interesting article in the times today... Is mid-life depression the new norm for women? Fortysomething women of today thought careers and children would bring happiness. But depression in this group

[ChakraKan]

i found this to be a very interesting insight into why many of us feel the way we do...

www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/mental_health/article7111991.ece

[Shitemum]

For years I have been saying we have been told we can have it all, we've been sold that idea and we've been conned.

We can't have it all - babies we care for ourselves, happy relationship with a partner, fullfilling job, time to keep the house in order, a lovely social life, time to ourselves...
However we do end up doing it all anyway - trying our hardest to have it all.

Something has to give and that something is us.

[blueshoes]

I think calling it the 'norm' is overstating it somewhat.

[choosyfloosy]

I don't remember being told I could have it all. I was depressed for 6 months when I split up with my husband; better than being depressed for 20 years because I stayed with him, like my mum. How many of my mother's generation took Valium and for how long? Also my mum was on 60 a day and apparently nicotine is genuinely an antidepressant (I'm loath to say this as I read it in an Oliver James article but I followed up on the evidence and it appears he's right).

I would guess if there is a rise in depression, it's those old culprits, increasing isolation, decline in religious belief (not that I am religious but they do say those who are, are happier) and lack of sleep. Am not a psychologist though.

[cornsilk]

I agree with choosy.Depression is more reported than it was in our mother's age. By the age of 40 you are more confident and able to go to the GP and say what you want/how you feel. IME people in their 30's suffer more depression than those in their 40's, but that's just based on people I know.

[Niecie]

I agree, amongst my friends our 30's were worse than the 40's have been. Now we are in our 40's we are all coming out of the fog of sleep deprivation and babies and not having a moment to ourselves, whether we are SAHM or WOHM.

I also agree that there never was any question of us 'having it all'. It is impossible - there simply aren't enough hours in the day and if women are attempting to have it all because they think that is equality, then they are a bit deluded. Men never had it all - they didn't have the child rearing or the housework bit even if they did manage the wonderful career bit.

I didn't read every word of the article but I wonder if the depression in the 40's is anything to do with those women being the sandwich generation (I think that is the term - not sure) where women who had their babies relatively late, in their 30's or 40's find themselves run ragged by a demanding young family and looking after elderly parents. If you add that on top of home, job, relationship it can be a killer combo. But as I say, I don't see any evidence of it amongst my friends and we are all heading towards our mid 40's now.

[H8fools]

feck em, wth do the times know lol

[racingheart]

I agree it's always been around. Just more reported now. Life was very hard indeed for our parents and grandparents' generations. No easier than now - just different emphases. My mum didn't have to entertain us all as we were out in the back lane playing till dusk every day, but she did have to hand wash all dishes and laundry and light fires. (We were a bit behind with the mod cons in the 70s lol.)

My mum had low grade depression most of our childhood but it went unnoticed and definitely untreated due to my dad's colossal, fiery tempered, nervous breakdown style depression which kept us all on eggshells for years. My biggest fear when depression takes hold is that I turn into my dad, inflict on my kids what he inflicted on us and that my kids think of me with the same ambivalence that I think of him.

[choosyfloosy]

Keep coming back to this so it must have touched a nerve... my great grandmother was in an institution for a couple of decades due to depression. Unless we feel like saying that it's all down to our delicate female synapses being overwhelmed with education since the 1870 Act in this manner, we have to accept that vulnerability to depression is one aspect of the human condition IMO. I guess this is where we argue about the pharma companies medicalising normal life experience, to which I would have to say

[Alouiseg]

I'm blaming low carb diets for depression!!!! After being the most "up" person for 38 years i started low carbing, lost a shedload of weight and became very depressed

I started taking fluoxetine in the run up to my 40th birthday, gradually came off it then a clever mnetter pointed to the link between carbohydrates and serotonin...... It makes total sense to me and i'm back on the good carbs and feeling much better.

I'm not trying to make light of depression btw but i wish i'd known about the link sooner.

[jardy]

a great article but i didn`t agree with the reply about dont watch news or read papers.
They really cheer me up,distract me,and in the case of toa ( triumph over adversity) stories make me feel heaps better!! Yes i agree with smelling the roses etc and all those nature things but i would get very depressed without newspapers,news and serious documentaries lol!