Where do I start?

[MadLenny]

Where to begin?
Was at a meeting with occupational health today, referred there by my line manager due to a 'high' level absences from work. SHe asked lots of questions and for the first time I was able to be open with someone who's not my DP:

• I binge/comfort eat
  
• i'm so tired all the time and could sleep for hours but when I do, I feel no better
  
• My body aches all over
  
• I have a constant head ache and horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach all the time
  
• I'm crabby with DP and DD for no reason
  
• I find it so difficult to motivate myself to do anything
  
• my memory is shot and I have to write myself the stupidest lists (one thing I'd put down for today was have shower/wash hair!)
  
• I feel like I'm constantly unwell and its a long time since I've felt 'myself'
  
• I get so tearful and anxious going into work every day
  
• I find my line manager unapproachable and so difficult to gauge what mood she'll be in
  
• I am scared of the person I job share with, not just how she treats me but also the people we manage, yet I LOVE my actual job
  
• I worry all the time that I'm a crap mum and am doing things wrong
  
• I'm really fat and ugly and that will never change
  
• just feel totally worthless and pointless
  
• Just lost my grandad and finding it really difficult to cope with but I haven't been able to cry?
  
  Occ Health suggested getting my manager to do a work stress audit with me and I almost hyperventialted at the thought of it - how can I possibly be honest with the woman when she is part of the problem and not interested. Even Occ Health said she could see how anxious I was getting about that but that if I could manage it would be worth doing. Also recommended I see my GP as had PND after my DD was born 3 years ago and took sertraline for a while. SHe aslo advised me to ask for a referral for counselling as well anything else my GP suggested.
  
  Just really needed to get all that off my chest

[willsurvivethis]

I'm not a doctor but I hazard a guess that you would score pretty high on a depression/anxiety questionairre right now. I think a visit to your GP is in order. If you feel you can't talk take the post you've just written, it's very clear.

Does your place of work have an HR department? If so a confidential chat with an officer there would be a start. I am a manager and employees struggling with stress are taken seriously because, as you say, it causes absences from work.

The chat would involve you stating that you have difficulties with your line manager. No need to get personal or vilify her - just tell them that you feel unable to do this stress assesment with her as you feel your relationship with her is part of the problem.

If you are a union member they can help too.