maybe today is not the day

[willsurvivethis]

to spend all morning working on the case of the most suicidal client I've ever had in my long years in this job.

Feeling down already - all this reading medical reports on why he wants to die if he's removed from the UK, including the various ways in which he plans to do it...not helping my mood much.

I am redundant from 9 June and have just emailed the HR manager if I can be released sooner, sod the pay, I don't want to get so ill again.

[tethersend]

Can you ask for someone else to deal with this client?

Surely your employer needs to be sensitive on this issue...

[willsurvivethis]

I wish

Most of our staff have been made redundant. I'm the supervising lawyer and currently the only one senior enough to deal with this one and the work is long overdue.

My employer doesn't know - I went on sabbatical when my PTSD got too bad to work so I could focus on therapy in peace. Should not have come back - at least not right now.

[Fliight]

Sorry to sound a bit callous, but what exactly is this chap hoping other people will do to stop him, if he is so very keen to cark it?

I'd probably start feeling cynical round about now, if not sooner...

sorry you have to deal with this.

[willsurvivethis]

That's not helping me either Fliight - I'm very cynical and annoyed that he's manipulating others this way. I mean I've been down to that place once or twice and it worried the people who care for me enough that I managed to pull away again.

On the other hand, I have a dh, ds, close friends who are there day and night - he has nothing and no one.

[Fliight]

Oh dear, it's a terribly sad situation.

what kind of outlook does he have, I mean legally? Will you be likely to be able to assist him or is it all looking a bit crap?

I mean if there was a good outcome and grateful client to look forward to, it might be an incentive to stick around iyswim.

[tethersend]

Perhaps you should think about going o pre-emptive sick leave instead of bringing forward your redundancy?

You are entitled to work which doesn't make you ill, surely?

If they are making you redundant, you don't owe them anything.

[willsurvivethis]

He's terrified of being sent back to his home country. But he's not helping himself by refusing counselling (cos it hurts to talk - yes I know - got that T-shirt!)and I have dealt with stronger cases.

[tethersend]

What would happen if this case had come up after your redundancy date?

[willsurvivethis]

I'm trying to avoid going off sick as my sick record is good (thanks to the sabbatical!) and I don't want to ruin the reference my new employer will no doubt ask for by suddenly showing up with 7 weeks sick...

I have been offered a different, less stressful job with a really good Law Centre but the funding decision they depend on to pay me is being delayed and delayed. So fed up!!

[willsurvivethis]

That's a good question thethersend - probably dealt with in a different part of the country stressing the guy out even further.

Thanks both for letting me rant - it helps xx

[willsurvivethis]

I'm still sitting here with this case - taking far too much time. Just can't get it done. Getting so angry with myself now.

[sago]

my sympathies go out to you...I have worked for a charity in an immigration detention centre...and some cases and clients are really really hard to deal with...and to keep your professional facade going ie, not let it get you down. Can you talk about it with another colleague? I know it sounds dreadful but having a chat and seeing some of the "absurdities" of the case with other people did help me. It is good to get someone else´s input into your work, and to get a fresh opinion, someone who will look at it from a greater distance and say something along the lines of `oh, silly man, he should be following your advice and going to get some medical help to strengthen his case. you have done all you can for him etc ´. do you have to do this today? could you postpone for a while and rebuild that professional self protection shell a bit in the meantime?

[willsurvivethis]

Sago we almost must have been colleagues? Did your charity start with I?

I feel I need to get this done now - it has been messed with and delayed (not by me) for too long.

Never thought I would have PTSD myself - definitely something my clients have

The atmosphere in the office is difficult at the moment - not easy to chat about things. Going to be big girl now and push on - should be done in half an hour max!!

[GetDownYouWillFall]

So sorry you are having to deal with this willsurvive . It sounds awful.

I wish there was an easy way to leave work stuff at work and switch into "home" mode.... but I've never mastered it myself.

My DH seems to manage it ...will have to pick his brains.

Nothing really helpful to add, other than some hand-holding support xx

[willsurvivethis]

It's done

I'm exhausted and have a horrible feeling in my stomach I need to get out of here and find somewhere safe.

5 pages of representations written by me and another 45 of reports.

Would have taken the pre-illness WST 2 hours max.

Thanks for the handholding x

[sago]

Fantastic! Well done!!!!!!!
I worked for a charity that started with R but then changed its name and it now starts with I...-mean anything to you? I got out in time...it´s a really really tough and hard job. hope the new job works out....
Enough about work....go and enjoy your family!

[tethersend]

Well done, wst

[willsurvivethis]

Sago it is a tough job but one that I've done for 8 years with a lot of pleasure and passion. 2 years full time appeals in court, 6 years supervising plus caseload.

Well not much longer - I've talked to HR and it looks like I am leaving in two weeks. will cost me some pay but I get to keep redundancy payment and hopefully what is left of my sanity. Now for a new job...