this hideous phobia too. I would really appreciate that link, if its not too much of a pain. Might be a good thing for you to find for you, anyway?

SantasHugandRollintheSnow Sat 10-Nov-12 22:54:04

Ps the bucket is still there blush

MsElleTow Sat 10-Nov-12 22:55:52

Zoned it's Tuttut, I've name changed for Christmas!grin

zonedout Sat 10-Nov-12 22:58:34

Sorry Santas sad

It's really quite depressing how common this is. Almost no one in real life knows about my phobia as I am quite embarrassed by it (having said that I have given away some very exposing details over the last 24hours so that may no longer be the case) Thank goodness for forums like this.

zonedout Sat 10-Nov-12 22:59:59

Ah, hello Tuttut!! I was wondering where you had got to. Loving your new festive name smile. You ok?

InNeedOfBrandy Sat 10-Nov-12 23:01:48

The Dr who's done loads of research and work on it is called David Veale if you ant to google.

this is the questionaire link

here was my thread that a few others shared on if you wanted to read

it's shit isn't it when it takes over your life and no one really gets it.

zonedout Sat 10-Nov-12 23:15:36

Thank you, InNeed. Have had a read, very interesting.

A little shock and sad at some of the responses on your thread.

Are you looking into some cbt for yourself?

InNeedOfBrandy Sat 10-Nov-12 23:23:42

I think I should but I hate going to the drs, I think I also have IBS to but I just can't go and talk about it all. I'm thinking of writing it down and just showing the dr so I don't forget what to say and minimise it.

zonedout Sat 10-Nov-12 23:37:45

Oh are you me? Actually I don't so much mind going to the doctors (barring the risk of picking up a stomach bug while I'm there) but I do find I forget what I wanted to say or, similarly, minimise it. I am also pretty sure I have IBS too. I Writing it all down is a good idea.

InNeedOfBrandy Sat 10-Nov-12 23:49:43

I hate it because I think who's got a stomach bug, did they sit in this chair, did they open this door will I get ill.

I love MN theres always someone who gets it on here.

kerstina Sun 11-Nov-12 09:16:47

It is very reassuring to read that I am not the only one who has these fears.I really think what has made my fear worse over the last few weeks is the updates on facebook saying that people we know have got it. Also the sheer number of threads on mumsnet about sickness bugs makes the threat seem very real.
I have a lot of friends who are not exactly phobic but who really hate and are scared of being sick and don't like having to confront it even those who work with children. I think it is an instinct to find sick repellant and so natural but us emetophobes have made it even more scary by focusing on it so much!
I am a very sensitive person and get anxious easily just wondered if that is a common trait with others who suffer?

Hello, trying to stay calm, vicious sickness bug going around DSs's school (it was even mentioned in the newsletter). Lots of their classmates off, two of my mummy friends had it yesterday and mentioned the fact on facebook. How on earth can I stay calm with this going on? I have man flu as well, as does DS3. I hate November.

I am also very sensitive, anxious, terrified also of balloons and fireworks.

corblimeymadam Sun 11-Nov-12 09:48:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

corblimeymadam Sun 11-Nov-12 09:49:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hi Belgianbun, one of my friends has just posted on facebook that she's been 'yakking from both ends' and I just feel on hyper alert. Next week seems really scary as DSs will be back at school sad Trying to be rational about it. Sometimes I wonder if a good bout of stomach bug will cure me. I haven't really been sick properly for 20 years, despite being pregnant five times and catching lots of bugs when DS1 was a baby.

InNeedOfBrandy Sun 11-Nov-12 10:42:23

I know there's loads of fb dates and MN threads and I have to read them all.

My dd friend had a stomach bug and only had 1 day off school instead of the two so I told her she wasn't allowed to play with him for the rest of the week. But fingers crossed that's the only incident I've heard from school so far.

liveinazoo Sun 11-Nov-12 11:03:29

you guys all could be me!
i avoid doctors if i can from november til may!
my dd2 was told not to play someone whose whole family succumbed to noro even though she had had the 24hr after illness before back at school

my psycologist reminds me no one likes being sick<he said except maybe bulimics?>and in the beginning people would have avoided anyone being sick as a preservation thing,so its kinda inbred

i too would love to work with kids,my youngest is now in reception year at school.i went in to help out and 4 days later had 48hr feeling very sik adn sharp pain and swore i wouldnt do that againsad

i was no good to man nor beast as was super anxious as well as feeling like crap<i fight any feeling to be sick and survived 4 pregnancies on mints and ginger in the early stagesblush

i find it very comforting the amount support on here-when i posted in april my fear bout a child coming to dd2 birthday party whose brother was sick the response was brilliant adn i realised having understanding is,for me,a great comfort

i try to avoid parents at the gates and am not on face book as if i heard all the stories i would roll myself in a duvet and stay there til the "threat" had passed

anyone who says dont be silly or is dismissive doesnt really understand just how debilitating it is
im ashamed to say i cant cuddle my kids when tehy have been sick and this weekend is the 1st time ive had to clear up behind an accident<my eldest is 18>as my fear is so great i just physically have not been able to deal with it>
as ive always had a partner who would do it<but recently dp has been very worried bout his job and wont help if at work>

we shall sit here and support each other.offer hand holding and general comfort til this dreadful time passes again

i will always support another sufferer and you can message me anytime.x

corblimeymadam Sun 11-Nov-12 16:35:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

corblimeymadam Sun 11-Nov-12 16:45:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

InNeedOfBrandy Sun 11-Nov-12 16:57:58

liveinazoo I can't hug my dc if they are sick either.

BB My dd brings up phlegm in her sleep when she has a cough to, every single year without fail. I don't have any suggestions how to help apart from kavol plug ins, vicks on her feet, those pillow capsules and calpol before bed every night and a bottle of water that doesn't leak in her bed. I get up fuck knows how many times to make her sip her water to stop coughing so she doesn't vom. Tbh it does happen every winter and after that one night it seems to get better so not sure if it's better to let it happen and then it's ok ish again or do what I do and try everything to stop it.

I keep a spare duvet already with a cover on and a sheet and pillow in airing cupboard so if she does bring anything up in the night it's a boom bang everything in the washing machine bed takes 2 secs to sort out and then back to bed for you.

corblimeymadam Sun 11-Nov-12 16:58:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

corblimeymadam Sun 11-Nov-12 17:00:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

InNeedOfBrandy Sun 11-Nov-12 17:05:07

Well I can't hold your hand just in case LOL, but bb I'm sure it's just the end of her cold <fingers crossed>

corblimeymadam Sun 11-Nov-12 17:48:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Sun 11-Nov-12 18:17:03

This is my previous post on the subject and I am much better but I am mildly freaking out as DD's asthma is still playing up and despite antibiotics last week she sounds like she has a chest infection again/still. She text a while ago to say she feels rough and is coughing up rust coloured mucous. I've always been an emetophobe but mine heightened after she has a seizure as a small child that last 2.5 hours and in the ambulance on the way to hospital she went blue while they tried to insert an airway and had a respiratory arrest. I was an awful mother and just wanted them to stop the ambulance so I could get out and run home as I couldn't deal with the idea of her dying before my eyes. I know that chances are, tonight we'll end up in OOH and they'll send us to A&E and A&E at night means drunks vomiting and I'm sure noro will be there too. She'll freak as she's an emetophobe too and I'll have to battle it to stay calm. She's 22 now but it still freaks me out.

Anyway, my previous post was this....

About 3 years ago I was like you. I spent Christmas locked in my room avoiding my family. Every spare minute was spent watching the news or reading Teletext to see how Norovirus was affecting the area I lived in. Going to work was a nightmare because I worked in a school, I would focus on the children who were off sick and work myself into a frenzy trying to figure out if they had Noro and if I'd been in contact with them. I'd constantly scrutinize the behaviour of my family to see if they were sickening for something, almost every minute of my waking day was controlled by the fear of someone being sick near me. Going into shops/cinemas/schools was a real battle, I knew I couldn't let the phobia control me but I could see that slowly and surely it was dictating how I spent my day. If I knew there was an outbreak in the school I worked in or somewhere my family had been then I wouldn't eat so that I couldn't be sick. I would drink only tiny sips of boiled water. Eventually I plucked up courage to ask my GP for help and was referred for CBT, luckily my referral came through quickly.

Three years down the line I am not cured but I am much better. I can eat pork, I am more relaxed around chicken, I can eat out and I can go abroad on holiday. All of those things I couldn't do before because my phobia ruled my life. Please try to pluck up the courage to speak to someone.

corblimeymadam Sun 11-Nov-12 18:34:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BB hope you are ok, I'm sure it is just a bad cough, cold. Some children are sick when they cough a lot with a cold. Mine don't but I know others who do. I am sure if she had norovirus she'd start throwing up and keep throwing up for 12 hours or whatever it is. I know how horrible the anxiety feels. I just have this huge desire to run away from the house whenever there is a risk of sickness. It's so very hard. I think I have two fears, one is being sick, the other is not being able to look after everyone because I am being sick. So my biggest fear is not being in control perhaps.

Does anyone here know where their phobia stems from? I used to be really, really bad when I was at primary school. Absolutely terrified of anyone being sick in class or assembly and terrified for days waiting for me to get it. I used to have nightmares of not being able to escape from a room where someone was being sick. I got a bit better when I had children. But it is still there. It really annoys me. I hate it. I want to be rational!

liveinazoo Sun 11-Nov-12 19:42:22

BB <gels hands and offers to you before offers to hold your handsmile>
little zoo retches when snot goes dow her freaks me big time but shes a trooper and has rarely not made it to the loo if it happens<bless her>

ive found dairy increaases mucous big time.ginger,lemon,garlic and thyme are all reputed to help loosen mucous so i try and make stir frys with garlic,ginger and lemon and add lots ginger and garlic<which incidentally are both anti viral,anti carcogenic and anti bacterial!> to her foods.vitamin c<fruits and veg> also help so smoothies<and especially soups,again with garlic and ginger and as are warm>loosen it up.while not having milk i make sure eat lots green veggies and tahini is an excellent source of calciumwink

prop her up well with pillows-i make what my mumcalled a pillow chair<lay a pillow at each end of her pillow running down the bed to make a kind of upside down u shape.then add 1-2 more pillows on the normal one>then she lays in the middle and it stops moving around/slipping down as much as normal

olbas oil ona tissue by pillow eases any nose blocking which can lead to mucous slip down throat and cough being triggered

have i covered all those bases?

i need someone to recommend a good handcream that isnt super expensive.they are so chapped from rigorous washing <and i admit to a smitch of bleach added to the soapblush

<hopes someone is about and im not making a total arse of myself whittering on alone!>

liveinazoo Sun 11-Nov-12 19:52:26

becky lack of control is a huge part of it
id rather cut my own throat than have to be sicksad

im scared i wont be able to look after my kids if i get ill fullstop<it was a nghtmare when swine flu swept through my house.i nursed them all and then i got it as they were all powering back up.wrecked the place adn i could barely lift my head let alone maintain controlsad

needeing alot of control is anxiety related.the calmer we are the easier it is to go with the flow rather than fret of all the posibilities that accompany our options

cbt has taught me so much.ive been having it since january and recently we have added a tecnique that is used to treat traumatised disorders that involves eye movements<damn name of it wont come to me at the moment>
i have to focus on an unpleasant thought and watch therapist mve his finger back and forth at the same time.anxiety soars.we do this a few times then repeat adding a positive mantra.its meant to help unlock deep seated thoughts and emotional responses.i wasnt sure if it was working but it must have done something as there is no way i couldve cleared up vomit before<both my dd had slapped cheek just before the summer holiday ad were ill 4 days before the rash.i kept away from themsad>

InNeedOfBrandy Sun 11-Nov-12 19:53:30

I use bleach on my hands to if anyone I know has a bug. I use body shop hemp handcream or the foot one which works even better to stop the skin peeling off.

becky mine comes through my mum who is a fellow sufferer and a case of my dsis who used to get car sick and once puked on me and my dad wouldn't pull over while I was hysterical. I know I hated sick before that though but it was the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I also vividly remember in assembly a girl 2 rows behind me puking everywhere and on anyone who was near (I scrambled up and tried to get out of the school).

InNeedOfBrandy Sun 11-Nov-12 19:57:00

Oh and the poster who said she'd of jumped out the ambulance I so so relate! My dd was choking and being sick and I ran out of the room while my friend jumped up turned her upside down and unlodged what she was choking on. I had to sit down where I was shaking so much and couldn't go back into the house until friends sister came to say it's all clear now.

liveinazoo Sun 11-Nov-12 19:57:11

how awful inneedsad
i remember my mum turning me away from aboy who was being sick in the gutterhad eaten too much chocolate from the look of it> when i was 3 and being told it was disgusting.thats my earliest memory.throguht

liveinazoo Sun 11-Nov-12 19:59:28

gah!damn screen froze and posted before i was ready!

thoguh therapy ive discovered ive hoarded every experiance i had as a child being sick as traumaticsad

ive remembered what the therapy is called!
EMDR-Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprogramming!grin

I hate facebook at the moment, friend of mine and DS2's best friend's mum talking about how sick they've been, and their DSs. So now I'm convinced that mine could come down with it tonight if they got it on Friday at school (2 day incubation). Really worried sad

liveinazoo Sun 11-Nov-12 20:14:03

<sending positive vibes your way becky>
my ds was sick fri night and im fretting case teh girls get it tonight<whilst dp is woking and i have no support,cept on here>

ive always avoided facebook and i dont watch the local news in teh winter.i dont need to highten my anxiety by hearing local hospital has outbreaks noro etc

sometimes ignorance is blissgrin!

liveinazoo Sun 11-Nov-12 20:15:53

woking?meant workingblush

zoned are you still with us honey?

SantasHugandRollintheSnow Sun 11-Nov-12 20:24:15

I'm terrified of getting it tonight because its my nan's funeral tomorrow. I haven't been near anyone who has it but because I have to be somewhere really important tomorrow I'm panicking ill get sick in the night which in turn makes me feel sick blush.

liveinazoo Sun 11-Nov-12 20:27:06

santa im so sorry for yor loss.anxiety defo makes these thoughts more urgently threatening

can you do something relaxing to try and "bring you down" a little bit?<nice bath/chamomile tea/if all else fails a snifter of alcohol?>

InNeedOfBrandy Sun 11-Nov-12 20:46:31

zoo it can still give me nightmares now.

<sending becky and santas you will all be fine and not get ill vibes>

It's quite interesting about the control aspect, I hate to admit it but I have to be in control in all situations.

zonedout Sun 11-Nov-12 21:39:10

Hi all. Sorry for my absence today, had a really busy one out all day with the ds's. am absolutely shattered after barely sleeping due to being on vom watch the ,sat few nights combined with a busy day.

BB, how are you doing lovely? How's dd? Sorry I haven't been here to handhold. Am sure she is ok, just coldly. A doctor once told me that we tend to only have one viral load at a time so if she has a cold/flu thing it is unlikely she would have anything else.

zoo, a, so proud of how well you have done. Amazing.

I am absolutely dreading sending ds1 back to that germ factory again tomorrow. Wish I could keep him off this week sad

Marne Sun 11-Nov-12 21:48:21

<hugs to all of you and waves to all of you i have spoken to before>, i hate this time of year, last year was horrid, i had verious treatment, medication and we made it through the winter bug free, it was the first year we have managed to avoid it, i feel lucky but am extra worried this year as i cant see us avoiding it again. The next few weeks will be the most stressful and my main fear is being ill for christmas. I do feel a little more relaxed (have come off the meds and have a stash of anti sickness tablets in the house).

Last week a friend posted on fb about her family having 'the bug', i tried not to panic but found myself checking her status every day and worrying that she would send her kids back to school before the 48 hour guide line (her kids are not even in my dd's classes so not sure why i was so stressed about it).

I'm now counting down the days until the end of term and dreading the day dd1 comes home and says 'xxxxx was sick today' (thats when i freak out).

kerstina Sun 11-Nov-12 22:24:56

Someone asked about how there fears started well as a very young girl about 3 or 4 I had a really horrible nightmare involving all the Babapapas (cartoon that was on in the 70's) being sick everywhere. It was really horrible and definitely the start of my phobia.
It is amazing how so many of us got through our pregnancies without being sick almost like we stopped it happened ourselves. I felt continually nauseous but never vomited!
As far as working with children goes it's actually not happened that much to me only a handful of times. I panicked the once and covered the sick up with a towel. The worst was when I worked as a nanny and had to look after the sick child. I was not happy about that but presume it is the norm with nannies ?

corblimeymadam Sun 11-Nov-12 22:26:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

corblimeymadam Sun 11-Nov-12 22:26:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

corblimeymadam Sun 11-Nov-12 22:27:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

InNeedOfBrandy Sun 11-Nov-12 22:34:11

Everything people are posting I'm agreeing with. kerstina during my pregnancy 's I was the same!

bbun I hope she's ok, if she ate all that I would think she's ok. Give her prunes tomorrow.

zonedout Sun 11-Nov-12 22:39:37

BB, I am certain she doesn't have noro... The tummy ache will be, as you say, the result of no poo since Friday (i'd be in agony) or possibly as a result of the cough/cold (swollen glands in the tummy that children get when poorly... There is a medical name for it but my brain is running on empty tonight) My 2 both get sore tummies from time to time with coldy bugs.

Please try to get some sleep. If nothing else to help you cope with any future panics.

Hi Marne smile I remember you

corblimeymadam Sun 11-Nov-12 22:44:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

liveinazoo Sun 11-Nov-12 23:10:26

some anyone here?

both my girls have just thrown up everywheresad

i am a panicking wreck treeified im next

please please help me

BeaWheesht Sun 11-Nov-12 23:13:41

Oh zoo sad remember you've got through this so far ok? You can keep going, you can. They will be better soon - try and keep the bigger picture in mind and take big deep breaths. There's no option but to deal with this - get as prepared as you can be and keep hand washing and what helps me is to think logically of what's the worst that could happen? Me being sick? Awful but I'd survive it - try not to catostrophise thins though I know that's very hard .

You can deal with this.

liveinazoo Sun 11-Nov-12 23:17:36

i can barely breathe and i feel sick with fear

i would rather cut my own throat rather than be sick,and im not even joking

i cant do this

BeaWheesht Sun 11-Nov-12 23:21:16

You can.

You have to.

I know how you feel, i do, I am sick of anxiety ruling my life but nowadays I've realised that actually when I analyse it half of what I'm scared of is how anxious I will be iykwim? Try and think through the anxiety and realise this is not the end Of the world. X

liveinazoo Sun 11-Nov-12 23:25:48

please make the thoughts in my head stop

i want to die or run away

sosotiredagain123 Sun 11-Nov-12 23:26:28

Now listen to me you dealt with your son and did not get it. He was only sick twice. You dealt with it the other night and will again. Now take a deep breath and say I can do this

sosotiredagain123 Sun 11-Nov-12 23:27:01

Ok so where are your dds

BeaWheesht Sun 11-Nov-12 23:27:53

Can you put some headphones in with some loud noise / music on and sit so you can see your dd s but you're able to zone out a bit?

You know you can't leave so you need to try and put that put of your mind because ime it only makes things more unbearable.

tutu100 Sun 11-Nov-12 23:29:34

I've only just seen that both your dd's have been sick. How are you doing now? Have you been able to sort them out/calm them down. Keep taking deep breaths and I know it is hard, but really try to focus on your dd's rather than letting the panic and anxiety overcome you.

I am really feeling for you. I was seriously emetophobic for 12 years. I had hyperemesis in 2 pregnancies which sort of helped me overcome it a bit. I am now at thye stage where I can cope in the children are ill. If I feel sick it's another matter though!, but in 6 years I have never caught a stomach bug off the kids, so hopefully you will be ok.

Keep coming back on here to off load your thoughts.

liveinazoo Sun 11-Nov-12 23:29:54

dd2 has thrown up in the hallway,everywhere
dd3 been sick upstairs,i cant even get to her...
shes only just turned 5

my stomach is spinning

please,i cant breathesad

InNeedOfBrandy Sun 11-Nov-12 23:32:09

Zoo tell them both to sit in the bath, least if they are sick again it's contained in a bleachable space.

BeaWheesht Sun 11-Nov-12 23:33:27

You can get to her. Remember the sawdust. You need to be able to get upstairs.

You can do this.

tutu100 Sun 11-Nov-12 23:33:59

Have they been sick, or is this still the first time? Remember deep breaths. You can take things slowly. Now two sick children is a lot for anyone. Is there anyone you can call for help. Even if you didn't have emetophobia that would be a good thing to do. If there is no one who can come and help you I would first try and get both of them into the bathroom and clean them of in the bath. Bag up their clothing for your DP to deal with later.

Is your bath room upstairs or down. Can you get dd3 to come to you?

InNeedOfBrandy Sun 11-Nov-12 23:34:40

Yes you can do this and you will not get sick, lots and lots of bleach and handwashing.

liveinazoo Sun 11-Nov-12 23:35:45

i can hear little zoo being sik again
dd2 has just shouted up to her and i dont know bout the 1st time but this time she been sick in the bedroom bin<which i keep lined with a bag in case>

shes crying
i can never forgive myself for this

stupid stupid head

<sobbing and gasping for air>

BeaWheesht Sun 11-Nov-12 23:37:57

Stop the guilt and just do your best - you need to get to her however hard that is. Put sawdust on all the sick and get the kids cleaned up, once they're settled bleah etc the sick. Otherwise they'll be wandering around covered in sick.

InNeedOfBrandy Sun 11-Nov-12 23:39:30

Zoo you haven't done anything to not forgive yourself for. You are doing the best you can and you will do this.

tutu100 Sun 11-Nov-12 23:41:33

OK, don't beat yourself up. This is your biggest fear. To you it is the worst thing that could have happened. It is hard, but it is not impossible. You can do this, you can cope.

Is there anyone you can call for help? Is there anyway your DP can come home from work even if just for an hour to help you get on top of things.

Sort the children out first. Clean them up so that they feel a bit better, then you can start to tackle the rest of the mess.

When my ds's are sick I instantly get that cold feeling and am frozen, but I have learnt that thinking about it and looking at it make me worse. Cleaning it up is not pleasent, but I know I feel a hell of a lot better once it is out of sight and the smell has gone.

I promise you can do this.

sosotiredagain123 Sun 11-Nov-12 23:43:32

you are doing your best now talk to her get the three of you to the bathroom somehow

corblimeymadam Sun 11-Nov-12 23:43:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sosotiredagain123 Sun 11-Nov-12 23:44:53

zoo you will get through this and come out the otherside

sosotiredagain123 Sun 11-Nov-12 23:52:17

zoo how are you doing

InNeedOfBrandy Sun 11-Nov-12 23:56:12

talk to us zoo

sosotiredagain123 Sun 11-Nov-12 23:59:19

zoo honey you can do it honest

tutu100 Mon 12-Nov-12 00:10:23

Zoo I'm hoping you haven't posted on here for a bit because you've been able to see to your daughters. Let us know how things are going.

liveinazoo Mon 12-Nov-12 00:18:17

ive been sobbing and gasping down the phone at dp

he has begged his mum<who hates me> to come and help

she cant stand the sight of me but worries about her son being stressed so she has turned up and done the hall

dd2 has had a bit water and is now vomiting profusely in the loosad

little zoo is very proud herself as she made the bin in their room<lined with a bag>,only a little bit on the floor and on her pj top.grandma is just about to sort her now shes finished comforting dd2

ive totally lost in hell.terrified and wanting to die

my tummys hurting and i have acid in my praying its just the panicsad

InNeedOfBrandy Mon 12-Nov-12 00:20:23

Zoo you know you are fine and are making yourself feel ill over thinking it.

You are so very lucky having MIL to come and clean up envy

You are getting through this <hugs>

sosotiredagain123 Mon 12-Nov-12 00:21:04

so glad you have help. fingers crossed your tummy is just due to stress

liveinazoo Mon 12-Nov-12 00:23:41

mil has told the girls not to drink anymore as we think that made dd2 vomit again,at least for a while

she bin fab with the girls,they are all sorted now

sosotiredagain123 Mon 12-Nov-12 00:26:14

excellent if she will stay i would let her

tutu100 Mon 12-Nov-12 00:26:54

Zoo, everything is ok. I am sure that the acid and nausea you are feeling is due to the panic/anxiety. You have had to face your worse nightmare.

I really hope that your dd's are feeling better soon. I know that you will be on heightened alert for a while now, but I really want to say - if you are blaming yourself or thinking you failed (and i only say that because that is what I do to myself all the time), you haven't. You need to try to conquer your phobia, but in a calm controlled way and being drop into the deep end with no choice is the hardest thing ever.

I have read the whole thread but may have missed it, do you get any help with the emetophobia? If not once your dc's are better I really think it would be good for you to try and seek some help.

I really do hope you start to feel a bit calmer soon. I am off to bed now but will be thinking if you and will check in, in the morning to see what's happened.

liveinazoo Mon 12-Nov-12 00:40:36

thanks tutu ive been having cbt since january and therapist started EMDR-Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprogramming with him in june

imtrying to pull myself together

am acutely grateful mil has taken control of the girls.i just dared to stic head in and they smiling and chatting away to her.good to see them comfortable,not traumatized and feeling bad coz mums upset<even though that increases the ive been told many a time as a mum if you dont feel guilty you aint doing it right!>

ds has woken and is very happy he isnt the only one who is unwell!

AdoraJingleBells Mon 12-Nov-12 01:37:01


Get your MIL to give DDs small sips of either fruit juice or flat fizzy drink. Water induces the vomiting. I'm glad she's come over to help out. Same for DS when wants to drink.

Hope this clears up quickly, remember to take care of yourself too.

liveinazoo Mon 12-Nov-12 02:55:29

im still awake!sad<jibbering in a corner>

the girls have been sick on and off.little zoo <just turned 5>has been amazing using the bin/bucket and is surprisingly calm<which i suspect in grandma soothing her>i cant say the same for dd2 who has found the experience quite distressing and keeps calling me to tell me she feels poorly again and running to the loo<theres a bowl in her room for her> so she can poke her head round the landing and call for me to show my anxious face at the bottom of the stairssad

this is definately the most poorly they have ever collectively been,made worse by the face its all at once!

between nursing dcs grandma has asked questions about my emet<how i managed with dd1<<who 18 now and bin living her dad 4yrs.we split when she was a baby and there a lot animosity/domestic violence>>-i always had some one to take responsibility and calm me.for a while i had a nurserynurse friend live in,then a partner who was amazing leaving work at the drop of a hat for both caring for dd1 and helping me through the hideous panic attacks i regularly suffered at the time

she defends her son not coming.i understand he not my ex,who couldnt give a flying fuck what people thought of him if he left work.dp suffers anxiety and depression so he understands my distress<he works in MH too!>but his own issues include what others<particularly in the workplace> will think of him,and worries more about his job etc

i know right now he is suffering anxiety,worryng mainly for the dcs,but also how im coping.ive text him updates and he replying to most of them so he obviously isnt sleeping much

does anyone else wonder if they shouldnt have had their kids at times like these?part of me would love another now little zoo is at school i miss having little ones at home dreadfully,but on the other hand im not really able to care for my exsisting kids<when they are ill.i get by the rest of the time with my issues>

im wearing my guilt and shame like a superthick hairshirt at the moment.wouldnt it be great to just wake up one day and not have this?

i watch <from a distance>grandma rubbing backs and wiping faces,offering soothing words in total awe,wondering what shes thinking when she doing this.knowing shes not just thinking her own selfish thoughtssad

SantasHugandRollintheSnow Mon 12-Nov-12 06:35:42

Oh zoo I'm sorry. That sounds like my worst nightmare. Do you have gloves etc? It's funeral day today and I feel ok so now I'm panicking dh has something because he hasn't cuddled me this morning and he normally does while half asleep.

liveinazoo Mon 12-Nov-12 06:46:42

try not to read anything in to it santa

im hanging by a thread
mil has left and im praying they sleep for a long time and are ok when they wake up.i genuinely cant take anymoresad

SantasHugandRollintheSnow Mon 12-Nov-12 07:56:53

sad. You can do this. If it helps (it does with me) put on some gloves and bleach everything you can while they are sleeping. If you have to deal with them being sick, wear gloves and put a towel over your mouth and nose so you don't breathe in the spores. Forbid hands in mouths to stop the spread and confine to one room which is easily blitzed after to reduce the risk of spreading.

For areas you can't bleach, get the dettol aerosol spray and go mad with it. You can get through this easy for me to say from this distance I'd be like you for sure, I have panic attacks at the mention of my friends or family saying they feel sick

kerstina Mon 12-Nov-12 09:39:04

Liveinazoo you have done so well to have had to cope with this it is all our worst nightmares come true isn't it. So glad grandma has come to help perhaps you will bond over this? Some people like to feel needed and it is really good of her to help in this situation. Don't beat yourself up anymore of course you should have had your kids (and more if thats what you want) Think of the other 360 or so days in the year when you are the best mom they could have. I can tell just from reading your post what a caring mom you are. It is the parents who don't care that should not have them. You can't help the way you feel. You have done really well to face this situation. Thinking of you xxx

InNeedOfBrandy Mon 12-Nov-12 09:43:36

Zoo you did great, you are a great mum. Do mums who shriek and run out of the room because of spiders feel they are a bad mum because they can't splat it/get rid of it? No they don't and you are not either.

countrylover Mon 12-Nov-12 11:16:21

I have been following this thread as since Sunday morning I have been on high alert because of the bloomin' BBC news report on Breakfast TV about the norovirus being more prevalent this year. (Incidentally don't they say that every year?!)

I am a fellow emetophobe but I like to think that I have it reasonably under control. I do try my best to carry on with life as normal and I will eat out and I eat white meat and fish. However I am a mess if the children are ill. It's more of an annoying trait than a life encompassing one. But the fact remains that I hate being sick (only been sick twice in 20 years) and it scares the living daylights out of me.

It's interesting reading the thread and peoples reasons for being scared of it. Mine too stems from being out of control - I too also suffer from insomnia. I wonder if the two are related? My earliest memory of being sick is of waking up being sick and thinking that I was going to die.

At this time of year anything can set me off. DS2 was awake 4 times in the night on Friday night saying his ear hurt (not his tummy, his ear just to be clear) So what did I do? I stayed awake all night waiting for him to be sick!! It's so ridiculous I can almost laugh at myself.

Anyway I am giving you a pat on the back [Zoo] - you have done an amazing job and asking for help is the best thing you could have done in that situation. I know I would have been in tears and in a complete state if I had been on my own. To be honest though I don't mind it too much when the children are actually ill, it's the 48 hours after that I get myself in a state waiting for me to get it. Although that said, DH went away for a night over the summer (he very rarely goes away) and again, I was awake all night waiting for one of the children to be ill.

In a way I want to get it over and done with now please. DS1 said someone threw up in the corridor on Friday and then he was due to go to his friends house today but his Mum texted and said her son had come down with the bug. So in a way it's only a matter of time. My brave side says, come on - bring it on - I have gloves, I have bleach. I am ready for you evil norovirus! I am not so sure I will be so ballsy once it actually happens though but I think trying to be positive from the start might help.

PS sending a wave to [becky] and [belgianbun] - my old insomnia and emetophobia friends respectively!

devilinside Mon 12-Nov-12 12:11:06

Zoo, how are you doing now?

I find that that with this norovirus, the fear is usually far worse than the reality. DS had it in July, and I looked after him all day (DP was at work) I had a millitary style 'cleaning' operation in force, including latex gloves, bleach and plenty of boiling water.

Do you have any anti-sickness meds Zoo? I can tell you they are great for preventing vomiting (my absolute worse nightmare)

zonedout Mon 12-Nov-12 12:31:16

grin @ countrylover. I feel exactly the same as you. In some ways I just wish it would happen and we could then get on with our lives again. It's the waiting for itwhich is absolutely killing me. I am an insomniac at the best of times but have been up pretty much
all night every night since last Wednesday when I first heard noro was rife at our school. I am utterly exhausted and so sick of driving myself crazy with this fear and apprehension.

liveinazoo Mon 12-Nov-12 12:45:30

ive tried to avoid anti emets as they are kind of fuelling my fear?

that said if someone could promise me i wouldnt vomit i think id be much less anxious when teh kids are unwell.its the fear im going to get ill that fuels my inability to parent them properly
i have had around an hour disturbed sleep<forgot to ring damn school in my panic and thye demanded to know where dcs were,couple dd2 moaning for water.>

mil left at 5.30 and told me not to give them any water til 12 to give tummies a chance to settle.i ridgidy stuck to it despite dd2 moaning.there was no chance in hell i could risk them all kicking off again when im alone

they have been given plastic cups water<i can throw away after> and warned just to sip and i discovered the old computer has a disc drive so i set up a dvd then scurried back out and left them to their own devices

i am not in a good place at all.i think 2 on the go at the same time is sensory overload and i cant get my head round the distress it made me feelsad

i suffer with depression and today im very very low<as well as terrified for next few days for myself>

i will be in for a little bit,ty to pop in later and defo be back tonight<unless it all kicks of again tehn i shall return blubbering like an idiot again!

thanks again to everyones have been amazingly kind and MN through the night has prevented me reaching suicidal<such is my fear>.x

devilinside Mon 12-Nov-12 13:49:12

I think of vomiting as the ultimate sensory overload too - colour, sound, smell. I wonder how many of us emets are on the autistic spectrum

zonedout Mon 12-Nov-12 13:54:43

oh goodness devil, now there's an interesting question... I have a ds with severe dyspraxia and have been questioning my own neuro functioning recently...

devilinside Mon 12-Nov-12 14:14:22

Am questioning the same thing tbh, ds was dx with ASD in May.

zonedout Mon 12-Nov-12 14:24:36

How old is your ds, devil? Mine was diagnosed with severe dyspraxia almost a year ago but I also know that dyspraxia is a co-morbid disorder and I do wonder what else may be going on... He is a terrible worrier and much to my shame and sadness is very very worried about being sick sad Having said that, ds2 (who shows no signs of dyspraxia) isn't bothered by it at all <trying to take a leaf out of his book>

Hi can I join in?

I have had this phobia since childhood, and I am on red alert at the moment. My ds who is 2yo had this bug 2 weeks ago and passed it onto me and dh. I was very ill but I got through. I know that realistically I should calm down a bit now cos we should be clear for a while, but I'm still so anxious.

Dr has put me on Citalopram 10mg which he said is the best for phobias, would be interested to see what others take?

liveinazoo Mon 12-Nov-12 16:40:26

vicki welcome<passes hand sanitiser>

i should be taking citalopram but i stopped last time they were ill and i couldnt eat and i feel sick if i take it without foodsad

we are all here for you

the trauma of it is reliving in your mind

im not sleeping at night at the moment and if you need to talk i will be here

Marne Mon 12-Nov-12 17:15:16

<hugs to both of you>

Do either of you have any medication to stop you feeling sick? there are things that you can take and you can buy them from over the counter, i keep a stock in my cupboard, 2 years ago when dd2 was very poorly i'm sure the meds stoped me from being sick (just had the other end to deal with), i take them if there is a bug doing the rounds (just incase). It has made me much less anxious knowing that i have medication that should stop me being sick (i cant alway guarintie they will work but so far so good).

Fingers crossed you are through the worst of it, i keep telling myself 'it will get easier as they get older', in some ways it has, i can now tell if they are going to be sick (so cover the beds, the floor and put buckets everywhere to make cleaning up easier), i chuck everything that has come into contact with it in the bin (i would rather go out and buy new duvets and pillows rather than wash them). I still freak out though, as soon as i hear that someone has been sick i panic. I was in a shop today and a man was telling someone how his friend was sick 4 times last night, i stood as far away from him as i could (just incase it was a bug and he had it). Also dh felt poorly last night so i couldn't sleep (he slept very well though, i think he was just very tired).

My dd1(8) is now showing signs of having the phobia and freaks out if the dog starts coughing.

tutu100 Mon 12-Nov-12 17:52:29

Zoo, in the past I have had both motilium and buccastem fro my phobia of vomiting. I'm not sure if it would gaurentee you wouldn't be sick, but what I found was that it really stopped the awful nausea (that was caused by the anxiety of worrying about being sick) and that helped me break the panic cycle. I stopped feeling so sick therefore I stopped worrying about being sick so much.

It was a temporary thing, but it did really help whilst I waited for other help.

I have been to see a conulstant pysch dr today about my anxiety and derpession as it is so bad atm I am pretty much housebound and am having panic attacks at home over my current phobias. He has said I need to go back onto the citalopram, I feel quite upset as it took me months to come off it and I suffered the widrawral symptoms even thought I came off it gradually. Also the though of going back on it makes me feel like I've failed, but he said you have to look at these things as being an illness. If you have an ear infection you take anti-biotics and don't even think about it, he said I need to veiw the anti-depressants in the same way.

Is it worth speaking to someone about alternative medication? Maybe something like diazepam would be an option as you would only take that as and when you needed it.

liveinazoo Mon 12-Nov-12 17:52:33

my dd2 cant cope if the cat starts retching up a furball<strangely i dont see that as a threat to me>

i wonder if i have a type of autism sometimes
when i feel panicky i find noise,of any kind overloads me to jibber like an idiot!

dp picked up the couple bits needed washing and sat with them for a bit

he text an hour ago he going to bed coz feels ill.NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

<he added not sure at this stage it may be IBS<he gets that when stressed and starts at "top end" moving down so to speak>>

im praying its IBS<not that thats any fun for him.he is very unwell with that.difference being he burps a funny taste when has that so knows he isnt catching iyswim..he has to lay in bed for a couple days it that bad though>

i feel for him,scared he is ill and wont be able to help,scared he is suffering what the dcs have<selfish emoticon>,worries for him if its 40,he is 45 and im afraid one day his body wont respond to the stress with digestion but will give him a heart atak-i lost my mum to 1 at 52sad>

liveinazoo Mon 12-Nov-12 17:57:50

tutu im soo sorry to hear you are suffering
panic attacks are very hideous,debilitating things and i use to be housebound with my fears

if you ever need someone to talk to feel free to message me.x

im considering taking citalopram again,as much as i hate it.i have dizzy spells and cant sleep on it very does help control the panic though!

i shall have think things through carefully and consider it as a long term preservation of my MH

zonedout Mon 12-Nov-12 18:00:46

Oh zoo sad I have an overwhelming urge to give you a very un-mnet (and equally un-zonedout) hug sad

I have that with noise too. Actually too much noise in general hmm but even more so when I am in a panic.

Here to listen to you (and hold a gloved hand)

zonedout Mon 12-Nov-12 18:02:56

So sorry for you tutu. Are you tuttut? <confused>

By the way, zoo, the dog being sick doesn't really bother me.

liveinazoo Mon 12-Nov-12 18:05:43

thanks *zoned
isnt it wierd-not good with lots noise,not be affected by animals being unwell,insomnia

ive never really thought about other possible links between emets!

zonedout Mon 12-Nov-12 18:09:18

Hmm, this is odd... Interesting and odd...

liveinazoo Mon 12-Nov-12 18:12:30

lets leave a bold print note for the others

what other things as an emet do you struggle with?

zonedout Mon 12-Nov-12 18:20:26

Good idea smile

Hello countrylover remember me, a fellow insomniac? My issues are so similar to yours, I haven't been sick for 20 years (touch big wooden table) but still I am terrified of getting this bug that is going around DSs's school (it must be the norovirus as it sounds so awful - complete V&D for 12 hours). I feel a bit calmer today although worried the DSs might have picked it up today at school and will be ill on Wednesday. Terrified I will get it by Friday.

Zoo I feel for you. Hope you are ok. It's just awful to go through. But you just do because there is no choice. My worst time was when DS1 and I were both suffering at the same time. This happened 4 years ago and I only retched then. They say the norovirus comes around every two years so that figures. We also got a bad bug two years ago, again I only retched but had terrible D. DH had it at the same time as me and was sick. Both the older DSs were very sick.

SantasHugandRollintheSnow Mon 12-Nov-12 18:30:07

Hi all, to answer the meds question I'm on sertraline for PND and anxiety (health) but still have panic attacks. I was on citalopram first but I was too spaced out and couldn't look after the boys.

I have also wondered if I'm on the spectrum due to the following:

-cant bear too many noises at once, it makes me panic and I now avoid going out for that reason (can't do music, other people talking around me and trying to have my own conversation)
-love my routine and don't like diverting from it even down to the order I wash up in
-cannot make small talk at all and sometimes come across rude and ubrupt, sometimes social etiquette escapes me

Not sure if any of those can be linked but I'm a bit of a strange one. My friends and family still love me though grin.

liveinazoo Mon 12-Nov-12 18:44:07

i confess to being at a kids disco with dcs and having to leave early as i couldnt take any more of the noise.i had to go home and lay quietly in a darkened roomblush

i struggle in social situations and find it hard to make friends

liveinazoo Mon 12-Nov-12 18:47:14

forgot to add i need routines
im not good in the school holidays as i dont have the same routine and can become depressed very quickly<partly as at least on school days i have brief social contacts>

I'm a routine person too. I find understanding people's hidden meanings in comments really hard. I always have to say to DH 'what does that mean, just say it like it is'. I have a phobia about balloons and fireworks, so hate big gatherings, nightclubs and big parties. I've had on and off insomnia since I was a teenager. I'm fine at the moment but had it really had during my finals at Uni and after DS3 was born.

Perhaps there are traits we all have in common. The control thing really interests me though. When I was suffering insomnia after DS3 was born it was suggested to me that I was struggling with the idea of being 'too tired to cope' and that was about loss of control. I poo pooed the idea at the time. But the fear of being sick for me is partly that it really is a very unpleasant sensation but also it takes over you and you can't control it. I also fear having the other end errupt in public. When I have that problem I have zero seconds warning. So the fear of it happening in public is huge for me.

Oh what a mess!!!

SantasHugandRollintheSnow Mon 12-Nov-12 19:47:40

I am scared of flying and am a shit passenger in a car which are both control issues. I also hate balloons and fireworks because of the bangs and also, why can an eejit buy fireworks but not grenades ay? Both are explosives!

Marne Mon 12-Nov-12 19:51:22

Zoo- i have been told i am probably on the autistic spectrum (both my dd's have autism), my last therapist explained that is so much harder to remove these thoughts from the head of a person on the spectrum sad. I have had CBT as well as several other therapies, i'm not sure if any of them have helped. I keep thinking it will get easier as the children get older and more able to make it to the loo when ill but dd2 probably never will (due to her autism).

I'm not sure where my phobia came from, i cant remember not being scared of it sad.

When i was 8 or 9 my mum was caring for a elderly lady who had throat cancer, she was often sick due to getting food stuck in her throat, i was scared to visit her incase she was sick.

liveinazoo Mon 12-Nov-12 20:04:22

i also hate loud banging fireworks<ok with a little box in teh garden for the dcs>
baloons banging <<shudders>>-ds also hates that

i used to be dreadful with thunder but have managed to get a bit better with that since having he dcs,though i wouldnt dream of going out in a thunder storm and if its right over head /at night im quivering like a jelly

liveinazoo Mon 12-Nov-12 20:05:49

also afraid of being hit by lightning and large expnses water make me very uncomforable.wont go over a big bridge with water under neath!<nearly drwoned twice a s achild so that prob the cause ofthat one!

liveinazoo Mon 12-Nov-12 20:08:14

p.s does anyone mind if i take notes to show to my pychologist?hes fascinated by how we process our thoughts and the things we seem to see the same way

recent developments<esp sp many of us not being good with noise>would im certain be of interest

InNeedOfBrandy Mon 12-Nov-12 20:16:04

I'm ok going out in places I know, and I'm ok with music as long as I'm not next to the speaker. I don't have any other fears apart from being to close to clift tops in cornwall with other people driving. I can see flashes in my head of us all going over. I'm fine with fireworks and balloons. I don't like being crowded but I can cope with it. I have never had a proper panic attack. My best friend has panic attacks where she believes she's going to die I don't have anyhting like that.

I do like my routine, and YY to getting depressed in the holidays. I find I get agraphobic in the holidays and hate leaving the house. Once back into the swing of things work and school I'm fine. I do need the social contact in my life.

liveinazoo Mon 12-Nov-12 20:21:08

im finding teh links between us all really interesting
i get vertigo and a strange urge when im high up to freefall<cross bred with a lemming?confused>

liveinazoo Mon 12-Nov-12 20:23:57

oh and whilst i cant drive i hate being in cars<except dp as he will stop if i ask him to and have a couple times then walked home!<good job wasnt more than a couple of miles>

i dont do trains/buses/coaches-all those people touching things<<shudder.>>> and being cooped up with them unable to get off straight away if it all gets to much

liveinazoo Mon 12-Nov-12 20:34:59

how is everyone at yours zoned?

still ok i hope

fingers x the school run didnt add to your anxiety today.x

InNeedOfBrandy Mon 12-Nov-12 20:35:53

Certain drivers are ok, my mum is fine, my nan is fine but short journeys only and I always have to sit in the front.

I have done the coach a few times but I have to sit in a set place and do my gratitude lists in my head with my eyes closed. I have to have carrier bags with no holes (even though I have never thrown up on a coach) travel sickness bands and anti sickness migraine tablets (that I lie to the dr saying I have migraines to be able to get them didn't realise there was over the counter stuff) and I'm ok for Bristol to London. If I didn't love London so much and coach wasn't so cheap (sometimes only a pound on the mega bus) it wouldn't happen.

I'm ok on a train but have never been on a train longer then 10minutes which I can manage.

I have had that I could just jump feeling off clift tops before now to. I live at a bottom of a hill when dd was little I used to get flashes of me letting go of the buggy and her rolling down the hill and me not getting her.

liveinazoo Mon 12-Nov-12 20:48:28

me tooconfused-theres a busy road at the bottom toosad

i never amitted it to anyone as i ws afraid they would think i was goin got hurt my dcs

liveinazoo Mon 12-Nov-12 20:50:18

i never leave home without a plastic bag in my pocket and some tictacs<when i feel very anxious popping mints seems to settle my stomach and tictacs are easy as i can tip them in withoout having to handle them if im out and about>

zonedout Mon 12-Nov-12 20:53:10

just got everyone to bed... All ok, so far. Still really really worried because, if ds1's reports are anything to go by quite a lot of his classmates had it over the weekend but were back at school today this completely ignoring the 48hr rule and spreading it to everyone else sad

I do feel somewhat resigned, just don't quite see how we will escape it as its so rife and Winter hasn't even properly begun sad

I recognise so many of these 'quirky' character traits in myself. Zoo, the unable to get off thing is really familiar. I'm fine on buses (except for the germs!) and generally fine in cars but do struggle on the tube. I have had the odd panic attack on the tube in the past and stopped using it for a very long time. Have recently started using it again and whilst I don't enjoy it (and feel pretty tense the whole journey) I absolutely force myself to manage it.

Also hate heights, cliff tops and windy mountain roads with a passion. Jeez, when I write it all downi realise just how many 'ishoos' I have hmm

So interesting to start to make a link with the emetophobia though. Perhaps together we will find the key to overcoming it grin

zonedout Mon 12-Nov-12 20:55:04

I chew gum and have to have a bottle of water grin

Cannot get on the tube (or an aeroplane for that matter) without a bottle of water and some minty chewing gum. Have to have a bottle of rescue remedy for planes to (not that I get the chance to go on the, much these days!)

liveinazoo Mon 12-Nov-12 21:03:10

the more i discover about others the less "odd" i feel

teh psychologist said i had loads little rituals<he calls them magic thinking s i believe they help"protect"?>

until he pointed it out i hadnt really noticed as they are things ive always doneblush

InNeedOfBrandy Mon 12-Nov-12 21:19:58

God what a right bunch we are!

I have gum with me to, it stops all the spit in my mouth collecting which makes me think I'm gonna puke.

Zoo how are the dc today?

liveinazoo Mon 12-Nov-12 21:42:17

the had some water at 12 and a couple crackers each
dp sat with them for an hour after work
dd1 pop head in<didnt stay> and had a peep at them at 6-all akip
so far whats gone in has stayed in
i have been so traumatized by the sound of two being sick at once im too afraid to step foot upstairssad

i will call up to them when i hear movement ,but for the time being i just cant handle it

before this ive not been able to interact well with them during periods of illness for 4-5 days adn i had hooped as i managed ds i had made some progress but it has all been too much
i havent slept,i cant eat or drink today and i mentally feel like im spiralling down a big black holesad

amillionyears Mon 12-Nov-12 21:46:14

I keep feeling I could help one or more of you.
Dont know quite how.
I am not a professional.

InNeedOfBrandy Mon 12-Nov-12 21:55:28

Zoo it sounds like they are over the worst of it and tomorrow will be bouncing off the walls. I know it's easy for me to sit here and say it but it will be fine now and you did good.

zonedout Mon 12-Nov-12 22:05:46

What do you mean, a million?

BB if you're out there, hope you & the dd's are ok smile

amillionyears Mon 12-Nov-12 22:20:41

tbh, I am not quite sure myself.
I wonder whether fears in general can be disected and analyised and be partially overcome in that manner. By working out which particular bits are frightening and why. And trying to work on those.
Not sure if that is what happens when people have counselling, or whether counsellors approach these sorts of things in a different manner to that.

kerstina Mon 12-Nov-12 22:21:43

Please google the highly sensitive person I think this is what a lot of us have in common .You feel things more powerfully than others and can be easily overwhelmed. I do not think how you feel is static though I think we can feel more or less sensitive if the conditions are right.

MsElleTow Mon 12-Nov-12 22:30:09

I haven't been able to spend much time on here today because there's been a thread about Noro in the discussion of the day. Everytime I logged on there it was"Winter vomiting bug have you had it?" Or words to that effect. I only had to look at it and my stomach started doing somersaults!

I wasn't sick either when I was pregnant. I was when I had food poisoning from a Chinese takeaway when I was pg with DS1. I had to get DH home from work. DS1 suffers from Cyclical Vomiting Syndrome. He can be sick 40 times a day for a week. I can cope with that, just, because I know I won't catch it!

I have anti sickness drugs because I take opiates regularly, but if I feel sick I pop the anti emetics like smarties. I always have Polos with me because I find the settle my stomach.

Looking at things we have in common, I hate too much noise, I can't make small talk and don't have many friends. I like routines too.

Zoo, I hope your DC are on the mend now, and I am praying the rest of us don't get it!

devilinside Mon 12-Nov-12 22:52:29

Please somebody stop me clicking on that 'winter vomiting virus' thread that's coming up on the front page

zonedout Mon 12-Nov-12 23:08:47

don't do it. Trust me. I have completely tortured myself with it. Even found myself joining in at one point blush but I don't believe anyone is better educated on the subject of v bugs than the emetophobe her/himself.

liveinazoo Mon 12-Nov-12 23:09:18

im fighting it too...i know if i go in it will be my undoing!

Marking place on thread. Incredibly tense and worried about this; WVB thread on 'discussions of the day' causing feelings to spiral out of control. Have 3 children, 4 years, 2 years and 10 weeks, on my own and DH in Afganistan. Baby at DC's nursery had this at the end of last week. I'm sure that other children have had it but parents aren't admitting it < paranoid >
Barely holding it together ... only 6 days away from my PhD viva and can barely string two thoughts together.
Sorry to blunder in like this sad

corblimeymadam Tue 13-Nov-12 01:50:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

corblimeymadam Tue 13-Nov-12 02:17:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

corblimeymadam Tue 13-Nov-12 02:18:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

liveinazoo Tue 13-Nov-12 05:46:46

mprning everyone

*belganbun"as always you speak sense to teh rest of us<appoints leadership to you and passes crown and sceptregrin>

i was ripped from sleep<yes i got 2 hours.woohoo!>by dd2 saying dd3 being sick.leapt up legs began to shake,breathing in small gasps.went to bottom of stair and called up is she ok?

dd2 replies.yeah.sorry.she just wants a drink<phew>

decided to text dp see if he lurgylicious or has stress induced ibs-he has a fever,aching limbs and nausea<but not actually been sick,yet>

this has got to be the most stress ive ever been under as an emet<sighs and sobs>

so now im fretting a)for myself-another couple days before i stop panicking for myself over dcs bug
b)dp was here 2 hour before started to feel ill and lay with the dcs for an hour-fears he will add another bug to my house

sorry for the endless whining and moaning

hope everyone else is ok

frozen you havent blundered in.we are all here in this here<uncontaminated> boat together.everyones being amazingly supportive and kind

liveinazoo Tue 13-Nov-12 06:10:42

forgot to add,discussions of the day usually only on the board a day or two and FWIW its not even in the top 50 active discussions at this time!

"that thread" will go away patience and posting til it has passed are the key!

zonedout Tue 13-Nov-12 06:11:10

Morning all <exhausted>

I agree that BB should be crowned Queen of Calm Voice of Reason. Wish I could be half as sensible sad

An uneventful night, thank goodness. Thinking the next couple of days will be the critical ones since all mixing back at school post bug yesterday.

Welcome to all new posters on this thread. All emetophobes warmly welcomed here!

liveinazoo Tue 13-Nov-12 06:22:08

hang in there zoned you are doing ok honey

some people are naturally more sensible than others<i fell out of the sensible tree bang head on every branch and still failed to knock in much sense!ha ha>

zonedout Tue 13-Nov-12 06:26:32


Hope dp is ok, zoo.

liveinazoo Tue 13-Nov-12 06:30:16

wwe dont live together so im not exposed to his suffering!

liveinazoo Tue 13-Nov-12 06:32:14

as dcs are akip again<all still complaining very tired> i may have to attempt another catnap
will pop in a bit later to see how everyone survived the night/is getting along

zonedout Tue 13-Nov-12 06:36:01

Yes, this bit has got to be a much bonus to living apart, you are not being subjected to his germs!

Hope you manage some sleep... I am shower bound.

SantasHugandRollintheSnow Tue 13-Nov-12 09:27:07

This morning:

Dad of ds1 best friend - he's a little under the weather today, he was ill over the weekend.

Me - <worries> oh, what was wrong

Dad - he has a bad tummy, he said it hurt this morning but I think it's just because he had attention on the weekend when he said it hurt.

Me - <more worried and trying to be breezy> was he sick?

Dad - yes, last time was Sunday night though so its been over 24hrs and he's eaten well this morning.

Me - <wanting to run away> oh, poor lad (I didn't say lad btw I said his name).

He's going to infect ds1 isn't he? He's also coming to ours after school tomorrow as I'm looking after him on weds for 5 weeks as a favour for his parents (who are lovely sensible people but I'm still worried its not been a full 48 hrs)

Rang dh who basically said there's nothing we can do if we're going to get it, we're going to get it. Fuck, panic stations are fully manned and I can't see me sleeping for a while.

liveinazoo Tue 13-Nov-12 09:47:08

super big hugs santa im here for you honey!
im sure our school operates a 24hr after been sick not contagious and can return<not sure thats any comfort but thought would mention it>

you must try and take things a day at a time,a hour, a minute if necessary

you are careful with handwashing etc,thats the most important tool you have in prevention

by tomorrow he should be well clear even though i admit i would still be struggling

im assuming this boys family dont know of your "predicament"?

in our news,dcs still exhausted and complianing legs hurt so assume dp got their bug<he not a good hand washer,quick rub and rinse not round fingers or anything.tut.tut>so least unlikely they are going to drop again

has heightened my fear for myself though<sits rocking slightly in a corner>

Oh my God zoo I've just read the whole thread and it sounds like you have been through all of our ultimate worst nightmares, you poor poor thing. I couldnt stand that. I only have 1 ds and due to this phobia thats the way it will stay. I simply couldnt go through this with more than one!

When ds was being sick the other week I kept my distance and used loads of bleach but I still got it, probably because I kissed his head a few times. He looked so small and sad and my maternal instinct to protect him and look after him was so strong, but then so was the fear. Emetophobia is so cruel, because you so want to be there for your dc's but you just cant!

When I got it myself my body went into survival mode I suppose, I just kept focused and kept telling myself "in 6 hrs this will be over" (you feel bad for 24 hrs but the actual symptoms only lasted 6 hrs in most ppl) and somehow I got through it.

I hate that its the main article on this site! It shouldnt be, theres lots of people like us freaked out by it.

Hope you all have a peaceful, emet free day smile

InNeedOfBrandy Tue 13-Nov-12 10:04:51

I'm really surprised how many there are of us...

Hi Brandy * waves*

Yeah theres loads of ppl with this phobia, my therapist says its one of the top 5 phobias, but you don't 'know' a lot of ppl on the outside with it cos I suppose ppl are ashamed by it? Only my family and closest friends know, I dont tell ppl cos I feel ashamed and stupid.

zonedout Tue 13-Nov-12 10:28:17

grin at 'predicament', I like that way of putting it, zoo. Have you heard how dp is today?

Still dropping like flies at ds's school. The deep clean has clearly not done much. Hardly surprising given how many people seem to be ignoring the 48 hr rule sad

Not sure how much longer I can live like this for. When I stress I loose weight and am already quite small. Which just worries me even more with this bug, I have no reserves to keep me going.

Well done Vichy for getting through it so well. V inspirational!

zonedout Tue 13-Nov-12 10:29:08

Vichy? Sorry, Vicky blush

SantasHugandRollintheSnow Tue 13-Nov-12 10:38:42

Thank you zoo because I know its up to 36 hrs incubation I will be on edge until at least Friday. I'm good with my own hand washing but will be on top of ds1.

A big part of it for me is people not being sick or diarrheaing where they should (accidents and likewise). I also panic we are all going to get it at the same time and we only have one toilet. Sick can go in buckets I know but what if its both ends? I drive myself mad going over and over it in my head.

liveinazoo Tue 13-Nov-12 11:03:54

vicki its taken me very many years to start being a bit more honest about how i am,but i pick who i tell.sometimes i get it wrong and people-ive had a few never speak to me again.initally i was hurt but had to develop a thicker skin!

liveinazoo Tue 13-Nov-12 11:35:08

zoned i am a size 8 and i dont eat/loose weight when im very stressed.the weights falling off me
<im wandering a round in fleecy pj bottoms as i feel the cold dreadfully and have to keep hoiking them up today as they getting too big round the waist!blush>

im going to have to try and force in a ginger biscuit or something similiar today as i havent eaten since lunchtime sunday and am starting to wobble a bit!

its very hard "living on your nerves" being on such high alert is very draining/exhausting and you just get to that place where you wonder how much longer can i do this,but somehow we plod on.i guess we are all a lot stronger than we give ourselves credit for!

SantasHugandRollintheSnow Tue 13-Nov-12 11:47:47

I started the 4:3 diet today as I'm trying to lose my baby weight, luckily today is a fast day so I have an excuse not to eat grin.

liveinazoo Tue 13-Nov-12 12:11:19

not heard of that one!

im one those infuriatingpeople who drop a sprog and slide back into jeans in 6 weeks

i bf them all and i guess i have a lot nervous energyconfused

it works against me when im stressed though-when ds was born i had an ec sect<and refused morphine case made me sickblush>then he was a difficult poorly baby.i dropped to size 6<almost a 4>there are only 2 photos in exsistance of that time and i look like a skeleton in clothes!!

befoe i had dcs i was an ample size 14!

liveinazoo Tue 13-Nov-12 12:12:41

<read ample 14 as refusal to amit size 16 wouldve been more comfywink>

Thanks smile it all passed in a blur..

santas (and I apologise if this is gross) don't worry about mess too much.. I was (sorry tmi) ill at both ends at the same time and I just sat on the loo with a bowl. Its the only thing you can do. I didnt make any mess at all. I hope that helps a bit

liveinazoo Tue 13-Nov-12 12:21:39

you are amazing vicky i cant imagine ever being able to rationalize it like you have

like ive already said,rather slice throat than deal with thatsad

Badvoc Tue 13-Nov-12 12:28:39

Hi zoo hope,things are calming down for you.
My dc had a sick bug 3/4 weeks ago.
Dh and I both cleaned up sick, I had them in bed with me and held the sick bowls etc.
we didn't get ill, although I did get diahorrea and felt dreadful for days.
Do try and eat...carbs are good or eggs.

Hello! DS3 had his first taster session at nursery today and all I could think about while we were there is 'this school has a stomach bug outbreak and we're here playing'. Oh sigh. DS3 had a lovely time though.

Funny how many of us are scared of similar things. I don't know many other people scared of balloons and fireworks like me. My friends think I am nuts.

SilverSky Tue 13-Nov-12 15:33:27

I think I have this. But to a lesser degree. Have always hated sick. If the dog starts retching I'm gone! It's terrible. In the last four months my eldest has had two bugs. First time he woke up crying at 930pm and I went up expecting him to perhaps have had a nightmare but no.... Then he kept being ill. Had to call Him Indoors to come home from work. HI had to sleep in with him. I couldn't.

Then again this weekend. Luckily HI home. Similar situation. HI stayed up with him. I couldn't. I felt awful as he was upset and pale and clearly wanted me to comfort him but I couldn't. I managed to clear it up but it's the actual retching and vomiting that I hate. Can't even watch Casualty!

The evenings HI not here I dread. In case dc1 is ill. I'm fine in the day. In fact I was fine until dc1 was ill the first time at night/on my own etc. Now I think about it a lot. Doesn't stop me going places or mixing with people. Tho some kids I know who are prone I am wary of or those folks still turn up to playdates despite their kids having recently been ill cheese me right off as that's selfish, but that's prob more cos I have The Fear.

Did say to HI recently that I worry about it a lot and he said to not worry that dc1 would be fine and not to stress. Easy for him to say.

If anyone says their kid was ill recently in our company my mind races convincing myself we will get it or worrying that the kid will be ill in my company.

When I had my sections I kept saying to the drug person to not let me feel sick/be sick and they did look after me. I was more worried about that than the spinal and surgery! I made the consultant aware and the anaesthetist and the midwives and HI was instructed to make sure they knew in theatre just in case!

The fact that I had nausea badly with both pregnancies was hideous. But that was more manageable for me than if one of the family was/is ill.

I'll shut up now!

Badvoc Tue 13-Nov-12 15:41:18

I get that.
I coped sort of ok with bad nausea in both my pg.
But when others are ill I hate it, ESP my kids.
Being sick doesn't bother dh at all.
He is odd smile

InNeedOfBrandy Tue 13-Nov-12 16:20:51

Badvoc I could not have ill dc in my bed let alone hold a bowl. That is amazing, men don't seem to mind sick as much I don't think.

Badvocsanta Tue 13-Nov-12 16:22:44

Dh doesn't, that's for sure.
I am so terrified the dc will pick up on my phobia. I would hate that. I am proud I can be there for my kids, but it is hard, no doubt.

InNeedOfBrandy Tue 13-Nov-12 16:30:53

<waves back to vicky>

Yes be proud and you are always welcome round mine when mine are poorly wink

Badvocsanta Tue 13-Nov-12 16:32:29

I tend to make soothing noises and keep my eyes closed smile

InNeedOfBrandy Tue 13-Nov-12 16:35:48

Sticking your fingers in your ears and singing lallalalalalalalal might make it all easier to.

liveinazoo Tue 13-Nov-12 16:42:33

i 2nd inneeds invitation to vicky regarding pop by when teh kids are illgrin

silversky you are sooo lucky bloke comes home and handles things!<has he a brother<<just kidding>>>

i never met a bloke with emet-in fact i never recall see anything from one on the emets support site<wonders if it a purely female thing>....

InNeedOfBrandy Tue 13-Nov-12 16:45:35

My invite was to badvoc grin as she can hold a bowl! < in awe

But everyone is welcome as long as they/or their dc have been stomach bug free for at least 2 weeks! And it does seem to be, most blokes go out on the piss and puke up every weekend and are fine with that! shock

liveinazoo Tue 13-Nov-12 16:56:27

i had it in my notes i had a severe vomit phobia when had kids-i got private room after the birth for fear being around strangers

had emergency c sect with ds<told aneathiatist do what you like just dont make me sick!!!!he looked at me and kinda smiled>

elected c sect with dd3<after ds>i was prepared and refused morphine as i was adamant it wasnt going to make me more comfortable on the way from special care to my room and had felt very sick when they did it to me after ds.nurse looked at me like i was a raving lunatic"we can give you some if you ring for th nurses when you get there to administer some will help"<not for me thank you.>i didnt feel any worse than when moved with the damn stuff,a little bit sick<im told thats the shock being moved around after major surgery>but nothing i couldnt handle

when the midwife came to check on me nad read my notes she panicked i must be in agony!im good really,i said<munching tic tacs as i hated being in hospital>i was out of there after both of them in48hr-id have gone home sooner if it was allowed as i wouldnt eat the food.i took a bag with bananas,bread rolls,loads mints and ginger biscuits.dp bought in a belgian bun<sorry BB>and bottled water.

dd1 came and bought maltesers<gotta love a girls idea of comfortgrin>

i was vey hungry when i got home and had a stash of stuff in the freezer to devour and i ate so many mahoosive rounds sandwiches in the first couple of days back im surprised i didnt look like a loaf of bread!grin

liveinazoo Tue 13-Nov-12 17:01:26

sorry *inneed,meant badvoc*blush
have any of you ever been drunk?

i <aparently> drank a larger and lime as a toddler in a working mens club when my dad was meant to be watching me...

never knowingly had any alcohol though since!<just in case>

i had to have impacted wisdom teeth out under a general as i am also dental phobic and i swore when i came round and felt sick never again...

ive said they can give me a spinal/local in abundance but im never having another general!

when i had my sections the aneasthiatist was qute happy to chat as i nervously gabbled at him.apparently they prefer awake "clients" as we can say i dont feel right rather than try and work it out when our vital signs plunge!

liveinazoo Tue 13-Nov-12 17:04:18

disembodied voices from upstairs have asked for something to eat<had crackers this am>

ive left a box of breadsticks at the bottom of teh stairs and dd2 has come and collected them to share out.hoping that this is a good sign<still a bit fretful as ds ate morning after was ill and was ill again>

he hasnt been sick since sat afternoon,girls since 3am monday morning
fingers,legs and eyes crossed!

Badvocsanta Tue 13-Nov-12 17:11:37

I used to drink in my (mis spent) youth.
Was never sick though, which is amazing the amount in used to put away smile
I have also eaten very dodgy stuff when dogs from vans (I know, I know)
I no longer drink due to health issues but occasionally have one. Rare though.
I don't like eating out as I am very wary of cleanliness and food poisoning. Tend to stick to pasta places if we do eat out.
Zoo..maybe make them some toast? You should follow the brat diet after vomiting...bananas, rice, apples and toast.
My emetophobia seems to affect me more at different times...I can recall times it hasn't really bothered me much at all (pre dc) and other times it seems to rule my life (like now sad)

liveinazoo Tue 13-Nov-12 17:13:32

i forgot to add well done becky for fighting your desire to avoid,thus allowing your son to have a lovely time not sure i couldve at nurserysmile

and well done for you staying in an enviorament deemed as a threatsmile

so many of you are doing so well<flowers all round i think>

SilverSky Tue 13-Nov-12 17:14:46

Him indoors doesn't do poo, whereas that doesn't bother me! So we take turns depending on the illness.

Yes to drunk. Yes to hideous vomiting. Can recall three individual accounts over the years. Usually rein it in well before that stage.

Badvocsanta Tue 13-Nov-12 17:17:47

Silver...I an the same..I can do poo, snot, blood, anything, but sick....ugh.

liveinazoo Tue 13-Nov-12 17:17:55

badvoc im told <by professionals> its fuelled by any stress in lfe so when you are under stress it will be more prevelant<moving/change job/exams etc>

apparently having kids is very common for it to escalate as the fear of them being ill is added into the mix,as well as the fact they are sick more often than grown ups with bugs as they are at school in confined spaces with lots of kids that may not observe very good hygiene practises and have immune systems that are still developing

on the school principal,have any of you ever considered home schooling?

liveinazoo Tue 13-Nov-12 17:22:59

blood and snot are my specialitiesgrin
ds suffers nosebleeds regularly and both he and little zoo<dd3> are "walrus sneezers"<massive yellow trails hang down face after a sneeze like a walrus tusksgrin>

im not too bad with poo,depends on the stench!<but i can still deal with it>

i had a friend once who worked in a nursery who couldnt coe with snotconfused

she lived with me for a while when her mum got an new boyfriend she didnt get along with.she was great with vomitgrin!

Zoo thank you! I think we are all amazing really. I never thought I'd ever be brave enough to get pregnant (fear of morning sickness), have one child (fear of people being sick and I knew that children are good at being sick) let alone have three! It's very hard to cope with these fears but we do, somehow, even though it doesn't feel like it at the time. But we do cope. There are people out there in the world who don't have such fears and phobias. They don't need to be as brave as we do.

liveinazoo Tue 13-Nov-12 17:46:03


dp has finally texted me.he can barely move with teh exhaustion and aching in his body but he hasnt been sick.feelin gvery sorry for himself though!

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Tue 13-Nov-12 17:54:19

I used to struggle to even say the word 'sick'. I couldn't say if I had been sick I had to use 'ill' in it's place. Please tell me I am not alone a freak.

liveinazoo Tue 13-Nov-12 17:55:31

just noticed zoned has been very quiet....

how are things at zonedcentral?

InNeedOfBrandy Tue 13-Nov-12 18:05:50

zoo I can drink and still drink now. I know my limits as soon as I hit it I stop drinking and switch to lucazade. If I ever drink to much where I feel sick I eat. I feel really sick but making myself eat and drink lucazde stops me feeling sick and I get back to normal really quick. I have also perfected falling asleep with my eyes open to stop the room spinning.

My friends think I'm mad because I can't keep up with them on their yager bombs but 3 to 4 drinks is quite enough!

I am fine with blood, poo wee, snot bad smells (unless they make me gag then I'm gone) I unblocked the toilet yesterday morning that my lovely ds had blocked up with toilet roll and poo....doesn't bother me. I can't do spiders well I have to living alone so they get the argos catalog dropped on them or sucked into the henry and my mum can empty it.

When I was pregnant I had travel sickness bands, anti sickness tablets from the dr, ate ginger biscuits before I had even sat up in the morning and loads of things I did to prevent being sick. I was so lucky that I only felt sick till 12 weeks apart from the time I caught a bug with dd about 4 months along.

InNeedOfBrandy Tue 13-Nov-12 18:06:28

I can say sick but vomit makes me shudder even writing it.

<peeps head round door>

Can I join in? Suffered with emetophobia since very young, can't remember but basically had it as long as I can remember. I've had CBT, therapist reckoned it started as a result of PTSD from abusive household.

I'm terrified of being sick, I will do anything to stop it. Hate seeing other ppl being sick too and will run away if it happens near me. Only just started being able to watch people on tv being sick.

Haven't been sick since I was 11, now 26. Currently 34 weeks pg with first dc (a boy!) and got through morning sickness with bands, tablets etc.

I'm not worried about labour but I am worried ill be sick during. Wondering if I should mention to midwives at my next appointment?

Not sure how ill cope with child being ill when older, but hopefully DP will be around (already got prearrangement that he will do sick and I will do anything else; diaorreah etc)

<Deep breath out>

<Waves at everyone>

kerstina Tue 13-Nov-12 18:26:26

Zoo you have made me chuckle with your birth stories ! Childbirth is my other phobia I honestly thought it would kill me. Very happy with the elected CS I had. Also not good with heights and hate scary rides!
Drank lost of bacardi in my youth but always lined my stomach with milk and knew when to stop before it made me sick. Never been sick because of drink.

InNeedOfBrandy Tue 13-Nov-12 18:35:50

noodlesoup not everyone is sick during labour I wasn't. I got really hot and felt sick had cold flannels and the fan on me 2 minutes later I had to start pushing and forgot all about being sick then.

I also after dd had to have a spinal because of hemeroge (sp) and if you ask (well my hospital did) the aaneasthiatist injected anti sickness medication when he done my spinal.

liveinazoo Tue 13-Nov-12 18:37:04

welcomes noodle<may i call you that> into the thread

thats very organised having a pre baby arrangement regarding illness --wish id thought of that.hope its legally bindinggrin

your midwife wont be shocked by anything you mention it if it helps allay fears a bit<and congratulations on the pg!>

inneedim not great with blocked toilets-fear germs in there,but my lot are quite liberal with loo roll so it happens!

kerstina i have always said when my sense of humour fails its time to stick me in a box and bury me!its how i handle the stresses of life.if i didnt laugh id
be fulltime in a padded cell years ago!

liveinazoo Tue 13-Nov-12 18:39:41

btw i didnt feel sick in labour<and having watched every episode of one born not that many are>.only one person ive ever known was sick.

InNeedOfBrandy Tue 13-Nov-12 18:40:41

Yes only one person I know to. In one born every minuite they all are!

SilverSky Tue 13-Nov-12 18:50:08

The anti sickness meds are amazing. Work very quickly. I had them with my first section as I started to feel very queasy. I told HI to tell the nurse but he told me I didn't. When they put the sick bowl next to me I got very upset! The anti sickness stuff soon administered.

liveinazoo Tue 13-Nov-12 18:50:32


i only remember a couple<old and possibly losing marbles due to prolonged period of stress>

liveinazoo Tue 13-Nov-12 18:54:48

i remember getting the shakes after my sections-for some reason i panicked that it was some form of precursor to be sick!

bloke freaked and all but dragged a nurse over-she soon put me straight that was perfecctly normal reaction to the meds used and the shock my body was in from the op,she even pulled back a curtain so i could see the mum who had her section before me shaking away<she had no curtain round her and i remember congratulating her and waving as i went down for my turn and she was vey friendly!>

InNeedOfBrandy Tue 13-Nov-12 18:57:50

Well I haven't watched every single episode but the sick bowl features a lot!

Badvocsanta Tue 13-Nov-12 19:07:27

I actually did home ed ds1 for most of 2010! but it was due to a terrible bullying issue.(he is now at a new school and happy btw)
I moved house twice last year (don't ask!) and have been unwell for most of this year and dealing with Dhs new role at work which means lots of foreign travel for him.
So. Yes. I can see that stress is a trigger.
Wet sickness in oh and birth...I was never sick with 6 pg (only 2 live births sadly) and 2 deliveries.
Felt sick, yes. Very. But wasn't. I think g and a makes you quite sick which is why I refused to even try it!
I had 2 children with no pain relief due to fears of nausea and sickness.
Brave, my arse! smile

liveinazoo Tue 13-Nov-12 19:12:52

im with you on the g and a badvocgrin at brave my arse i just rather be in agony than be sick

im so sorry to hear you didnt make it through with all 6sad

is home schooling difficult?not really sure how it works

I wasn't sick in labour at all, in fact with DS3 they wouldn't let me eat so I was bloody starving by the time he popped out at 4.30pm. I hadn't had anything since breakfast. G&A didn't make me feel sick at all, just nice and in a happy place.

Marne Tue 13-Nov-12 19:41:27

I wasnt sick during pregnany or the birth (well was sick once when pg with dd1 but it was unexpected so did not get too anxious). I didnt even feel sick when in labour, had no drugs with dd1, had epidural with dd2 and was fine. I did try g&a but made me feel a bit dizy so didn't want any more. I did get medication for morning sickness as i was anxious about feeling sick.

liveinazoo Tue 13-Nov-12 20:11:18

some twunt is letting fireworks off at the end of my street<sodding bangers>

like my nerves need this t the momentangry

i wish fireworks were restricted be let off 3-5 november and at a push briefly for thanksgiving and new year eve

SilverSky Tue 13-Nov-12 20:33:28

Tell me about it. Baby was about to nod off, cue fireworks which made the dog go all shouty. So now have an overtired baby.

liveinazoo Tue 13-Nov-12 20:44:27

im glad my cats were in...
they are rescue centre boys and quite nervous.i kept them in from weekend before bonfirenight as soon as it got dark.i had bben letting them out again<one like to slink upstairs and i dont want them around the kids/get in the way up he knows i dont like cat hair beds!>

SantasHugandRollintheSnow Tue 13-Nov-12 21:14:28

I vommed during both my labours, first time I had to have the expensive drugs as the normal ones didn't work. That was the worst part tbh, horrible. Second time I stopped the g&a as that's what made me sick and I did the rest with no pain relief.

Thanks for lovely welcome smile

Fireworks on my street too! Can't believe they're still going on. I have two rescue cats too, two brothers who are my boys. I think they're going to be very jealous of the baby as I spoil them rotten at the moment.

Glad to hear most of you weren't sick. I guess keeping hydrated and sugar levels up helps as I always feel nauseous if I don't drink enough.

Good tip on having a fan too, I've got plenty of flannels. Think ill get an electric oil burner too. Lavender always helps me relax.

liveinazoo Tue 13-Nov-12 21:37:16

my "boys" are brothers too<i have pictures if you click on my namegrin>

i was crying at one point in labour with no2 as she was back to back and wa painful and taking for ever for her to turn so we could get down to business

the midwife wanted me to have something to eat to keep my strength up as i was getting very tired.i was terrified that would make me sick.she convinced me to have half a dextrose tablet.i had the other half a bit later.perked me up and when i went in for 3rd birth i took a packet

SantasHugandRollintheSnow Tue 13-Nov-12 22:12:08

Fireworks will be for Diwali to tonight but there is no excuse for the other nights between the 5th November and new year.

zonedout Tue 13-Nov-12 22:17:43

grin loving how this thread has turned to kitty chat. V timely for me as I have met and fallen in love with a beautiful black cat at my local adoption centre. In fact I started a thread about it yesterday. Am hoping to adopt him, if all goes well with ds2's allergy tests on thurs. zoo, your brothers are gorgeous. My potential boy looks v similar to your beautiful black one. What are their names?

Enjoyed reading all the birth stuff too. I didn't vomit during my births (horrendous nausea during pregnancy though) but refused drugs also purely for fear of being sick. Lived in fear of the births for 9 months also because I had heard people were often sick. All my sickness has come since having the ds's, thanks to their bugs.

So still masses of noro doing the rounds in our school. I really do feel resigned to it, it's only a matter of time. Children are bring sick all over the school, others are coming in before 48hrs post v. I don't think we stand a chance sad. My poor ds1 is terrified and it's all my fault sad sad

FrameyMcFrame Tue 13-Nov-12 22:31:26

noodlesoup, you will be fine during labour. Im a terrible emetephobe and I was more worried about the possibility of v.than the pain... But it was fine.
Have some rennies or antacid because acidic tummy in birth but really possible to saty on top of it.
I've been through noro and winter v virus every year with my kids and partner but I'm never actually sick. I always take Pepto Bismol and wash my hands millions of times. grin

FrameyMcFrame Tue 13-Nov-12 22:33:15

By the way, G and A didn't make me feel sick either.

liveinazoo Wed 14-Nov-12 06:07:21


zoned glad you ar still with us

hang in there lovelysmile

santa is it today you start helping out with ds best friend?
big hugs
sending positive vibes and some nerves of steel to help bolster you!
im here if you need to talk.x

liveinazoo Wed 14-Nov-12 06:16:46

oh i forgot-my black cat is called scout and his brother is atticus<to kill a mockingbird fan>scout has attatchment issues and follows me if i cannot get him in before i go out.he will keep going until hopelessly lost miaowing anxiously at me all the way until his terror gets the better of him then hides in abush waiting for my return at which as i call he will leapt into my arms miaowing again before trotting at my side headbutting me from time to time to be stroked!atticus is anxious but when he plucks up the courage for a cuddle has the loudest purr ive ever heard!
when we went to the adoption centre scout chose me nudging the cage and as i entered it leapt into my arms nuzzling my face.i turned to dp and said hes the one!his brother was hiding in to nest at the back and was frightened of us but they said we had to take none or both,and that he was a girl called princess!i picked him up and was adamant he was a no his notes say defo a girl.if you want them we can arrange nuetering in a couple of days.i sighed and said ok.they rang me a couple of days later to say neutering was done and princess was in deed a prince and would i still want them both!!3 days laterdd2 had her birthday party and then we went to collect them

SantasHugandRollintheSnow Wed 14-Nov-12 09:23:10

zoo how lovely scout chose you. They sound wonderful. It is indeed today that we have ds1 best friend. He looks miles better this morning and its now been over 48hrs so I'm not so worried about the house, more that he's passed it on to ds1 while they played together yesterday. I'm just hoping he hasn't and have a mental plan if he does get it.

Funny you should all say you have dealt with noro in your house but not been sick, I'm the same but I have had the other end. I think it's our determination to not be sick.

liveinazoo Wed 14-Nov-12 18:56:47

evening all!

hows everyone getting on?

the zoolet girls are starting to power back up<fingers x>
its been weird hearing their voices today after a few days of silence!
apparently limbs stopped hurting and they arent feeling xhausted anymore

ds is still tired

they have had crackerbread,breadsticks and a couple plain biscuits today

tea time i gave them each a lightly buttered roll.they arent very hungry and wanting very bland but its a start

i have forced myself to eat a bit today<nothing since sunday eve cept packet tictacsblushand a drink

hope youare all ok.x

SantasHugandRollintheSnow Wed 14-Nov-12 19:03:33

Had ds friend over today. If we aren't struck down by Sunday then he hasn't given us the lurgy I'm ignoring that its been 48 hrs and he was fine and if he was ill his parents wouldn't have sent him to school

liveinazoo Wed 14-Nov-12 19:08:44

santa can i ask why sunday?

just wonder as for me i have always gone with 4 days after illness ends before start to reclaim sanity/control

SantasHugandRollintheSnow Wed 14-Nov-12 19:18:17

Up to 36 hours incubation for norovirus so that's Sunday. It's usually 24 hours but I don't relax until the full 36 are done. It doesn't help ill feel sick until that time is up in anticipation hmm

liveinazoo Wed 14-Nov-12 19:25:23

im confused
36hours is one and a half days,asssuming we are talking from now is friday pm?

liveinazoo Wed 14-Nov-12 19:26:34

totally understand the anticipation thing

why does anxiety have to make us feel sick?hmm

will you be able to eat til then<coz i cant>

SantasHugandRollintheSnow Wed 14-Nov-12 20:04:32

Oh, I'm now confused <leaves to research>

SantasHugandRollintheSnow Wed 14-Nov-12 20:13:22

24-48 hrs says Wikipedia. I'm doing my own head in now.

Badvocsanta Wed 14-Nov-12 21:56:48

Well ds2 was sick on a weds at 5pm
Ds1 wasn't sick til Sunday at 11am

Badvocsanta Thu 15-Nov-12 09:17:32

Just seen my sis who is pent some of yesterday afternoon with...she was sick yesterday at 4pm.
So, that's today buggered up for me sad

reastie Thu 15-Nov-12 09:21:22

Hi all,

I recognise a few of you from previous posts re: emetophobia but I've only just found this thread. Apologies but I haven't had a chance to read the whole thing.

I am in a complete state at the minute. My emetophobia hasn't been this bad for years and I don't know how to cope. I am a teacher and DD is 20 MO. All this talk of norovirus a week or so ago on the news started to flair up my already quite bad emet but since then we've had cases of noro in the school I work and staff have been advised to use hand gels provided by the school WHICH DON'T EVEN PROTECT AGAINST NORO! So everyone is in a false sense of security. I emailed all staff (because I'm a bit mental hmm ) about how it wouldn't work but the school can't be bothered to reorder and pay for any more haven't taken any notice.

Every day at work this week I've been having palpatations, shaking hands and legs and felt on the verge of a panic attack. I come home and obsessively wash myself and my clothes incase I have got germs to make me sick. I've stopped taking DD out on my days off and we stay at home away from any bugs.

Last night I broke down and told DH how bad things are and he will do what he can to help but there's nothing he really can do. I don't know how I'm going to get through the winter. I don't know how I'm going to get through another day at work. I've booked a GP appointment tomorrow afternoon (after work) to see if they can refer me, but I've already had CBT on NHS and 2 other therapies privately and I'm still here suffering. I haven't felt this bad for years. I just don't think I can muster the strength to go to work and put myself in to a situation where there is norovirus about. My light headed and fainty today from nerves of tomorrow. I'm even contemplating not seeing the GP as I'm so scared there might be bugs in the GP waiting room and I might get something or someone might be sick whilst I'm waiting.

I can't take this any more - my life feels so restricted and I don't know why I ever thought being a teacher and working with lots of children was a good idea or why I thought I could manage being a Mum as I'm just not coping at all.

I'm sorry, this is a ramble, I'm just not coping at all and I'm glad to have found you all (but not glad you are the same as me). Do you think GP will sign me off work? I kind of feel that's the only way initially to get through the next few weeks without having a breakdown. FWIW anyone who meets me wouldn't know there was anything wrong with me as I just hide it and block it.

liveinazoo Thu 15-Nov-12 09:23:50

aw badvoc is she very poorly or just a minor blip?

im so sorry you are having a hard time

i drive dp mad with my "numbers game" as he calls it

he got the hump with me that im still struggling to "behave normally"


<sorry bout that im feeling verysad and emotional today>

liveinazoo Thu 15-Nov-12 09:28:40

reastie welcome

im so sorry things are in such state of crisis at the moment.the i shouldnt be a mum thing is currently in my head<im here supporting plus mine had a sickness bug over weekend and i was alone with them>

the guys here are great.we all understand how you are reacting

you have been very brave trying to soldier through it

sending big hugs and keep posting

ive found the support here holding me together round the edges<still all wobbly in the middle though!>

amillionyears Thu 15-Nov-12 09:38:09

reastie, would it help if you said a bit about when your phobia started?

Badvocsanta Thu 15-Nov-12 09:42:02

She was sick once, and she feels unwell in other ways too, bloated, sore throat etc.
Only been 3/4 weeks since dc had it fgs!
I hate this sad emetophobia seems to come in waves...are you particularly stressed ATM?
I know mine really kicks in due to stress and I am so stressed ATM its crazy!

reastie Thu 15-Nov-12 10:04:52

Thanks for such a lovely welcome. I'm not really sure when it started. I can remember when I was about 6 being at a friends house and she was sick in front of me and I had no anxiety or panic then, so I know I haven't had it my whole life. The only instances I've thought of through therapy is either when DM was pg with my sister (I was 9) and she has morning sickness and I'd run and hide and be scared hearing her retch or when I went on holiday my aunt would come and she was sick and I was trapped in a room along the hall from the bathroom with my sister and remember hearing her be sick and feeling completely trapped and it felt horrible. I wonder if alot of my emet is to do with control, fear of the unexpected and what I can't control or fear of making a scene if I am sick, or just the sensation of it as I've always been awful about being sick my whole life. I'm 30 and I'd say it's been full flown emetophobia for at least half of my life. It goes through stages of being a bit better and then worse depending on how I am mentally in my life, but it's always a bit worse in winter anyway with all the bugs around, and also I've only ever got to the point of coping on a daily basis using specific behaviours to protect myself, I've never coped if I'm having to deal with 'it' or it feels close by IYKWIM.

I don't eat out anywhere, ever. I don't stay in hotels, go on planes, don't do soft play with DD. I avoid places with lots of people, wash my hands too often, don't do public transport, don't let DD play with toys in GP waiting rooms etc, don't take DD to toddler groups. My life is a permanent countdown. I don't have many friends as I'm scared of DD mixing too much with other people incase they have bugs they pass onto her. I disinfect the shopping trolley at the supermarket before I let DD sit in it and get odd stares . I book father christmas for DD in the first week of december (so if she does get ill she will have time to recover before christmas) in the first time slot of the day in the hopes there won't be so many bugs around from children being there with their germs all day. I can't say how every little thing I do in life is skewed to trying not to be sick.

I had got it a bit better before I was pg, but then had awful pg nausea throughout pg right until the day I had DD. I was on antiemetics from 5 weeks pg and signed off work for my whole pg. It was a really dark time phobia wise as I spent months feeling 5 seconds away from being sick all day and all night. I think anyone would have struggled emet or non emet tbh! Then when DD was born I got in a complete state about her being sick and didn't take her out of the house for months and made everyone wash their hands when they got anywhere near her for her first year. Things were marginally better for a while this year but this norovirus worry has knocked me for six. DD was sick a few months ago as a reaction to her MMR and I couldn't help her or be near her. She was sick when I was carrying her and in shock I dropped her shock blush . I just can't cope and can't take it. Sorry for extra ramble, expecially as some of you have good reason to be so anxious having bugs in your family and having to deal with all that.

InNeedOfBrandy Thu 15-Nov-12 10:11:29

Aww reastie how horrible for you. brew

amillionyears Thu 15-Nov-12 10:19:07

Oh my word reastie sad shock

amillionyears Thu 15-Nov-12 10:21:35

Did the CBT and the 2 private therapies help at all?

Badvocsanta Thu 15-Nov-12 10:23:03

You arent rambling reastie and much of what you say resonates with me too.
I wasnt always like this, so when did it start and why?
I am dreading the run up to xmas as I will be so stressed about the dc catching a sick bug.
I was even thinking to myself yesterday...well, I can keep ds2 off pre school for the last pathetic is that? sad

Badvocsanta Thu 15-Nov-12 10:23:38

I have been thinking of CBT but cant really afford it, esp if it doesnt even work sad

Marne Thu 15-Nov-12 10:35:45

I have kept my dd's off of school in the past to avoid it (if they happen to have had a slightly runny nose then i have used it as an exscuse to keep them home if a bug is doing the rounds) and then i feel so stupid for doing it.

I'm getting anxious now as it gets closer to christmas (so scared they will be sick for christmas), in one way i wish 'if it was going to happen it would happen soon so i can then relax for christmas' but another part of me is petrified that it will happen sad.

Last year i gave the dd's probiotics and multi vits and we seemed to get away without out picking anything up but my anxiety was sky high as they had started a new school and i thought they would pick everything up.

Keeping my fingers crossed that we can avoid it this year.

Every time dd2 has had a bug we have ended up in hospital with her, partly because she refuses to drink for days and partly because i completely panic sad.

liveinazoo Thu 15-Nov-12 10:53:02

reatie dont be blush
we dont judge here...
ive admitted in thread some my parenting lowlights
right now ive not had a dc be sick since sunday but they are still not allowed near me.thye are picking up a bit energy wise and are eating bits of bland food but i put it at the bottom of the stairs and they come and get it when i have returned to front room.we speak them at top atairs,me at bottomsadi really do wonder if they would be better off with someone else but they are my life<is that selfish?>

santabig hugs lovely.its not a forgone conclusion youare going to be ill from see her.we are here for you

im struggling a little today.i dont eat/drink when they are ill and since sunday have had just a packet of tictacs and a caprisun<tuesday>.yesterday i made myself have a plain bagel and a biscuit<ginger of course> adn when started to drink had 750mls...

that came back to bite me as i was up in night with excruciating back pain and runny bum<sorry TMI and cant spell the d word!blush

i know its not a bug but the food i ate prior to the dcs be ill be flushed through so its totally my own 40now and my body cant take this level of punishment anymore
how do you all manage with eating and drinking?i need to work a new plan for next timesad

marne ive been known to blame a cold as a fever and keep mine off school
at the mo i have to collect mine from 3 seperate playgrounds in dif areas of the school,each full parents<some trailing kids that have been sick and are now "better but not allowed back yethmm>

i was really strugglin gso arranged through the school to collect ds and dd2 from the office 5 mins before school ends for the day<little zoo comes out 5 mins vefore that>so it minimizes how many people i have to be around and for the shortest epriod of time possible.only doen side is the room tehy put kids who have been sick is a door that opens into teh office area but its the best we can do to limit what was a 35minute picking them all up fro different places,which now takes under 10

liveinazoo Thu 15-Nov-12 10:57:35

badvoc are you not i the uk?
mine was done through referral from gp

liveinazoo Thu 15-Nov-12 10:58:25

gah,wasnt ready to post...

so i dont have to pay for it

reastie Thu 15-Nov-12 11:28:53

badvoc I already quarantine myself and DD for the week pre christmas so it doesn't sound crazy at all! I can't pin point an age or experience that started this though, it just sort of crept up on me. I can remember around aged 5 - 7 being Ok and I can remember age 13 for sure having emet tendencies, but I can't think it happened suddenly or one obvious thing that started it.

I'm at pains to pay for therapy if it may not work, I spent alot on a therapist a few years ago and, yes, it did help to an extent, but didn't get close to curing me. I had CBT last year on the NHS but tbh it didn't help me at all much. I'm not sure if that's as the therapy was so limited to number of sessions or because I felt like he just didn't 'get' me or because I was suffering undiagnosed PND at the time or maybe CBT just won't work for me hmm . I wouldn't mind spending money if I knew it would work but having tried CBT, hypnosis and human givens approach of therapy, none of which have greatly helped my overall phobia even if it has helped some day to day coping, so I feel a bit jaded and negative that I'll ever behave 'normally'

zoo you're doing well getting through it. Does it get easier as the DC get older and know they feel sick and can tell you? I keep hoping that will be easier as they might be able to sort themselves out when they're sick IYKWIM. I'd be exactly the same as you FWIW.

Re: eating, I think I have an unusual emet tendency as I tend to overeat - my logic is if I keep eating then I can't be ill as if I were ill I wouldn't be able to eat hmm . I also panic about feeling low blood sugar nausea so eat to stave off that. I put on <coughs> 5 stone when pg and bfing just through trying to help blood sugar nausea shock . This year have lost 3.5 stone of that, but I'm still some way to go. I was nearly sick a couple of months ago, think it was just hormones and stress (didn't know that at the time though) and I didn't eat for 2 days afterwards even though I felt OK, I was too scared incase it made me sick, which made me iller for longer as I felt so rough from not eating, so do know where you're coming from with that and it is really hard.

On the good things to eat in addition to probiotics, I hear good things of manuka honey so ahve been eating that every day and also apparently red grape juice has something in it which can help fight of tummy bugs, must stock up on that!

InNeedOfBrandy Thu 15-Nov-12 11:42:43

Iv'e just been offered a new job grin yippee mine was about to go (cafe going under) but it's a nursery. It's in the kitchen not around the children but all I can think of is the bugs going around. I need to take it otherwise in a couple of weeks I'll be signing on sad but I'm genuinely thinking signing on might be better then working with kids.

Badvocsanta Thu 15-Nov-12 12:29:55

Ineed...many congrats.
I can totally see where you are coming from...I have just applied for a job in a switchboard at a - wait for it!- hospital! smile
I must be insane smile
I think for all of us it's the thought of being ill isn't it? I know when I have actually been sick in the past few years I am only sick once (but that's because I restrict food intake if anyone else is ill) it's the runs that last and are rally debilitating ime.
I am getting increasingly angry at myself about this. I am 40 years old. Life is too short for this crap sad
Although I have to say I am sorry there are so many of us suffering, it really helps to know I am not alone x

kerstina Thu 15-Nov-12 12:33:02

You will be fine n the kitchen don't fret ! It is the nursery staff who will be dealing with any child that is sick not you. Just keep your hand washing up and maybe some wet wipes to use before eating. I get a bit paranoid at bugs on tap handles !

liveinazoo Thu 15-Nov-12 12:36:46

in need i dont have the answer to that quandryconfused

could you give it a go and if you find makes your emet work sign on to sick for a bit?

reastiei dont drink friuit juice but hope just ating the actually grapes<well wrapped and from the bottom at the back in the supermarketwinkwill do the same?might give the honey a go

im trying to tell myself i could try and eat a slice of toast and a banana a day but its very hard and when my emet is in full swing i get cripplingly bad ocdsad

as for them being sick ds seems unaware hes about to be<7yo> and throws up everywhere.dd2 is in denial <8> and does the same<although with this bug after the 1st bout she did go to the loo>my youngest is the star<just 5> she used the bin everytime<lined with a bag>in their room,but she retches if snot goes down her throat and runs for the loo so is more aware iyswim

ds has been sleeping with her since they all stop being sick,he idnt want sleep in his own room alone anad is confident that she wont be sick on him!

Badvocsanta Thu 15-Nov-12 12:37:34

Zoo...I am the in the uk.
But I am so ashamed of this I will not see my gp.
No one knows.
No one.
Except you guys.
Not even dh.
I am that good at pretending everything is fine.

Badvocsanta Thu 15-Nov-12 12:39:00

Zoo...I think food wise little and often is best.
You don't what to do hypoglycaemic.
What about a slice of toast and then for supper a banana or apple without the peel?

liveinazoo Thu 15-Nov-12 12:39:24

santa re your sister,school rang and her son<adult> has had an achy joint,sore throat exhaustion bug-he wasnt sick and i beleive it was what i had a few weeks ago when helped out at school.i felt very sick for about 12 hours then just exhaust in pain and tire so hope that gives you some comfort,also dp hasnt been sick with it.x

Badvocsanta Thu 15-Nov-12 12:40:01

Ds1 is aware but ds2 was just sick everywhere with no warning.
Yours kids sound amazing zoo!

reastie Thu 15-Nov-12 12:44:44

inneed I agree with kerstina - remember tummy bugs aren't passed through the air, they are only passed via touch, and I imagine you hopefully won't touch too many of the little 'uns, you'll just be cooking and washing up for them (??). You can wear gloves (and not look like you're a bit mental as to why you're wearing gloves given you're washing up) to protect your hands and just don't touch your face if possible. Plus, if you work in the kitchens you shouldn't be able to work unless you have been sick free for 48 hours after you may have been ill, so you shouldn't encounter any direct work colluegues in for work who are contagious. I used to work in the food industry and was thinking yesterday how at least when I worked there there wasn't the contagion worry in the same way as no one was allowed to work if they were sick until 2 days after they were better. One of the few perks of working there! It's funny how so many of us pick 'risky' jobs given our anxiety though, shows how strong we can be and how we're not letting it beat us.

Btw kerstina I'm the same with tap handles! Also with the bit you press to get soap out of dispensers which, let's face it, must never get cleaned! And don't get me started on door handles...

zoo interesting your DD has denial - i used to do that too. I thought if I didn't go to the loo when I felt sick it meant I wouldn't be sick as by accepting it could actually happen it would make it happen <sigh>

reastie Thu 15-Nov-12 12:47:03

xposted - Bad I didn't tell my DH until after we were married I felt ashamed. I don't even know why as we can't help it. I'm glad we've found each other here as it does make you feel a bit less crazy that other people think and behave the same.

Does anyone here use anti emetics when they feel sick out of interest?

Badvocsanta Thu 15-Nov-12 12:49:19

I did recently when dc had a sick bug as the nausea was horrendous?
Not sure if they helped or not tbh.
And could they prevent bug sickness anyway.....?

InNeedOfBrandy Thu 15-Nov-12 12:49:53

Badvoc it really is the thought of it. I found the last few times I was sick (at least 2 more 3) it wasn't that bad, it wasn't nice but wasn't as bad as I think it's going to be.

I get paranoid of tap handles to!

Zoo your children are very good with being sick. I get 2am wake up calls of barf in their beds.

I am going to take job and stay away from any children as much as possible.

InNeedOfBrandy Thu 15-Nov-12 12:50:57

(2 or 3 years ago)

Badvocsanta Thu 15-Nov-12 12:53:15

Yes, it's the fear if the unknown I think.
And the lack of control of course!
My poor sis had to rush home from the school run to be ill sad
I was hoping having kids would desensitise me to a point but it hasn't.
If anything it's worse!
Another thing that is strange is that most of not all emetophobes are very very rarely ill. Like decades between episodes of vomiting.
Maybe that's the crux of the matter.
If we were ill more often we would be less anxious about it?
Am babbling

Badvocsanta Thu 15-Nov-12 12:55:19

Reastie - I have those dettol non touch hand soap dispensers for that reason!
I thought noro was airborne??
(Desperately hopes she is wrong!)

liveinazoo Thu 15-Nov-12 13:01:46

kerstine/reastie i have those taps you can turn on with your elbows in bathroom and invested in seperate carex for me to the dcs.thy have the motion detecting one that you wave hand under and it dispenses <homebargains sells it and refills cheaper than the supermarket>

badvoc ine had this for as long as i can rememeber and for at least 30years have battled the ocd that accompanies it but only in the last 12 months have i been ready to tackle it and "come out"

i reached a point i know im wasting my life,and precious times with my kids coz im so phobic,but the thing that pushed me out of my denail re impact on others was watching dd2 leapt out of bed and onto a chest of drawers panic stricken 2 years ago that little zoo<then not even 3> was being sick in her bed,right next to hers>
dp went totally ballistic and i agreed i would seek out help
the wait was long and i saw amental health support worker at our local childrens centre<a mother of 5> while i waited for the very lucky my psychologist is amazingly patient and since the june "incident" when he rang me every day and i bared my soul how i felt i feel he has really bent over backwards to help me put in coping stratergies and try to move things along all the time<he is away for 3weeks and i am meant to be visiting a website that has facts about vomiting to keep my mind "in the zone"<little did he know id be living in it!confused

it has been very hard,and i cry often at our sessions and feel very tired afterwards but i know in my heart it is making a difference and i will keep chipping away in the hope that one day i will have enough insight and skills to be able to function.i dont expect to ever be "cured" i just want to be able to care for my kids and take them places witout all my rules and protective behaviours

kerstina Thu 15-Nov-12 13:05:00

Is anyone like me in that I don't really want to "let go" of my phobia altogether as I feel it has prevented me being ill in the past if you see what I mean?
If I was not so neurotic about hands being clean I think I would have had tummy bugs especially as I am a Nursery nurse (just do voluntary work at mo)
My phobia can cause a lot of anxiety but I would rather live with that than be sick iyswim?

liveinazoo Thu 15-Nov-12 13:05:36

badvoc my therapist says if i was actually sick id realise its horrible but not the end of the world

sadly im not in a place where i will even entertain such a notion at the moment!

like i sadi if i really thought i was going to be id slash my own throatsad

*in need*hats off to your bravery!

Badvocsanta Thu 15-Nov-12 13:09:09 are seeking help and that has to be a positive thing, for you and your dc x
I actually almost stuck my fingers down my throat a few weeks ago (sorry if tmi) the nausea was just so horrendous and I just wanted it to over and to get in with things.
I was like it for a week...eating tiny amounts, taking a sick bowl with me everywhere I went.
It was awful.
I hardly slept due to dreadful nausea.
Logically I know that actually being sick is not as bad as that, but it's hard....

reastie Thu 15-Nov-12 13:14:54

zoo that's really interesting. What sort of therapy do you have? Is it like counselling or more like CBT strategies? Is it limited or are they happy to see you until you can manage things better? My experience of NHS CBT was to be told I could have 6 session (up to 12 for very servere cases) and I was very lucky to get that. I resisted therapy probably becasue I didn't feel strong or able enough to do it, and, at the crux of it, I just didn't trust my therapist that it would cure me or make me better. He talked to me about going to visit hospital wards where they had stomach bugs as part of my therapy and I just found it too overwhelming and scary.

My logic is, re: having to be sick to make it better, that people have defecation phobia (yes, it's true, I didn't know until I read online). So, the logic that you would ahve to be sick to be cured is flawed as if that was the case there wouldn't be such a thing as defecation phobia as obviously you have to poo! Also, those of you that have been sick in recent years theoretically should then be fine now, and I imagine you wouldn't be here if you were. My past 2 therapists took the stance I had to be sick to get over it, and having since done research I've found out that's not always a great way to skew therapy for this type of phobia.

Re: anti emetics, I've taken then when I've worried I've got a tummy bug as I can't take the worry I might be sick. They don't help the nausea but would help stop you being sick, but, I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not if you have a tummy bug as I'm not sure if you need to be to get it out of your system IYKWIM. It's always worried me as I'm not sure I could get through it without taking anti emetics for security.

Re: this non touch dettol - I'm not so worried at home as we don't have many people visit us at our house and I clean the soap dispenser, but it's when you use public loos and have to touch the hand soap dispenser I hate it <shudder>

Did anyone watch Derren Brown last week? Food for thought re: placebo.

liveinazoo Thu 15-Nov-12 13:16:47

dcs are baying for something to eat-i should be pleased but im afraid as i start feeding them normally again it will all kick off again and dp is very angry with me and i shall have to handle it alonesad

todays plan is to give them some rice cakes<theyve already had breadsticks and rich t biscuits>in a mo then tonight try a roll with a smear of sunflower spread and a banana,couple biscuits if still hungry...
tomorrow im telling myself firmly--and trying to make myself listen and do--
its time to give them some other things to eat-i figured a bit marmite in a samdwich at lunch and some baked crisps with a banana and for dinner some boiled rice with carrots?

also sat is the day all be well i have to let them come down and deep clean the bedrooms<dreading that>

will pop back 4ish to see how everyone is<and hope zoned has appeared>

reastie Thu 15-Nov-12 13:17:40

kerstina xposted but yes to worried about letting go. I said this to an old therapist and she looked at me like I was mental hmm but I think that way too, like all my behaviours and mental worry to not be sick actually stops me being sick. A bit like I was petrified of giving birth (was scared of it making me sick!) and hato have an induction for various reasons. Anyway, 5 days in hospital of being induced and nothing, not a single bit of dilation. I had to have a csec. I'm convinced it was as mentally I was not ready to let go and give birth and so my body stopped it from happening <disclaimer: I realise my body would have to had let it happen eventually!>

liveinazoo Thu 15-Nov-12 13:27:04

i dont use publis looswink<dont drink when im out,even for the dayblush

i think my treatment wasnt meant to have gone on so long but like i sadi i hav a very understanding therapist
no therapist should ever threaten such things as visiting places where bugs are<that makes me so angry>
to begin with we started with pieces of apaer with sick and vomit on<which i wouldnt touch and struggled to look at>from there we did pictures people looking unwell,then photos of vomit,then video clips from net.i learnt its the fear in response to me that controls my emet so once got the hang of them i knew they were no threat to me and the anxiety stopped.we now use visualisation of paast incidents asking how i feel
to this we have added EMDR which is used by traumatized soldiersshockit incolves recalling an unpleasant event<ie kids be sick> and having to hold that thought whilst watching his fingers move in front of my takes a little practise but for me the anxiety spikes we then do it with my negative thoughts attatched and then try and think of a positive on and do again

it is very distressing sometimes and i can call a stop anytime i want and have a visualisation safe place we talk through while i calm down,sometime having to change the subject briefly if i get to traumatized.

pparently the eye technique acts as a distraction and allows the brain to acces the terror and then you need to retrain how you react to that experience Eye Movement Distraction and Reprogramming

hope that answers some of your questions

Badvocsanta Thu 15-Nov-12 13:36:13 need to feed them. Bananas, rice, apples, toast, beans on toast, scrambled eggs.
They won't be sick again now.
You are doing great x

SantasHugandRollintheSnow Thu 15-Nov-12 13:54:03

zoo you've done so well! Class looked quite reduced today sad. Ds1 has a cough at the moment, I've heard they can't get two viruses at once so I'm off to research that. I do think though if he's going to get it let it be well before Christmas.

SantasHugandRollintheSnow Thu 15-Nov-12 13:55:48

Bollocks, yes you can. Someone was trying to make me feel better!