Hmm an unhelpful revelation - anxiety and alcohol... Anyone able to give any advice?

[ImSoNotTelling]

Going to cut a long story short

Was a pretty heavy drinker from about 16, after 20 years decided to call it a day as although it wasn't affecting anyone yet, i realised that it could in the future, and was a total waste of time, money and brain cells. I packed it in last August and haven't had a drink since.

Separate to that.
When I was pregnant with DC1 I went a bit peculiar - although I didn't think anything of it until I was pregnant with DC2, and developed terrible anxiety to the point I coudn't leave the house. Looking back I then realised I hadn't been quite right when pg with DC1.

With DC2 I received support from perinatal team etc and was referred for CBT. We all agreed that it was a "pregnancy hormones not agreeing with me" thing and sure enough when I had DC2 last June the symptons all but vanished.

However they have been recurring and getting worse over the last few months and I suddenly realised. That the anxiety has been occurring at times when I have not been drinking.



Has anyone heard or had experience of this?

I'm not about to start drinking again and am mightily pissed off that the side effect of the super-positive move to a sober life has been that I spend half my time in a state of abject terror.

I have been for a CBT assessment and the work will start properly soon so that is positive I guess.

I suppose I just wanted a bit of a moan and to ask if this was common/am I imagining the link maybe/if it is this WTF do I do?

TIA

[willsurvivethis]

No experience so tell me to take a running jump if I'm way off the mark but it seems to make sense to me that alcohol was 'helping' you deal with the things that make you anxious and now you are feeling the full impact.

You've been off the booze for a long time though wonder if it is flaring up now because you have put a lot of effort in staying off the booze and that has focused your mind or simply life is more stressful right now? CBT sounds crucial stuff to help with coping strategies - I hope it goes well.

[TotalChaos]

Also no personal experience, but I also wonder whether the heavy drinking was a form of self-medication to stave off anxiety? Best wishes with the CBT, I've had CBT for an anxiety disorder and found it very useful (albeit in conjunction with ADs).

[ImSoNotTelling]

That's what I'm wondering - if I was using alcohol to cope with anxiety - but if I was I never even realised that I suffered from anxiety.

I mean when I discovered alcohol at 16 I was pretty anxious when i went out - about how I looked, taking to boys etc etc but that's all normal teen stuff.

If it stems from a teenage lack of confidence 20 years ago then how on earth do i being to address this now? I always considered myself a fairly confident person from about 21ish - I didn't feel as if I was masking anything IYSWIM.

I have found something that says giving up smoking can end up with people getting depressed or anxious if that was why they started smoking but lots of them didn't realise why they were smoking IYSWIM. i don't know if the same applies to drinking...

[ImSoNotTelling]

totalchaos thanks for that about the CBT - it's only a couple of sessions going through a workbook or something but i have high hopes!

willsurvivethis I do think that it's something like you say but as per my previous post what on earth to do about it?

[Nemofish]

You're not alone!

I take far too many OTC sleeping tablets, as if I don't, I suffer from crippling anxiety and can't bear the thought of leaving the house. The stuff I take is used as an AD and anti anxiety so i suspect I am benefitting from those aspects too. Yet I know that relying on this to keep me going is not a long term solution.

I am about to order a shedload of books from amazon about positive psychology, EFT, CBT, beating anxiety and so on.

Am I right in thinking that you have joined us on the stately homes thread at times, ImSoNotTelling?

[ImSoNotTelling]

Hello nemo

No not me on the stately homes, sorry!

This isn't a namechange for this thread BTW - I namechanged when I asked for support with the drinking last year and have never changed back again - this is "me" now.

Maybe some peoples brains are just happier when they're soused in chemicals? Booze, nicotine, OTC drugs etc etc. I am beginning to wonder I have to say.

Any of those books looking particularly good nemo? Highly recommended? Someone on another thread said about Self Help for Your Nerves: but I haven't splashed out yet.

I am just SO annoyed that stopping drinking appears to have done this. Apart from slowly killing my liver I was fine and now I feel completely bonkers and i hate it so much.

[willsurvivethis]

I know what you mean - I've had an eating problem for as long as I can remember and since a year I finally know why (abuse memories returning) I even know exactly how the process works (ie creating a safe/happy space) but changing it if you've never learned 'proper' coping strategies is hard.

I'm still working on more fundamental stuff for now but hope to be able to tackly the eating with CBT at some point.

That may have happened for you - alcohol helpt so in all of adulthood you haven't learnt and practised coping skills. That's the thing with coping skills - they need practising. 16 years was a crucial age to start drinking heavily in that respect. A bit of alcohol takes the edge off they say (I don't drink - never got to grips with the taste - nothing principled)

[YouCantTeuchThis]

I think one route will be in exploring more fully your reasons for quitting drinking...few people who drink 'in moderation' just decide to quit as it is not destructive in any way.

Only you know why you felt it could potentially be damaging. It is possible that either you were 'self-medicating' your already existing anxiety (albeit subconsciously) or it is possible to have triggered anxiety symptoms with heavy drinking - but this would usually subside after about a month of abstinence.

Alternatively, there is no direct link between the alcohol and the anxiety - since stopping drinking your life and body have undergone dramatic changes.

I hope you get the support you need.

[ImSoNotTelling]

Oh I definitely wasn't drinking in moderation! I always drank a lot, I drank every evening, had done for years, i stopped because I imagined being the mum turning up at the school gates every morning smelling of stale drink and thought NO.

So my life and body have undergone dramatic changes but before i stopped drinking ie I met DH, got married, settled down and had kids all in a very short space of time. total lifestyle change. I used to smoke 20 a day but packed in before getting married, that was only 2006.

avril it is hard isn't it. I have been looking at the fag packets in the newsagents a bit wistfully... I am very aware that I am "naked" now, with no crutches available...

[ImSoNotTelling]

willsurvivethis I think we have seen each other around before it sounds like you have a lot on your plate but I;m glad that you are looking forwards and trying to get to grips with things.

[willsurvivethis]

yep on more than one thread I think

[Nemofish]

ImSoNotTelling I just wondered as I felt a rush of empathy when I read your name, thought that had probably come from reading your posts on stately homes, but must have been another section!

On my amazon wishlist is -
Overcoming anxiety for Dummies
Building Self Confidence for Dummies
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Dummies
(See a pattern forming?!)
Positive Psychology for Dummies

And lots and lots of books about spirituality, spiritualism, shamanic journeying, psychic development and so on.

[ImSoNotTelling]

nemo have you been to the doc or are you trying to do it all by yourself? I must admit I'm quite a "practical" person so when it started happening I was a bit "righto - brain malfunctioning - see the quack and get it sorted" so off I trotted. (Well OK DH dragged my the first time but after that I was pretty up for it ). I'm not sure that a "practical" approach is much use for this sort of problem though - I had some counselling once for a few weeks donkeys years ago and it was shite - and I'm not very spiritual or anything like that (I see that's what some of your books are about). BAH!

You may have see me on my monster threads about giving up drinking and then when all hell broke loose when the lovely helpful support people my GP gave me the number for who I only ever spoke to once for 5 mins decided to shop me to SS. That was fun

willsurvivethis yes we do seem to bump into each other it's nice to "see" you

[ImSoNotTelling]

sorry nemo that was rather a personal question none of my business

What is paroxetine?

[ImSoNotTelling]

I just googled it

i remember all that stuff with seroxat in the news a few years back.

Also the thing I saw said that they think some of these problems can be caused by low seratonin, and seroxat "regulates" seratonin levels (ie presumably increases them), which is what ecstacy does...

[ImSoNotTelling]

These drugs take a while to get going don't they avril, I'm sure you will start seeing positive effects soon

When I look at these boards and see the number of people suffering with mental health issues I really do wonder what's up with modern life. And whether teh gold standard of sane sober level no drugs no nothing is really achievable for everyone, and if not, is that really such a terrible thing? If a person feels happy and content when they are taking something which has no side effects, then why not IYSWIM...

Anyway just thinking there.

have ordered that book I linked to earlier from amazon.

Thing is I am back to work in a couple of months and we are going to be under a lot of stress having the house more or less knocked down and rebuilt, so i really want to be sorted before any of that. i don;t want to jeopardise my job, they were really understanding while I was pg but that was different I guess, you get some leeway when pg...

I am not giving myself a lot of time here am I...

Thanks for coming to talk everyone BTW it is really helping

[llareggub]

Oh I was hoping this wasn't you!

I have no advice or experience to offer, but would like to wave an arm of support your way.

[llareggub]

I wonder if the two things are coincidental. Perhaps there is something in you that really doesn't do pregnancy very well, but now that you aren't drinking you are now dealing with the after effects of addiction? Perhaps you have moved out of what I'd call the active recovery stage and you are now living the life of sobriety so better placed to start working through the reasons why you were drinking so much?

I also hate to say this, but could you possibly be pregnant?

[ImSoNotTelling]

Oh hello llareggub! Lovely to see you

Yes it is me... I was just saying to DH though, I obviously have quite a bit of determination, I have quit smoking, I have quit drinking, I can deal with this!

(Easy to say when being indoors on the PC isn't what i feel anxious about!)

I hope you and DH are both fine and dandy

[llareggub]

Yes, we are both fine and dandy!

I'm sure you can do this. Beating alcohol is very hard, I know. Funnily enough, I quit smoking overnight without any pain at all.

[ImSoNotTelling]

x-posts...

DH thinks they are coincidental but I think that's because he doesn't want to think there are underlying reasons for it IYSWIM because that sounds a bit heavy and worrying. I also think he slightly worries that it could be an excuse to start drinking again (not that i would) but he is not keen to see a link between the two. The timings are just so similar though...

It could be that it is to do with after effects of addiction - and facing up to a life without a fall-back option - and my life has changed beyond recognition in the last few years - it has all been very quick. Yes it could easily be that.

There is no way I'm pregnant