Do grown men cry?

[OnnaStick]

I have had a big row with my (adult) brother. This is very unusual.

We have made up now and both apologised.

During the row, bro phoned my mum in floods and floods of tears.

He was also in floods when he phoned to make up.

My mum is desparately worried because she says that boys don't cry and for him to be sobbing means something is wrong.

She thinks he might be depressed.

Do grown men cry? I agree it is not the norm, but surely he can just be an emotional man, not necessarily depressed?

Your experiences?

[scurryfunge]

Of course men can and do cry, it only society's convention that demands they shouldn't

[GetDownYouWillFall]

well, it probably is an indication of how much he thinks of his sister - a row with you was very very stressful and upsetting for him.

Obviously I don't know him, but to me I wouldn't think this indicates depression. There are lots of other indicators if he was generally depressed. This sounds like a very acute reaction, to a very unusual, upsetting event.

Incidentally I don't think it is "weird" for grown men to cry. I think it actually shows a degree of maturity and "owning" feelings.

[Marne]

Yes, why wouldn't a man cry? they have the same feelings as us dont they?

Dh suffers from depression and i would say 'when he's depressed he is less likely to cry as his depression is caused by bottling things up'.

[MrsRhettButler]

yeeees but... i don't think my bro would cry over me (unless i died) it has to be a very big thing for a man to cry. the only time i have seen dp cry was when his dad died and also when we almost split up a year or so ago... he wouldn't just cry because of a row whereas i may do

was it a very bad arguement? were you particularly cruel?

[MrsRhettButler]

oh and i wouldn't say depressed, i would say overly sensitive

[willsurvivethis]

Both my DH and my two closest male friends cry quite easily - is that unusual?? I think it is time society catches up if it still thinks grown men don't cry!

[willsurvivethis]

ok

dh cries when he thinks about his mum who died in June, he cried when our friend cried during his speech at his daughter's (my goddaughter's) baptism

said friend was in floods when describing how much his faith meant to him and how he hoped his daughters would grow up the same

other close male friend cried recently when talking about his dad who died a few years ago

am I surrounded by soppy men?

why can they only cry over 'big' things?

[30andMerkin]

Mine cried over macaroni cheese once.

It was awesome macaroni cheese, but I still don't think it deserved that!

Actually it was more connected to a deeply broody moment on my daft DH's part, whereby he could imagine us eating macaroni cheese surrounded by screaming happily gurgling children for the first time.

I don't think there's anything wrong with men crying at all, but actually mine very rarely blubs. If i was out of character for your brother, maybe worth gently finding out if there is anything else going on? particularly anything which would make him pursue a row if you don't normally fight?

What was the argument about - might provide some clues if you were happy to say??

[BeenBeta]

Men do cry. I cry occassionally but only ever in front of DW at moments of very high emotion.

Your brother might be depressed, he might not. More crying may well be an indicator of depression but not the only one.

Is there any other indication?

[OnnaStick]

Thanks for your thoughts all. I would feel a bit disloyal putting it all online for people to disect so I won't add further details. I really do appreciate your responses though, and it has helped me to gain perspective.