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Mental health

Hands up if you find Mother's Day hard

12 replies

willsurvivethis · 13/03/2010 16:49

I do

The only thing that makes it easier is that I no longer feel as bad a mum as I did last year..

My mum died 12 years ago. In the past year I have learned that she 'did not meet my emotional needs' when I was a toddler and she did not spot or stop the abuse i suffered later. But she was my mum and she's gone.

And last summer by lovely MIL died. My poor dh is a minister and will have to do the usual cheery Mothering Sunday stuff in church...

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sarah293 · 13/03/2010 16:51

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willsurvivethis · 13/03/2010 16:53

Yes Riven I think you should - after all your life is so easy and you have nothing else on your mind....

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sarah293 · 13/03/2010 16:56

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Keziahhopes · 13/03/2010 18:07

I do

  • Mum still alive, but isn't well, so it makes it hard for me to admit my youth/early days. and I am still not a mum


Have to go to church too, and be all smiley when children give out daffodils, cos dh on deacon duty (so can't not go!)

Pillow sounds good idea!
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starshaker · 13/03/2010 18:11

My dd is away to her dads this weekend. Unless i buy my own card and gift (which i dont see a point in) i will get nothing. Ill just sit at home on my own and probably just listen to my twins heartbeats. Always seems to cheer me up.

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FabIsDoingPrettyWell · 13/03/2010 18:11

I hate it too.

MIL rang to thank DH for the flowers and I couldn't even bare to hear her voice.

My mother gave me away as her boyfriend didn't want me.

DH has bought me the most gorgeous bunch of flowers though .

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rhksmum · 13/03/2010 21:05

I hate it
I want to hide in my room all day and not come out but I cant, I have to put a big smile on my face and let my kids think I'm having a good day.

I dont want to be like my mum was, I dont want my kids to feel like I did every year on this day and they dont but I cant help feeling I'm letting them down by not being the cheery happy mum they should have.

The messages that are going round facebook and bebo are really triggering me, I want to reply to them no I didnt have a good mum, infact saying I had a bad mum is still too good a word for her but I cant go back and change it I just have to get on with it.

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Nemofish · 14/03/2010 18:39

My pet hate is all the 'treat the special person in your life, your mum' I think ooooh boy you wouldn't say that if you'd ever met her!!!

I find it easier to ignore it actually, dd and dh are loving enough on a normal day, I don't feel that I need cards / flowers one day a year to make up for anything, iykwim.

The sentiment makes me feel queasy, none of those card-shop emotions are ones that I associate with my mother...How about...

"Feel the shame of your inadequacy as a daughter this mothers day"

"Mum you are always there to crush any feelings of self worth I may have"



Sorry, I am still bitter...

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starshaker · 14/03/2010 19:46

Nemo i think you have uncoverd a new market for cards. Bet those would sell out before all the slushy ones do lol

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weegiemum · 14/03/2010 19:52

I hate it too. My Mum walked out the day after mothers day a long time ago and I hate the day - but have got through it again, my 3dcs had a nice time and didn't realise how hard I found it.

As long as I never turn into her (and there's scant chance of that) I'll be a good mum to my kids.

I'm glad I don't speak to her and don't have to acknowledge the day - am more than happy to do so with my lovely stepmum and great MIL.

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mrsgboring · 14/03/2010 19:56

I do too and with no good reasons really. Failed to manage discreet crying in church, so probably everybody saw that I'm a complete fruitcake.

I have two lovely DSs and DH did manage to organise a present, even if he wouldn't get up with the baby and sprung a pointless, day destroying trip to Ikea on me at no notice. So it's pretty bloody silly of me to be upset. Day just makes me feel like not a proper mother and not a proper woman.

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Nemofish · 14/03/2010 20:10

Ikea, mrsgboring? That's harsh...

Do not worry we are all complete fruitcakes here.

I am off to flog my Anti-Mothers Day cards on the stately homes thread...

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