Why do people put stuff in your head that shouldn't be there but you have to live with, and deal with the consequences?

[MitsubishiWarrioress]

Because in the words of MN, I want to fuck the fuck off and when I get there, keep fucking off.

Just too much fucking crap in my head.

Why? I want to scrape my brain out because the shit that is in there doesn't fucking belong to me.

[GetDownYouWillFall]

Ouch.
We can't control other people, but we can control how we react.

Is there anyone you can talk to about it, or even just writing it down can sometimes help to get it "out of your head" and down on to the paper?

[MitsubishiWarrioress]

It's to do with being abused . Want it to go away but something has cropped up that is going to make it a part of now. I wish I'd left it buried. Not gone to counselling.
Someone said something that rang alarm bells, can't let history repeat itself but I don't want it in my head.

[GetDownYouWillFall]

So it was something the counsellor said?

[TotalChaos]

Mitts - I don't feel qualified to advise, just wish you peace and strength to deal with this x

[MitsubishiWarrioress]

No, the abuser said it. shit shit

[GetDownYouWillFall]

This probably doesn't help at this very moment, but the memory will probably fade over time.

[MitsubishiWarrioress]

can't put it on here. not being cryptic. just too messy you know?

[MitsubishiWarrioress]

Said something that implies he hasn't changed

[GetDownYouWillFall]

then you need to get as far away from him as possible and make sure he doesn't know where you are. Then you can start to move on.

Sorry you are going through this

[ASecretLemonadeDrinkerDAVE]

I know so much what you mean. I wish there was drugs that cleaned your brain. It's hard to accept you (in a way) have to accept it. No matter how hard you cry, it won't go. No matter what you smash, it won't go. No matter how much you wish it would, it won't go. I do this currently by burying it - probably not the best way, but, I realised every time I went to couselling I wanted a magic cure. For the majority I say outloud "you are not fucking getting in the way of my life now, fuck off" and think of anything other than what is flooding my mind, but there is one thing that still and TBH I will never be able to say that too... but I can either try and get on, or cry for a few hours and be no better off.

[willsurvivethis]

Mits - are you worried about anyone else?

That's hard to ignore

if you want to you can CAT me or find me on fb

Don't know how you are feeling but have my own experience

[colditz]

is it to do with people telling you things that aren't true?

You have3 to tell someone you trust, so they can tell you why it's not true.

i told my councilor that the social services would take my children into care if we got evicted from my property. i wept my heart out. I knew this was true because my dad had told me so.

She was agog, and negated this, and proved to me that this is not the case.

I needed someone to do that and so do you

[tethersendisnigh]

MW, this could mean that the counselling is actually working- without knowing anything about your circumstances, if you have buried things, thoughts, feelings, memories, the process of counselling- the process of dealing with the issues digs them up. They need to be dug up before they can be faced. They need to be faced before they can be dealt with. They will be dealt with, and you won't feel like this forever; it is part of the process of you healing.

As I say, I don't know your circumstances, so much of what I am saying is drawn from my own experience; but think twice about disengaging from counselling, because if it's painful, it means it's working IME.

[FabIsGoingToGetFit]

I agree. Someone sent me a message today and has had my head in bits.

You can CAT me if you want MW.

[MitsubishiWarrioress]

Thanks. I needed to get back together to function.

Something has been said that suggests that the person involved has issues that makes me concerned for someone else, yes. but having buried and dealt with it myself for so long, whilst I obviously wouldn't want anyone else to be put at risk, the thought of it all blowing up and certain people whom I care about knowing is just too monumental to handle at the moment and I feel as if I am drowning in the process of accepting that I have to do the right thing.

I wanted to heal myself, but so much damage and hurt could be done because of it.

It's like so much of my childhood was a big lie, that I kept burying to live in the present and now it's all here, in the present

[FabIsGoingToGetFit]

MW - I do think I could help if you want to talk off here.

Take care.

[willsurvivethis]

MW same here - have dealt with some rather similar issues - and still in the middle of some to be fair.

[MitsubishiWarrioress]

Thanks Fab....

Have had a chaotic evening with DC's all over the place, but maybe when they are at their Dad's tomorrow I will try to get my head together and do it. And thanks to other posters. It's tiring isn't it?

xx

[FabIsGoingToGetFit]

Take care.