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Anxiety support thread anyone :)

(191 Posts)
YommyMommy Wed 24-Oct-12 12:51:34

Was wondering of anyone was interested in a anxiety support thread :D

X x

Salbertina Wed 24-Oct-12 13:26:25

Lovely idea! Count me in...

YommyMommy Wed 24-Oct-12 13:30:59

Welcome Salbertina,

Just thought it would b a nice idea n we can support each other through bad times and good!

I having a pretty crappy time just now with anxiety, but I know it will get better just wish it would hurry up, lol! X x

Brodicea Wed 24-Oct-12 16:03:21

Oh aye, count me in: a bad day for my GAD today grin(

Brodicea Wed 24-Oct-12 16:04:29

I mean sad - oops! That cheered me up a bit wink

keekeeblue Wed 24-Oct-12 16:15:49

Great idea...can I join please brew

YommyMommy Wed 24-Oct-12 16:26:52

Welcome everyone...grin glad to see so many friendly faces x x

Henners1 Wed 24-Oct-12 19:39:08

Hi, suffered with anxiety for about 7 years but always been able to manage it before. Had a panic attack 3 weeks ago, the first one ever, and am now constantly anxious. Terrified to even leave the house, I don't even know where it's come from. Think a lot of it is that I now have a little boy and worry about the effect all of this is having on him.

Sorry to go on but im so frustrated with it. I've gone from going out everyday and a couple of times a night to being practically housebound and scared all of the time. I need to know this gets better. I've changed from citralopram to sertraline and have started private counselling.

Phew - needed too get all that off my chest x

YommyMommy Wed 24-Oct-12 21:31:05

Hi henners,

Sorry to hear you are having such a crap time sad but this will get better!

I have had anxiety for almost 7 years now. Since the birth of DS1, I have mainly managed it to now, but I did go through a period where I was scared to leave the house! It was really horrible. I worked through it though and apart from the bad bout I'm having at the moment I've most been okay!

The best way to get over the fear is to challenge it! It's really difficult at times, but you'll get there with baby steps!

Also remember to b kind to yourself.

Also always remember anxiety is harmless, it can do nothing to you other than make you feel like shite x x

FunBagFreddie Wed 24-Oct-12 22:25:16

Hi, is it ok if I chip in here too?

all I can suggest is to force yourself to go out henners. I ended up working from home so I didn't have to, and now I'm basically bipolar, anxious and agoraphobic. sad

Henners1 Wed 24-Oct-12 23:20:08

I'm still trying to go out but the problem is every time I do I have such a horrible experience I feel like it sets me back. The panic attacks that I have have such an effect on my body as well that it makes me collapse and my main fear I suppose is collapsing when I have my son, he's only 17 months. It's all so ridiculous!

Has anybody ever taken sertraline. Been on them 2 weeks now and just wondering when it's time to go back to the doctors and say they're not working? X

FunBagFreddie Wed 24-Oct-12 23:29:40

Yep, panic attacks are also physical. I can give you advice about what to do, but I don't actually follow my own advice iyswim.

CBT is very helpful for things like panic attacks. I was doing quite well until I had one at an evening class a few weeks ago, and it's really set me back. Trust me though, avoidance aggravates anxiety and panic attacks. It's the old getting back on the horse cliche which I haven't done.

Have you been taught any breathing exercises or mindfulness techniques?

What do you mean when you say the sertraline isn't working? Do you mean there's no change, or it's getting worse? Go back to your GP if you're not happy, but he'll probably tell you to wait a bit longer. It can take a while to get used to them. That said, I don't like SSRI's, but I'm bipolar.

Henners1 Wed 24-Oct-12 23:38:39

There's been no change with the sertraline, I actually do think it's getting worse. I sat on the stairs today for 10 minutes trying to pluck up the courage to walk to the shop 5 minutes away. Gave up in the end. I tell myself, what's the worse that could happen but this doesn't help. Never felt like before and as I said i've been dealing with anxiety attacks for a long time. I know I'm the only person that can sort this but I don't really know how as nothing seems to work, it's really scary!

FunBagFreddie Thu 25-Oct-12 00:00:13

You need to go back to the GP. Are you sleeping OK? That can make anxiety worse. It might be that you don't get on with that particular AD, although sertraline and other SSRI's do seem to be the default medication for all mental health issues.

In many ways you are the only person who can sort it, but you might need help to get there. Keep seeing your GP and ask to get a referal to a psychiatrist or other mental health professional. Psychiatrists deal with the medication side of things, so they are best placed to evaluate what sort of drug treatments would be helpful. Psychologists deal with the other stuff. ideally you need both. If therapy works, hopefully you won't need to take any drugs. smile

I found that sertraline made me very anxious indeed, and it triggered an unpleasant bipolar espisode. Increased anxiety is one of the less common side effects, so your GP needs to know how you're feeling. If you are having trouble sleeping ask for a short course of sleeping tablets, just a week or so. It's easier to cope with everything when you're rested.

Henners1 Thu 25-Oct-12 09:24:43

Morning, sleeping tablets aren't really an option, neither is sleep to be honest. My son doesn't sleep though the night, have to get up 2 or 3 times to settle him.

Woken up with a stinking cold this morning, maybe it will distract me from everything else. I'm going to go back to the doctors tomorrow I think.

Off shopping now with my sister so wish me luck, hopefully I won't have a complete meltdown. I keep thinking if I can just go out and have a good experience I can try and break the cycle.

Thanks for all of your advice, anxiety and panic is a very lonely illness!

YommyMommy Thu 25-Oct-12 10:44:03

Hope ur shopping trip goes well henners x x

Me please. am feeling it badly lately x

YommyMommy Thu 25-Oct-12 11:02:49

Welcome toms,

Sorry your having a crap time, we all seem to be feeling like that at the moment!

I wonder if the winter months b dark mornings make things feel worse?

Bloody winters!! X x

I think it does.

I know my dad claims to have that seasonal disorder. maybe we are a family of hypochondriacs grin

Ive had mild depression and mega anxiety for about 5 years.

Think the depression is a result of the anxiety.

I depend on my DH alot and im very.lucky as hes the best bloke ever imo.

I constantly feel dread though. and cant do much alone as i just feel stupid/ wrong and play every conversation i have over and over. picking out things ive said and making myself feel stupid for saying them.

Dh went to parents evening alone as i was scared to meet the new teachers.

i cant ever see myself being 'normal' sad

Hello can I join?

I have suffered anxiety in varying degrees since I was 19, am now 32! I have been offered ADs in the past but never taken them. I have done CBT on nhs but this only lasted 6 weeks and I feel that length of time is nothing more than a sticking plaster!

henners I can only repeat the advice given on here. I am like you often too anxious to leave the house but what has helped over the last few years is the fact that I HAVE to as there is no one else to pick up dcs from school. FWIW on the days when that's been a real struggle I always feel much better after, it's the anticipation that is the killer! When DD was little I often felt guilty I didn't take her to local groups but then I found rhyme time at our city library and forces myself to take her. The first few times were so hard but it got easier each week. Now I just feel guilty I never managed this with DS1 and 2!

toms like you my DH is an absolute star about doing these things although he always makes me go too but with the knowledge he is there supporting me. Think supportive partners like this make all the difference!

Anxiety relatively under control at the mo but have had to work for it recently x

Henners1 Thu 25-Oct-12 17:45:28

Hello everyone,shopping trip went surprisingly well, in fact the main issue I had was walking to and from the car which is ridiculous.

I dread the day my little boy starts school and I have to start going to parents evening and children's parties etc, I don't want my issues to affect him.

It's all just really strange as up until 3 weeks ago I very rarely had an anxiety attack in the day, i mainly got them when I was out at night and I'm sure drinking probably had a lot to do with it.

It is such a crap thing to live with and I look at people around me and think 'why are you normal and able to do normal things and I'm not' but then as my therapist says you'd be surprised by how many people are affected by this sort of thing!

Hope everyone feels better soon x

Glad today went well Henners.

I have 2 boys in school and a daughter in playgroup, DH does almost 100% of the school run as I just stand there feeling like a 3rd wheel waiting for the bell to ring.

He is really confident and popular and it upsets me as if I'm with him everyone smiles and says hello to him/us ... but if I'm alone no one does and I don't know whether to try and say hello myself because that could lead to be being 'blanked' and blow my confidence to pieces for days.

Its a bloody mine field!!

I'm OK at playgroup, but hate school.

Henners1 Fri 26-Oct-12 09:42:41

Morning, hope everyone is not feeling too bad today.

Toms try not to worry too much about what people think of you. I too have an issue and quite often question why my friends are friends with me, think its the pressure to try and be the life and the soul that causes a lot of my anxieties. its also why ive kept my issues hidden for so long, i was afraid i wouldnt get invited to places anymore if people thought i was a bit 'odd' but then as my sister pointed out if they are real friends they would stick around anyway.

There are probably lots of people at the school gates that feel the same way as you, i would just smile at them and if they don't bother responding then that's there problem!

Anyway my sister is forcing me to go to a playgroup this morning which I am of course freaking out about. I know I have to do it though otherwise I will never break the cycle x

xMumof3x Fri 26-Oct-12 11:44:46

Can I join too please?

I am anxious all the time, not in a 'I have to stay in my house' way, but I must be in complete control of my childrens safety, I want them near me, physically close to me (they are little). I contantly find myself with clenched fists, tensed muscles in my face and hands when I am trying to go to sleep, its ridiculous.

I have been knackered as havent been sleeping for years. I went to the doctor about it and she gave me a weeks sleeping pills that didnt work, so I went back and she told me to take 2 at a time instead of 1, and even that didnt work. I have been on anti-ds for quite a few years now, stopping through my pregnancies but feeling myself slipping mentally afterwards and going back on them.

What should I do? Its not just a sleeping problem, thats a symptom. I dont want to be like this but I dont know what to do. Feeling a bit teary about it now I have typed this out

Henners1 Fri 26-Oct-12 15:47:10

Hi, sorry to hear you are having a hard time. A lot of my new anxieties are due to my son. I panick everytime I have to carry him, which is quite a lot as he's only just learning to walk.

Have you tried counselling at all. I've tried it in the past and haven't thought much of it but loads of people have recommended cbt to me so ive just started this. You can get referred on the NHs but think there's a bit of a bit of a wait so I've opted to go private. We don't have loads of money but Im pretty desperate at the moment.

Maybe you could talk to your doctor about changing your medication as the one you are on might not be suiting you anymore x

xMumof3x Fri 26-Oct-12 16:13:30

Thanks H. I am seeing my GP on Monday about my sleeping, but its all related I am sure.

I have had counselling before but it was a loads of rubbish (it wasnt CBT), it just made me feel worse I think.

I think you are right, it could be the meds which need changing, maybe thats the problem. Something isnt right and its getting worse

I tried CBT but it was totally unrelated to my fears really so I didn't connect.

The majority of my anxieties lie with keeping my kids safe, i worry if they are at school and dont let them out of my site other than school.

I tried to let them stay at my mums but when we went to pick them up once the front door was wide open and her dog was running round the road shock

My toddler daughter was there - it could have been her.

So they aren't even allowed to stay at my mums anymore.

I feel exhausted as I never have a 'break' but if i did have a break I'd spend the whole time worrying about the kids sad so it would be pointless.

alwaysworriedtoo Fri 26-Oct-12 21:23:57

I'll join. Luckily I am feeling mostly o.k at the moment. Only had a few minor wobbles but seem to be dealing with them rather well!
lots of biscuit biscuit for everyone...

I know what you are saying about the school playground. I sometimes smile to people I have recognised or been smiled at by, but most of the time I just talk to people I know because I am so arkward about talking to new people. I plucked up the courage once and started talking to a new mum, and I got a bit freaked because she came on so strong as was always pushing for play dates and saying how much her dd liked my dd, which was nice to hear but I sort of froze towards her and instead of stopping to talk as much, started to just say hello. I did feel really guilty but I'm a bit behind at coming forward (if you know what I mean) Im shy grin
There does seem to be certain groups that I would never start talking too but I suppose I must look the same to other people only going to certain mums and dads. But if A familiar person is not there I won't just talk to anyone I will just stand there pretending to be confident and acting as if i'm not bothered there are groups of confident yummy mummys chatting around me. blush

alwaysworriedtoo Fri 26-Oct-12 21:28:11

Gosh I just realised I am so dense sometimes! sorry I don't mean to be condesending YommyMommy I meant yummy mummys who I wonder how they get done all they say they do(How do they manage?) Not in a mean way.
Just had another thought it's probably because they get on with stuff unlike me procrastinating and mnetting!
I'll shut up now

3monkeys Fri 26-Oct-12 21:33:01

Hi. Can I join you? I have been anxious for years but coped ok. It used to be about DS1. More recently it's about bad weather, driving in bad weather, using the phone. I'm already worrying about what I'll do when it snows or is icy, and worrying about worrying! In the last year I've developed a terror of flying and we're going to Florida next year so I need to get over that one. It's ridiculous. We're going to Blackpool tomorrow for 1 night and I'm anxious about that

YommyMommy Fri 26-Oct-12 22:15:25

Welcome overtone new grin great to see so many friendly faces!

Always don't worry about the yummy mummy thing... I'm actually not the stereo typical yummy mummy I just loved the name smile

I started AD's tonight, so far I'm feeling fine i.e no side effects...hope it lasts!

Need to sleep now as last few days have been totally draining sad

Good night all x x

3monkeys thats so weird im trying to gear mysrlf up for a night in blackpool but just cant book it.

Think ill end up just going for the day instead.

Im scared of flying too. i could NEVER book a flight. i dont think ill ever leave the uk again... scared of the sea too so no boats. lol

3monkeys Sat 27-Oct-12 00:25:08

We're staying over so I don't have to offer to drive one way for DH! The flying thing is daft. We've been to Aus twice but recently I've felt really nervous. I think I'm now scared of being scared. I'll let you know how Blackpool is. Hopefully I can encourage you to go smile

AgentZigzag Sat 27-Oct-12 03:02:17

Hello there smile

I've been anxious for as long as I can remember, I get the top end of 'job interview anxiety' just going round the bloody shop a few doors down.

It's never even slightly gone away regardless of what I've tried to do (not to put anyone else off trying like), so I just try to live around how I know I am.

It's one of the reasons I love MN so much, I can have some kind of contact without having to actually interact with anyone as such.

I have OCD which makes me over imagine the horrible things which could happen to the DDs. It's totally normal to be anxious over your DC, but it's when it starts to interfere with the life you want for them that it becomes a problem, like not wanting them out of your sight. But it sounds like you have genuine concerns leaving them at your mums Toms shock

MummyVicky18 Sat 27-Oct-12 04:09:41

Hiya can I join please

alwaysworriedtoo what you said at 26/10/12 21.23
Henners1 what you said on 26/10/11 9.42

Both comments struck a chord with me. I have been prescribed meds by doc but never taken them coz I thought 'I'm not depressed, I'm just being over sensitive I'll snap out of it' but looking at my behaviour especially towards social situations I do think its more anxiety than depression.

Don't know whether to stop breast feeding and start taking the meds. I think my mum has seen this in me for a while & she keeps saying I should take meds.

Henners1 Sat 27-Oct-12 12:23:26

Hi, when I first became Ill 7 years ago I didn't really want to take tablets but it got to the stage where I would do anything to try and fix the problem. It doesn't mean you will be on them for life, I came off them for 2 years. I always think, if you had a headache you'd take a pill to make it better so it's only the same thing.

If you wanted to keep breast feeding I think there's medication you can still take, I'm pretty sure sertraline is one of them.

I'm all worked up today because I have to go to a Halloween party tonight, i don't even know what I'm afraid of,it's going to be mainly family there - I really need to get a grip x

alwaysworriedtoo Sat 27-Oct-12 16:49:25

I went out today without my hand gel. I thought 'Oh Oh'
When we had finished our shopping we decided to eat out.
Ok how was I going to manage here.
Toilets, washed hands, opened the door using my sleeve. D.D=did she touch the wall near the hand dryer when she was drying her hands?
OK No hand gel to redo them. Its ok. Should I damp a napkin with my drink and rewipe her hands?
NO NO NEED. She is playing about with the free gift we got. other people have touched that. If dh had brought her on his own I wouldn't know.
I must have sat there so tense for about two minutes.
I looked around the restaurant =lots of people touching tables, menus, condiment bottles, chairs then eating. No one is using gel no one is freaking out.
I can do this.
I breathed deep, recited my 6x tables and relaxed.
I tell dh that I nearly freaked out but didn't totally (boasting)
'he says well done! You have done it this time you can do it again, we can throw out all your hand gel'
I think a look of panic must have crossed my face as I replied 'not quiet yet!' I explained how I had managed. he said, quiet rightly, that if he had said that(about the other people who are sitting straight down to eat, no hand washing or gel and then eating with their fingers) to me I would have discounted it.
He manages without copious handgel usage all the time and he is always fine.
So far so good.
I enjoy my meal and forget about 'GERMS'
At the end of the meal d.d is given a choccy apple in a wrapper. then after a moment I notice there is a rip in the wrapper.
When did that happen.
I sit for a moment debating do I ask if we can change it? Do I not let her have it? I point it out.'have you opened it already?'
her answer is no.
I say 'Ask your daddy if it is still ok'
hmm
She then opened it fully and began to eat it.
AAAgghh.
Breath.
If I wasn't here I would have never known about it.
Dh hasn't said anything against it.
Yes it is fine I tell myself. It probably only just happened because she was swirling it round in her hand. it was only a small rip in a very gathered up wrapper. What on earth do I expect to happen.
And repeat
If I wasn't here I would never have known about it. If I hadn't looked at the wrapper I wouldn't have seen it.

Now a few hours later. We are still fine. No stomach aches, no headaches nothing.

I managed to eat out without handgel and have not ''totally freaked about the apple!
smile

YommyMommy Sat 27-Oct-12 19:59:09

Well done always worried! grin x x

YommyMommy Sat 27-Oct-12 20:05:15

Henners hope it party goes well x x

BustyDeLaGhetto Sat 27-Oct-12 20:18:57

I suffered incredibly badly with Panic Attacks for fifteen years which gradually worsened after I became pregnant with DD and slowly bloomed into severe Post Natal Depression and Panic Disorder. I was literally crippled with anxiety and struggled to leave the house without feeling as though I was going mad with anxiety. I became practically agoraphobic and at my worst point was convinced I was having some sort of breakdown.
I want to reassure everyone on this thread that however insurmountable it seems, however much you want to curl up in a ball and escape from it, anxiety and panic attacks ARE treatable and it IS manageable. I have written an article online about this recently, and about how bad things got for me and about how I am managing – very, very slowly – to improve after so many years of suffering. I won’t link to it here as it feels a bit like shamelessly advertising but if you want to read it, I am happy to send a link, just DM me.
I know what it’s like, and it’s isolating and frightening but you can cope and you can get through it, you just need to find the right medication, or therapy or support which works for you so please don’t give up!

YommyMommy Sat 27-Oct-12 20:40:09

Hi busty, thank you for that post! I for one would love to read ur blog. It's great to hear success stories! X x

BustyDeLaGhetto Sat 27-Oct-12 20:50:41

I have just sent you a message Yommy, but the link didn't work so you will need to copy and paste I'm afraid.

* computerdunce *

sweetkitty Sat 27-Oct-12 21:02:39

Hi can I join? So much of this thread rings true for me. The constant worry of something happening to the DC is my big fear, I think they are going to get leukaemia. Or something as I watched a friends DD die of it this year and keep thinking that could have easily been one of mine. I do stress if they are out of my sight, DS is 2 and the longest I've been away from him must be about 6 hours (apart from when DD3 was in hospital). I am terrified DH is going to crash his car and due every night he is driving back from work. Im scared of driving too as I can actually see myself crashing, you know imagine it.

YommyMommy Sat 27-Oct-12 21:28:12

Welcome sweet kitty grin

Feel free to vent and input! X x

MummyVicky18 Sat 27-Oct-12 22:00:55

Could you guys please help me work out a decision? I know only I can make the final call but I need some help.

I have been invited out to two different events on the same night & I don't know what to do.

One is with my mum so I feel more comforted by that and the night out will only be from 7 til 11

The other event is with some old work colleagues. Event from 6 til 2am. Now with this one I feel touched that they asked me to join them but I'm worried about how the night will go having not been around them in ages. Also I don't feel close to many people so don't want to keep turning people down - maybe this could be a chance to reconnect?

The times of the events are bothering me too as my baby is only 4 months and I don't know how I'll cope with coming home at 2am to have to deal with a baby.

It might not sound like much but I've been trying to make this decision for days and when I think about it I feel a bit sick sad

YommyMommy Sun 28-Oct-12 09:29:42

Morning mummy vicky, if I was you i'd go to the night out ur most comfortable going to! smile x x

Henners1 Sun 28-Oct-12 14:03:50

Hi mummy Vicky, I have had dilemmas like this in the past. I'm always afraid of losing friends so whenever a night out was planned I would go, even when I was at my most anxious. I usually got though the night ok and it gave me a bit of a boost to know that I'd achieved it, and even managed to have a good time.

That said this doesn't work for everyone and if the thought of going out with your work colleagues will make you Ill then I'd go for the other option, I'm sure they'll understand especially as you have such a young baby x

Henners1 Sun 28-Oct-12 18:23:29

Had a bad day today, but then again every day is bad at the moment. Last night was ok but felt pretty anxious throughout it, keep thinking imagine if I had to go out for the night somewhere other than a family party.

Getting really frustrated with this now. I'd be happy if i could just relax in my own home or at least take my little boy for a walk without feeling like the world is spinning. Can't see this ever ending but I have to believe it will I suppose.

X

YommyMommy Sun 28-Oct-12 18:43:51

Sorry today has been a bad one henners sad I've had a tight chest most of the day, but managed to get out and about.

I'm looking forward to bed time grin

Are you on any meds or getting counselling? X x

Salbertina Sun 28-Oct-12 18:57:03

Gosh, bad day here too. Whats been stressing me?

Having to move in next month or 2
Struggling to find somewhere a. Decent b. affordable
Dc1s defiant behavior much of the time
Dh's lack of help w chores
Work meeting tomorrow
Feeling left out by friends
Jobhunt in UK pending
Money

Bit too much change all at once

Fucking wind, makes me edgy...
End if rant

MummyVicky18 Sun 28-Oct-12 19:05:40

Thanks guys, I'm thinking of taking a deep breath and going with the friends/ old work colleagues DH & DF have given me get out plans.

If baby J isn't settled by 10.30 then DH will come and pick me up - this will stop me worrying about baby J & DH. Or if all is well at home & I just want to leave early DF has said he will pick me up.

I've got a prescription for meds but have not taken any yet. I'm thinking it might be time though

MummyVicky18 Sun 28-Oct-12 19:09:46

Has anyone been on sertraline? What effects did it have on you?

mummyvicky I would second going to where you feel
most comfortable.

I have social anxiety so any kind of night out makes me anxious! Even having my mun up yesterday left me feeling nervous in the morning and I couldn't eat properly til she'd gone!

My current anxieties are mostly around getting sick. I am pregnant with dc 4 and have already been hospitalised once after being very sick. Am still on anti sickness meds and gen feel ok but the worry is always there, I am constantly checking myself to see if I feel sick!

Hope everyone else is feeling ok. henners hope you are feeling better

Henners1 Sun 28-Oct-12 20:26:15

Yommymummy-I started sertraline nearly 3 weeks ago. I was on citralopram before that and it worked for about 6 years so not sure why it stopped doing the job. Not sure how long I give the sertraline before deciding it's not working. The doctor also gave me diazepam, I took 4 the other day though and it didn't make any difference.

Ive been to 2 private counselling sessions so far. I've also been invited to an anxiety support group tomorrow on the NHs.

I think a lot of my issues are to to do with having my son, it seems to have triggered something. We went through a lot to get him. I don't overly worry about him though on a day to day basis. I think if I knew why this had all flared up it would make it a bit easier to deal with.

It's also frustrating because we were trying for another baby but if this is what it does to me it might not be such a great idea.

sweetkitty Mon 29-Oct-12 06:27:55

Sorry to hear so many are struggling.

I'm about to go back to the GP, don't know why she's pretty useless TBH I was on citalopram for a while but it did nothing, the GP said I had to sort out the underlying cause sad

I did manage to drive DD1 & 3 yo their dance show yesterday, was a bit stressed in the car going home but got there.

The builders are back today, I keep thinking this extension is going to bankrupt us and well be starving and homeless at the end (crazy)

alwaysworriedtoo Mon 29-Oct-12 10:11:35

I thought I was doing so well,coming up with diferent stratgies to bannish the 'baddy' But last night. sad
I woke up to go to the toilet, had that low level dread. and straight away my mind clicked to something that happened five years ago. that everyso often I will go into a sweat about.Most of the time I actually (sensibly) forget about this...
A tree came down in our garden and when we were getting rid of the rubble and stuff that it unearthed there was some pieces of wavy roof that I thought looked like the old fashioned asbestos roof. but I wasn't sure. Anyway we cleared the erea and whilst clearing it we had a dry spell and dd (2 at the time) helped sweep it afterwards I wondered if there had been asbestos in the ground could tiny minute particles have gone into the soil? Could they have dreid out? could dd or any of us breathed it in? Mainly dd as she was closer to the ground. I did go to the doctors about it and he said it was unlikely to have happened. The only test they could do was an invasive lung bi-opsy. he also offered counseling (now I know why!) (I only remembered this again last night as well.) Later we got chickens on the land and I worried about them and the eggs hmm
I had restlessness, hot, trembly = That Panick Feeling.
I lay awake for an hour. I tried my x tables. Diversion techniques. I ended up doing word problems, how many words can I find in January february etc I got up to June July then was so tired I went to sleep.
This morning I feel a lot better again. At the time every one I spoke to was affermative in the unlikelyness of 'poison dust' And I 'thought' I wouldn't get as panicky about this again. But obviously I havn't totally bannished it.
I sometimes wonder if we moved house I would be a ble to totally get rid of it. As I realise that I very rearely go down to the bottom of the garden. Also dh grows veg down there. Grrr the reality is you never know what is in any soil.
I wish I was rich enough to buy some field somewhere and have a self build!

YommyMommy Mon 29-Oct-12 10:22:24

Morning always worried,

Isn't it funny the things anxiety can make us think about. I was having a freak out moment this morning thinking about something that happened to me as a kid sad stupid bloody brains of ours!!

Well done on distracting itself and getting back over to sleep!

Is there still an option for you to go to counselling now? I started last week, but it was just the initial session and my first proper one is on the 9th November. I'm going private as god knows when I'll get so see someone on NHS angry

X x

I've been on sertraline for a while, they upped my dose from 50mg to 100, but it made me ill, so I just take 50.

Some workman just knocked on the door and I didn't answer it blush

I hate not knowing what someone wants from me, lol.

I've not been sleeping well either so maybe thats why I'm feeling so crap?

GPs do tend to be shit with MH issues ... but the waiting list to see a specialist are ridiculously long sad

alwaysworriedtoo Mon 29-Oct-12 16:12:47

I think I might have to admit defeat and seek counceling...sad

MummyVicky18 Mon 29-Oct-12 19:13:48

I think I'm with you there alwaysworriedtoo sad how do you go about getting private counselling?

I ended up changing my mind about the night out & I'm now going on the one that is only a few hours & with my mum. I just got too panicked about the other one and its not until December!!!

Salbertina Mon 29-Oct-12 19:21:26

Its honestly not admitting defeat if you get someone good. Best way is by recommendation- i went originally to BACP website and not a happy experience- more big sister chat, rather unprofessional and bloody expensive angry . Current one was recommended by a friend and is SO much better.

MummyVicky18 Mon 29-Oct-12 21:11:14

Had a bit of a melt down after last post & decided to call Samaritans. Had a good chat & calmed down a bit. Just feel like my support is being cut away piece by piece.

Flumpyflumps Mon 29-Oct-12 21:25:52

Hi, I'd like to join this too. Came off AD and since had ishoos with tightness in my gut, I'm not depressed or sad just uptight. A lot.
Have read with interest thread about alternatives to med and am trying to learn meditation.
Will report back if it might help others.
I have a feeling it's going to take a while to de uptight me iykwim!

Henners1 Tue 30-Oct-12 07:24:53

Morning everyone, it makes me really Sad to read that so many people are struggling. I don't think there is enough support on the NHs for people suffering with anxiety, had my fist support group yesterday and told them this, they said they are trying to make changes. The group went well, I was quite proud for making it in the first place although nearly had a minor breakdown before going in. The best thing for me was that I met a really nice girl there who was experiencing similar things to me and it was so good to just talk to someone that really understands.

Course I've woken up this morning feeling anxious as usual and wondering how I'm going to leave the house today.

Hope everyone has a good day x

jubblywubbly Tue 30-Oct-12 09:00:11

Hey All

I'm new to this forum but need to talk to people in a similar position I think. I have suffered from Anxiety and Depression since I was 19, now 35 and 28 wks pregnant. I had to come off Efexor last year so I could get pregnant and whilst it took me a long time, I got there. Sadly after 3 months, I had a relapse and we worked out that SSRIs do not do me any good at all (they make me worse). I was put on an old tricyclic, amitryptiline which was a God Send. When we found out I was pregnant, we all (GP, psychiatrist, psychotherapist) all agreed to try and wean me off the 100 mg so I could breast feed when baby is born.....this is where the problem has arisen.

I've been really good about taking my time as withdrawal symptoms can be tough, about a month ago on a low dose, I had my first panic attack but I kept pushing through and got to 25mg until a couple of weeks ago when I had a really bad night of panic attacks and general anxiety. We all agreed that I stay on the ADs and go back up and stabilise me....I reconciled that I wouldn't be able to breastfeed but what I'm struggling with is getting stable....I feel like I am getting worse and am continuously anxious...they have said to go back up to 75mg and I've been on this for 10 days but I feel like I'm getting worse - this is hell....I just want to feel calm - will I ever get back to feeling ok? is it just that it is simply taking time to get me stabilised, hold on and it will turn? or speak to the docs and mention that it is taking longer than we thought, do I need something to calm me whilst we wait for the ADs to kick in or is it that I'm weirdly on the wrong medecine and it's stopped working - can that happen?

All very strange and confusing, I'm off to see the psychiatrist today and hope I can get some help.....just reading your messages has made me realise that I'm not on my own - thank you. I have felt so guilty about not being able to be AD free and that I'm a failure...it is nice to know that others are fighting this dreadful disease too....

Thanks for listening

Henners1 Tue 30-Oct-12 12:28:46

Hi jubblywubbly, i was on citralopram on and off for 7 years and a month ago was swapped to sertraline as it appeared to have stopped working. I know it's probably not much comfort at the moment but being pregnant can do weird things to your mind. When I was about 3months pregnant I had the most horrific depression. Although I suffer with anxiety I'd never actually had depression. I just woke up one morning and it was there, they wouldn't give me any medication for it but exactly a month later I woke up and it was like a huge cloud had lifted. You might just have accept that the pregnancy is playing a part in this little slump but then it will all fall into place eventually x

Henners1 Tue 30-Oct-12 15:18:32

Hi, Just wondering if anyone has any advice. I feel really light headed what seems like all of the time and a bit unbalanced when I walk if that makes sense. I also get a constant whooshing feeling in my chest (thats the only way I can think to describe it). Do you think It could be my medication. I was changed from citralopram to 100mg of sertraline 3 weeks ago.

I've got, yet another, doctors appointment at 5 today and I know she's just going to say its my anxiety and to give it time. I've dealt with anxiety for 7 years though and never had this before and don't get health anxiety.

X

Hi jubbly snap am also 28 weeks pregnant! Am pretty sure that simply being pregnant can really affect your mental health it's such a vulnerable time anyway. I have really struggled with the anxiety earlier on but am in a much better place now. Helps to think there are only 12 weeks left! Is it your first?

henners have never had that feeling but also never taken ads either! I really hope your feeling better. As you have recently changed meds I would think the 2 things are realated!

Have been a bit more anxious these last few days just when I wake up but it is half term so I have no time to myself right now!

jubblywubbly Tue 30-Oct-12 16:05:59

Thanks Henners for your message - hope the 5pm appt goes well, hopefully she will surprise you?

Hello Apple - yep first baby and as I'm a control freak, I like to know how to do everything - there's no manual for a baby so it has resulted in my anxiety growing! My mum and sister (to whom I'm very close to) are both going away at Xmas for 3 weeks and return 2.5 weeks before the birth so of course I'm worried that I will go into labour whilst they're away and this has stressed me further - I think this is what caused the relapse... I'm trying to apply all the CBT, relaxation and mindfulness techniques I've been taught - it is a hard one to implement though but I am trying control the thoughts and recognise them as thoughts and not facts...seeing the psychotherapist and psychiatrist helps and I'm lucky, I have a very supportive family and husband as well. I hope I begin to stabilise soon, get some proper sleep and can then be more of a support for others...

I think you're both right - acknowledging that pregnancy is playing around with my emotions is something contributing towards my feelings, once I acknowledge this, it will help.

thanks again

I hope you do too jubbly!

This one was a massive surprise and around 20 weeks after the morning sickness stopped I completly freaked out! Couldn't eat or sleep as so anxious and I realised it was all down to feeling out of control and trapped by preg and bloody terrified at how I would cope with 4! Like you I've been using mindfulness and CBT techniques to get me through.

If you feel like it come and join us on the jan ante natal thread. Lots of first timers! It would be nice if babies came with instructions but mn comes close x

Henners1 Tue 30-Oct-12 18:24:37

So the doctor had changed me to fluoxetine, she said if these don't work then they will have to seek additional help. Not sure what she means by this seen as I am already having counselling so this has worried me a tad.

Has anybody else ever taken fluoxetine?

jubblywubbly Wed 31-Oct-12 08:00:29

Hey Henners

Yep - been on fluoxetine (common name Prozac). It is another SSRI (you were on two others previously - Sertraline and Cetrolopam or something like that?)
It is the same type of AD and they're trying to see if this will help - if not, there are other choices, e.g. tricyclic ADs (which is what I'm on for example.)

I think the reason why your GP has said they will need to seek additional help is because SSRIs are the most common and latest ADs to prescribe. Tricylcic ADs are older and not usually prescribed by GPs just because the newer SSRIs are typically. For example, when we worked out that SSRIs don't suit me, I had to see a psychiatrist to find an alternative and he is the one who prescribed the Tricyclic AD and has been monitoring me since I've been pregnant. I am more suited to the tricyclic because it has a good sedative effect (ideal for me and my anxiety) and whilst SSRIs are just as good, they can sometimes be difficult to get on because the side effects mimic anxiety.

Easy for me to say, but try not to worry too much, give the fluoxetine a go and see how you feel. If it doesn't help then it sounds encouraging that the GP knows to seek help from others. Really hope you feel better soon, nothing worse than when you don't.

I had a better night's sleep with some help - still anxious and trying to get stable again - hope it does soon

x

jubblywubbly Wed 31-Oct-12 08:01:30

Hey Apples

Can I join the jan ante natal thread before the baby has arrived?

DH is pissed off at me.

We have shopping coming and i hate answering the door for it.

He wants to go gym and i ssked him to stay until shopping comes. another hour.

He said no and i got upset and he stormed off upstairs until delivery comes.

It makes me feel so stupid and child like. makes me feel like a complere idiot... the situation not DH.

Now i feel really down and wish he could just go and id be normal.

I know i would be ok in reality but its the waiting and build up. i sound so stupid sad

Henners1 Wed 31-Oct-12 11:54:07

It doesn't sound stupid at all toms. I've just had to take my car for an mot and worked myself up into such a panic before going. In reality it was fine, it's often the waiting that is worse. I've got to go and pick it up later and know that I will work myself up into a panic again.

Hope you're feeling better x

I told him id be ok and he went and i was ok.

Its the build up and the trapped feeling i hate sad

I hope picking the car up goes smoothly x

toms I think the build up to things and feeling trapped are the worst things with anxiety. Took ds2 to a party today had to go in with him and felt all panicked and practically ran out! Then I got all worked up about seeing mw and that was fine once I got there!

jubbly I have no idea how to linky but if you look on ante natal threads the jan 2013 is there it's the one where we are nearer the end... Yes join now. Everyone is going through the same things which is helpful x

Henners1 Wed 31-Oct-12 22:28:01

Evening everyone, ive had my first glimpse today that everything might just be ok and I might just make it out of this slump. Hopefully it's the new tablets that are working.

Hope everyone is doing ok, really hope that I don't wake up tomorrow back to square one x

alwaysworriedtoo Thu 01-Nov-12 10:50:22

good news henners! I am again ok. I worked out that I peaked 10 days before my period is due. I think this is around ovulation time. I now have achy boobs (another side affect of a.f!) about a weekish before I am due. I am wondering if my hormones are not having an effect?
Thge only proper 'panick' I have had is when i dropped off d.d at mums for babysitting and she was cooking puddings on gas, they were all in the kitchen it was very stiffling and hot and when we left I wanted to take back our carbon monoxide tester. hubby wouldn't let me so I sent mum a text telling her (grin) to 'make sure you keep the room ventalated because you dont want to get carbon monoxide poisoning' Mum was ok about this and agreed telling me she had opened the window more. I did actually relax after this. But I was cross with hubby for a bit because he had poo-poohed my wanting to lend them our tester!
I also didn't want to finish a drink after I noticed the glass was dirty (we'd gone to a pub)
But! I diod drink a very strange drink with glitter in it! It had glittery bits j2o sparkle or something and I actually drank it all. I forgot to look to see if I had sparkly erm... (toilety stuff!) afterwards though!
When we went to pick up dd the room felt a lot better, and everyone was fine!
Iv'e not done anything aboutn the counceling yet. have decided to wait and stick to my original plan. hopefully then I will have more facts of triggers to tell doc!

Henners1 Fri 02-Nov-12 17:46:37

Things don't seem to be getting better. Took my son to the doctors tonight and thought I was going to freak out. Managed to wait it out but this doesn't give me any sense of achievement.

I just don't get it. Up unti a month ago I was fine. I'd had anxiety for 7 years but I'd always managed it,in fact the longest anxiety attack I'd ever had was an hour and then I managed to get out of it. Now it's like theres some kind of fog that i just can't lift. Like my heads really heavy and I could topple over at any minute - does that sound odd? I'm just so frustrated with it!

YommyMommy Fri 02-Nov-12 20:41:43

Hi henners,

Have you just started taking meds?? Don't have time to read all the threads again right now, but I'd that's the case apparently they can increase ur anxiety in the first few weeks!

How are you feeling tonight? X x

Henners1 Fri 02-Nov-12 21:01:51

I was on citralopram for 7 years, they switched me o sertraline but after 3 wks I felt awful so a few days ago they changed me to fluoxetine.

I'm pretty restless tonight and spaced out. Only having 3hrs sleep last night because my son isnt well probably doesn't help though. I just need to know this will get better as I'm slowly losing hope!

Ahhhtetley Fri 02-Nov-12 21:14:15

Another one here too smile

I'm booked in to see a councillor via work soon so I'll let you know how I get on.

I've had panic attacks and anxiety for about 3 years now. Started at work and for about the last 2 years its stayed at work, however it's now started to creep into my private life. I had a panic attack to and from Tunisia on the plane so it's put me off flying. sad Plus various other bouts of anxiety.

I take Propanlol as and when I need it at work which is why I think it's been getting progressively worse. I use it for stage fright and to get me through stressful situations. I reckon I'm now using it as a crutch, which I can't chuck away right now.

Are there any others our there that work full time and deal with panic attacks and anxiety?

YommyMommy Fri 02-Nov-12 21:16:04

It will get better henners. 3 hrs sleep is really not enough and you know it makes anxiety much worse!!

Your being really hard on yourself! You should b impressed for sitting it out at doctors surgery with DS! Be a little kinder to yourself! It's tough when our kids are sick sad

You will get better henners! X x

YommyMommy Fri 02-Nov-12 21:21:20

Hi tetly,

Yeah I work full time and deal with anxiety! It's not great, but I get through! Going through a really tough time right now and have just started on AD's. Would this b an option for you? X x

Ahhhtetley Sat 03-Nov-12 21:19:30

Hi YM I haven't ever taken ADs as I'm not classed as depressed. Just right royally pissed off with the situation. I know it's all in my head and anxiety never hurt anyone but I can't for the life of me tell my head that angry

Henners1 Sat 03-Nov-12 22:25:38

Hi Tetley, hope you don't mind me butting me. I'm not depressed either, although you would think that anxiety is enough to make anyone feel depressed. There is still medication you can take. When I first started getting anxiety I didnt see how medication could help what was going on inside my head but it's a chemical imbalance so it really can. I would definitely go and see your gp x

YommyMommy Sun 04-Nov-12 08:27:25

I second what henners said. My doctor said I didn't have depression either, but the anxiety was making everything a struggle and making my mood low. Just wish I had gotten help sooner sad

YommyMommy Mon 05-Nov-12 10:20:11

Morning ladies,

How is everyone? X x

Ahhhtetley Mon 05-Nov-12 16:15:07

Afternoon smile

Thanks for the responses, I'm a bit hesitant to visit my GP as myself and my dH are going through the adoption process and your medical history is well and truly scrutinised...

I've had an ok day at work today. I had 3 days off last week due to a bug and I'm usually terrified of going back to work after time off but it went well. Only one small wobble in a meeting so all is well.

How is everyone else?

alwaysworriedtoo Tue 06-Nov-12 20:41:57

Im Great! I honestly am.
I managed to cook food for a bonfire party and didn't freak out when...
a; water from the sink may or may not have splashed into the onion pan.
b; some chips fell out of the tray and went onto the oven door whilst I was turning them and my mum put them back into the tray.
c; d.d. was tipping sweets onto her grubby mittens and eating them.
d; I wasn't sure if the coffee had been opened by dh or was unsealed and it got used.
Also nobody (as far as we know) got poisoned!
Maybe at another time of the month I would have freaked and ...
a; chucked onions out and made fresh.
b;threw the fallen chips away.(my mum actually ate some off the oven door as well so she is obviously a sensible (sane) woman!)
c;Told her to 'stop' not let her eat the ones she had tipped out, given her a small saucer or kitchen roll to put sweets on.Or even 'save your sweets till later'!
d; chucked coffee out after buying a replacement possibly secretly blush

Also Mil brought d.d a set of panflutes and after she had tried them told us that the man had demonstrated them and 'everyone' had tried them and no-one could make them work. This morning I gave them a wipe over and held them for a short while over the kettle steam!

Hope lots of you out there are o.k too smile

keekeeblue Wed 07-Nov-12 16:03:33

Hi Always

It's great to hear you are feeling so well and coping with all your anxieties. I am very happy for you.

I'm also having a good week. I've been really busy with lots of errands to run and appointments with osteopath, counsellor, etc. Maybe this has helped.

Although I have just invited my parents for dinner in a couple of weeks so I am sure the run up to that will be anxiety riddenn and stressful (due to their toxic parenting and my mother's constant put-downs).

Taking each day at a time and hoping tomorrow will also be happy.

Take care Always x

alwaysworriedtoo Wed 07-Nov-12 19:36:07

Keekee, glad you are having a good week too!
Hope everything goes okay with your dinner. It's awful and arkward when you don't know what someone is likely to say, and you know that its probably going to be condescending.
I, a few weeks ago offended mil but dh thinks she might have been off with him too for some unknown reason. I was dreading them coming on bonfire night and wondered if I should say anything or just avoid her, but, instead I talked to her very chattily as if nothing had happened, it felt as if I was being too forced, but it helped me get over the arkwardness and she soon was talking to me like she used to normally(I ignored all the things that normally make me grump in my head =what she does that I wouldn't normally allowetc) It was almost like pretending nothing had happened. I told dh she was ok with me even before she had drank the wine! He was glad!
I know your situation is different, but what if you maybe 'pretended' that you had to ignore all the bad stuff, like been an actress, for every put down come back with some sort of compliment?
I think sometimes people don't realise what affect they have on people especially parents.
My upbringing was particullary strict, more than my brothers and I use to get so confused trying to 'second guess' what they were trying to telll me in a roundabout way and then getting all upset and confused because I really didn't understand what the problem was with what I was doing/not doing!
I resolved to be honest and straightforward with any children i ever had and not skirt around an issue with hints and nudges where you have to get all the clues right! (I actually have a wonderful relationship with my parents, I think in part because I accepted my upbringing, learned from it, and moved on. I know I am really lucky to have been able to do this)
Sorry! What a waffle!
back to the piont!
I think keeping busy definatly helps, as does seeing each day as fresh.
Hope all stays well for you!

alwaysworriedtoo Wed 07-Nov-12 19:51:37

Just thinking about my family... I wonder if anxiety/depression is hereditory or can be in our genetic make up? (is that the same thing?)
My dad has been to gp with depression once that I know of a few years ago and other things that he does I notice I do too. Learned behavior maybe? For example if I buy some new product to eat I will often keep the packet for a few days 'just in case' I noticed my dad does this though he actually keeps a little of the product as well. Re checking stuff ie doors locked?, 'what did that say?'( HAVE to know other wise itll bug me), who opened the milk?. Wierd little stuff...
I know sometimes I will say or do something and dh will say 'its a 'my maiden name-ism' (Like ' A Jonesism')
Hmm...
One of my brothers also used to have a thing about washing his hands, at the time I thought it was because of his occupation and things he had to do in his job he was doing also at home, but maybe again an ocd thing...
I may have to do some more research...

Henners1 Wed 07-Nov-12 20:46:08

Hi everyone hope you are well, apparently anxiety/depression is hereditary, my dad has suffered for years so reckon that's where i get it from.

Well I went to a group anxiety cbt session Monday. It turned into anarchy. The bloke that runs it basically told me that he doesn't believe my legs turning to jelly, which is what happens when I have a bad attack, is real as this is uncommon so there must be something else going on. He also doesn't beleive in drugs as they just mask the problems and the doctor telling me to breath into a paper bag is ridiculous. He also told 3 members of the group that there anxieties, which stem from their bosses at work, would best be solved by a tribunal and this probably wasn't the place for them. He then told the group that we talked too much amongst ourselves, sharing stories and sympathising, and he was there to do a job so we needed to stop! One girl ran crying from the room.

The good thing to come out of it is that I met 2 really nice people and we've been I touch since the session, but methinks that he might be in the wrong job x

keekeeblue Thu 08-Nov-12 10:03:47

Oh my god! Henners that would put me off therapy for life - what an awful condescending person. He is DEFINITELY in the wrong job! Where is the compassion and empathy. Have you reported him? Hope you are OK x

Hi Always, it's really interesting that anxiety is hereditary - I think both my parents have mental health issues but have never accepted them or asked for help. Good tip though about coming back with a compliment I will try that. It seems whenever I am in the company of my parents I revert back to being a child, not in a childish way, but I just nod and only talk about things I know won't rock the boat so to speak. I was never aloud my own opinion as a child and still feel now that if I have a different opinion to theirs they don't like it and get angry. Unfortunately I have till next Sunday to worry about it. But like you say today is a new day and I am feeling good and even have a plan to do ironing and housework! though obviously MN takes priority!! grin thanks for the advice and hope you have a good day x

Hello

henners that guy sounds awful. I have done group cbt before and it works best if those in the group feel they have some support and are free to talk. Obviously there is stuff they are trying to teach/explain but some calm flexibility would clearly be more helpful! Is it through nhs? Is there anyone you can compain to?

I had been feeling quite ok recently but felt rotten and anxious this morning. Think it's because during the week we have a proper routine witg school etc and I have the day to clean and try to eat/ relax when I need to. But weekends are hard! I am 30 weeks pg and tired and achey and uncomfortable and dp works weekends so it's just me and 3 dcs and I feel guilty that at the mo I'm not doing much with them and we hardly go out!

This pg was a huge shock and I have to admit that at times I feel trapped by it, like I could cope and get out and about with dcs if I only had my body back to myself sad

AnAirOfHopeForSnow Wed 14-Nov-12 14:33:46

my phone is not working i cant contact oh and i have to go pick ds up from school but i think im having a panic attack.

Im shaking and feel sick and dont want to go out of house.

what do i do

YommyMommy Wed 14-Nov-12 14:59:19

Tell the panic to fuck right off!! Remember it CANNOT harm you other than make you feel like utter shit!!!

X x

AnAirOfHopeForSnow Wed 14-Nov-12 16:23:56

I went and got son. Im not normaly that bad sad

1) O forgot it was show and tell day for ds
2) I was just told he is not in school tomoro as its a polling station
3) I needed to give them £2 for the tickets to see my ds be a camel in the school play
4) Ds has another party invite to another party he 'must' go to because 'they like me mum i have to go' lol

Im antisocial and have depression. I also have a hyper three year old son and an 11 month old dd and a disabled dh.

I think im about to lose the plot and i sooo need to be able to cope right now.

and breath. smile

Thank you for reading

3plus2 Wed 14-Nov-12 16:54:46

Anyone here still? Is it too late to join? I have just had third dc 3 months ago and have pnd sad and anxiety. I have a meeting next week with work and I'm terrified I really don't want to go . I'm convinced all the attention will be on me all faces staring at me ! I keep telling myself they are going to sack me I don't think they are but I'm convinced that they are and I feel so sick . Every time I wake In the morning it enters my head with utter dread its making me so miserable sad

AnAirOfHopeForSnow Wed 14-Nov-12 17:08:24

Im here and can hand hold.

I dont think they will sack you they just want you to get better and to see how they can help you.

They can delay your return or you can work flxitime or reduced hours. They are there to help you.

3plus2 Wed 14-Nov-12 17:54:41

It's about changes that need to be made or something I'm sure I be fine but it scares me so much it makes me really ill

noodles112uk Thu 15-Nov-12 11:08:11

Hi everyone. I'm new here but I'm hoping for a bit of support.

I first became anxious in August after a series of massive panic attacks in just one day. Since that day I feel like I am completely losing the plot. I wake up shaking and afraid to open my eyes. It's becoming harder and harder ti look after my 17 month old ds on my own.

my parter has to take time off work because I cant cope. I have been in to A&E numerous times with symptoms such as chest pains, migraines and stomach aches but after blood work, ct scans, ultrasouns etc, the doctors have given me a clean bill of health and have diagnosed me with GAD. I was perscribed 50mg of Sertraline to take every day but have stopped as on my second dose I had an extremely frightening experience of panic. My DH is so angry at me for stopping taking it. He's told me to pull myself together but I can't seem to no matter how hard I try. He doesn't understand how much I want to be 'the old me' I have to go back to the doctors in 2 weeks to let them know how I'm getting on with it but I can't take anymore because of the side effects. I also have a councelling session booked for in 3 weeks. Do any of you find talkinf to someone helps?

I try to get out every day for a 20 minute walk and at weekends I take my DS on a day trip but I am plagued with a tight chest, dizziness, headaches and anxiety the whole time. I keep thinking I have a terminal disease. Everyone else in the world seems 'normal' but me. I'm not sure how much more I can take.

Can anyone relate to this? I'm in desperate need of support.

Sorry for going on. I hope everyone is feeling better today. xx

YommyMommy Thu 15-Nov-12 11:30:10

Hi noodles,

Sounds like you are having an awful time right now sad but believe me when I say you are not alone!!

I have and do experience all you are going through right now. And it can and will get better.

50mg seems a lot to start off with. I started on AD a few weeks ago. CItalopram, but have only started on 10mg, will probably go up to 20 in next few weeks if need be. Can you go back to GP and discuss lower dose or something different if you don't feel that one suits you?

X x

BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte Thu 15-Nov-12 22:43:01

I'm having a panic attack just now. May I join?

YommyMommy Fri 16-Nov-12 09:17:51

Welcome breast milk! How you feeling? X x

corblimeymadam Fri 16-Nov-12 17:54:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

3plus2 Fri 16-Nov-12 18:53:16

Omg I can relate I'm convinced I have a brain tumour then the fear makes me feel so ill and I panic like made and feel so sick with the fear of it - then I take deep breaths and tell my self stop being so silly and it helps and then I calm down sad I can't take the AD's I've been given they made me go funny I'm trying to get through alone my GP is rubbish sad

3plus2 Fri 16-Nov-12 18:59:09

And I keep blushing when speaking to people which is embarrassing which makes me blush more ! Grrrr I just think it's best I don't go out at all angry

alwaysworriedtoo Sat 17-Nov-12 08:46:34

Hi, every one. 3plus1 I'm a blusher too!
Sending everyone brew and biscuit

YommyMommy Sat 17-Nov-12 11:43:15

Hi Alwaysworried,

Thanks for the tea and treats grin how are you today?

I'm doing okay. Have managed to do more than I thought this morning smile been for DS's swimming lessons. Now back home for some lunch then out for a few hrs with DH and DS's. I'm feeling pretty tired today, but that's nothing new!

My DH goes away to work again on Monday so I'm feeling pretty sad about that!

Hope everyone is good! Have a relaxing weekend! X x

3plus2 Sat 17-Nov-12 17:31:45

I managed to get out shopping today and was great then by 3 pm I was knackered and came down with a big low sad it was horrible but got a film on and feeling a bit better now smile Hope everyone is ok xx

YommyMommy Sat 17-Nov-12 17:48:19

Well done on getting out shopping 3plus. I also got out shopping and DH treated me to some new clothes and time to myself while he took boys to the outdoors attractions. Had a bit of a panic in boots due to being really hungry n feeling a little light headed...hmm!

The lows are the pits though sad I'm making tea for me n DH...boys have been fed so feeling a bit better now too!

Did you get anything while out shopping?? X x

3plus2 Sat 17-Nov-12 18:12:09

Sounds like you had a good day smile yes a new dress I was really pleased its really lovely smile I just had a wee minor panic about a stupid meeting I have Thursday :0 it appears I'm getting social anxiety rather bad cause I keep blushing when the focus is on me it's so embarrassing and just now I was panicking and made me cry sad I'm ok again now though gonna focus on my film smile

YommyMommy Sat 17-Nov-12 18:44:35

I always blush when I'm centre of attention too! It's not great, but I'm not as bad as I used to be!

I hate it bring do worried about things...it's a joke! I woke up this morning thinking to myself I am so sick of feeling like this! Anxiety is really the pits! But we'll get there in the end grin x x

3plus2 Sat 17-Nov-12 19:02:34

I know I worry about not worrying I start thinking I have nothing to worry about so something bad is going to happen confused

YommyMommy Sat 17-Nov-12 19:19:17

I worry about going crazy n that I'll end up locked up :/ it's really horrible!

Anyway, enough of worrying ourselves silly! Let relax and enjoy our Saturday nights! What film are you watching? X x

3plus2 Sat 17-Nov-12 19:49:08

Big mommas house lol cheering me up grin

Kellyl26 Sat 17-Nov-12 22:43:39

Yes please! Been suffering from anxiety badly lately, heart palpitations, general sense of fear & can't concentrate!

3plus2 Sun 18-Nov-12 08:59:50

Hi kelly how are you today ?

YommyMommy Sun 18-Nov-12 09:45:40

Welcome Kelly!

Morning 3plus, how are you today? I woke up about 5.30 n was feeling great. I even managed to get back to sleep but when I woke again I was back to anxious Annie! It really does my flipping head in! Grrrrrr! X x

3plus2 Sun 18-Nov-12 15:46:31

In not good today I swear I'm gonna get sectioned I'm freakinv out that I'm going to loose my kids ! I nrly had a breakdown in the shop cause I just wanted to go home and then I forgot how to get home sad

QuiteQuiet Sun 18-Nov-12 15:48:58

Hello, just marking my place here then I have to run, anyone any tips with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and coping? My therapist seems useless.

QuiteQuiet Sun 18-Nov-12 15:50:22

Wow just read back a bit, I cannot watch TV or even read, my mind takes over. PITA Over thinking? Yes, everything. sad

YommyMommy Sun 18-Nov-12 16:23:29

Hi 3plus,

I get scared when my kids are out that I'll forget to pick them up on time and daft things like that. We are no going insane and your not going to loose ur kids! I am guessing that since you are posting you got home fine...with kids in toe grin

Welcome quiet, quiet. My GP seems to think I'm going through a bit of PTSD too due yo recent I'll health. I was seeing a councillor and she was pretty rubbish. Seeing CPN on 26th so if she gives me any good tips I'll b sure to let you know! X x

3plus2 Sun 18-Nov-12 17:51:57

It was really horrible I really think I'm totally loosing the plot and I'm really scared sad

QuiteQuiet Sun 18-Nov-12 19:20:07

Thank you, my GP is helpful, but my psycotherapist actually asked 'what would you like me to help you with?' I answered, panic attacks, flashbacks, night-terrors, overly angry/happy outbursts, unblocking bad memories and more than 3 hours sleep would be a bonus, thank you.

I see her again in 2 weeks.

3plus2 I know that feeling all too well, I some times struggle to remember my cashline number on a bad day. I hope you are getting some help.

3plus2 Sun 18-Nov-12 20:15:59

No my GP is useless I never see the same one either. I can't take the meds I'm doing it all alone but I'm sure I will get there ......

YommyMommy Sun 18-Nov-12 20:21:29

3 plus, you should try to see another, good, GP! It can really help have a professional put ur mind at ease!!

What ages are it LO's? smile x x

QuiteQuiet Sun 18-Nov-12 20:39:39

3plus2

I was in the same position as you, you cannot let it go on, please try to find a doctors who is not a locum and DEMAND help. I cried lots, that helped, also a note saying 'I am going insane here' helped. Then I spoke to Practice Manager, he was my doctor when I was 10, I'm 37, I'm sticking with him, I do find however, I have to make an appointment 2 weeks in advance of asking for help.

girliefriend Sun 18-Nov-12 20:42:22

Hello can I join as well please? I have had anxiety in the past to the extent that I was agrophobic but somehow got myself well and was o.kay for quite a long time but annoyingly the last couple of years a lot of the old fears are creeping back in sad

My anxiety tends to focus around bloody toilets!! I have IBS and the thought of being somewhere and not being able to get to the loo brings on overwhelming panic. You would not believe how much thought has to go into everything I do in order to avoid being in a situation where there might not be a friggin toilet!!

Other things that make me anxious include being in the car with anyone other than my dd, I avoid being a passenger at all costs, going to the cinema - which is ridiculous as I love going to the cinema!! I really get anxious about eating out, going out for a meal would be my idea of hell. There are lots of other things as well I am sure!!

MulledWineOnTheBusLady Sun 18-Nov-12 21:36:00

Marking place. My anxiety bounces backwards and forwards. Sometimes I hyperventilate at the thought of sending an email, sometimes I get through a week pretty "normally". Generally I am anxious about all work situations, any situation where I have to negotiate, and any social situation where stuff is actually riding on me. And some days I just cannot bear to even go to the shops - I find the noise and people overwhelming. I've not been sleeping the last few nights - awake like clockwork at about 3am and never get back to sleep. Not had this before. I hope I'm not entering into a new phase!

Am sad at the number of people mentioning anxiety related to their DC's safety. I don't have any and this would be a major reason not to.

BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte Sun 18-Nov-12 22:22:43

Hello. Anxious about lack of mobile phones (both broken), humungous workload in week ahead, hospital appointment in seven weeks, sudden flare-up of chronic pain, cash-flow isssssues, how I'm going to manage the journey get an essential signature from a person for a vital form (can I cope with two hours of slow and bumpy bus rides possibly standing up? would it be a kamikazi act to attempt just to cycle it? would it be financial self-annihilation to take a taxi one way?)... and I'm rrealllllllly anxious about all the stress and arguing between DH and I and the effect it'll have had on the kiddies.

I've taken half a valium but am now worrying I should have kept the tablet for more significant challenges...

3plus2 Mon 19-Nov-12 07:42:05

I'm actually thinking of just walking into hospital and asking for help but I'm scared I will be sectioned or something and loose my baby sad my elder two are 4 and 8 they are at school full time. I can't take the seroxat I've been prescribed not only did it give me the worst symptoms ever and after research can cause up to 3 stone weight gain and us highly addictive ! There was even a panorama program's about it! When I phoned my GP she fobbed me off saying no no it's not known to cause drowsiness or make you feel worse - ur rubbish it says it in the damn leaflet so since then I'm not going back plus I'm too bloody scared to go back now (everyone judging me anxiety ) I'm fed up waking up and just wanting to sit in and cry all day it's ridiculous!

3plus2 Mon 19-Nov-12 07:43:08

And I don't want to contact my sure start centre as I know someone who works there and I don't want her knowing what's wrong with me. sad

alwaysworriedtoo Mon 19-Nov-12 09:29:48

Big hugs 3plus2. Sorry your having problems with g.p.sad

My anxiety is still ok at moment but due to this event;
http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parentport/1615720-Dont-know-how-to-handle-this-situation-Offended-and-upset-MIL-and-DD
I now feel misserable as owt and keep getting weepy. I started to talk to a friend from the school and couldn't otherwise I would have blubbed in the playground, I had to tell them I would have to tell them about it later.
My back and neck feels tight and I feel crap.
I talked to dh told him I know it wasnt nice what dd said but doesn't he think there might be a bit of an over reaction? DD talks to my mum about gran did this, that and the other and gran bought this, that the other but there is never any bad feeling about it.
Dh says I will always take dd's side and that she must have said something really horrible to make his mum cry.
''I want my mummy and daddy, I want to go home. i like it at nans, you could take me and mummy and daddy could pick me up'' Was the main gist of the sentance dh finally told me'' and shed been crying a lot/fussing.
Sorry I'm repeating everything but I keep thrashing it around in my head trying to make sence of it and can't.
I think I'm going to write an email to mil and say I'm sorry that dd upset her and ask if there is anything else bothering her that she wants to get out in the open.
Sorry this isn't really an anxiety issue but just so 'aaarrrggghh' sad

keekeeblue Mon 19-Nov-12 09:30:48

Hi 3plus2, it sounds like you are really struggling at the moment. sad Can you see another GP? Maybe you can change the medication. I am taking Paroxetine (seroxat) since March and I feel so much better for it. I have heard that the withdrawal symptoms are quite bad but as I'm feeling so well have decided to deal with it when the time comes. But there are lots of other meds you can take and it does help to have a sympathetic GP. Have you trying call MIND or Anxiety UK? Focus on your breathing when you feel things are getting out of control. Leave the room for a few minutes peace and then when you go back in try to feel a sense of calm. Easier said than done I know smile. Thinking of you.

alwaysworriedtoo Mon 19-Nov-12 09:31:24

3plus2 Can you change your g.p? Or is there a practice nurse who would maybe be more sympathetic at your surgery?

YommyMommy Mon 19-Nov-12 09:47:37

3plus2,

How are you feeling this morning? Thinking of you smile x x

3plus2 Mon 19-Nov-12 10:17:03

Well managed to do asda and I survived my bank card didn't tho grin feel really pleased I was ok in there even tho I was less then an hour . I've emailed an nhs pnd place for help hoping they may b able to point me in right direction ! I think my anxiety is too
High to take meds cause I freak when I've taken one that my throat will close up and I can't breathe! Will let you know if I hear back. Thank you so much ladies smile always worried don't worry about what dd said she is a child she doesn't realise my dd hates being away from home. keepkeeblue I'm glad the seroxat is helping you , I know I should but it made me feel most strange sad

YommyMommy Mon 19-Nov-12 10:30:17

Yeah 3plus!! Well done you!!! grin

I hope you get a response from the NHS, I'm sure you will!!

I started taking cItalopram about 4 weeks ago and can honestly say I've had no side effects, but I can totally understand your concerns re taking meds. I hate even taking pain killers, lol! Luckly I'm not sick or in pain very often grin

Hope ur good day continues! X x

3plus2 Mon 19-Nov-12 11:10:41

Thanks yommymommy so nice of you to take time out to talk to me blush it really makes a difference . Glad the citalopram is working for you that's brilliant. I can't take that it made me go funny lol the only one that I'm fine with is prozac but I'm bfeeding so trying to be strong by talking to you lovely people and getting out as much as I can handle...

QuiteQuiet Mon 19-Nov-12 12:06:38

3plus2

Please don't be afraid of asking for help, I was but I realised I wasn't getting any alone.
I have 2 diagnoses for my head. PTSD and GAD, generalised anxiety disorder (scared of everything).

I couldn't take mitrazpine due to weight gain, but I found if I spoke with Gps about this they would suggest 'go to the gym' (another fear).

So I explained they were making my dreams horrific, so they changed me onto amytriptiline and I can now sleep at night, most nights without the night-terrors.

I was in an abusive marriage my soon to be ex loved o say 'I will tell social services on you you are mental' hmm and 'I will drive you to kill yourself' (lovely name not)

Another fear of my is bloody GP waiting rooms, I take my phone sit in the corner and stare at my phone, I am a big fan of 'telephone consultations' but they do force me out every 3 months to their offices. grin

I have been on most medications mentioned here and a few more, largatil was the worse, I think GP's just wanted to knock me out for a few weeks, well that's how it felt.

One thing I can say helped was a confidence group, It took me 2 years to walk through the doors only to find 13 ladies all the same as me, sadly I missed the final few weeks and lost out on many phone numbers, but this group, you can do it again and again, so I have to do it again, it's in week 6 just now, so I am not going into this one but will try the next one, next year, these ladies are fantastic, they were all nervy/anxious people and what they say makes so much sense, I did fell confident every Thursday for a while grin

I even managed to go a 'date', see I cannot even date men as I am fine via telephone, internet but when it comes to meeting them, I shake, uncontrollably, it's horrid.

Anyway, a few weeks back I was certain I was having a nervous breakdown, my mind was racing, I couldn't stop crying, so I took myself to the GP.

I told him 'I am insane, I talk to myself, my mind goes at 100mph and I cannot stop thinking so sometimes find I talking to myself blush' I then told him 'I think I need locked up by the men in white coats do you?'

He spoke to me about my worries and life and broke it all down for me and he made so much sense, so I have no over-night answers to my problems and no medications can fix me immediately, I need a therapist, to take all my blocked boxes in my brain and talk it all out, then he thinks I will be okay. I hope he is correct. I also old him 'I am hyperactive, I cannot sit still' he explained I was not hyperactive I was overly stressed, so I am working on relaxation, angry outbursts and a few other things next week with my therapist.

His final words on me leaving were 'Quite, you are NOT MAD/INSANE' I whimpered 'thank you' then off I went and started talking to myself again...hmm

I am big fan of hiding in the house, not facing life, internet shopping, anything so I don't go out, everyone is now trying to 'get me out' it is difficult but when I get out I am usually okay.

I know it is horrid asking for help with your head and I worry a lot also but sometimes we all need to ask for help and you have done the correct thing.

Hello everyone else, I hope you are having a good day, I am, I'm allowed to stay locked indoors until Thursday. hmm I will worry about that on Wednesday.

MulledWineOnTheBusLady Mon 19-Nov-12 12:15:03

Quite I'm having a day at home too. I shouldn't be. sad I have something I'm supposed to go to this afternoon but I can't manage it today, it's too much. Too many worries running round my head. So now I feel guilty about not going to the thing as well.

I really hate being like this for poor DP. He puts up with so much when I'm constantly pinging around between anxiety/guilt/tearfulness about a million different things. I am quite boring to live with sometimes. sad

QuiteQuiet Mon 19-Nov-12 13:01:29

MulledWine

Don't be sad, I am the most boring person alive I think.

Can you not talk yourself into doing your thing this afternoon?

MulledWineOnTheBusLady Mon 19-Nov-12 13:03:27

Too late now, Quite. I should've left ages ago.

I've kind of talked myself into being ok about not doing it though. That is progress. Usually I would spend the whole of the rest of the day wracked with guilt and self-loathing that I didn't go, which is completely pointless because then I can't do anything else useful instead.

QuiteQuiet Mon 19-Nov-12 13:03:39

Are you on any medication?

MulledWineOnTheBusLady Mon 19-Nov-12 13:05:52

No, I have been in the past but it doesn't make much difference TBH. I also think it may have been partly responsible for some not very good side effects.

QuiteQuiet Mon 19-Nov-12 13:06:09

I do this often. Have little talks in my head and somehow manage to put most things off, unless necessary. I have 2 things to do on thursdsay, on is must GP's.

The other should be a must, but I am sitting right now saying 'what's the point?'. I don't know if this is just my mood today, but I think I will back out!

You're not alone. many people feel like this.

MulledWineOnTheBusLady Mon 19-Nov-12 13:07:01

Thanks for asking though. smile I'm going to get on with a bit of work and tidying, I think. I'm lucky in that I am studying at the moment (which wouldn't be possible without DP), so if I don't want to go out I can at least get on with some work at home.

QuiteQuiet Mon 19-Nov-12 13:08:46

No worries, I am supposed to be studying but it's too much, again I am telling myself whats the point' not even asking... just telling myself. I may go lie down and remove some of today.

Take care.

MulledWineOnTheBusLady Mon 19-Nov-12 13:09:36

Yy to the little talks in my head that put things off! Definitely did that this morning

I think, reflecting on it, it is because I did something I found very stressful on Saturday. It totally occupied all my stress circuits for several weeks, my work really suffered. But it was absolutely non-negotiable that I went. So I did, and got through it, and I feel like I'm still calming down from it and processing everything that happened really. Probably why I'm a bit feeble today.

MulledWineOnTheBusLady Mon 19-Nov-12 13:10:00

You take care too Quite smile

QuiteQuiet Mon 19-Nov-12 15:42:00

I cannot even lie down, my body wants to sleep, my brain wants to think grin

Nevermind, I will knock myself out 10.30pm tonight...hmm

MulledWineOnTheBusLady Mon 19-Nov-12 15:44:59

Have you ever tried reading [[http://www.amazon.co.uk/Stop-Thinking-Start-Living-Happiness/dp/0722535473 Stop Thinking Start Living?] It's really a sort of simplified Cognitive Behavioural Therapy thing for depressives and (to an extent) anxiety sufferers. Sometimes I find it useful and like I'm in a position to take the advice - other times I'm a bit too far down the rabbithole!

But might be worth a try, so thought I'd mention it?

MulledWineOnTheBusLady Mon 19-Nov-12 15:45:20

Doh, link fail. Stop Thinking Start Living

QuiteQuiet Mon 19-Nov-12 16:19:43

Thank you, I may try that when I next get some money.smile

It's easier to help other people than deal with your own problems isn't it ? grin

MulledWineOnTheBusLady Mon 19-Nov-12 16:23:15

Definitely. This is why I am on the MN so much grin

MulledWineOnTheBusLady Mon 19-Nov-12 16:23:41

Stray "the". Can't even write today!

QuiteQuiet Mon 19-Nov-12 20:59:24

I'm all typed out, I never usually manage a full sentence.... I am typist who cannot type! grin

QuiteQuiet Mon 19-Nov-12 21:00:13

sentance or sentence, this American dictionary spell-check is way too confusing for me, it keeps replacing my s's with z's also. grin

YommyMommy Mon 19-Nov-12 21:20:53

Lol QQ!!

I really need to start proof reading before posting. I often cringe when re reading...I'm terrible for making silly mistakes blush

Hope everyone is having a calm evening grin x x

QuiteQuiet Mon 19-Nov-12 21:25:41

Even better I also suffer from slight dsylexia, I sent a memo round an office once saying

'please can you all have your dairies order by October this year' blush

know/now, brain/brian, through/throw.... diaries/dairies grin

If I keep posting you will not doubt spot them all and if I cannot think of a word I just make one up which resembles it grin

QuiteQuiet Mon 19-Nov-12 21:26:13

Jesus Christ dyslexia blush

QuiteQuiet Wed 21-Nov-12 10:45:16

How is everyone today?

I have 2 things to do tomorrow, I was going to back out of one, but I may put my Nike top on and 'Just Do It' hmm

I am so not over-thinking about tomorrow btw! hmm

YommyMommy Wed 21-Nov-12 10:56:31

Hey QQ,

Best thing to do with Anxiety it to beat its ass!! Only way it can get better!!

So don the Nike t-shirt and just do it grin x x

alwaysworriedtoo Wed 21-Nov-12 16:23:24

Said that dd can go to her best friends house on Mon and keep getting a wobble!

YommyMommy Wed 21-Nov-12 17:06:13

Hey always worried!

Why you so worried about it? She'll b fine and so will you! smile x x

alwaysworriedtoo Wed 21-Nov-12 18:17:47

Thanks Yommy Mommy, shes been before but this is the first time shes been picked up from school by friends dad and driven there. I don't like traffic at this time of year! I'll just have to remind myself he takes dd's friend home by car all the time why should this time be any different. (But then its like those films ='I've only got two weeks left to retirement/ holiday/ Christmas' and then you just Know Something is going to happen)I always get a wobble when dh Is driving anywhere further than usaul at this time of year too...

YommyMommy Wed 21-Nov-12 19:00:14

I'm sure dd's friends dad drives very carefully! She will b fine.

I know that feeling of impending doom though and it's no fun!! X x

QuiteQuiet Thu 22-Nov-12 14:02:13

Thank you!!

I swear I'm fighting this anxiety full frontal I shall list what I have done in 2 days to impress myself! Oh and apparently my therapist is not erm... useless the first few session, I speak lots she listens and attempts to work out WTF to do with my wacko brain! Poor lady, she has her work cut out.

Okay I have:

Drove with a semi flat tyre.
Garage tyre thing didn't work so drove further and to a new petrol station I didn't look like dumb ass blonde and pretend not to know how to inflate the tyre I filled the machine with 20ps and just put the metal object on my tyre and press it's lever and voila - I inflated a tyre, okay this may seem minimal but for me it's a big anxiety of mine.

I then, drove to a new garage and yews I was confused as I have no idea what petrol to use a new garages but a man was waiting so I felt slightly anxious and chose green, that worked!

So that was all yesterday.

Today

I couldn't find any suitable Nike clothing due to the weather, so I walked the dog in this hissing rain.

I then came home see he time panicked slightly, as had GP at 9.20am, faced another fear .... the GP car park, I have to say I impressed myself, I reversed into a space without hitting anything/one.

I spoke with the GP, almost winked at the dishy one who I know I am destined to marry one day, possibly when I have less problems and move to another practice, he smiled at me twice and went blush I love him, we sit together talking when I can him for an appointment (popular GP) and we sit and blush together......forget the GP QUIET, he is married fgs!

Anyway, then I came home for an hour, then back out to another horrid carpark, I waited 5 minutes on a space and decided to try my luck in a private parking zone which I half thought may lock me in, I arrived back after 45 minutes and voila car was intact, not locked in and no fines.

I then had a man come here at 1.00pm, I was sure he was coming to throw me out of my new house for my children putting muddy hands on the walls but he didn't I must stop threatening the children with 'one more dirty mark and we move to Easterhouse flats with the penniless people' I am starting to believe my lies. He just asked 5 questions and left..hmm confused

So I think I may well get to keep this house, dirty marks and all.

Thank goodness this week is almost over, I don't even have to leave the house until Tuesday if I don't wish to now!!! Oh that may be a worry, not a big fat of the contraceptive jab in the buttock, it's necessary through, it'sthat or roll around for a week every month in agony, then support worked on Tuesday after sore buttock (I'm getting clever here, planning things on the same day).

Then a week today I have to.... oh yes my psychologist for an hour (does anyone else crave a bed to lie on or is that just me?) then some policemen at 2pm (not in trouble I am always good, nervous wreck but not troublesome).

So all good here.

Hope everyone else is fine-ish. Try trick the anxiety by just GOING OUT AND DOING THINGS!! Okay, I do cave in sometimes but this week, so far so good!

I find if my children have to go somewhere, get the phone numbers of the parents better still take the children so you know where they are and can go get them at any point!

QuiteQuiet Thu 22-Nov-12 14:03:18

alwaysworried can you get your DH to call you every hour or 2 ? Or even a text? smile Sure dd will be fine x

CC77 Thu 22-Nov-12 17:03:25

Hi, I'm so pleased to have found this support thread, can I join too?

I'm pretty sure I have an anxiety problem, and it has been getting a lot worse this year. At the moment I am the subject of a disciplinary issue at work, which has never happened to me before and is mortifying, and even before that I found myself getting irrationally cross with my children and husband to the point where I was questioning my sanity. For the first half of this year my dad was dying of cancer, then I got married in July which was stressful beyond belief, and then he died 2 weeks after that.

I was prescribed anti-anxiety medication about 10 years ago, and stopped after 12 months, but now I really think I need some more. I am terrified of talking to a doctor about it though as I'm scared I'll just be told to pull myself together (I know this could be irrational). I haven't had panic attacks this time, just feelings of panic, despair, major social phobia (school pick ups are a nightmare) and general low self esteem and negative thoughts.

It's good to 'talk' to fellow mums about this, as having children has given me all sorts of extra reasons to be anxious!

3plus2 Fri 23-Nov-12 13:09:09

Bad today feeling sick and stomach churning over sad convinced I've got a life threatening illness with every twinge sad I seriously need to get help

alwaysworriedtoo Fri 23-Nov-12 13:57:49

I don't very often get the life threatening illness vibe as much now . Only because I reached a certain age and was suprised because I wasn't dead! Now (most of the time) I think well Iv'e felt like that before and it was whatever
My worst have been was when I was covinsed that I had bowel cancer and spinal cancer. Of course I hadn't, (but it might have been, the brain cries out and so always go to doctors with any strange or new symptoms) I had tests and stuff and I had 'mild' I.B.S ( probably made worse by stressing about it and worrying about it)and had trapped a nerve in my back which after physio recovered. The other was I thought I had a brain tumor after an aunt had died of one. I was having headaches and dizzyness and seemed to remember hearing that that was how my aunt(not blood related) had started. After going to doctors feeling doomed I was releaved to find out I suffer from Migrainous headaches. That explained why everytime I had a headache it was truly terrible!

I Hope your symptoms go away gracefully and leave you in peace to feel better very soon.

3plus2 Fri 23-Nov-12 14:14:06

I keep thinking I have cervical cancer and a brain tumour due to headaches eye aches and like u said getting all hyped up over it :0 gosh I need someone to slap me round the chops or throw I've water over me! Life's too bloody short to think I've got a debilitating illness I'm sick of feeling this way. I'm glad you have got over it now that has given me some hope so thank you. smile

ChromosoneShortOfHuman Fri 23-Nov-12 14:19:09

3plus2 please try get some help, I worry about you.

I have health fears also, not great, I need to go get a bloody smear and get the fears over with, I did go but they erm found something else and I had to have a slight horrid operation in a bad area.

ChromosoneShortOfHuman Fri 23-Nov-12 14:23:30

I think we need to lose our labels. We are all individual and have kinda the same problems.

I have several now, sorry its quitequiet here, someone else has a name similar so I changed. Okay here are my labels, I will type them then lose them...

Generalised Anxiety Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Reactive Depression
Clinical Depression
IBS
Junior Arthritis in Knees (I am not 12 anymore but still have this)

I have to say I am a crap sleep last night, I didn't get to sleep until 2.30am, worrying about everything, (sigh)

Does anyone ever have what sounds like a beating noise in their brain or am I also insane?

3plus2 Fri 23-Nov-12 17:47:28

Not a beating noise but I feel sometimes as though my brain can't cope and is going to explode sad

ChromosoneShortOfHuman Fri 23-Nov-12 18:00:43

3plus2 please go see someone, be kind to yourself, I get that feeling too, not good is it?

It sounds like you are suffer from acute anxiety here, which can be treated. I am not a fan of taking pills but there are all sorts of treatment these days!

I am still sure I am verging on insane and hyperactive but 5 different doctors say stressed, so I guess I best believe them.

alwaysworriedtoo Sat 01-Dec-12 21:20:15

Hope every one is having good days. especially as it's the run up to that wonderful exciting time of year!
I have been mostly ok this month. I don't know if that is because I started earlier than usual (flo) Because iv'e been busy or because I am learning to deal with stuff. I have only had a few wobbles. DD dropped a chocolate on the floor she wrinsed it, it got dried off on a piece of kitchen roll and she ate it. I could feel the flutterings but kept thinking;
'Licking rain off the pavement!' 'Licking rain off the pavement!' 'Licking rain off the pavement!'(thanks microbiologist!)(you know who you are!)
Have had some issues with mil but I think the breach has been healed for now! I'm not having a bad month really. Lots of hand washing going on still but I think this is actually helping me focus on why because as I'm washing my hands I am asking myself 'What was that for' I have to answer and if it's stupid it makes me think before the next time I wash/wrinse them. (this sounds quiet lame when seeing it written but it seems to be working a bit!)
Anyway, as Frasier my favourite pshyciatrist (sp?) sort of says,
'here's wishing you good mental health!'

keekeeblue Mon 03-Dec-12 11:11:48

Hi Always, really pleased you are feeling so well at the moment.

I feel strangely well too....is it the calm before the Christmas storm. My gorgeous DS (8 years old) invited my parents for Christmas day (arrrghh) but I coped last year so I'm sure this year will be fine too, except no wine due to meds!!

Have had an unusual (for me) urge to clean the house today....weird....even hoovered cobwebs off the ceiling!!

Appointment with Wellbeing team tomorrow (I was referred a couple of months ago) to discuss being referred for CBT. Seems strange to think about it now as I a feeling much better than when I was referred.

Keep calm this Christmas xxxx

alwaysworriedtoo Thu 06-Dec-12 20:40:19

Hope every thing goes well with your referal Keekee, and well done with the cobweb cleaning! I have noticed a few around our house, the worst I noticed from the lamp to the ceiling! (I havn't cleaned them yet, kidding myself its the retro look!!!)
Hope your well feeling lasts throughout the season.

smile Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight! smile

Mylittlepuds Thu 06-Dec-12 21:05:28

Anyone worried about going crazy/being on the verge of crazy?

I have hours in the day when my brain just won't cooperate and I have a constant feeling of, well, I'm not sure! Like weirdness. I worry I'm going crazy, going to have a heart attack, a brain seizure, that my brain isn't functioning correctly. And for all I tell itself to stop it I just can't.

keekeeblue Fri 07-Dec-12 14:23:38

Hi Mylittlepuds

Sorry to hear you are feeling this way. Are you feeling tired, it could be fatigue or sleep deprivation. Or if you are anxious, anxiety can also make you feel this way. Try making some time for yourself to just do something for you, maybe a pedicure or facial, and focusing on your breathing also seems to help me. Just stopping and being in the moment is very good for anxiety too.

Hope you are feeling a bit better and can enjoy the weekend.

Mylittlepuds Fri 07-Dec-12 21:40:38

Hi keekee smile

I hope it's anxiety - I really do. It certainly fits the description but I'm worried it's not and I really am on the edge of sanity. I'm just so confused about life and not hopeful I'm going to get much further in it.

keekeeblue Mon 10-Dec-12 10:05:46

Hi Mylittlepuds

How are you feeling today? I hope you managed to have a good weekend. Have you been to see your GP? Please don't depair, it may feel like on the edge of sanity but you will get through it x This illness is debilitating and you need to find the right treatment for you. Please see your GP or even call MIND.

thinking of you x

Hi all joined this thread ages ago but not posted ina while. Feeling really anxious this evening. I think it is because I have mw appointment tomorrow (and ds1 school show on thurs and dd nativity on fri). I have been ok most of the day managed to eat and felt like I could manage then ds's went round to friends after school so instead of relaxing at home after school run i was feelinga bit nervous of going round and picking them up! Clearly social anxiety an issue for me! Since then I began to feel really jittery and couldn't eat my dinner.

Hoping writing all this down will help. It's silly. These are silly things to get worked up over and it doesn't help being 34 weeks pg. Why do I get like this? Mw isn't scary she will do the usual and I'll be out of there in 10 mins!

The dcs shows at school only require me to sit and watch. There's no need to get anxious to this extent.

I hate this!

Barkyboots Tue 11-Dec-12 21:38:28

Hi folks. I've just posted some of this on a different thread but maybe this is where I need to be! Normally more of a lurker than a poster on MN. I've been off work sick with anxiety/stress/depression since July, and am due to go back on Monday. I thought I was feeling robust enough when I saw my GP yesterday, so we agreed that I would start a phased return from next Monday and I have notified my employers. Overall I have been really quite surprised and disappointed at how unresponsive my employers have been, given that I've worked there for 13 years.
I'm still very anxious about returning to work though - the problem was caused by a particular bullying individual, who is still in place, and I will still have to work with her, albeit no longer share an office with her. If I so much as see someone in a car or on the street who looks like her I feel quite sick and anxious. My employers have told me that they only way they could do something about this would be if I brought a bullying claim against her - and I really don't feel I could do that - it would just create more stress and anxiety for me...
I'm also quite nervous about how to deal with questions when I go back along the lines of 'how are you?' (which I think will be code for - 'what on earth has been so wrong with you that you've been off for five months?!') I don't know how 'honest' to be or how people will 'judge' me...
Has anyone else been through anything similar? Would welcome your advice!

barky I am generally quite honest with people re my anxiety but I do think this depends on the people asking'! Are your work colleagues people who you would feel comfortable telling, it's hard to judge what the responses would be. That being said it's amazing how many people when you tell them turn out to have similar issues.

Slep surprisingly well last night given how anxious I was feeling but still felt bad when I woke up esp as stomach was pretty empty by then! Have only managed to eat a little today. Made it to mw which was fine tho explained to her that I was feeling pretty anxious. All fine except she had to do bp 3 times as it was a little high. It did come down tho so put down to anxiety.

Felt a bit better after but still only able to pick at food, really can't seem to relax this evening again. Just trying to go easy on myself.

I know that part of it is the pressure just before Xmas, it's a sociable time and I am not! But I can't be like this until Xmas, it's too long and I am too pregnant.

Really hope this lifts soon sad

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