this is the first time I have ever 'spoken' about this.
15 years ago I had a one night stand with one of dh's friends. Me and dh were not married back then, infact we barely knew each other and had only just started seeing each other very casually. It was wrong and a total drunken mistake but in my defence I was very young and I had no idea that me and dh were going to end up in a proper relationship, become close, marry each other and then have children......but I'm so glad we did.
But, this one night stand happened, and it has haunted me ever since. And I mean daily. It's a mixture of guilt, pain and shame and it has made me obsessional about this person. I rarely see him thankfully but whenever I do he looks at me like I'm a piece of shit. He's been derogatory about me in the past (totally on the sly, as if dh ever found what had happened all hell would break loose). He's one of these 'women are for shagging and nothing else' types. Nice! Well done me.....
I've blamed myself totally for this and can't stop punishing myself (but it was him that came onto me). I don't want to be haunted anymore, but it's deeply ingrained and I don't know what to do about it or where to go for help. How do you rock up at the GP's with this one???
I just want to be free and to shake off the demons. Is it possible?
Thanks for reading.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.
Mental health
obsessional about a person
7 replies
goodbyesunhellomoon · 11/02/2010 23:29
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.