Can't stop crying, feel so 'unwell'

[blackflyinyourchardonnay]

I'm sorry to barge on here moaning, but I'm a bit scared and I don't know what to do.

I feel almost hysterical, I keep bursting into huge floods of tears, even in public, with no real trigger other than I feel 'odd'.

In all honesty I can't remember the last time I felt truly happy, but I've always had a cheerful front, I'm frightened by my lack of control now.

I feel suffocated, but don't know why.
And at night I can't sleep, and weirdly tear at my skin. Feel all crawly and uncomfortable. Just want to get away from myself if that make sense?

I don't know what to do. I don't want to go to the doctors, I just can't face going.
The waiting room panics me, and it's horribly busy there.

Please help?

[iwasyoungonce]

You must go to see your GP. There is no way a bunch of strangers on the internet can give you any better help than you'll get at the doctors. You are clearly not well, you have to be brave and make an appointment. Do it now. x

[blackflyinyourchardonnay]

I can't. I know it sound feeble, but i really really can't face.

[PiggyMad]

Maybe try to get a phone consultation first and see if teh doctor can sort something out that way or arrange for a home visit?

[iwasyoungonce]

What a great suggestion by Piggymad. Phone NHS Direct for starters, tell them you are too anxious to go to the GP. Come on blackfly, you can't go on like this sweetheart.

[willsurvivethis]

Blackfly there's (from experience) a few things about your post that worry me, the tearing at your skin and trying to get away from yourself in particular.

You need help and you need a doctor. Ask for a home visit, ring NHS Direct or as already suggested ask the doc to call you.

You don't need to feel like this - there is something you can do about it, honest, but not on your own.

[notnickgriffinschick]

Listen to me!!!

YOU need to go to the GP

you need to tell him just how you feel and he will help you.

2 summers ago I had a horrid experience after that I was constantly on edge I kept crying and really panicked if the door was knocked on or the fone rang.

I told my very upfront Gp and to my surprise he was lovely and talked through all the options for a very real anxiety issue- thankfully the short term strategy worked but you wont know til you go.

[racingheart]

Hi.

It is hard to go to the doc when you feel like this. Hard to be in public, I've been there. Delaying getting help because asking for it when you're so down is a huge undertaking.

But try and think of it this way: if you go you will feel better. If you go there will be a good outcome to how you are feeling now. If you don't it will get worse. Please try and let yourself get there. I ring and ask for a specific doc I trust and ask for appointments at one end of the day so I'm not kept hanging around. Take someone with you if you feel better. Or if you'd prefer, tell reception it's a sudden and severe episode of depression which makes it difficult for you to be in public, and can they arrange a home visit or out of hours appointment.

Please look after yourself as best you can.

[kizzie]

Im going through something very similar at the moment (and have done in the past). Your post rang many bells for me.

You deserve to get the help you need so do ring the GP. Either ask for a home visit or if you are able to get there but you are worried you wont be able to speak write everything down beforehand and just give it to the dr.

Its the first step to you getting better.

xx

[blackflyinyourchardonnay]

Thankyou all for giving me a push, and making me feel less alone.

Seashore, I hope your forehead heals quickly. It's scarey when skin feels so wrong isn't it?

I took all your advice, and called nhs direct, who advised me to ring my surgery to speak to the on call doctor.

I've been to see my GP now, and have been prescribed Citalopram. She thinks it's pnd still lurking around. (I never got proper treatment, being stubborn)

She's also referred me to a psychotherapist.
....and heres the best bit of advice, she advised me to have a look at mumsnet!

Thanks all you lovely mnetters for being around x

[willsurvivethis]

yay well done you for taking that big first step!! And for your doctor to be understanding.

Hope they kick in quickly but that in the meantime you find things a bit less dark because you ahve reached out.

Keep talking to us if it helps - most if not all of us have seen a dark corner or two.

[blackflyinyourchardonnay]

Thankyou

My doctor was fantastic, so lovely. Felt kind of safe with her if that makes sense?

[seashore]

Blackflyinyourchardonnay,

that's fantastic news, really glad, it sounds like you are well on your way to getting things sorted out for yourself. Well done.

And that's really funny about the advice to use mumsnet, made me laugh!

I am also so glad that your doctor is someone you feel comfortable with, that's really important.

It's all going to be fine

[iwasyoungonce]

Well done Blackfly, very brave and decisive. Good luck with getting better soon. Sounds like your GP is a Mumsnetter!

[PiggyMad]

That's great news! Well done you for going - must have taken a lot of courage - you should feel really proud after how you felt beforehand!